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Author's Chapter Notes:
Alright! Chapter 9 is here, now. And by the way, thanks to all of you who have reviewed. :)
Chapter 9: The Bloody Awful Aftermath

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“The Initiative represented the government’s interest in not only controlling the otherworldly menace, but harnessing it to our own uses for the military. Once the prototype took control of the centre, however, it led to a 40 mortality rate. It was only through the work of a group of civilian insurgents, a deserter, and most surprisingly, a HST itself, that our losses were not total.
I trust you appreciate the irony of that, gentleman. They have taken the formal procedures of secrecy, and if they come out, we are prepared to put all legal power upon them, but somehow, I don’t think they will.
Maggie Walsh’s dream was brilliant, but in the end, unconceivable. Demons cannot be controlled. They cannot be contained. So burn it down, gentleman. Burn it down, and purge the earth of its sins.”

888

“Ow!” Xander yelped, hopping on one leg as Buffy stared on with grim satisfaction. “That hurt!”

“That was for lying to me about that time with Willow and Angel,” Buffy said, a steely note in her voice.

“What?” Willow demanded. She rounded on Xander, eyebrows raised. “What’s she talking about?”

Buffy glared at him. “He lied to me. You told him to tell me that you were going to restore Angel’s soul two years ago, and he just told me to kick his ass.”

“What!”

“Ow!” Xander yelped again, his bruised leg throbbing. “Okay, can you cut it out with the shin-kicking? I’m sorry!”

“And Willow! Were you… I mean, I know that you said you were scared about telling us about Tara, but…” Buffy gulped. “You were really that scared?”

“Of course I was!” Willow exclaimed. “I… I didn’t want you all to be looking at me in disgust. I’ve met homophobes before and… it’s just…”

“Hey, Willow. Maybe you’re not homosexual, maybe you’re just bi,” Xander said cheerfully.

“Maybe,” Willow smiled thoughtfully. “But if I was, during the enjoining spell, wouldn’t you have seen it?”

“This is… this is fascinating!” Giles finally managed to get the sentence out of his mouth. The Watcher’s face was lined with joy. “All this… Research! How did we see all that we saw? Why didn’t we see some things? Why…”

They spoke in unison, and Buffy wondered idly if it was an after-effect of the spell.

“Why did we see Spike like that?”

“Talking about me?” Spike asked quietly from behind them.

They jumped as they saw the vampire leaning against the wall. Before they could say anything, he began ticking things off on his fingers.

“Captain Cardboard’s got the wounded soldiers under control, sent ‘em to the hospital. He told me to tell you lot that he’s going to go straight to the Government. Hopes he can get out with a honourable discharge. The girl and the boy are in hospital too. Still unconscious. Adam’s dead. And an evil soulless thing like me should be getting back to his crypt. Right… uh… that’s it. I’m gone.”

As he moved to slip out of the door, he was yanked back by Buffy. She resisted the urge to slam him against the wall, and instead, steered him back into the living room.

“You’re going to answer a few questions, Spike,” Buffy tried hard not to let her voice be shaky. “And one of them is definitely going to be how you lied to us when we were enjoined.”

“What the hell are you going on about, Slayer!” Spike demanded.

“Talk, Spike,” Giles agreed, seating himself on the armchair. “I don’t understand either. The memories of us, they were all real. But yours? How did you fabricate them?”

As always, when Spike chose to let his emotions show, they were stunning indeed. First, confusion raced over his handsome features, then understanding, bewilderment, anger, hopelessness and finally, exhaustion ran over him in quick succession. He threw Buffy’s hand off him, knowing that doing so wouldn’t hurt her.

“You want to know?” he demanded harshly, glaring at all of the Scoobies. Willow and Xander stepped backwards, towards Giles on his chair, and even Buffy was tempted to retreat from whoever this new person was. In an effort to cover her… fear? she stood next to Giles. The four of them were arrayed in a semi-circle facing… This wasn’t Spike. Spike was cocky, arrogant, deadly, and beautiful…

Okay, where had she gotten ‘beautiful’ from?-

“You want to know?” he repeated again, pushing back the hysterical laughter. “Oh, all right then.”

He stalked towards Giles, and his demeanour was cloaked with such anger and violence that the staid Watcher almost shrunk back. He did at Spike’s words. “Take this down for your books, Rupert,” Spike sneered, his face full of crashing pain. “All those memories, every single bloody one of ‘em that you saw was real.”

Reaching out two hands then, he pressed his right palm on Buffy’s forehead, and his left on Giles’. Knowing that they all had to touch, Spike used his left foot to stand on Xander’s bare feet, and his right on Willow’s. They all gasped in unison.

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“Daniel?”

“Yeah?”

“You awake?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Have you noticed something?”

“What?”

“We’re healed.”

“Really?”

There was a silence. Then…

“That’s all you can say?!”

“Well, I could go on about how weird this is. Where are
we, by the way?”

