Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters except for Mia, Bryan, Daniel, and Cassandra. Joss Whedon owns all of the others.
Chapter 4: Stress

I could tell she was wondering how long I’d been standing there by the doorway. Slayer must’ve been very preoccupied if she hadn’t sensed me. I smirked at her, and she shot a deadly look back at me.

Well, well, well… if looks were as sharp as stakes, I’d be dusted for certain. I was surprised, I’ll admit, when she stopped attempting to stake me with her eyes and actually scrutinized me. I didn’t really have any further time to think about it, though, when the Whelp rushed at me. What the…?

A part of me screamed at the foreign object lodged in my cranium that stopped me from blocking his attack. The rest of me took over and dodged like I used to. Hell, even though I wasn’t really expecting it, I was still fast enough. Angelus hadn’t meant to, but he’d trained me well. Pain, pain, and more pain made a good student.

The Whelp crashed into the wall behind me and crumpled to the ground, but he still got up again and rushed me again. Bloody hell, I swear that humans are not supposed to recover so damned quickly! But the Slayer was already there to stop him.

“Xander!”

He looked awfully surprised. I got to admit, I was too. Then again, I did have information… “Buffy, you just told us that he’s working for Adam. And you’re letting him live?”

Come on, did you expect me to let him make a mistake that I could correct? “Um, still dead, last time I checked.”

“Shut up!” he turned back to the Slayer. “Come on, let me stake him good and proper.”

Now that got me. I’d have liked to see the clumsy idiot try. “As if you could,” I scoffed.

“Shut up, Fangboy! I mean…”

Fangboy? Fangboy! I would’ve choked on that one if I was still alive. Who’d the Whelp think he was talking about?

“Xander, he’s got information. Valuable information,” the Watcher reminded him.

“Yeah,” I smirked, ducking behind the Slayer just in case the Whelp had a stake handy. “So you can’t kill me.”

This time all of the ruddy Scoobies glowered at me before they continued their little argument.

“Shut up!”

“Look, Xander, he’s just going to help us.”

Wow, I guess I should feel honoured, I thought sarcastically. The Slayer’s sticking up for me. Who’d have thought? Of course, the only reason she’s sticking up for me is because she needs me at the moment, but y’know…

“And how do you know this information?” the Whelp turned on me, ever doubting. “How do we know it’s real?”

“Because I can prove…”

Before I could finish, the Watcher cut me off. “That is a good question,” he looked at me, and I could almost feel those damned eyes staking me just like his Slayer had. Bloody hell, what was with these people and eye-staking? “How can we trust you? Especially after that little trick you pulled on us.”

“Look, you…”

“Yeah,” Red spoke up. “How are we supposed to listen to what you say now?”

“Well, you see…” I tried again, but this time it was the Slayer who interrupted me.

“She’s got a point,” the Slayer glared at me again. I was beginning to get awfully tired of that glare. “In case you haven’t noticed, Spike, you’re in a room with four people who can all very easily, and with great reason, kill you. Talk. Now. You’ve had your little sleep…”

“I would, but…”

“Whoah, hang on a second. He slept here!”

“Will you just…!” Okay, now I was getting really pissed off.

“It was my mum’s fault. He came in here and…”

I couldn’t keep it in any longer. Come on, who can blame a guy? I’d been standing there for the last five minutes, and none of them would let me talk!
“Bloody hell! Will you all shut up and listen to me!”

The Slayer glared at me again. I felt very, very tempted to tell her I could only take so many eye stakings. “Fine. Talk. Now.”

“Well I would, but all of you seem damned intent on cuttin’ me off every single time I start! So can I talk now!”

I received four bloody identical eye stakings. I wouldn’t even be normal dust at this rate. More like super concentrated molecules...

“Oh bloody hell,” I swore again. –Okay, have to calm down.-

”Adam came to me a couple of weeks ago and said he needed my help. He said that if I gave him what he wanted, he’d get this chip out of my cranium.”

“I knew it!” the Whelp cried. “You were planning to murder us all in our sleep!”

“Well, yeah?” Finally! It was my turn in this little game. I gave him a good one. “What of it? Hello? I’m evil, dammit! The Big Bad?”

Before he could reply, his last words hit me. Instantly, I felt wounded at his assumptions. “ ‘Sides, I wasn’t going to kill you in your sleep,” I snorted. “Would have been no fun.”

