Author's Chapter Notes:
Don't worry, the good part is coming next chapter!
Buffy pulled her hair back in a clip and surveyed her wardrobe once more. It was Saturday night, and she was on her way to the annual party at the Bronze for their opening anniversary. She smoothed out her pants and shirt as she caught the twinkle in her eyes.

She knew that it was because of Spike and the looks they had passed each other throughout the end of the week. She couldn’t help but smile at the thought of him and his feelings for her.

Her mind rushed back to that hot summer day when Spike had admitted the feelings of his heart to her. They were alone in Weatherly Park, waiting for one of Angel’s baseball games to end. Spike was slowly pushing Buffyon the tire swing as they talked and laughed together. They held in their laughter as Dawn hurried up to them.

“The game’s over. Angel is looking for you, Buffy.” Dawn met them at the swing and walked with them back.

“Spike are you going home, or are you going to hang around all over Buffy like you usually do?” she teased. Spike laughed, and Buffy couldn’t help but stare at her younger friend’s bluntness.

“Can I help it if I’m in love with her?” he asked. Buffy stared at Spike in disbelief, and he passed her a smile, acting like nothing had just happened.

Her mind was brought back to present day when Joyce called up the stairs. “Buffy, Spike is here with your ride.”

Buffy took one last look in the mirror before starting down the stairs. She saw Spike standing at the bottom talking casually with her mother. She couldn’t help but smile as her heart skipped a beat as she paused on the stairs to watch him.

His movements were graceful and everything she noticed about him seemed compassionate. His slight touch on Joyce’s arm when she spoke, the way he actually looked at her when she spoke, and even the way he stood seemed to reflect his personality. Buffy had never noticed that with anyone before.

“Buffy are you all right?” Joyce asked as she studied her young daughter. Buffy slightly shook herself out of her daze and continued down the stairs. “I’m fine. Are you ready?” she asked Spike.

When he had seen Buffy on the stairs, Spike had lost his breath at her beauty. She seemed to leave him breathless anytime he saw her. He remembered to breath again whe he noticed everyone staring at him awaiting an answer.

“I’m ready. Let’s go, pet. I don’t want to miss anything,” he said as he put his hand lightly on her shoulder. Buffy shuddered as she felt his small touch. Her body ached to feel his hands runall over her body, but she quickly dismissed the thoughts and opened the door.

“Bye, Mom. I’ll see you later tonight,” she departed. Joyce wathced them exit the house and make their way to Spike’s Desato. “You two try not to have too much fun,” she said in a laugh as she closed the door.

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Spike and Buffy entered the Broze to be welcomed by the loud screaming coming from the band on stage at the time. Buffy noticed that it wasn’t the Dingoes, and she saw an angry Oz sitting in sitting in the corner.

They pushed their way through the crowd and finally found Xander and Willow. “Hey guys. So how is the party this year?” Buffy asked upon her arrival. She pulled up a seat around the table to join the group when Anya, Oz, and Riley walked up.

“They’ve got good food but lousy bands,” he added with Anya’s diry look. “Thanks, Xander.” Oz grumbled. “But you don’t have to lie for me.” Oz sulked away from the table looking for an escape.

“Poor guy,” Willow sympathized. Anya shrugged. “I give up trying to help him on this one. He’s on his own. So Bufy, where is Angel?”

Spike shot a look at Buffy whom he had been watching out of the corner of his eye. He had waited for an answer to their situation all week, but Buffy was apparently having difficulty choosing or trying not to make the wrong decision. He had noticed her watching him in class at the end of the week, and he had thought that maybe she had made up her mind, but he guessed she was just basking in the glow of new love. He wanted her so badly to have all for himself, but he knew that he had to wait or else he might lose her forever.

“Angel had to watch Connor for a little while until his Mom got home. He’ll be here soon,” she answered her. The gang all talked and joked for what seemed like hours until the smell of the food startedto reach their noses.

“Buff, do you want me to go get you something?” Spike offered softly as she watched a plate of food float by. “I’ll get it Spike,” Angel said as he walked up to the assembly. “You don’t have to waste your time.” Buffy smiled and leaned into him as he planted a soft kiss on her lips.

Spike’s eyes narrowed, and he cleched his jaw and felt his fists tighten. Angel walked towards the food. “But I would love to,” he said to himself sadly as he watched his girl stare after Angel.

“Yo, Spike. What’s happening?” Faith asked as she put her arm around him. Faith was a senior at Sunnydale High, who always hung on all of the guys. She flirted with everyone and never made a serious commitment. Spike saw a frown on Buffy’s face, and he noted the jealous look that crossed it. “Nothing much, Faithy. How are you?”

