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I haven't forgotten this story, just been very busy. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 5

Buffy

He’s kind of smouldering as he watches me make my way back to the table. How does a cold, dead vampire manage to look so hot? His eyes are practically glowing and he never takes them off me once. I take it nice and slow, doing the sexy walk, trying not to fall off these ridiculously high heels. Only for you, Spike, I think to myself. Only for you.

“This is what you’ve been hiding all night?” he says as I slide myself into the seat next to him.

“You like?” I say, crossing my legs.

“Yeah, I like.” He takes a good look, smirking all over his face. “Did you buy it specially for me?”

He folds his arms behind his head, lies back, legs open and sprawled out in front of him. Trying to look casual as he asks the question, but I know what he wants to hear, and how much he needs to hear it. And heck, it’s the truth.

“Yeah, bought it specially for you.”

“Because I’m worth it?” There’s that sexy tongue again. Drives me crazy when he punctuates his sentences with that slow slide over his bottom lip. Very distracting, so I tear my eyes away.

“Don’t push it Mr.” I tell him, backing up my words by poking his knee with my shoe.

“You look gorgeous, love.”

I know a thing or two about lightning reactions, but this guy can move. In the blink of an eye he’s pulled me over, twisted me round and I’m sitting on his lap, but with my back to him. He opens his legs so that I slide down onto the seat between them, one hand on my belly, fingers splayed out and the other pushing my hair away from the back of my neck.

Then he shows me just what that tongue is capable of. I’m a wriggling, giggling mess by the time he’s finished and yeah, it’s heating up all over again. There’s always that point where it goes deadly serious. Where the laughter stops and we just look at each other.

God, the things you can say with a look. I could get off just on that. Get off on the anticipation alone. And knowing what he’s capable of makes it even worse. I’ve got pictures in my head now to back up the heated promises in his gaze.

But there’s a slightly nervous edge to the playfulness and he suddenly tips my head back and stares so hard at me that I can’t tear myself away, even though I want to. I know what he wants to talk about, but he knows that he’s had as much as he’s going to get of that tonight.

“Heard what you said,” he tells me quietly.

“Me too,” I say in return.

He laughs and closes a hand over a breast, leans back in to nuzzle at my neck and bites his way lightly to my shoulder.

“Guess I should quit while I’m ahead then,” he says.

“Spike,” I begin, trying to twist around, but he won’t let me. Slides his hand up until it’s covering my mouth.

“Don’t let’s spoil it,” he says.

And I don’t miss the resignation in his tone. The forced jollity as he asks me what I’d like to eat, ‘cos after all that hard work just now I’ve gotta be hungry, right?

“Dead right,” I tell him reaching for the champagne bottle. I up-end it and take a deep swig then dissolve into a choking heap on Spike’s lap as the bubbles catch in my throat and nose. Cue a nice slow back rub from him as I get that under control and then I start to lose it again. I already feel sexy in this outfit, but his fingers on my bare skin as his hand slips under the hem of the blouse make me feel something I only get with him.

He makes me feel desire, for him. Only has to touch me and I want to drag him out to the car and do what we just did all over again. And he makes me feel desirable, because he wants me so much. Every look, every touch, every word sends the same clear message.

I’m listening Spike, but I can’t say that other thing again. Not yet. Not while you’re so close to me.

“It’s okay love,” he says almost as if I’d spoken it out loud. “It’s enough that you said it once. I can wait.”

I just nod and move myself back against him, my butt against his ever hard cock.

“So, you like the outfit?” I ask him as I keep moving.

“You’re a bloody fantasy, love.” He whispers it very close to my ear. “You sure you’re for real?”

“Oh, I’m real enough, Spike, can’t you feel it?”

He’s got his both hands between my legs now, doing the same to me with his fingers as I’m doing to him. And I’m not just talking about two bodies touching and rubbing together. Not just talking about friction and heat. He steals my will and I steal his, until we’re both slaves to each other. Slaves to this. Guess you could call it an addiction, because it’s getting to be something I can’t live without. Think I’ve proved that to myself. But was I right to call this love?

