Buffy’s feet wouldn’t move. Standing outside the exit, she breathed slowly trying to calm herself.
‘All you have to do is move one foot in front of the other’ she mentally advised herself.
Her legs began to feel heavy, every word Angel had said struck a nerve. She knew of the history of Spike with Dru.
She had watched them before; every competition they entered she would try and catch them dance. It was breathtaking to watch.
‘What’s happening to me? I don’t settle for second best. I go out and get what I want. I want Spike; I love him.’
“I love him.”
Those three words escaped from her mouth, a smile curving her lips. She wasn’t going to let Angel’s words take effect. In fact, she should just go back in the club and find Spike.
Turning around she steadily walked back towards the door. Taking a deep breath, she reached for the handle. The door opened with a force that it hit her on the head causing her to fall backwards onto the floor.
Spike came through the door and saw Buffy sitting on the floor clutching her head.
“Buffy are you alright?”
She looked up to see Spike kneeling down in front of her. He leaned forward and pulled her hands from her head.
“Let me see the damage.”
He winced as he saw the cut across her forehead; he carefully touched the lump that had started to form around the cut.
“Maybe we should take you to the hospital? And then after you can tell me what happened tonight?”
“I’m fine, it’s only a little cut, and anyway it’s not like it’s that important. Angel cornered me in the club while I was waiting for you. He said how you and Dru had this special connection and that no matter what relationship you would be in you would always go back to her.”
Spike could feel the muscle in his cheek tense. Angel was just another small problem on a very long list. And the fact that he had cornered her to wear her down pissed him off.
Grabbing her by the shoulder, he pulled her closer, his eyes meeting hers.
“Buffy let me explain something to you. I met Dru when I was very young. We began as dancers on the same circuit. We banded together both coming from the same country and we eventually fell in love. It soon became obvious that she was more interested in the competitions than me.
I wanted more. I wanted to make a proper commitment, settle down, have a family, maybe set up my own studio. So I finally asked her to make a choice, the dancing or me.”
Buffy thought for a moment, he seemed to give love so easily. It was obvious he was hurt badly and he still bared the scars.
“Let me guess she chose the dancing?”
“Yes she chose the dancing. When I asked her why, she said love wasn’t enough to give up her dream.”
Buffy stared at his haunted face; he shook his head as if trying to dispel the painful memories. She knew what it was like to love someone and not have them fully love you back. Lifting her hand, she rested it carefully on his shoulder, her thumb softly caressing in a soothing gesture.
“Spike, I need to tell you in the beginning all I wanted was a dancer to win the competition. I didn’t have time for romantic attachments. All they brought was confusion; my heart is a place that is not easy to access. But you had to just keep pushing in there, you have such passion and tenderness and at times I felt so overwhelmed I felt my heart would burst.”
He opened his mouth to speak only to be stopped by Buffy placing a finger to halt any words.
“I’m so afraid of being hurt, it’s happened to me before and I just don’t think I can cope with that pain again.”
“I won’t do that...”
“Shhh, let me finish. I’m a big girl Spike and at the end of the day I have to learn to fall in love regardless of the consequences. What I’m trying to say is I’m ready to fall.”
“I love you.”
The words bubbled forth from Spike’s lips in a rush that Buffy had to blink twice to make sure she wasn’t imagining it. She looked at him and he was just as shocked as she was.
“Um, what did you just say?”
Her hand dropped from the place on his shoulder and he suddenly frowned from the loss of contact.
She’s gonna run off I know it. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. I mean I’m not the most tactful bloke on the planet. I mean look at her she’s ready to bolt and leave me standing in the bloody alleyway.
“Spike did you just say you loved me?”
“Well yes. But I know about the whole jumping in at the deep end….”
“I love you too.”
The mumbled reply seemed so clear as he stopped talking, he looked up and watched as she smiled.
Spike knew this was the moment. That moment you have that flash of clarity, everything seems so clear. Problems and worries disappear and this was the moment he was waiting for. He loved someone with his entire soul and that person loved him back.
It wasn’t just words this time, he could see it in her smile, and in her eyes as they shined back at him.
Spike unconsciously took a step forward, his hands already outstretched cradling her face. Leaning slightly he placed a kiss on her forehead, careful to avoid the cut. His lips skimmed down her temple and pressed softly against her cheek.
Buffy took that moment to move her head slightly, his kiss catching the corner of her mouth. Smiling against the kiss, she opened her mouth and dragged her tongue across his lips.
Groaning into her mouth, they kissed in the dark alleyway, hands and lips grasping what they could.
Buffy felt like she was on fire, her skin felt hot. Spike was moving his hands expertly across her body. She had to gain some semblance of control but she couldn’t think straight. When his thumb brushed across her breast, the gasp caught deep within her throat.
Pushing him carefully away she stepped back, his hair was now mussed from her fingers releasing the curls. His lips were swollen and inviting.
Drinking in his dishevelled appearance she placed her finger in her mouth and sucked slowly, removing her finger she placed it on his lower lip.
“Let’s see how long it takes us to get home?”
With a scream, she ran as he chased her down the street.