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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thank you to everyone that has been so supportive of this fic thus far. Y'all are the best! Disclaimer: Still own nothing and it will continue to be that way forever and ever amen.
Buffy and Amy left Buffy’s trailer talking animatedly about everyday stuff. When Buffy caught Lindsey’s eye, she smiled and walked over to him.


“Hey you, is everything in order for tonight?” Buffy asked.


Lindsey leaned in for a kiss but was stopped by a scowling Amy. “I didn’t spend hours in that trailer making Buffy look like this for nothing,” she scolded.


Lindsey returned her scowl and turned to look at a laughing Buffy. “She’s kidding me right?”


Buffy shook her head with a grin on her face and pointed to her cheek.


Lindsey rolled his eyes and placed a sweet kiss to Buffy’s cheek. “I swear. Can’t even give my girl a kiss,” Lindsey grumbled.


Buffy stepped back from Lindsey and let a distant look cross her face. She remembered the first time she had heard someone call her ‘their girl’.


** Flashback**


“Buffy what the bloody hell are you doing out here?” William asked as he walked to where Buffy was sitting on the swing in her back yard.


Buffy swung her feet idly as she looked up at William with sad eyes. “Nothing, just needed to get away for awhile,” she replied softly.


It was Buffy’s sixteenth birthday and her mother had pulled all the strings to throw her a huge party, but Joyce had made the mistake of inviting Buffy’s dad, Hank.


“Did Joyce and Hank get into it?” he asked knowingly as he sat down next her.


“Yeah. They tried to act like nothing was wrong when I walked in the kitchen, but I had heard them arguing about child support and all the other bullshit they can’t seem to agree on before I walked in the room,” Buffy replied somewhat bitterly. She always seemed to be the subject of her parents’ fights.


“Such language from such a pretty girl,” William teased.


Buffy turned to William with wide eyes as she turned a bright shade of red. “Did you just call me pretty?” she asked in almost a whisper. She had been in love with William Giles since she was ten years old.


Spike let his look turn serious. “Yeah I did pet,” he admitted in a husky voice.


Buffy felt goosebumps run up and down her entire body at the sound of William’s voice. He was looking at her with this look that was causing her heart to hammer in her chest and her breathing to become erratic.


William gazed at the young girl he had always thought of as a little sister. She had grown up into one of the most gorgeous creatures he had ever laid eyes on. He suddenly didn’t see Buffy as that little girl anymore, but as a woman.


Sure he had noticed before how cute she was when she was younger, but he had always told himself she was off limits because she was Angel’s little sister, but the way she looked tonight, Angel be damned. He let his eyes drift to her full glossy lips and wondered what it would be like to kiss those lips. He scooted closer to her, closing some of the distance between them, needing to feel her closeness.


Buffy felt a million butterflies go into flight in the pit of her stomach as William scooted closer to her. Oh how she had dreamed of this moment since she was a little girl, and now it seemed like her dream just might become a reality. When there was no space between them, Buffy looked up into William’s sapphire blue eye. “Will?” she whispered.


William tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and gazed into her emerald orbs. “Buffy I’m not sure what’s happening,” he admitted as he slowly leaned in, closing the distance between their lips.


Buffy placed a hand on his chest and looked at him with insecure eyes. “I’ve never…” she trailed off feeling slightly embarrassed by her inexperience.


William backed away slightly and looked at Buffy with wide eyes. “You mean, you’ve never…,” He couldn’t believe it. Buffy was a beautiful sixteen-year-old girl and had never been kissed.


“Been kissed,” she finished for him sheepishly as she turned an adorable shade of pink.


William cupped her cheek and smiled softly. “Well then I think we need to rectify that situation,” he purred as he leaned back in to capture her lips.


Buffy closed her eyes. She had never been this nervous and excited in her entire life. She was finally going to get her first kiss, and it was going to be from the man she had dreamt of for so many nights.


When their lips met in the tenderest of kisses she swore she might explode from the sensations it was causing within her. It was like liquid fire was coursing from her full lips to every cell of her body. She knew that she would never experience another kiss like this one for as long as she lived.


