**Disclaimer in full effect**
Buffy sat in the backseat as her brother and William caught up and talked about the good ol’ days. She had to stifle a laugh as they talked about their glory days of ruling Sunnydale High.
“Do you think you can turn up the radio so the rest of us don’t die from boredom back here,” she asked dryly.
Angel shot her a look in the rearview mirror and turned up the radio.
Buffy sat ramrod straight in her seat as she heard the song on the radio.
“Aunt Buffy that’s you,” Stephen said from the seat next to her.
William reached over and turned it up so he could hear better and turned around in his seat with a look of awe on his face as he listened to the words.
Can you forgive me again?
I don't know what I said
But I didn't mean to hurt you
I heard the words come out
I felt like I would die
It hurt so much to hurt you
Then you look at me
You're not shouting anymore
You're silently broken
Buffy leaned forward to try and turn off the radio but William grabbed her hand to stop her. This was one of the first songs she had written after she had left William that fateful night and it was stirring emotions she had been trying all these years to leave behind.
I'd give anything now
to keep those words from you
Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."
But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah.
'Cause you were made for me
Somehow I'll make you see
How happy you make me oh...
William stared at Buffy completely stunned. There was no doubt who this song was about.
I can't live this life
Without you by my side
I need you to survive
So stay with me...
You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry...
Can you forgive me again
You're my one true friend
And I never meant to hurt you
Buffy sat back in her seat and blinked back the tears that were trying to escape. She stared down at her lap, unable to meet William’s eyes.
“Buffy,” William tried but Buffy just shook her head. She apparently didn’t want to discuss this in mixed company so he let it go.
Buffy was thankful William hadn’t pushed her and settled back in her seat, chancing a glance at her brother in the rearview mirror. When he gave her a comforting smile, she smiled weakly in return and turned around to distract herself by playing with Connor.
William glanced over his shoulder to see Buffy with her back to him and then looked over at Angel with an expectant look.
“Not now Will,” Angel said quietly with a shake of his head.
William nodded in agreement. It was killing him to just sit back and not ask Buffy why she had never told him sooner, but there would be time for questions later, so for now he would just let things be.
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Buffy sat in the chair across the room from where Angel stood holding his daughter. It was so funny to see a man that looked as graceful as a bull in a china store cradle a baby in his arms as if she would break at any second.
“Want to hold her Will?” Angel asked.
William got a slightly panicked look on his face. He had never held a newborn baby before and didn’t think now was the time to start trying. “Uh, Angel I don’t know,” he said hesitantly as he scratched his neck nervously.
“She won’t break,” Angel insisted.
With a reluctant sigh, William held out his arms for the tiny bundle. “Just make sure you hold her head,” Angel told him as he deposited his precious bundle in his friend’s arms.
William shifted Abigail so she was comfortable in his arms and gazed down at her. Even in her sleep she had the most expressive face he had ever seen. As she snuggled closer to him he felt his heart melt. “Well aren’t you the most precious thing I have ever seen,” he doted on the tiny baby in his arms.
Buffy felt tears prick her eyes at the site of William holding her niece. There was nothing more attractive than a man so openly affectionate with children.
William walked over to Buffy and sat on the arm of the chair. “Look at her, isn’t she absolutely perfect,” William commented in complete awe.
Buffy wiped away a tear and ran a finger over Abigail’s tiny clinched fist, “Yes she is.”
William looked at Buffy and saw tears swimming in her eyes. “What is it luv?” he asked gently.
“Just you look so cute with her that’s all.” she said with a watery smile. She always knew that William would be good with children.
William leaned forward to place a chaste kiss on Buffy’s lips when Abigail let her presence be known. William quickly straightened and looked down at the fussy baby in his arms. “Hey lil bit, none of that,” he cooed softly rocking her gently in his arms.
Cordelia held out her arms. “Here Will, she’s probably getting hungry,” Cordelia suggested.
William walked over to Cordy and placed the baby in her arms. When Cordelia unclasped her top and began to nurse Abigail, William looked away and blushed slightly. When Cordelia raised a knowing brow at him, he scowled and grumbled under his breath, “Shut up.”
Buffy had to laugh. “Will have you never seen a woman nurse a baby before?”
“Yes, but it’s different when it’s your mate’s wife,” William pointed out uncomfortably.
Angel leaned in and whispered in his friend’s ear, “Well apparently it’s nothing you’ve never seen before,” he commented knowingly.
William looked at Angel with wide eyes. He couldn’t believe Angel had brought up the fact that he had indeed seen more of his friend’s wife than he would care to mention.
Angel laughed. “What it’s true.”
Buffy scrunched her brow, “What’s true?”
“Nothing,” William insisted adamantly. He had never told Buffy about his one night with Cordelia and he planned on keeping it that way.
Buffy looked at her brother with a look that said he better start talking.
“I’m not going there,” Angel informed her with a shake of his head.
Buffy eyed her brother and William warily. It seems these two had some secrets she wasn’t quite aware of.
“Daddy I’m hungry,” Connor said pulling on his father’s pant leg.
“How ‘bout your Aunt Buffy and I take you downstairs to get a bite to eat, yeah?” William suggested wanting nothing more than to have an excuse to get away from the situation he was in.
Buffy looked over at Stephen who was sitting in the other chair playing a video game. “What about you Stephen, you hungry?”