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Spike

Yeah, I should quit while I’m ahead. Always a good policy and one I’ve never heeded much in my life. Heck, I’m still gobsmacked that she said it at all, even though I wasn’t really meant to hear it.

And why do I want her so much? Can’t just be the thrill of the chase though maybe it was to start with. Yeah, she’s beautiful and sexy and surprising. And yes, she seems to want me back, now. Took a bit of persuading, but it’s my lap she’s sitting on, my fingers inside her. She’s still here, making all the right noises, even though she doesn’t have to be. This girl doesn’t do anything she doesn’t want to, so that’s got to say something, right? Will I ever know the answer?

“Make yourself bloody useful,” I tell her as I take off my coat. “Feed me some grapes, or something.”

She giggles and leans forward, grabs hold of a bunch and twists back so she’s holding them over my face, just out of reach. I have to stretch up for them and pick them off one by one with my teeth. She likes making me beg. Gonna have you begging by the end of the evening, love. You’ll see. Just thought of a much more fun way to eat grapes than this.

I grab her wrist and bring it down so I can pick off half a dozen grapes and then before she can stop me my fingers are inside her again, and so are the grapes as I push them into her one by one. She gives a surprised squeak and I can feel those slayer muscles clamping around my fingers.

“That’s right, love,” I tell her. “You just keep ‘em there. Gonna get real hungry later on.”

She’s so cute when she’s trying to look shocked. “Just imagine how that’s going to feel, when I get them out. Ask real nice and I’ll do that for you,” I tell her and I have to add 'wickedly' here, because right now I feel just like the big bad wolf with little red riding hood sitting on my lap.

“Shall we dance?” I ask her.

“I can’t,” she says looking down at herself, her eyes widening.

“Sure you can,” I say pushing her up in front of me. “Just put those slayer muscles to good use.” I wink and pull her onto the dance floor and into my arms, and my hands drop to her backside as I fit her against me. And we fit well, gotta say she was made for me, cheesy as that sounds. Everything about her seems to fit into, or against a part of me. Even when she hated me, it was perfectly mutual. Perfect adversaries and perfect lovers. What we were, and what we are.

And I love it when she lets me hold her like this, so I can feel her pressed against me, rest my face against her hair. Love the way she relaxes and lets me take over and set the pace. There’s nothing for her to do but just go with it. After a while she’s lovely and loose and I can indulge that little fantasy I have that she’s mine all mine. I’m getting a lot of envious looks from all the blokes around, and some of the women. Don’t think she’s noticed that, but I can’t help a smug smile at the way they’re lusting after her. Yeah, when she’s like this, she’s mine.

Well, a bloke can dream, can’t he?

Suddenly she starts to look a little uncomfortable.

“What’s wrong love?” I ask her, wondering if I’ve pushed this too far, whether she’s getting cold feet over all this.

“Think they’re falling out,” she whispers, urgently.

“What are, pet,” I say being deliberately evasive.

“The grapes,” she says pulling down her skirt. “Spike, you’ve got to do something.”

“Do what, love?” Boy can I do innocent when I want to.

“You know,” she says, and I can feel those muscles clenching from here. “What you said you were going to do.”

“And that was?” I take her hand and twirl her round, then pull her back in. She gives a small shriek and bats me on the arm.

“You know what I’m talking about.” She’s glaring and then she changes tack. Her finger’s on my forearm trailing lightly from wrist to elbow, her eyes are shaded and heavy lidded and her voice turns back into little Joan again. “Aren’t you the teensie-weensiest bit hungry? she asks.

I glance over to our table. “Yeah, could be. Shame to waste all that food. Want to go and eat then?”

“Thought you might like to,” she says catching the ends of my fingers with hers and tugging me from the dance floor with the lightest of touches.

“You want me to do it here?” I ask when we reach our table.

“Not really.” She looks around. “Think I’d rather just enjoy you in private.”