“Will you two get back on topic?” the Slayer demanded. “What did Adam want you to do?”

“You’ve already figured it out,” I pointed at her. “He wanted me to split you up, and get you where he wanted you to be when everything started. He also wanted me to give you those disks. Said that they would tell you what his plan was.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” the Watcher frowned. “Why would Adam want us to know his plan?”

“You’ll understand,” I said tiredly. Seemed like the little nap o’ mine had only taken the edge of my exhaustion. Stupid sleep. All I wanted to do was collapse on the spot and sleep for another century, but I knew that when I woke up, I’d either be dust or faced by a very brassed off Slayer. So I forced away the damned cloudy things that were beginning to cover my eyes. “Well, Red? Have they decrypted yet?”

“No… I haven’t had a look at them since this morning. I was still trying to figure it out. I think it has something to do with a hexagonic key code…”

“Whatever. It’s not important. It should be decrypting itself around…” I looked at my watch and grinned half-heartedly. “Now.”

“What do you mean?” the Whelp asked, puzzled. “What, is it programmed to self-decrypt?”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying,” I rolled my eyes. Geez, did he need me to spell it out for him? “Do me a favour, Red, and set up your laptop.”

“How did you know I’ve got my laptop here?”

“I saw it outside in the hallway. Now will you just go and get it?” I never was that patient.

“Hang on a sec, Fangboy. We still haven’t cleared up why you’re helping us, when you so aptly pointed out before that you wanted to kill us.”

I felt all four pairs of eyes return to me accusingly. Bloody hell. I sighed, loudly, to portray my point. -I might as well…. Get the embarrassment over and done with.-

“I overheard some of his sidekicks talking,” I sniffed. I scowled at them as they appeared to fight the giggles. “What?” I demanded.

“You sound like Giles,” Red giggled.

I glared at her, and then continued. “Turns out that the walking Frankenstein was going to remove my chip… and my head along with it.”

The Slayer burst out laughing with the rest of them, and before I could stop myself, my insides twisted in hideous knots as I heard the familiar mocking tone in them. No-one seemed to notice when I shrunk back into a corner, automatically trying to hide. Over a century as one-fourth of the Scourge of Europe and what I suffered at the hands of Angelus would never erase that sickening, nauseous feeling that swamped me every time someone laughed at me like that. I'd gotten used to it with Angelus, Darla, and even my Dru, sometimes. My black goddess... even she'd laughed at me like that, sometimes. I consoled myself, thinking they were like that with everyone. Still hurt, though.

Actually, I was surprised I was reacting so badly to this. Normally, I threw back some cocky comment, smirked, or took out all of my hurt and anger on their dead body. Anything besides shrivelling up like I was now.

And I wasn't even capable of killing them all, now.All I could do was shrink in my corner, helpless, and wish that those glares everyone had been giving me had actually dusted me. I'm pathetic. Absolutely, utterly, pathetic. Make fun o' me, and if I care about your opinion, I'm dead. I'm deader than I already am. It just brings me right back to William, the Bloody Awful Poet.

I was surprised that I felt so strongly about the Scoobies' opinions. Who was I kidding? In fact, why was I reacting so badly? Big bad... big bad.. big bad... big bad... yeah, I was the big bad... big bad...

The words slowly brought me back to the reality. They were still laughing at me, but as I came back, the
Slayer broke off, and choked, “Poetic justice, anyone?” sending them all back into gales of laughter.

Later, I wondered why it was really so funny.

Anyway, those three simple words crushed me further into the dirt, just like three other words had crushed me a million times over my life and unlife. If it was possible, I felt even sicker. Eventually, the soddin' Scoobies’ laughter died down, and I finally registered that they were looking at me strangely, wondering what I was doing.

Somehow, I managed to speak, but the words came out more as a funny growl. “Not funny, Slayer.”

“Oh, I’m finding it rather amusing, Anyone else?”

I swallowed, and then forced an irritated look onto my face. “Look, we can play Laugh-at-Spike later, okay? Red, can you show them?”

“Sure thing,” she already had the laptop set up and on the table. I wasn’t the only one waiting impatiently as she typed in her password. I just wanted anything to distract me now from the mocking laughter still ringing in my ears. When she finally opened up the document, it was in the process of decrypting itself. She uttered an indignant snort.

“That is so not fair! I had it, I really did. It’s… it’s like when you’ve got the answer to a riddle or something, and someone just blurts it out!”

