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Disclaimer: Everyone should bloody well know by now that I don't own even a smidgen of the rights to these delicious characters. The creator of BTVS does which is fine and dandy.

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He had been pacing the floor of his crypt for so long, he was beginning to form a rut in the ground. So many emotions were hitting him all at once. Anger, bitterness, hatred. How did she do it? How did she always bollocks up everything he planned? Never failed; she was always one step ahead of him and he was growing exhausted from it all. He was a mastermind of evilness. Well, at least he used to be before he was turned into an enfeebled ponce. He growled.

He would finish what he started, be rid of the slayer once and for all. All she did was cause him pain and frustration. Having the damn chip in his head was holding him back. But there were ways around that, had to be. He was a master vampire, by gum. He could get the job done one way or the other, when she least expected it and by god what was he saying? He stopped dead in his tracks and let out an earth shattering roar to the heavens.

"See what you do to me, you silly bint?" He started pacing again, talking outload to no one in particular.

"I tried to explain, but no, she didn't want to listen. She had been so different, so kind, so nice. Of course, at the time she thought I was William, but, well, in a way I am. No, no I'm not. I'll never be *him* again. The poufter. But she liked him, I could tell. And," he stopped suddenly as if realizing something important. "And I told her I loved her."

Spike moaned and plopped down in his well worn chair, dust billowing and settling around him. He threw one leg over the arm and laid his head on the back of the seat cushion. His thoughts rambled on.

'She kissed me. Just walked right up to me and kissed me. Did she know who I was when she did that? Did she know what it would do to me?'

He lifted his head up and groaned again. "She's such a tease. Got me all worked up for what? Nothing but to kick me out of her house, out of her life."

His head drifted back down as he stared at the ceiling of his crypt. But oh, what a kiss it was. 'I have *never* felt *anything* like that in my whole entire existence.' He told himself, almost reassuringly. His eyes began to slowly drift close as all the previous evening's excitement waned. He wanted nothing but sweet, comforting, non-violent Buffy dreams to occupy his sleep. As well, he did.

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Buffy, on the other hand, did not sleep the sleep of the dead. She attributed it to the obnoxious blonde vampire, who she had kicked out of her house and supposedly out of her life only hours ago and who was still plaguing her mind. She recalled the look on his face when he had turned around on the porch and told her those 3 awful words. Awful because they came from his mouth, in his voice. Something she never expected to hear from that pernicious, blood sucking fiend. Ok, so maybe those words were a bit too harsh to describe Spike especially in the present state he was in. An irritating nuisance was more his speed nowadays.

Realization took hold and reminded her that he had been subservient lately, patrolling with her, fighting the baddies, even watching out for her little sister. Now her mind was guilt-ridden. And it was riddled with questions she herself could not answer. She suspected the warlock had a point. Maybe Spike was enjoying the family setting. He was actually good at acting like William when he wasn't really William. Was that all it was though, just an act? Or was it genuine?

Buffy rolled onto her back and pushed her fingers through her hair, groaning slightly. She had suddenly remembered she had never given him a chance to explain anything. She was her usual bitchy self and gave him the usual heave-ho right out the front door. And that was after the pleasurable lip lock routine she had planned ahead of time to tease and torture him with. Never expected it to have any effect on her whatsoever. Now she knew better. Now it was too late to take it back.

Her mind rambled on as she drifted off to slumber a few hours before daybreak.

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She was looking tired, the dark circles apparent under her eyes that she had tried her best to cover up before leaving the house. She strolled defiantly through the familiar graveyard and up to the door of his crypt, her backpack hanging loosely from her shoulders. She never wavered as she pushed the door aside letting in a stream of sunlight as she did so.

Spike propelled himself out of the chair and whirled around to see who had intruded his living quarters. That and he thought briefly that he might just want to move the sodden chair a bit farther away from the door, where it seemed he could easily get toasted if he fell asleep in it again.

Great! The Slayer. Just who he wanted to see right at this moment and him with a bloody crick in the neck to boot. He dropped his head and sighed loudly.

"What, love? Didn't finish telling me off enough last night? Come here to kick me out of my own crypt and send me on my way now? You know you have no bleeding right to just barge on in here. It's not your place."

"And neither is it yours. Its," her mind wandered to recall the name that was on the top of the mausoleum. "it's the Thompsons'."

"They're not living enough to enjoy it anymore so it's become a community dwelling. Besides, more than 50% of the stuff in here is mine, so, yes it is my place."

Buffy shut her eyes and sighed helplessly. "You know, Spike, as much as I'd like to chat about property assessments right now, it's not what my intentions were for coming here."

"Oh, do tell then, Miss high and mightiness of the goody-goodies." Spike chanted with a sarcastic tone.

Buffy stared at him in disbelief. She smirked and shook her head back and forth. "You know, what was I thinking? You're still the same annoying headache and you will never change. And here I thought I would give you the benefit of the doubt, even apologize for not giving you a chance to explain the circumstances of your lying to me. But I'm finished here. The law still stands Spike. Stay out of my sight."

She turned in a huff and walked towards the crypt door. Spike was stunned speechless. He took a step towards the retreating Slayer.

"Buffy?" he called her hoping she would stop. She did stop, but whirled around in disgust, pulling her backpack off in one swift movement.

"Here, I found this in the basement. I'm sure you'll want it back."

