Buffy stared at the scene in front of her amazed, not able to believe where he had brought her. She turned her gaze to him, her eyes shining with excitement. “ Why did you want to show this to me? I mean, it’s such an amazing secret and how did you know I love her?!”
Spike grinned. She looked absolutely amazing when she was so happy. “ Well, I deemed you worthy of knowing this little secret,” He winked at her as she ducked her head shyly and blushed. “ and I don’t usually go for her style but she’s actually pretty good, kinda guessed you’d like her too.”
She turned back to look at the crowds that were rushing into the fenced area, a stage elaborately built in the front and center. One of her favourite new singers was tuning her acoustic guitar on stage. She heard that there was going to be a concert but didn’t really pay any attention to it since she hadn’t planned on going but now she stood on a building observing it right before it got underway. It sure it wasn’t the same as being right there and watching her but they still had an amazing view and it was more private and roomy. Not to mention cozy, he had set up a blanket to sit on and some food.
She watched as he sat down and patted the spot beside him. She gladly sat down and smiled happily as the singer said something into the microphone and started to strum the cords of her first song on the guitar with the rest of the band.
You would be everything that I want
If I wanted it but I don't
And I won’t be changing my mind
So try to convince me if you can
But you better understand
That I’ve heard all of those little boy lines
She turned her gaze once more to him searching his face, she didn’t quite know what for yet, but there was something about him that called to her in some way. “ So, what made you come up to me that night and use that incredibly lame line? Or was that your friend Angel?” She grinned haughtily when he had the decency to look embarrassed.
“ Ah, I’d rather not say.” He gave her a sideways glance hoping she wouldn’t ask any further. Mentioning Angel just brought the bet to the front of his mind and he didn’t want to think about it now.
She gave him a little playful shove. “ Aww, come on. I had to listen to all those lame lines that night, not to mention many nights before that one from various other guys. I think I deserve some kind of closure on the matter. You know, to put it in the past and all that junk.” Propping herself up on her elbows while leaning back onto the blanket she gave him her conspiratorial look. That one that said ‘do what I want or you’ll really regret it.’
He sighed. “ I was being my usual overly confident self and tried to show Wesley how to get a girl, of course I was also being a smart ass and went for you since I knew he wanted to talk to you.”
She raised her eyebrows in response. “ So, you never really did notice me in the first place, just being petty huh?” She grinned as he scratched the back of his neck looking a little ashamed.
“ Well yes and no. I did notice you, kind of hard not to you’re gorgeous.” He tucked a stray peace of hair behind her ear as she blushed.”
The inside of her head was screaming at her. This is so not of the good! There will be no touching no matter how seemingly innocent! What does he think he’s doing?!’ But the other part of her, the incredibly flattered part, was telling it to shut the hell up.
She blushed, she couldn’t help but notice how that felt so normal by now when she was around him. It was like a sport to him. “ Uh, thanks.”
“ So, why’d you move to Sunnyhell?” He frowned slightly when he saw her visibly shrink back, getting a far off look on her face, he could tell this was a sore subject.
She glanced over at him, she had this overwhelming feeling that she could trust him, and it would feel good to tell someone else instead of keeping it in all the time. You share the happiness, why not share the pain?
“ My mom died.” She watched as his face softened and he took one of her hand in his stroking it with his thumb.
“ I’m sorry.” She just nodded.
“ Yeah, thanks. I used to be quite the little shallow bitch back then, most of the time at least. This one night I needed to get home from the mall and my mom said she would be there on time. When she wasn’t I called her and we had a little argument. Well, actually it was more like me telling her angrily that she was going to make me late for a date and all that crap. The last thing she said to me was that she loved me and I just closed the phone.” She pulled her legs to her chest hugging them, not daring to look at Spike. “ She got hit by a drunk driver while she was on her way to get me, it was all my fault. God I’m such a heartless bitch.”
She tried to hide the tears that flooded to her eyes as if on reflex after reminiscing about that night. A few managed to slip down her cheeks and she knew now that he had seen the tears, her pain, and she didn’t know if she liked it. Didn’t know if she liked people seeing her vulnerable because it left her wide open for anything, and she didn’t need that she had become what she was now to keep from being vulnerable.
Spike patted her back gently, not she what he should do, when she didn’t push him away he scooted closer and took her in his arms as she quietly sniffled. “ You’re not heartless Buffy, and you’re rarely a bitch.” He smiled when that elicited a soft giggle from her.
More seriously, he tilted her chin up to make her look at him. “ It by no means was you fault that she died. It was the fault of the drunk bastard who was driving the other car.”
The tears stopped falling but she never moved away. “ My dad doesn’t seem to agree with you. Ever since that night, it’s like I’ve lost both my parents.” She kept her gaze from his, not wanting to know what she’d see.
“ Well then he’s a bloody moron. It’s not your fault luv, and you shouldn’t feel that way. Your mum wouldn’t want you too, and I bet she’s proud of what you turned out to be.”
She smiled half heartedly. Yeah, Joyce would be very proud of her, taking all daddy has to dish out and not bother to defend herself.
“ You’re beautiful, kind, strong, bloody stubborn you are too, and your amazing. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” He gave her a comforting hug before she moved away slightly.
“ Thanks.” She looked down at her hands, playing with her fingers. “ Guess I ruined the evening, huh?”
He chuckled. “ Not at all pet. Come on, lets dance.” He stood up and brushed his hands off on his jeans as a slower song came on.
Buffy smiled taking his hand and standing up. She nervously placed her hands around his neck and laid her head on his chest, smiling when he put his hands just a little bit higher on her waist so she would be more comfortable.
This night wasn’t turning out to be so bad, he hadn’t made any lewd remarks, he’d listened to her and he hadn’t made a pass at her once. She pushed the slight disappointment down. She was slowly going crazy. But right here, right now, when they were just dancing comfortably in silence it felt right.
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A/N: The little bit of a song in this chapter was Cheyenne Kimball - Breaking Your Heart.