Stephen shrugged his shoulders and turned off his game. “Okay.”
Buffy rounded up the boys and headed towards the door. “We won’t be gone long.”
Angel nodded gratefully and went and sat in the bed with his wife, placing a sweet kiss to her temple.
Buffy took William’s hand and softly shut the door behind them leading her men to the elevators.
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The boys had eaten and now William and Buffy had them at the small park behind the hospital so Angel and Cordelia could spend a bit of alone time with the new baby. William had wanted to ask Buffy about what had happened in the car and now he had the chance to with the boys off playing.
“Buffy was that song about us?” he asked bluntly. No point in beating around the bush.
Buffy sighed. “I wondered when you were going to bring it up,” she commented knowingly.
“Well?” he asked expectantly.
Buffy turned to face him. “After I left,” she started. “I felt so horrible for the way things had ended between us and the only way I could seem to get everything out was to write about it,” she explained.
“So is that how you really felt?” William asked sadly.
Buffy felt tears sting her eyes as memories flooded her. She had been a mess for weeks after she left Sunnydale and even worse when she had come back and he was gone.
“I came back you know,” Buffy said quietly feeling she could finally tell him the truth.
“What? When?” William asked completely stunned.
“About a week after I left. I went back to the house to try and fix things but you were already gone,” she confessed.
William sat back completely baffled. He had been so hurt he had just up and packed what he could and went to England without ever thinking that Buffy would try to come home.
“Did anyone know you came back?”
Buffy looked down in her lap and shook her head. “No. When I found you gone I knew there was no reason to stay.”
“Oh,” was all he could say.
Buffy wiped her tears away. “Shocked huh?” she chuckled mirthlessly.
“Well it changes things that’s for sure,” he replied still stunned.
“How?” Buffy asked confused.
William turned to look at her. “All these years I thought you didn’t care, just up and left without looking back,” he told her honestly. “But now you tell me you came back, wanted to try and fix things and I was the one that left you,” he said guiltily.
Buffy cupped William’s cheeks. “No William you had every right to think that. I was the one that was wrong not you,” she insisted in a tear tight voice.
William took Buffy’s hands from his face and held them in his hands. “Yes you were.” He said in a serious tone.
Buffy couldn’t help but be hurt by his words, true or not. “But,” he said quickly seeing the hurt etched on her face. “It doesn’t matter now. What happened before is in the past, clean slate remember,” he said with a warm smile.
Buffy flung herself in William’s arms. “God Will, how can you be so forgiving,” she murmured against his chest.
William ran his fingers through her hair. “Because I love you,” he stated simply.
Buffy sat up and looked deep in William’s eyes. She knew exactly what she had to do.
“William I-” but she was cut off by the sound of crying.
William whipped his head around to see Connor sitting on the ground clutching his arm and Stephen crouched next to him trying to comfort him. Without thinking, he took off across the park to the injured boy. Buffy was at his heels in a flash as panic rose deep from with in her.
“What happened?” William questioned as he picked the tiny boy up in his arms whispering soothing words in his ear.
“He was up on the jungle gym and fell off,” Stephen informed the two adults.
Buffy reached out to inspect Connors arm and he wailed before she ever touched him. “Connor baby, I have to look at it” she said in a gentle voice.
“No, it hurts,” he cried burring his face into William’s chest.
William took Connor over to the bench and sat down with him in his lap. “All right sport, let us have a look see,” William asked. When Connor shook his head adamantly, he tried a different angle. “How about you hold it out and I promise not to touch?” he suggested.
Connor held out his arm as big fat tears streamed down his cheeks.
“Do you think it’s broken?” Buffy asked full of concern.
William inspected the offered arm and shook his head. “I don’t think so, probably just bruised but we should have it looked at anyways.”
Buffy nodded in agreement and looked over at Stephen who was starting to get upset. “Come here sweetie,” she cooed holding her arms out for Stephen.
“I tried to catch him before he fell, but I wasn’t fast enough,” Stephen sniffled.
“It’s not your fault sweetie, accidents happen,” Buffy assured him gently.
They all walked back over to the hospital and stopped out side the door. “Buffy I’m gonna take Connor to the ER and you go and let Angel know what happened all right,” William decided diplomatically.
“All right, I’m sure Angel will be down in just a minute,” she said before giving him a quick kiss. Just before William rounded the corner, she called out to him.
William turned to Buffy. “Yeah?”
“Thank you,” she said hoping that he would understand she meant in more ways than one.
William nodded knowingly and headed down the hall.
“Come on Stephen lets go let your dad know about Connor,” Buffy said ushering her nephew to the elevators. Looking back over her shoulder in the direction William had just left she smiled knowingly. It was time. The next chance she got she was going to tell William what her heart knew all along. She was still in love.
Song is 'Forgive Me' by Evanescence and all rights and lyrics belong to the rightful owners.
Thanks to MidnightGirl, spikeshunny, spuffette, Debbie, DaniD, cordykitten, Kimber, Laura, Fan in Germany (OMG!!!! I miss you too sweetie!), Phantom reviewer ..., Brunettepet, SarahandJamesFanatic, and Briana for the sweet reviews, I love them all! kuddos!
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Author's Chapter Notes:
This may be my last post until Monday since I have a ton of stuff to do to get ready for my trip but I will see if maybe I can squeeze in some timefor y'all tomorrow, but no promises *winks*. Enjoy!