“I’m not entirely sure… but I think it’s the Sunnydale Hospital.”

There was a beat, and then the two of the crept out of the hospital bed in unison and stared at each other.

“Where’s Sunnydale?” Daniel asked.

“UC California…” Cassandra answered. “And… um… I think I know what that guy was talking about.”

“UC California?” Daniel shook his head, trying to process the information. “How did we get from Australia to America?”

“That’s the thing. We’re in a different dimension. That’s what the guy was on about.”

“Dimension? Hang on a sec…” Daniel laughed. “You don’t really believe in that kind of stuff, do you?”

Cassandra raised her eyebrow. “I’d say that believing in things like magic and demons is a bit of a moot point considering what we saw.”

“Good point,” Daniel winced.

They stood in silence for a while, and then Daniel spoke up again.

“We’re in shock, aren’t we?”

“Yeah.”

“From that thing we saw… right? It… it… it put us in shock.”

“Yeah, why?”

“Have you noticed something?”

“What?”

“Sunnydale… I thought you would have noticed it first. We’re in… we’re in that T.V series you always rant on about!”

Cassandra blinked innocently. “Really?”

There was a silence. Then…

“That’s all you can say?!”

The two stared at each other again the half-darkness, laughed hysterically for a time, and then sobered.

“Oh God.”

“Yeah, well… I’m not sure if he’s going to listen to us. Considering I think his lackeys put us here in the first place.”

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They snapped out of it together with a gasp, furious emotions still pounding through their veins. Spike leapt backwards, breaking the contact, even though something in all of them screamed to keep it maintained. As he let go, his previous fatigue enveloped him again.

Facing the shocked assemblage, the deathly silence encompassing them all, he felt the exhaustion finally claim him as he fell to it. He spun around back to Buffy, and she saw the fatigue hooding his sunken eyes.

“So, now that you know the sodding truth about William the Bloody Awful poet, I’m leaving. No more questions. I’m tired, confused, and bloody exhausted, got it?”

Buffy nodded softly. “Got it.”

Surprised at her quiet acceptance, Spike stared at them all one last time, before disappearing with a swirl of his leather duster. Leaving them all gaping behind him.

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I really can’t explain what that day was like. Bloody impossible, it was. The Bloody Awful Aftermath.

Hmmph.

The thing is that we later found out that the memories we first shared with each other were ones we’d repressed. Don’t ask me why Red repressed that memory of her and the Whelp, but yeah. We’d hidden those memories even from ourselves. I, for one, had buried William the sodding Bloody Awful Poet so deep that I’d almost forgotten him. I’d locked him in a bloody cellar, tossed away the key, and muttered ‘Good Riddance’. Despite all of this, that one spell just unlocked all of the doors again.

Now can you understand my reaction of that day?

But it wasn’t only that. I needed to feel them again. We were brilliant, together. Fit like a jigsaw puzzle, just like you and your fancy words said. Most importantly, I felt accepted. You have no idea how much that meant to me.

Oh, you do, do you? Like hell you do. You’ve never been in one of those enjoining spells.

Oi, what’s with that look? You mean you have? But… but… they’re volatile! They could have killed you, you silly…

Oh, right. I’m supposed to be talking about that day.

Well, fine. I overreacted. The Scoobies and the Slayer were just the last straw, that’s all. I was still struggling with all of those memories, and then they had to come out and accuse me of lying. At the time, I bloody well wished that that’s what they were! Just… lies.
It would have made things a lot simpler.

But no… things can never be simple around the Hellmouth. Most importantly, things can never be simple around the Slayer and her Scoobies. But just the way they looked at me… I couldn’t stand it. I had to show them. And so I did.

When we joined, I felt like we were complete again, and I know for sure the others did as well. Wasn’t really that hard. I could kind of feel them as well, you know. That enjoining spell… I don’t think many people have tried it before us. They knew the thing was dangerous. And many of those evil guys never wanted that kind of connection with anyone else. Always wanted to stand alone. And the good guys probably never thought of using this kind of magic. It’s not black magic, no… it’s just volatile magic, that’s all. Probably thought the risks outweighed the benefits.

Now that I think of it, it was probably that spell that changed everything. No, scrap that. I’m willing to point the finger and declare the soddin’ Powers that Be started it all. Manipulated us into using that spell just so that everything would change. I guess we have to thank them, though. Right? I mean, otherwise things would never have happened this way.

Yeah, so what if I’m being sarcastic!

So, yeah. That was it. The Bloody Awful Aftermath. Just because I was still bloody tired, damned well confused from all of those memories, and really, really… I don’t know…

Vulnerable? You think I was vulnerable?!

Alright, fine. Have it your way. I was vulnerable. Come on, the good old Big Bad image that had lasted me for over a hundred years had just been shattered.

Wouldn’t you have felt a little vulnerable?

In any case, the exhaustion was what did us in afterwards.

That was when she came.

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