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Author's Chapter Notes:
I'm sorry I didn't post over the weekend but I promise to make it up to you guys by posting two chaps today! Well Enjoy! Kuddos!
**Disclaimer in full effect**






It had been two days since Buffy had received her papers in the mail and she had still not opened them. She told herself she was giving herself time to recuperate from her little emotional breakdown, but she knew in the back of her mind that she was just avoiding the inevitable. Besides, it’s not like they were going anywhere.


Aside from all that Buffy had a bigger problem on her hands; Lindsey. Since the night they had slept together he had slowly tried to bring himself back into her life.


Buffy had been in such a whirlwind that she didn’t even realize what was happening until Lindsey reminded her of the dinner they were supposed to have that evening at her place. She had tried to make up excuses as to why she couldn’t have dinner with him but they had even sounded lame to her, so in the end she had agreed as long as it was just dinner and dinner alone.


Lindsey reluctantly agreed and promised to be the perfect gentleman. So now here she was, arms loaded down with groceries for the dinner Lindsey was going to be cooking her in a few hours.


Lindsey showed up early, but Buffy pushed back her frustration and tried her best to give him what was supposed to be a welcoming smile. When Lindsey tried to kiss her, she turned so he got her cheek.


Lindsey frowned slightly and then forced a smile. “So ready to have your taste buds tantalized?” he asked as he rubbed his hands together.


“Yep,” she replied with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.


Lindsey hoped that her mood would improve as dinner progressed but he had learned a long time ago not to hold his breath.


Dinner was spent for the most part in silence except for the occasional question on Lindsey’s part. Buffy would answer his questions and then go back to picking at her dinner. Letting his frustration get the better of him, Lindsey asked, “Is it that awful having to have dinner with me?”


Buffy felt a twinge of guilt. Lindsey had gone out of his way to make her this nice meal and she was treating him like shit. “I’m sorry Lindsey, but I just have a lot on my mind,” she tried to explain.


“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked hoping she would confide in him.


“Lindsey,” Buffy sighed. Why did he always have to try so hard?


“Buffy I just want to be involved in your life,” Lindsey said hanging his head dejectedly.


“I know you do, but this is something I have to do on my own,” she told him gently.


“Is it him?” he asked, all the hurt he felt evident.


Buffy knew she couldn’t lie to him. “Yes it has to do with Will,” she answered honestly.


Lindsey pushed away his jealousy. “Then talk to me about it Buffy, I can handle it.”


Buffy wanted to reach over and just shake Lindsey. Why couldn’t he understand that it wasn’t about what he could handle, it was about her, and how she couldn’t talk to the man she was beginning to see as nothing more than a friend about the man who would always and forever hold her heart?


“Lindsey I’m sure you can, but I don’t know if I’m quite ready to talk about this,” Buffy tried.


“Talk about in general or talk about with me?” Lindsey accused, finally letting his anger come forth.


“See this is why I can’t talk to you,” Buffy huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest defiantly.


“Why, because I asked you a simple question?” Lindsey snapped.


“Lindsey I think you should leave,” Buffy suggested.


“Buffy don’t do this, don’t push me away,” he pleaded.


“Lindsey I just can’t do this anymore,” Buffy said finally feeling like she was being honest not only to herself, but to him as well.


“Buffy you don’t mean that, you’re just upset about William and you’re letting that confuse you on how you feel about us,” Lindsey said not wanting to believe it was really over.


Buffy felt sorry for the man sitting before her. He just couldn’t grasp that there was nothing left for them. “Lindsey I’m sorry, I just don’t think there’s a future for us.”


Lindsey got up and took their plates to the kitchen as if Buffy hadn’t said a word to him.


Buffy turned in her seat and watched Lindsey with a confused look on her face. “Lindsey what are you doing?” When he didn’t answer, Buffy got up and went to the kitchen where Lindsey was cleaning up dinner dishes. Buffy turned off the water and put her hand on Lindsey’s to stop him.


“Lindsey stop this, it’s over,” she said this time with more resolve.


Lindsey let go of the plate in his hand and hung his head. “I thought that maybe if I pretended that you weren’t saying it, it would make it not real,” he said in a sad tone.


Buffy swore that she could hear Lindsey’s heart breaking at that very moment. There was nothing but silence between them and Buffy felt more lonely than she had ever felt before. When she had come to New York she knew no one and that was okay with her because she had come to grips with being alone, but then she had met Lindsey. Lindsey had helped her come out of her shell and helped her find her dream, and for that she would be forever grateful.


“Lindsey I’m sorry,” she finally said when the silence became too much.


“I know,” he replied as he looked up to gaze one last time into the greenest eyes he had ever seen.


“So where does that leave us?” she asked meekly.


“I don’t know,” he replied mournfully.


“I hope we can someday be friends,” Buffy tried.


Lindsey let out a wryly chuckle. “Buffy you and I both know I could never just be your friend.”


Buffy knew as well as Lindsey did that it was true. They had shared way too much to just be friends. “Well can we still work together?” she asked hesitantly.


Lindsey considered this for a moment. He loved Buffy more than anything and the idea of being completely taken out of her life was too much to bear right now, so reluctantly he agreed. “Of course Buffy,” he assured her.