William had to remind himself that this was Buffy’s first kiss and that he had to take it slow as not to scare her away. He let his lips linger against hers, reveling in the feel of their warmth. Never had he ever felt anything remotely close to what he felt at that very moment. He knew that from this moment on he was forever lost to this girl, and all from a simple tender kiss


William broke the kiss and opened his eyes. Buffy still had her eyes closed with a dazed look on her face and he couldn’t help the small smile that curled at his lips from the reaction he had caused.


“So how was that?” he asked in a husky voice.


Buffy let a soft smile cross her face as she whispered her reply. “Perfect.”


“Open your eyes,” he demanded softly.


Buffy slowly opened her eyes and saw the tenderness in William’s big blue eyes. Never in her life had she seen eyes so blue.


William gazed in to Buffy’s eyes and smiled nervously. “Buffy will you be my girl?” he asked shyly.


Buffy felt tears well in her eyes. This was the moment she had been waiting for all her life. With a watery smile, she answered softly, “Yes.”


William captured Buffy lips in a tender kiss. He darted out his tongue and brushed it across her bottom lip, begging for entrance.


Buffy slowly parted her lips and let his soft tongue mingle and dance with hers in a slow erotic dance that she never knew existed.


They kissed languidly until they both needed air. They reluctantly broke apart, both panting for much needed air.


Buffy looked deep into William’s eyes. “Will, when you say that I’m your girl, you mean...” Buffy trailed off somewhat unsure of this newfound relationship.


Spike cupped Buffy’s cheek and let a serious look cross his face. “That means you’re mine Buffy,” he stated possessively.


Buffy felt a chill run down her spine at William’s sudden possessiveness. She had always thought her friends were stupid for letting guys ‘claim’ them, but now she understood why they did, it was freakin’ hot!


“So you’re my boyfriend now?” she asked wanting to be perfectly clear as to where they stood.


William let a grin curl at his lips. “Yeah, I’m your boyfriend now,” he replied adoringly.


Buffy let a bright smile cross her face before she captured his lips in a heated kiss. This may have only been her third kiss, but what could she say, she was a fast learner.


William was surprised by Buffy’s sudden eagerness, but it was quickly replaced with want as she plundered his mouth with her soft bubblegum tongue.


Buffy moaned softly into William’s mouth as a flood of moisture pooled between her thighs. She had never experienced these new sensations before.


William felt the stirring in his faded blue jeans and knew that he needed to slow things down before they spiraled out of control. Breaking their kiss, he panted heavily.


“Buffy I think we better stop while we’re ahead,” he warned huskily.


Buffy gave him a confused look. What was he talking about?


William subtly gestured down at his lap and gave her a knowing look.


Buffy felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment. Oh my God, had she really done that? Looking away shyly, she let out a soft, “Oh!”


William found Buffy’s innocence absolutely adorable. He wasn’t quite sure, but he was almost positive he was already head over heels in love with this girl.


William let out a nervous chuckle, “Sorry pet, but I got a bit carried away there for a minute,” he apologized.


Buffy felt her cheeks tint a deeper shade of pink. “I don’t think you were the only one,” she admitted as she shifted in her seat. Her panties were damp with her arousal.


William pulled Buffy snuggly in his arms and coaxed her to rest her head on his chest, kissing the top of her head as he slowly began to push the swing.


Buffy let out a soft sigh. This was the best birthday present she could have ever asked for.


They sat there in comfortable silence, just enjoying the feel of being in each other’s arms.


“Will, this was the best birthday ever,” Buffy admitted as she looked up at him with big doe eyes.


William smiled down adoringly at the girl in his arms. “Happy birthday Buffy,” he murmured softly before capturing her lips in a tender kiss. “From now on, you’ll always be my girl.”


** **


“Buffy did you here me?” Lindsey asked somewhat irritated. She had been doing this all day. One minute she was there talking to you, the next she was off in her own little world.


“What, I’m sorry I must have zoned out,” Buffy replied still somewhat dazed. How long had she been zoning out like that?


“Buffy are you all right, you’ve been acting weird all day, is there something you’re not tellin’ me?” Lindsey asked letting his aggravation become evident.


Amy looked between the couple and knew that it was time for her to go. “I’ll see you two later,” she said quickly and then went off to find Willow.