“Yeah, me too.” I grab the coats and stick the cork back into the champagne bottle. She’s gathering up food and wrapping it in napkins.

“Picnic,” she explains. Then adds. “You have paid for all this, haven’t you?”

“No,” I say. So she looks around again and then shoves the bulging napkins into her bag, along with the champagne.

“What are we waiting for?” she says holding out her hand.

And suddenly, I’m bloody ravenous.

-------------------------------------------------------

Buffy

It’s nice to get out of there. Glad I had the experience, but I’m not sure it’s something I want to do again. And Spike seems to know how I’m feeling. Seems to be able to fine-tune himself to me when we’re together. It’s a bit spooky really, but that’s vampires for you, I suppose. Or maybe it’s just vampires in love?

“Not regretting it, are you?” he asks me as we make our way to the car.

“No,” I tell him. “Guess I really didn’t want to share this.”

“I get that you don’t want to be seen with me,” he says it quietly and opens the car door like a proper gentleman, which he must have been at one time.

That’s part of it, I have to admit. The worry that someone might see us together, and doing that. But it’s not really why I wanted to leave.

“You know how it is for me, Spike,” I say when he’s sitting in the driver’s side. “But it wasn’t really that. It was more…” how do I put this? “More that I didn’t want to share that with anyone. It’s too private.”

“So you’re ashamed then?”

“Didn’t say that, Spike. What I meant was that I want it to be just me and you, and no one else. Don’t need anyone else when I’m with you.”

He leans over and gives me one of his searing kisses. Got those down to a fine art. His mouth is on mine, hard and swift, and then he’s starting the engine.

“Where do you want to go?” he asks as he leans one arm across the back of my seat and reverses with a screeching of tyres.

It’s midnight so we have a couple of hours, but that’s all. Got to get back to my real life some time. but not yet.

“Want to have a picnic,” I tell him. “Somewhere romantic?”

“You’ve got it,” he says roaring out of the parking lot. “Gonna have ourselves a bloody feast.”

I squeeze my legs together both in anticipation of what he’s going to feast on, and because the grapes really do feel as if they’re going to fall out and I don’t want them to do that. Want him to do that.

I flick on the radio and lean into the leather seat, tipping back my head. Weird to see Spike in a car like this.

“What happened to the De Soto?” I ask him.

“Still got her,” he says. “Didn’t think you’d want to be seen in her though.”

“And you’d be right,” I say with a laugh. “It’s strange, you know, seeing you like this. Flash car, money.”

“Guess you first met me at a bad time,” he says with a grin. “I’ve had money before, it’s never been a problem really.”

“Don’t want to go there,” I say holding up my hands. “Please tell me you got this by working twelve hour shifts on some assembly line.”

“Hate to burst your bubble, but you’re dating a vampire love.”

“Dating? Is that what we’re doing?”

He shrugs. “Call it what you like, but it’s not just fucking, is it?”

“No, Spike.” I can give him that. “It’s not just for the fucking.” Then I add wickedly. “But the fucking is nice.”

He puts his foot down and neither of us talk for the next fifteen minutes. I hope he’s not taking us too far as I don’t want to waste this time driving. Been thinking about what he promised, and what we did back at the club and with every minute that passes I just want him more and more. Then he pulls up by the side of the lake and we spend exactly thirty seconds appreciating the effort he’s put into the romantic part of my request.

“Got you a moon,” he says peering out of the windshield.

“It’s nice,” I reply.

“Beautiful reflections in the water,” he says.

“Stunning,” I reply.

“Will that do?” he says, looking at me.

“Thought you were never going to stop talking,” I say, hitching up my skirt and climbing into the extremely roomy back seat. I lie back. “Thought you said you were hungry?” I say holding out my arms.

“Bloody starving,” he says and then he climbs over his seat and attacks me with his mouth.