Spike's eyes widened and he gulped when he saw the familiar notebook in Buffy's hand. He suddenly became timid and slowly walked towards the proffered tablet. On a whim, she pulled it back and behind her. His outreached arm was left in midair as he glared at her.

"Buffy, please, may I have it back," he tried to sound polite, but it came out between gritted teeth.

"What's in it?" She asked, sounding curious.

"Nothing," his voice was void of any emotion as he lowered his arm back down to his side. Buffy noticed his hands were clenched and that he was getting upset. Why, she didn't know. She hadn't meant to tease him anymore.

"Are you sure? Cause I was sure there was some stuff written in here." She made to flip through the pages and noticed him move towards her quickly.

"Buffy, don't.----Please don't," the last words were barely a whisper.

She looked up at him and saw, what? Fear? Sadness? Embarrassment? She couldn't quite tell. She clutched the notebook to her tightly and took another step forward, standing only a few inches away from him now.

"I'll give it back to you if----if you read one of them."

Spike's mouth dropped open and he backpedaled a couple of steps, placing one hand on his hip, the other running through his already mussed hair as he turned away from her.

"You read it, didn't you?" he gruffily asked.

"Honestly? I read some of it." There was no teasing in her reply.

He couldn't stand there and take her honesty too well. Anger and bitterness rose up and choked him and he growled, grabbing a small table and throwing it up against the wall, shattering it into pieces. Buffy stared at him, non- plussed, allowing him some time to cool down.

"Are you finished? Because frankly, I'm not sure why you are in such an upheaval about it. It's really quite---nice. You write beautifully."

Spike slowly turned to look at her, disbelieving her remarks. But the look on her face told him otherwise. It astounded him. No one, not one person, human or demon, had told him such things. Not even Dru, who had been with him the longest. Of course no one really got the chance to read any of his works because he always had them hidden away in some secret, safe place.

"You---you think---you like them?" He was stuttering again, which he seemed to always do whenever the shyness appeared. He shook his head to try and clear his mind.

Buffy shook her head yes. "A couple of them even made me cry. Why do you seem so shocked?"

"I---I never let anyone read my poems. I---I'm not very good."

"Well, I know I'm no expert, but I think they are extraordinary. The emotions you put down on paper are so vivid. You wrote about someone, someone special to you it seemed like. I could tell---."

"Buffy, those were about you." There he did it. He let the cat out of the bag now. He felt like running into the dark corner and hiding his face from all, never to come back out. He looked away momentarily while she looked down at the book in her hand. She held it out to him one more time.

"Will you read the last one to me? I would really like to hear you read it." Buffy swore if he hadn't been a vampire, he would have blushed. He seemed flustered. She chuckled to herself. A Master vampire flustered.

A moment of silence passed, neither of them moving until Spike began to casually stroll towards her, reaching out and gently taking the notebook from her. He turned and walked to the sarcophagus and leaned against it while flipping through the pages, stopping on the very last one. He looked up at her once more before clearing his throat to read.

**"She's out of my grasp, out of my reach.

She dances in the darkness,

Twirling and swirling under the stars,

Playing with danger in the face of grace.

Dances in the dark all around me,

Yet she belongs to the light,

the blinding but comforting light.

So far from where I belong.

I am profoundly in awe

whilst left in my solitude knowing

She's out of my reach."

His voiced trailed off as he ended the reading. He hadn't noticed Buffy had moved from her standing position and was now seated across from him on the arm of his shabby chair. He slowly dropped his hands down and stole a quick glance at her but couldn't afford himself to stare at her for too long.

"That was---nice. Even better with you reading it. It had more meaning by you reading it. Thank you."

He released a breath he had been holding. "I'm sorry---sorry for lying, sorry for---for everything. I just---I don't know, I haven't felt like that in a long time. I realized how much I miss my family. Ever since they put this chip in my head, leashing this demon I carry, I've been so lost. Not knowing what to do, where to go. Buffy, will you believe me if I tell you I really want to help you?"

She looked away for a second before answering. "Yes, I think you do." She stood. "I think I know what you're wanting from me as well. It's undeniable that there were certain feelings stirred up recently. Will you understand if I tell you I'm not ready to have a second go at another unethical relationship at this time?"

Spike looked away sadly. She hurriedly continued. "I didn't say never. You've made me realize there is more to all this slaying business than good versus evil. You have more humanity in you than some humans I know. That's saying a lot. So, no, I'm not saying never. I just need time."

He smiled slightly as he turned to look back at her. "Yes, I do understand, and I can wait. It's not like I'm going anywhere, right? And here." He held his notebook out to her as she started to make her way out of the crypt.

"You take this. They were written for you, anyway. I want you to have it."

Buffy took it from him, staring at the royal blue cover a bit. "Thank you." She slid an arm around him, hugged him tenderly and placed a sweet kiss on his cheek before releasing her hold and walking towards the door.

"Patrol with me tonight?"

"You can count on me being there."

"I know I can."

She only opened the door slightly as to not let much sun in before leaving Spike alone to contemplate the turn of events. The future was looking bright indeed.

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**A/N2 Okeydokey, so I made a last minute decision to not have them jumping into each others arms exactly. They both know the feelings are there. But, if you want, and if I have enough responses, I can write a future epilogue. Maybe, say six months later or so? So you can see where the dynamic couple are in terms of their relationship. I will if you want!! Otherwise I will leave it to your imaginations.

Oh and I once again wrote the poem in this chapter. This time I had to think of how Spike would write. Hope it was good!





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