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Chapter 21- Faraway, So Close

Buffy registered a little pain as she felt her back crash into the staff room lockers. Her focus was on Will and the kissing that was currently taking place. Her stomach filled with butterflies as he moaned into her mouth.

He was right; she was tired. Tired of being strong, fighting the attraction she had felt since high school, tired of thinking everything through. It was time to stop thinking and start feeling or in her case start being felt.

She closed her eyes and took in the sensations that he was creating within her. His mouth on hers, his tongue’s gentle caress. It was more than just physical. A part of her that had been tightly wound for years had uncurled itself in his arms. Desire sprang free. She wanted more.

All the reasons why not, were pushed to the side and she started to kiss him back. Wrapping her arms around him, she revelled in the feeling of being in his arms. Well-developed arms, those crutches had some great side effects. The benefits of which she was currently holding onto.

His hands moved from her face down to her neck. His mouth followed, placing hot wet kisses along her throat. She wanted to get closer. She wrapped her legs around his waist. Her gasp as she felt the pressure against her aroused body caught her by surprise. She had forgotten what kisses like that could stir within. All at this moment, she was feeling stirred not shaken.

“Oh Will,” she moaned.

He smiled against her neck as he heard her moans. In all the years, it was still the sweetest sound to his ears. He had dreamed of them often. Long trips in the tour bus had been filled with daydreams of Buffy, holding her, caressing her, making her moan his name. Hearing them again in person was ten times better than any dream.

Holding her, caressing her, felt like a homecoming. All the years apart, the torment was going to stop. The realisation of this almost made him weep. They had been so far way for so long, but now so close.

“You know, you are the only one who has ever called me that,” his eyes kept focusing between her eyes and her well-kissed lips. “I’m yours Buffy; always have been,” he was babbling now. He had kept his feelings for her in check for so long. Like a dam that is broken, he could not stop the flow of praises for her. He leant in and started kissing her again; afraid if he stopped the moment would be lost forever.

“I love it when you call me that,” he kept kissing down the column of her neck. “Sweetest sound in the world. My name on your lips, say it again.” He was pleading.

Not that he had to. Buffy would have recited the alphabet backwards now. As good as her mouth was with the speaking, his was just as good with the kissing. He stopped and looked at her with such passion and love combined it astounded her.

“Will,” she poured all the love she could into his name. She wanted to say more but the same fears gripped her heart.

“Buffy, it’s always been you.” He whispered in her ear. “All I have ever wanted is this. Us together.” He pulled back to look at her face flushed with desire.

“I know,” she looked away from his intense gaze.

“Me too,” he went to kiss her again. However, the pause had caused Buffy to regain her reason. No matter how good it felt, it did not change the situation they were in.

She detangled herself from Will. She felt his body tense as he pulled away from her.

He felt the sense of loss as she pushed herself away and moved across the room.

“What we want and what we can have are two different things--” she started.

“Buffy I am sick of being whacked back and forward like a rubber ball.”

“Will that’s not what I am doing,” she tried to make him see reason. Nevertheless, she looked at him and could tell he had left reason sometime ago.

“I love you.” He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “Am I stupid to think that’s enough?”

“No, it is enough,” she sighed. “I don’t know if it’s enough for us.” She had given this some thought, countless sleepless nights running the various scenarios through her mind.

“What does that mean?”

“What am I supposed to do Will, quit my job and be a groupie? I have a life here, a career, one I have worked hard for. Am I supposed to throw it way?” She was angry now. Not at Will, even though it was directed at him. Just angry at their situation at the lives that they lived.

“No pet. I can move here, my work, I can do it anywhere,” he sounded hopeful.

“So you’re nine month tour can be done here, can it?” She raised her eyebrows.

“No of course not, but after that, I can move here, set up a studio.” He moved towards her. He took her hand and placed it over his heart. “We can do this.”

“Can we? Nine months is a long time Will, longer on the road. You know that better than I.” She moved her hand and rubbed his cheek. “The problem is Will. It’s all or nothing with us. I don’t want pieces of you. I want it all. Don’t you think we owe each other that?” She had to stay strong.

“We can have it all love. It just will take some time.” He caught her hand and held it in his own. “Buffy please, we can make this work.”

She looked into his eyes. She wanted to believe him, believe in fairy tales and happily ever after. However, she could not. She moved away from his touch.

“One day Will, you will thank me for this.”

She did not here his cry of pain as he punched the locker in front of him.

AN: *ducks heavy objects* Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and supported this story. Hopefully you will stick around for the next chapter :)





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