Buffy let out a small sigh of relief. “Thank you Lindsey.”


Lindsey looked down at the dishes in the sink. “Before I go at least let me help take care of the dishes,” he suggested.


Buffy shook her head. “No Lindsey, you don’t have to do that.”


“Buffy please, let me do this,” he asked hoping she would understand that it wasn’t about cleaning up; it was about drawing out the last few moments that he had in her home, and in her life.


Buffy nodded her head and understood completely. “Okay Lindsey.”


They stood there in silence as Lindsey washed and Buffy dried. It was probably the most domestic they had ever been together even in the five years they were together. Buffy knew she would never have this again and let herself enjoy the moment, even if it wasn’t real.



******************************************************************************



It had been a week since Buffy had had dinner with Lindsey and things had been awkward as hell. She had expected it to be this way, but what she hadn’t expected was the guilt that would come along with it.


Lindsey had tried to act as if nothing was wrong but every time he looked at her he had that wounded puppy dog look making her feel ten times worse than she already did. She was seriously stating to reconsider the whole working together thing.


Unable to deal with everything, Buffy grabbed her bag, and was about to head out the door, when she noticed the envelope she had been avoiding fall out and onto the floor. Picking it up, she shook her head. Why was she avoiding this? She knew what was in there so it wasn’t like it was going to be a surprise or anything.


Sitting down, she tore open the envelope and pulled out the papers. As her eyes swept over them, the knot that seemed to be in her throat more often than not returned. She was about to stuff them back in her bag when something caught her eye. Hurt being replaced by anger, Buffy clinched her jaw and stuffed the papers in her bag.


“That son of a bitch!”



******************************************************************************


William sat in his car stuck in traffic ready to fall asleep as the warm California air breezed in his open window. Aside from all the bullshit that was his life, today had been a fairly descent day. He had managed to brown nose his way back into the good graces of Mr. Winters and was now the sole lawyer for the company.


Just as he was about to dose off, his cell phone brought him back to consciousness. Without looking at the caller ID, he flipped his phone open and brought it to his ear.


“’Ello?” he answered groggily.


“How dare you, you fucking asshole!”


William sat up in his seat and frowned. “Buffy?”


Buffy was seething with anger. “There is no way I’m letting you do that,” she hissed.


“Buffy what the hell are you talking about?” William asked thoroughly confused.


“Don’t play dumb with me William,” she spit at him heatedly.


“Buffy I haven’t a fucking clue what it is you’re on about,” he defended starting to get mad.


“The house William,” she snapped.


“The house? What house?” he asked frowning in confusion. Buffy wasn’t making any sense at all.


“Our house!”


It finally dawned on him what Buffy was so pissed off about. In the divorce papers he had filed that they would sell the house and split whatever they got for it fifty-fifty.


“I agreed to split everything down the middle Buffy, what more do you want?” he snapped letting his temper get the better of him.


“Until you agree to not sell the house, I’m not signing anything,” Buffy replied defiantly.


“What?” he asked disbelievingly.


“You’re not selling the house,” Buffy stated flatly. There was no way she would let someone else live in their home.


“Buffy this is crazy,” William tried to reason. Why was she so fired up over this? It’s not like she planed on moving back to Sunnydale, was she?


“I don’t care what you think, you are not selling the house,” she reiterated.


“Buffy why is this so important to you?” he finally asked.


Buffy sat quiet for a minute. She couldn’t tell him it was because that was their house and their memories or that no one was allowed to come in and take out all the furniture that was still there that they had gotten together and put in new things that just didn’t belong. So instead she went with a more childish response.


“Because I said so.”


“Excuse me?” William hissed. He had never been more pissed off with Buffy than he was right now. Who the bloody hell did she think she was?


Buffy knew she had crossed the line, but she wasn’t about to back down. “You will not sell the house William,” Buffy said point blank.


That was it, that was the straw that broke the camels back. “So, you want to play things that way?” he asked maliciously.


“You can’t do anything without my signature,” she replied cockily.


“We’ll see about that,” he sneered.


Buffy felt a surge of rage course through her. “I swear to God William if you go behind my back and sell that house you will regret it,” she threatened.


William heard cars honking behind him and stuck two fingers out the window. Pulling his car up further, he returned to the call that was ready to make his head explode.


“Buffy don’t threaten me, I have one of the best divorce attorneys in the fucking state of California. By the time this is done I could leave you with nothing so don’t start.”


“Well it looks like I’ll be seeing you in court then William,” Buffy replied arrogantly and then hung up.


William snapped his phone shut and punched at the steering wheel. He had tried doing things the nice way but Buffy was insisting on being a bitch about things, so he was going to show her just how ugly things could really get.







Thanks to Kimber, MidnightGirl, spufette, Spikesluv, aspikefan, cordykitten, spikeshunny, Debbie, Brunettepet, Nicki, Meagan, DaniD, frederique, SarahandJamesFanatic, Laura, Klai, usafan, and ... (my mystery reviewer, LOL!) for the lovely reviews, you guys rock! I know it is getting pretty angsty but I promise it will all smooth out soon enough. Kuddos!





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