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Buffy knew what she was doing. She was avoiding.

It had been a week since she had found out about the tour from Will she had not seen him since then. Well, that was not entirely true. She had seen him. After her late shifts, she would go up to his room to watch him sleep. He seemed so at peace looking at him like that made her think that things were simple.

As he slept, he was just a man. A man she loved, had loved for most of her adult life. A man who made her laugh, cry and all the space in between. A man she could give herself completely to.

Nevertheless, in the cold harsh light of day, he was none of those things. He was a rock star, on the road most of the time, having the affections of most of the female population being offered to him all the time. She had nothing to offer him that could compete.

Therefore, she did not even try to. She was hiding in so many ways, not only from Will, but also from her own feelings.

Buffy knew what she was being, immature. Storming off in a huff like a three year old that does not get what they want. Refusing to speak to Will, refusing to face reality. Being safe, being a coward.

She knew if she saw him, he would explain the tour, his life and her place within it. He had a way of making things seem so simple when in reality they were so far from it.

She sighed as she walked into the staff lounge. Her shift was over; she checked her watch. Too early, to see Will. She would have a quick shower to wash the last twelve hours from her and head home. She started pulling her things from her locker.

“Miss me love?”

She turned to see Will sitting on the lounge as casual as could be. It was not fair why he was the only man in history that made pyjamas and a dressing gown look sexy. She shook the naughty thoughts she was having from her mind. So much for being safe.

“Will Hey. I was just coming up to--” She was trying to sound convincing. She failed.

“Save it Buffy, you always were the world’s worst liar.” His stare was unnerving.

“What are you doing here? It says 'Staff Only' on the door.” That’s it Buffy, the best form of defence is attack.

“That’s right isn’t it? I am just a rock star, can’t even read a door sign. Too dumb to be you friend.” He could hear the whine in his voice. He knew he was acting like a child, but damn it. She started it.

He had wanted to remain cool and aloof, not to show how much he was hurting. He was not going to let her off that easily, if she would not come to him, hell or high water he would find a way to get to her.

It had not been easy. It had taken all of his charm and energy to make it down here. With only a week left of therapy to go; he was getting stronger everyday. He had convinced the nurse on duty that he needed the exercise, but not the company of a nurse as he walked around the hospital.

He needed to see her, but she was avoiding him. At first, he thought she was just busy but by the third day, she had not come to see him; he had figured it out.

She was ashamed of him. It had all changed when she met the band. He saw her face drop as she introduced herself to them. She did not like his friends, his life and the person he had become.

“You shouldn’t be here.” Buffy crossed her arms across her chest in a subconscious way of protecting her heart from him, as though his words would penetrate through.

“Are you still talking about the staff room pet? Or are you talking about your life in general?” He tried to read her reaction to his question. He was done playing games. He had to know where they stood.

“Does it matter which?” She ran her hands through her hair in frustration.

“What do you mean Buffy? Of course it matters.” He let his hurt show through. As much as he did not want to hear the answer to the question, he knew it needed to be asked.

“Will, what we have here is temporary. We live in this bubble of crosswords and late night chats and--”

“It’s great. Some of the best times of my life I reckon,” He was not going to let her write off the last few weeks. He would fight for her, for the both of them.

“Haven’t had so much fun, since high school, since--”

“That night,” she finished his sentence.

“Do you regret what we did?” It was the question he wanted to ask her after all these years.

“Yes,” she saw the hurt cross his face. His shoulders sagged as his worst fears were realised.

“But, not in the way you think. If we hadn’t …” she searched for the right words.

“Made love,” he interjected.

“Did what we did. I would always wonder about it. Have this dream of what could have been.”

“So, the reality was a let down?”

“Just the opposite. To have shared what we did, to know how good you could have it, to have had a taste of what love is all about. Then to know you can’t ever get that back.” The tears were forming in both their eyes. “To have the reality and knowing that it can never be that way again, that’s what I regret” her tears flowed freely now.

“It doesn’t have to be that way. What we have now is great, better than great,” he had to plead their case.

“I agree but it is not real. We can’t live our lives here at this hospital. One day soon, you are going to leave and who knows when you will come back.” He could hear the anger in her voice and see the uncertainly and fear in her eyes.

That is when it hit him. He could be dumb when he worked at it. She was not ashamed of him; she was scared. Scared of her feelings for him, scared of forming a relationship that might end soon, and in typical Buffy style she was doing what she did everything she was scared, she was running away.

However, this time he would not let her run.

“Aren’t you tired pet?” he asked.

“Well yeah, I just pulled a twelve hour shift. But, that’s not the issue here.” She was trying to be strong, avoiding his gaze. She knew one look from him and all her reasoning would fade away.

“I meant tired of running, from us, this, what you feel.” He stood up using the crutches as support. As he made his way over to her, she did not attempt to move away.

“I’m not running Will. Just seeing the whole picture, one that exists out side these hospital walls.” She could be strong about this; she had too.

“Okay then, let’s have a look at the bigger picture,” he took her face in his hand and bent down and kissed her.





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