The next day Buffy awoke with a start to the sound of her incredibly noisy alarm clock. She reached her hand over to push the snooze button, but as she did a song started that caught her attention.
Are you aware of what
You make me feel, baby
Right now I feel invisible to you
Like I'm not real
Didn't you feel me lock my
Arms around you
Why'd you turn away?
Here’s what I have to say
Buffy rolled over on her side, causing the sheets to twist around her slender hips.
I was left there to cry
Nothing outside there
Grinning with a lot of store
That’s when I decided.....
Why should I care?
Cause you weren't there
When I was scared
I was so alone
You need to listen
I'm starting to trip
I'm losing my grip
Buffy couldn't understand why Spike couldn't be with her. She knew Spike had a duty, but it wasn't fair. Kiara was with Spike for just a year when he proposed to her. But it wasn’t like it mattered. It would be all over soon, as the wedding was in only a month and a half.
Am I just some chick
You placed beside you
To take somebody’s place
When you turn around
Do you recognize my face
You used to love me
You used to hug me
She knew the song had a meaning but couldn't quite find it.
"Buffy, sweetie, are you ready?" Tara asked as she stepped through her door and closed it lightly.
Buffy finally let the tears fall, and buried her head farther into the pillows. Alarmed, Tara quickly ran to Buffy to calm her.
"Buffy, what’s wrong?" Tara asked, not understanding what had been going on with Buffy at all for the past few months.
Buffy finally turned her head to look at Tara, and promised quietly, "I'll tell you at the shop."
*****************************************************************
"Spike, I'm going to the shop to get my hair done. Will you go with me?" Kiara perched herself on his lap as he read the morning paper and drank his coffee.
Spike looked up, and seeing her pouty lip made it impossible for him to resist. "Yes, baby, I'll go with you to the shop."
Kiara jumped up and clapped her hands happily while running to the car.
***************************************************************************
Buffy and Tara walked into the shop, Channel One O One. She bought the shop after she graduated college, as it was her mom’s dream and Buffy wasn't one to disappoint.
"Hey, Buffy, I'm here for the nine' o clock." Kiara said as she grasped Spike's hand tightly.
Buffy nodded her head as she opened the door to let them through, but Spike had better ideas.
"Kiara, love, you go on without me I'll be back in a second." Spike said as he let go of her hand.
She left Spike not thinking anything of it, and Buffy tried to follow her but Spike grabbed her by the upper arm and pulled her back out. Concerned, he asked softly, "Buffy, are you okay?"
Buffy avoided looking at him, knowing the minute she did she would break down. Letting her guard slip now was not an option. No way would he get to see her weak after all this time that she’d held her head high.
"Dose it really matter to you Spike?" Buffy asked, finally looking at him to shoot a furious glare his way.
Spike looked down knowing that what happened yesterday wasn’t going to go away, and he hated it.
"Yes, Buffy, as much as you think I don't care, I really do, and I'm going to prove it to you just tell me how." Spike pleaded as he looked deep into her eyes seeing unleashed glossy tears.
"Leave her." Buffy said, though she knew it wouldn't happen.
Spike finally let go of her upper arm and took her hands in his. "Buffy, I know it hurts you to see me and her together, but I made a promise to her the minute I put that ring on her finger."
Buffy flinched and tried to turn away but Spike wouldn't budge. "I really wish I hadn’t, love. I hate it, I hate hurting you, and I hate hurting her. I want to be with you so much, but--"
Spike was cut short as Anya came out of the shop, announcing abruptly, "Buffy, they need you in here, Kiara is bitching again and is tired of waiting."
Buffy smiled even though she was still upset, but knowing she got Spike to open up to her made her feel a little better. "I'll be right there in a minute, I promise."
Anya rolled her eyes but returned to the cash register.
"Can we talk about this later? I'm not mad, Spike, just disappointed. Which isn't that bad.. it could be worse, I could hate you right now." Buffy smiled teasingly at him. "But, I don't. I still have lots of love for you."
Spike let go of her hand and said, "Can I come by your house later? Not to do anything, pet, I promise. I just wanna hold you for a while and pretend like everything is okay?"
Buffy grabbed his hand and said with a smile, "Of course. I can’t wait.”
Spike chuckled, and walked back inside with Buffy.
"It's about freakin time, what the hell were you guys talking about?" Kiara asked as Cordy finished doing her nails.
"Buffy invited me over for dinner." Spike said to Kiara with a shrug.