Buffy watched as Amy walked away and then turned to Lindsey. “What are you talking about?”


“Buffy you’ve been acting like a space cadet all day, so obviously something’s got you preoccupied,” Lindsey pointed out.


Buffy scoffed at Lindsey’s comment and shook her head. She wasn’t about to tell her boyfriend that she had been lost in a William daydream.


Lindsey regarded his girlfriend for a moment before he let a knowing look cross his face. Why hadn’t he figured it out sooner? After all this time he should have been able to recognize what that distant look was from a mile away.


“Oh my god, it’s him,” Lindsey stated knowingly.


“What?!” was all Buffy could manage to say.


Lindsey let out a sardonic chuckle. “You know for as many times as I’ve seen them, I really should have figured it out sooner, guess I’m loosin’ my touch,” he commented somewhat bitterly.


“As many times as you’ve seen what,” Buffy asked irritably.


“A William induced trance,” Lindsey stated matter of factly.


Buffy outright laughed in his face. “You know what Lindsey, I think you’ve finally lost it,” she retorted indignantly as a cover.


“Then tell me I’m wrong, tell me you weren’t thinkin’ about him,” Lindsey all but pleaded.


Buffy just stood there in silence. She had never out and out lied to Lindsey and she didn’t think now was the time to start.


Lindsey shook his head and let out a crestfallen chuckle. “This song and dance we’ve been doing for the last five years now, it’s becoming old hat Buffy. I know you’ve got a lot of shit to still sort through with Will, but for God’s sake Buffy, do it already.” He told her dejectedly. He knew he sounded weak, but at that point, he really didn’t care. “I love you Buffy. God only knows why, but I do, I just don’t think I have enough to go around for the both of us.”


Buffy felt tears begin to sting her eyes. “Lindsey I don’t know what to say,” she whispered.


“Tell me you don’t still love him, tell me that he doesn’t still have your heart in his hands, just tell me anything to reassure me you still want to be with me,” Lindsey pleaded desperately.


Buffy let her tears fall. “Lindsey you know I care about you, but I just can’t tell you what you want to hear. Maybe someday, but not now,” Buffy replied softly.


Lindsey took a ragged breath and swallowed the knot that had formed in his throat. “I’ve been waiting for a long time already Buffy and I just hope you figure out when that someday is while I’m still around to hear it,” Lindsey replied mournfully, hanging his head.


Buffy reached out and cupped Lindsey’s cheek. “I promise as soon as I figure it out, you’ll be first to know, but until then I just need you to understand I can’t tell you what my heart won’t let me feel.”


“I guess I don’t really have a choice now do I?” Lindsey replied with a weak smile.


Buffy leaned in and kissed Lindsey on the cheek. “I’m sorry, but this is who I am.”


Lindsey wrapped his arms around Buffy and kissed the top of her head. “I know.” He replied sadly. He wanted to pretend that his unrequited feelings didn’t bother him, but he wasn’t fooling anyone.


Buffy pulled from Lindsey’s embrace and wiped at her tears. She didn’t want to believe Lindsey’s brutally honest words, but God help her if it wasn’t all true.


With a dejected look, Lindsey turned to walk away from the girl he loved but would never love him in return.


“Lindsey wait,” Buffy called out to him.


Lindsey turned around and looked at Buffy with vacant eyes.


“I do want to be with you Lindsey, but I just don’t know how we can get around this,” she tried to explain.


Lindsey shook his head and let a sad smile curl at his lips. “The way we always do Buffy, I pretend like it never happened.” And then he walked away.


Buffy closed her eyes and fought back her tears. Why did this have to be happening now? She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs she was so damn frustrated. She had all these feelings swirling around in her head and in her heart that she thought she might actually go insane.


Shaking away all her thoughts, Buffy plastered on the fake smile that she wore more often than not, and went to the stage where her band members were waiting for her. She was going to make sure tonight was one no one would ever forget.



Thanks to DaniD, jenny, MidnightGirl, caatje, Kimber, Brat, and anon for the reviews, you guys rock! Also thanks to gotkona for the amazing beta job. Couldn't have done this with out you sweets! Kuddos!





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