Author's Chapter Notes:
Thank you for all of the reviews! I'm glad people are enjoying the story so much, and I hope you continue to stick with me as the fic progresses!
As Buffy stepped into Spike’s bedroom, she felt butterflies begin to form in her stomach and swallowed hard, hoping to put herself at ease a little. Her nerves increased when Spike looked at her, noticing her worried expression.

“Pet, are you okay?” he asked, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

No. Yes. Maybe, she thought, managing a brave smile when he began to look concerned.

“I’m fine,” she answered, nodding slightly.

“We don’t have to do anything,” he replied, trying to ignore the feeling of insecurity that washed over him.

“No, I want to,” she said, walking closer to his bed. “Unless you’re having second thoughts…”

“Not at all, luv,” he said, grazing her cheek and kissing her softly. “I want this, too.”

“Then what’re we waiting for?” she asked, her tone light.

He smirked and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her body against his and pressing his lips to hers, pleased when her lips parted and allowed his tongue to meet hers, the kiss intensifying as she took a small step back, feeling the edge of his bed against her knees.

Spike broke the kiss as she ran her hands down his chest before she sat on his bed, looking up at him with a nervous expression.

“What’s wrong?” he asked quietly, running his hand over her hair.

“I’m just… scared,” she answered, looking down. “I haven’t slept with someone in a long time… Well, since Xander and I broke up-”

“Let’s try to avoid saying the whelp’s name, shall we?” he asked, tilting her chin up.

“He said I wasn’t good, that he was sleeping around because I didn’t satisfy him,” she murmured. “I don’t want to disappoint you, Spike.”

“That’s not possible, sweetheart,” he replied, crouching down in front of her. “I’m not going to judge you, and if anything, I’m going to disappoint you, not the other way around.”

“What makes you think that?” she asked, frowning.

“Dru said I was awful in bed,” he muttered, looking away.

“If we can’t talk about ‘the whelp’, then we can’t mention the bitch,” she replied, getting him to smile. “I don’t trust her judgment and neither should you.” She laid down, her head on his pillow. “Besides, I want to find out for myself exactly how good you are.”

“Yeah?” he asked, standing before he got on the bed, covering her body with his and holding himself up on his forearms.

“Show me what you’ve got,” she said, leaning up to kiss him.

When they broke apart to breathe, Buffy tugged on the hem of Spike’s shirt before pulling it off, her eyes beginning to study his naked upper body.

“Like what you see?” he asked in a low tone, groaning when she bent her knees up and cradled him between her thighs, his hardness pressing against her.

“So far,” she answered, unbuttoning his jeans and pouting when he brushed her hands away.

“I want to catch you up first,” he said, smirking when she took her shirt off and tossed it aside. “I thought I was going to do that.”

“Sorry, I’m impatient,” she replied, quickly unclasping her bra and discarding it before taking a deep breath when she saw the almost predatory look in his eyes.

“Absolutely beautiful,” he said, lowering his head to place soft kisses across her skin before taking one of her nipples into his mouth and gently tugging on it with his teeth.

“Spike,” she whispered, grasping his shoulders and tilting her head back, reveling in the feel of his tongue lightly sweeping across her nipple.

“Like this?” he asked, repeating his actions on her other nipple.

“Yes,” she answered, opening her eyes and looking at him. “It feels amazing.”

“It’ll feel even better soon,” he said, gingerly lowering the zipper of her pants before pushing them down her hips and legs, watching as her tan legs were revealed to him.

“Your turn,” she replied, smiling when he finally allowed her to unbutton his jeans, both working together to take them off.

When Buffy saw his fully nude body, her eyes widened, studying how perfect he was.

“Something catch your eye, baby?” he asked, beginning to slide her thong down her slim legs. “Christ, you’re magnificent.”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” she replied, watching as he leaned over to his bedside table and opened a drawer, extracting a small silver wrapper.

“Are you sure about this, pet?” he asked, surprised when she took the package from him and opened it, taking out the condom and slowly rolling it down his erection.

Spike clenched his jaw as he felt her warm fingers touch his manhood, nuzzling his face into her neck in an attempt to abstain from making a fool of himself and coming early.

“Slow down, baby,” he said in a strained voice, looking at her with wide eyes when she guided his erection to her center.

“Please, Spike,” she said, wrapping her legs around his waist as he began to move inside of her.

Spike nearly lost control as he fully sheathed himself inside of her, feeling her tight muscles squeeze his shaft.

“Buffy,” he whispered, kissing her as he began to rock his hips against hers.

“Don’t stop,” she replied, moaning when he pulled back and thrust into her again.

They began moving together, each working towards their releases while trying to give the other as much pleasure as possible. It was as Buffy’s body began to tremble and her inner walls clamped down on him that Spike began pumping faster, spilling himself inside of the condom as he climaxed.

Spike looked down into Buffy’s eyes and raised an eyebrow when he saw a tear escape one of her eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, concerned. “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” she answered, wrapping her arms around his neck. “It was perfect.”

“Yeah, it really was,” he replied, kissing her and hoping that he was conveying how he felt about her without vocalizing it.

The last thing I want to do is scare her off, he thought. But I think I’m falling in love with her, and I hope she feels the same way I do.

* * * * *

An hour later, Buffy awoke from her nap and tensed up as she remembered what she and Spike had done. She looked beside her and saw that he was still asleep, a small smile on his lips.

What did I do? she asked herself, her eyes beginning to water. He and I shouldn’t have… We weren’t ready to…

She carefully got out of bed and began to get dressed, and before she knew it, her bags were packed and were waiting by his door. Buffy wrote a quick note to him and put it on her pillow before taking one last look at him, whispering an apology, and letting herself out of his flat.

Minutes later, Buffy was in a cab, on her way to the airport. She began to wring her hands nervously, knowing that Spike would be angry with her but hoped that he would understand why she had left.

I didn’t use him, she thought, trying to collect her thoughts. I care about him, but it won’t work. He’s here, I’m in California, and we’re living two very different lives.

Meanwhile, Spike woke up and slowly opened his eyes, the blood draining from his face as he saw Buffy’s side of the bed empty and her clothes no longer on the floor. His eyes widened when he saw the note she had left him, his hand quickly snatching it and opening it up.

After he finished reading it, he put the note down and tried to hold the tears that were forming in his eyes at bay.

She’s gone, he thought, clenching his fists as anger began to course through him. But if she thinks it’s over because she left, then she’s bloody wrong.





A/N: You’ll soon find out why I chose the title of this fic. If you thought it was because Buffy went to London to meet up with Spike, you were only partially right ;)





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