Kiara's smile widened as she asked, "Oh, good idea. We all could go, it would be fun! Especially since I'm leaving tomorrow for New York.”
Buffy’s good mood disappeared. She wanted Spike to herself for a few hours, and now she had share him with Kiara.
"Yeah, that would be great! " Buffy said, forcing enthusiasm.
Kiara nodded and went back to admiring her nails.
Buffy noticed Tara doing someone’s hair, and walked over to her, asking, "Hey, Tara, when you get the chance can I talk to you?"
Tara looked up at Buffy and said, "Sure, sweetie, I'm done for now.”
Buffy followed Tara over to the hair supply table, and in hushed tones admitted to everything.
"Wow, Buffy, I had no idea." Tara said, trying to hide how shocked she was.
"I'm terrible huh?" Buffy whimpered, starting to cry. "Look what I'm doing to my own cousin! She’s family and I don't even feel an ounce guilty."
Suddenly Tara started laughing, and Buffy demanded angrily, "How can you laugh at me?"
Tara stopped laughing for a minute and explained, "I'm sorry, honey, but why should you feel guilty after all she’s put you through? If anything, she deserves it."
Remembering how Kiara had treated her for years on end, Buffy realized Tara was right. Putting her hands on her hips, she said proudly, "Yeah, you're right. She does deserve it. I shouldn't feel bad at all."
Unfortunately she said it just as Spike sat down beside her. Tara's eyes turned to saucers, as she prayed he hadn’t heard it.
"Who should feel bad love?" Spike asked, looking from Buffy to Tara curiously.
Buffy froze. The words wouldn’t seem to come, so Tara quickly came to the rescue. "The lady that just left, she was supposed to have blonde hair but Buffy made it red."
Spike rolled his eyes and said sarcastically, "Harsh, love, very harsh."
Buffy just nodded and smiled weakly at him.
"Spike, I'm ready to go." Kiara blew on her nails. "I changed my mind about my hair, it’s fine as it is.”
With an obviously fake smile, Kiara walked over to Buffy and sat down next to her. "Buffy, I have to tell you something it's been on my mind forever so..."
Buffy rolled her eyes and muttered, "Out with it Kiara."
Kiara grabbed a piece of Buffy's hair and frowned. "Your hair is awful Buffy, you looked better with brown hair. Since you’re the hairdresser I figured you’d turn out better, but sweetie, blonde is so not your color. Please.. don't show up to my wedding like that."
Kiara smirked as Buffy’s jaw dropped, as Spike gritted his teeth, trying to stay calm and not scream at her for being so cruel.
"Come, on Spike. We have a date with the wedding planner." Kiara said and started out of the shop.
Spike hugged Buffy quickly and whispered, "I'll make an excuse to come by later."
Buffy forced a smile and murmured, "Okay,"
"SPIKE!" Kiara yelled.
"Bloody hell, I'm coming!" Spike shouted, clenching his fists at his sides in frustration.
*********************************************************************************
"He so wants you Buff," Cordy said while finishing up her next client.
Willow giggled. "You can say that again.
Noticing Tara looked seriously pissed off, Willow took her girlfriend’s hand and asked, "What’s wrong, honey?”
"That stupid bitch has no right to talk to Buffy like that." Tara hissed, shaking her head angrily. "I mean, she’s the one who looks like shit.”
Cordy laughed and said, "You’ve just got to ignore her, she’s not worth your time." Looking at Bufffy pointedly, she added, “Someone should be tellin you that.”
"I’ve learnt how to deal after all this time. Before i would have lost it if she said that... I suppose I’m used to it now." Buffy sighed.
Anya walked over and asked with a smile, "Buffy, do you care if i use the closet for a second?"
"Umm, sure." Buffy said slowly, totally confused.
"Good, now I just have to get Xander over here." Anya ran to the phone, and excited look on her face.
Cordy grabbed her chair pillow and threw it at Anya, laughing as Anya retorted, "What? A girl’s got needs."
Willow giggled and teased, "Yeah, and your needs are about every twenty minutes, right?"
Buffy spoke up and said quickly, "Anya, please don't even answer that.”
Everyone laughed as they listened to Anya trying to get Xander, her sex poodle, over to the shop’s broom closet.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to the people who reviewed last chapter I'm glad you liked it. And I really hope you like this chapter. To let yall know I made Tara more tougher then what most people would make her.... Thanks to my beta Enchantress...(Shes the best)