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Chapter 7: Confessions

Spike did his best thinking while walking. He was glad that the gang decided not to bury Buffy again. After waking up in a coffin and going through the torture of clawing her way up, her spirit would want to be free of the box for eternity. She is an angel, Spike mused as he looked up at the stars. Maybe she has been watching him from the heavens. He certainly hasn’t been watching out for himself the last couple years, he should have been dust at least two dozen times. Drinking himself into oblivion at night, only to be drunk enough to walk into the morning light, but at the last moment, changing his mind. He had to be better than that, for her. She deserved someone that could be there for her and he walked away. Not worthy. Not worthy of being a chicken and walking out in sunlight. He must suffer a life without her, for what he had done. He looked up during his musings and realized he was at Joyce’s cemetery. Another person he disappointed. How could he treat her daughter like he had? Joyce liked him, too. How could he do that to her and her memory? He trudged through the grave stones and markers to find hers. Maybe a little talk with her would make things clearer.

As he neared her resting place, he heard a tiny noise. Suddenly aware of his surrounding, he looked around. As he rounded a tree, he saw a crying angel. She was bent over Joyce’s grave sniffling and talking. Quietly he listened to the Bit as she talked to her mom. He was just telling her things that were going on in her life. School, friends, boys, just ordinary life events. Then after about twenty minutes her one sided conversation turned to a new topic. “Mom, Spike’s back. I know you always liked him, and I did, too. That is until I found out what he did to Buffy. How could he do that to someone he claimed to love for over a year? I know, Buffy said it wasn’t entirely his fault, that she treated him the same awful way, but Mom, he tried to rape her thinking it would make her love him. How messed up is that?” Dawn sniffled again, trying to understand. “You know, Buffy told me she forgave him for that. Forgave him, Mom. I asked her how and she said she had to forgive her self for letting it go that far and if she could do that she had to forgive him. She’s acting like she deserved it, asked for it. That’s just not right. Oh, and the kicker… he heard that Buffy was dead. That’s why he came back. Ha. He couldn’t come back before, but now she is gone he thinks he can just walk right in and pick up where he left off. Well, I don’t want to see him.” She was crying in earnest again. He hurt his Lilbit just as much as he hurt Buffy. Maybe worse. But if what the Bit said, Buffy found a way to forgive him before she died. She found peace before it happened. “And you want to know the worst part… no, I guess it is the best part of this whole thing is. The Scoobies decided not to tell him that Buffy isn’t dead.” Spike gasped and tripped as he took a step back. Dawn’s head swiveled in his direction. Her hand came up to her mouth and her eyes were wide open and round. “Ohmygod, no!” She screamed. “You’ve been listening to me? You are such a PRICK!” Dawn screamed at the direction of the vampire. He quickly regained his footing and stood up. Spike just stared at the young woman in front of him.

“W-what?” Spike stuttered.

“Oh my God they are going to KILL me.”

“She’s alive? Not dead?” Dawn nodded slowly.





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