I wasn’t the only one who glanced at her, and she blushed slightly. She looked kinda cute when she did that… “I mean… Yippee! We’ve got the information.”

The Slayer was already scanning the document though. “Well… it says a bunch of stuff about 314 that we already knew, but also something about…”

“A Final Phase,” Red finished for her. “Something about Adam creating a race of cyber-demonoids. And a secret lab inside the Initiative. It doesn’t say where, though.”

Questioningly, they looked at me. I nodded. The feeling that I was going to vomit had already started to ebb away.

“Yeah. You probably don’t know much about it, but the Initiative’s overflowing. They’ve got three demons to a cell.”

“No, I’ve noticed it,” the Slayer replied, her eyes still scanning the screen. “Not as many nasty things I’ve had to kill while out on patrol. Riley told me the containment cells were flooded as well. Man, I’ve got to give this demon his do. He really thought this one out.”

“What do you mean?”

I answered. “Think about all those nice… what do you call them?” –Good old mental blanks…- “Ah, yes. Think about all those nice commando people runnin’ around in there. And the Demons. What if they could attack from the inside? What do you get, then, when you have ‘em all together?”

“Demons versus Soldiers,” the Whelp realized. “Massacre, massacre.”

“And a nice pile of body parts for Adam to use,” Red commented.

“Hit the nail on the head, you two.”

“Diabolical, and yet, really gross.”

“Does anyone else miss the Mayor?” the Whelp asked. “ ‘I just want to be a big snake’ ?”

“What’s this about a big snake?” I asked, interested. As usual, they ignored me when I wasn’t spouting out information or trying to kill them. Or just annoying the hell out of them…

“But I still don’t get why he would want Buffy to know,” the Watcher was squinting at the computer. “It doesn’t make sense.”

“Oh, it makes perfect sense, Watcher,” I disagreed.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he queried.

The Slayer cut me off before I could answer. “He wants me to know about his bad guy assembly line. He obviously wants me to go down there into the battlefield and stop it. Add the Slayer into Spike’s little equation. A lot more dead people and demons and body parts. Plus some choice body parts of my own… God, do you know how ewww that is?”

“It could be just me, but I don’t think hybrid Frankenstein guy is really going to care about the ‘ewww’ factor.”

“Stating the obvious much, Whelp?” I muttered.

“Shut up, Fangboy. But seriously, isn’t he worried that Buffy might kill, say, him?”

“No,” the Slayer murmured. “He’s really not.”

“Obviously,” I snorted. “He is one hell of a powerful guy, you know.”

“Shut up, Fangboy.”

“Oh come on, have a bit of originality, Whelp,” I prodded him, smirking. Well, well, I was feeling better already. “That’s exactly what you said two seconds ago.”

“Fine. Shut up, Deadboy Junior.”

-Deadboy Junior? Deadboy Junior! Deadboy? The Poof- “Hey, I am not…”

“Honestly, people, you’re all acting like children.”

I glared incredulously at the Watcher. Humph, glares all round today. I could tell he was trying not to smile, and ‘cos he was British, he was doing a fairly good job. “Yes, you included for all that you’re a century older than most of us. Buffy said something about a plan, and you said you had one. Would you care to enlighten us?”

I took a deep breath. This was it. If they didn’t like what me and my brain had concocted, I’d probably be dust. “Right. Sure. Got it. Let’s sit down.”

The things in my stomach weren’t butterflies. Really they weren’t. Big Bads didn’t have butterflies in their undead stomachs. They had… I dunno, actually.
They sat, rather warily, I noticed, but I didn’t. Instead, I paced around with characteristic energy overload. I had an incredible itching to go out and kill something to calm myself down.

Despite the blood the Slayer had brought me, my demon was itching for more. I ground my teeth and dug my nails into my skin. As the blood welled up, I could feel it retreat, mollified only for the moment.
I could feel their eyes watching me again, all gradually becoming annoyed.

Just before the Slayer opened her mouth, probably to demand answers, I found my voice and started spewing out words so fast they probably could barely understand me.

“Look, I know that you’re not going to like this, but the only way Adam is going to start his plan is if he sees the Slayer in there. Otherwise he’s just going to sit tight and wait until she comes. He’s bloody stubborn like that, you know.”

“Sounds like a certain peroxided vamp who happens to be standing right in front of us,” the Whelp muttered.