Faith puckered her lips and responded. “Five by five. You wanna go dance?” Spike stole one last look at Buffy. He thought he saw her eyes pleading with him not to go, but at the moment he was too mad at her and Angel to care.

“Sure, Faith. I’ll go dance with you.” He left with Faith arm in arm to the dance floor. Buffy frowned at him as Angel returned with her chips. “Here’s your food, Cutie.” Buffy smiled at his nickname for her and wiggled closer to him.

If Spike wants to play that way, then so be it, she thought with pain in her heart. She smashed her lips onto Angel’s before putting a chip in her mouth. “Thanks, Babe.” She added with a smile.

Angel watched her lips as she spoke to him, and he couldn’t help but notice her pink tongue slip out of her mouth as she pulled the chip in. He grinned and put his arm around her. He pulled her closer and began running his fingers along her side, hoping for the best by the end of the night.

Buffy picked up on Angel’s attempts at trying to get her playful, and she decided to play along for once and not fight it. She missed the flirting in their relationship, and with Spike ignoring her, she thought she’d try to get it back.

Willow watched Buffy and Angel as they snuggled closer together with each passing second. She spotted Spike on the dance floor pressing himself even further into Faith. She sighed deeply with disappointment.

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Spike and Faith had returned from the dance floor. Xander, Angel, and Spike had made their way to the food talking about the recent basketball games. Faith quickly left them for some other guy to dance with, and the others were out dancing as well. That had left Buffy and Willow alone at the table.

“Hey Willow, does Spike seem kind of distant to you tonight?” Buffy asked her quietly as she leaned in. Willow stared at her waiting for the rest of it.

“Well, not really to you, but does he seem distant towards me? Did I do something wrong, or is he just fed up with the whole thing?”

“I don’t know, Buff.” Willow murmured. “Maybe you should just ask him about it. I know that you guys aren’t in the best of situations right now.”

Buffy waited a beat. “I guess you’re right, Will. Thank you so much for everything. You are my best friend in the world, and I owe so much to you.” Willow smiled at her best friend. She knew that everything had to eventually turn out right, no matter how much time Buffy needed.

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Buffy stood outside the door of the Bronze and waited for Spike. He had been ignoring her the whole night, and Buffy was starting to get frustrated by it. When Buffy heard someone open the door, she turned to face Spike, Riley, and Oz who were all overcome with smiles and laughter.

Spike’s smile disappeared, and he looked pass her and kept going. “Spike,” she called out. He slowly stopped and turned to face her. “Guys, I’ll meet up with you later,” he dismissed them. Riley and Oz said their goodbyes and continued walking down the street.

“What?” he asked somewhat hatefully. Tears filled Buffy’s eyes as she felt his anger hit her like a ton of bricks. Spike saw the water filling her eyes and all of his anger melted instantly.

“Did I do something to make you mad at me?” she questioned shakily. His mind flashed back to Angel and Buffy with their arms wrapped around each other, and the hatred returned.

“Of course not, pet,” he said sarcastically. “Why would I be upset over you and nancy boy with your hands all over each other?”

Before Buffy could answer he continued. “Of course I’m upset!” he shouted to her. “You know how I feel every time I see you with him. I feel like I’m being ripped up inside and that part of me is dying, especially after you told me how you feel. But even still, you go and get all cuddly with him right in front of me like it’s no big deal.”

The tears started to fall from Buffy’s eyes as Spike continued to yell. He stopped when her heard her sniffle. “Spike, the only reason I was like that tonight is because you were all over Faith. I had so much jealousy run through me, and you aren’t even real friends with her. I know how you feel, because I feel the same way with you. I just have to make sure I’ll be doing the best thing for me if I decide to be with you.”

Spike watched her crying and explaining her actions, and his heart swelled with emotions. Buffy lowered her voice and stepped closer to Spike.

“I know that you don’t think that anyone could love me as much as you do, but Angel does. I love him too, but I just don’t know who’s the right one. I feel complete when I’m with you, but part of me is afraid that if I leave Angel, I’ll be missing another part, and I don’t want to be incomplete. I want the whole me, all of me, to give.”

Spike sighed and put his arm on Buffy. She closed her eyes and wiped away the last of her tears. “I’m sorry, luv,” Spike said easily. He gently squeezed her shoulder. “I understand. I’ll wait no matter how long it takes, because if the result is you, it’ll be well worth it.”

Buffy smiled and laughed as Spike led her back to the party. “Now let’s go inside and have actual fun tonight and promise each other that it will be the real us there, and not the us because of anyone else.”

Buffy smiled. She perfecty understood what Spike meant. She opened the door and agreed to have the fun that she deserved.





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