“Shut up, Whelp. I know you’re not going to like this, but Slayer, you’re going to have to go in.”

Even as the Watcher, Red, and the Whelp started protesting, I was surprised to see that she was nodding her head. “I thought as much. He seems to have a rather one-tracked mind, sometimes.”

“Talk about it,” I scowled. “Anyway, Red, here’s another disk for you to shove in your lil’ comp.”

She eyed it suspiciously, then replaced the other one. “What’s in it?” she asked as she opened it.

“The stuff I got when I hacked into the Initiative,” I explained, proudly. As a minor hacker, I hadn’t thought that I’d be able to do it. Took me long enough, though.As top secret as the Initiative was, they'd left a couple of loopholes... because they'd tried to protect it too much. Ironic, eh? “There’s a plan.”

The blueprint of the thing flashed up onto her screen, and I took a brief second to marvel at the resolution before moving on to what I was going to explain. “ ‘Kay, d’you see the electrical conduits?”

“Yep,” they all chorused. Except for the Watcher, of course.

I stabbed my finger at the ones that I’d studied. “See these? They look like they’re headed to nowhere. A place right behind 314. I’m bettin’ you all the smokes in the world that that’s the secret lab. Adam’s lab. The one for the Final Phase. That’s where he’s gonna be. Incidentally, that’s where dear Captain Cardboard is, too.”

I immediately regretted that last sentence when the Slayer slammed me up against the closest wall available. “What!” she demanded, shaking me. Damn, her little hands were strong. “Riley’s in there!”

“Calm down, Slayer,” I half-choked. “Adam’s not going to kill him.”

She released me, and I spent a couple of moments rubbing my throat and gasping for no apparent reason. Habit, I guess. “Bloody hell, Slayer! If you want me to talk, you’re gonna have to stop trying to kill me.”

She looked at me, her face unreadable. I was almost glad. If her face hadn’t been, I knew the look of absolute contempt that would’ve been on them. I knew it intimately. “If I wanted to dust you, you’d already be dusted.”

“He’s right, you know,” the Watcher coughed slightly, as if he was ashamed about sticking up for me. Again, I was surprised, until I heard his next sentence. “If we’re going to get information out of him, you’re going to have to restrain yourself.”

I sneered bitterly, surprising myself. Why should I care, after all? But then, it hurt if someone thought you were nothing. No matter who they were. “Thanks, Watcher,” I said sarcastically. “As I was saying, that’s his base where he makes all his lil’ demon/human guys. If he’s not there, he’s going to be in the caves at the back. They join.”

“So how are we going to get in there?”

I eyed her with a steady look. “Now, don’t stake me when I say this, Slayer. I’ve got the plan to get in. It’s not nice and safe and cosy, but I think it’ll work. The only thing I don’t have, though, is how you’re all going to kill Adam. You’re gonna have to work that out yourselves.”

She returned the stare. “Okay. We got it. Tell us your plan.”

I breathed deeply. Good. Very good. It was going good. They hadn’t staked me yet. One whole world of good. Oh bloody hell. I was talkin' like them already.

I quickly outlined the plan, finishing by reminding them that they still had to come up with something to beat Adam. I think I even surprised myself at that. Well, today was full of surprises.

If you’d told me a week ago that I’d band with the Slayer against my hope of salvation, I’d have laughed in your face, and if I’d been chipless, I’d have decapitated you. Probably played with your guts as well, before snacking. Just for the Big Bad image, of course. I'd make sure you were dead, first. I only do that kinda stuff when Angelus or Dru are around. Really. Seriously. You don't believe me? You just want me to get on with it?

Fine.

Anyway...but now? Not only was I doing that, I’d actually formulated a plan that didn’t seem as half-witted as my normal ones that even I had to admit didn’t generally work. And hacked into the government. And I never remembered having ever spoken so much. Surprisingly –that word was cropping up a lot- I almost felt… comfortable. Despite the bout of laughing previously. I knew my place here. And I knew them. And I knew that they would kill me if they had the chance. Yet I still felt comfortable.

Weird.

I was shaken by my thoughts as the Whelp looked strangely at me. He wasn’t the only one. I felt like a zoo exhibit.

“What?” I demanded, getting twitchy.

The Watcher looked at me speculatively. “Tell me again, Spike, why you are helping us? And why I, for one, am actually beginning to trust you?”

I smirked, but then I suddenly saw the stake in his hand.





You must login (register) to review.