------------------------------------------------

Spike

“Stop bloody wriggling,” I tell her. I’m holding her thighs and I dip my tongue deep inside her, curling it around another grape. Making sure I touch every part I can reach before I suck it out of her. Every time I do it I can feel little orgasms rippling through her. My finger’s on her clitoris, helping her along and I’m building her up nice and slow. Making sure each one’s just a bit more intense than the last one.

“Get them all,” she says throwing back her head as another one washes over her.

“Will do, love,” I say with a chuckle. “And quit worrying, I’m an expert at this, you just lie back and enjoy.”

She tries to sit up, but I push her back down and put a bit more effort into the next one. Time to make her speechless, I think. Show her just what an expert I am. And I’m really evil when I do this. Know just how to draw it out until she’s begging for bleeding mercy. And anyone who knew her would be shocked to hear the things she comes out with when she’s like this.

That’s the last grape and while she’s still up there I’m opening my pants and filling her a different way. Straight in, right up to the hilt and she’s always so ready for me. Always wants everything I have.

Only takes a few strokes to get both of us off again and then she’s lying there with her arm flung across her eyes and I’m beside her, shifting her against me so we don’t roll off the seat.

“Jesus Christ, Spike,” she says as she fights for breath. “Give me some warning when you’re going to do that.”

I can’t help grinning. May not be the most appropriate thing to do, but it’s just a guy thing, I guess. Can’t help feeling proud that I can do that to her.

“Love the blouse,” I tell her, as I flick open the first button. “Very very nice,” I say, opening the next one. Then it’s the clasp on her very expensive looking bra.

“She gives a satisfied little moan as I cover her pretty little breasts with feather-light kisses, arches her neck as I scrape my teeth over the mark I made earlier. Slayer healing means that it’s already starting to close, but I only have to suck to draw blood again. She doesn’t stop me, and I only do it a couple of times. Still don’t know if she really enjoys it or not, but I can’t resist, and as long as she’s not stopping me, then I’ll keep doing it.

“That’s me satisfied,” I tell her as I lie back and pull her closer. And I really mean it. Right now I’m feeling content and relaxed because everything I want is right here. I’m learning, you see. She’s here in my arms and there’s nothing else. Not going to waste this time worrying about how I’ll feel when she’s not with me any more. It’s too precious.

“You must be hungry,” I say. “Didn’t you want to have a picnic?”

“Yeah,” she says in a sleepy voice. She’s snuggling into my shoulder, getting comfortable and I’d like nothing more than to spend the night here with her sleeping and me just holding her and feeling her near me, but we can’t. Gotta give her back sometime, and soon.

“Buffy,” I say with real regret. “Don’t fall asleep, love. Gotta go soon.”

She sighs and lies still for a few more moments before pushing herself up onto her elbows and looking at me.

It hits me suddenly. Just seeing her like this, gazing at me, her hair a mess, her breasts barely covered by that sinful shirt, remembering the words she said back at the club. I do love her, but I’ve never realised how much until now. One of those moments of staggering revelation that hits you in the gut. Sweetly poignant but sharp and cruel.

Look what you could have, a voice says. In another world, in another reality, you and her could do this all the time. There’d be nothing or no one to stop you.

It’s my punishment, I realise. One hundred and twenty years of being a bad - ass vampire and I always knew I’d be going to hell sometime. Just thought I’d have to die again first. Didn’t think it would be coming to me, here on earth. Or that it would sit so closely to this vision of heaven lying beside me.

“Are you crying?” she asks, her face turning serious.

“No.” I probably don’t sound very convincing as I turn my face away and she doesn’t push it. Waits quietly until I’m ready. And I’m not going to cry, because what good would that do? I’ve spent enough time feeling sorry for myself.

I sit up and reach for her bra, pull it back into place and do up the clasp. “Come on,” I say, “let’s have that picnic.”

She does up her buttons while I get out of the car and fetch a blanket from the trunk. I set it all up and then, with a flourish, invite her to join me. She shivers as she steps from the car so I reach for her coat, but she shakes her head and picks up my leather duster instead.

“Always loved this coat,” she says with a grin as she slips it on.

“Looks good on you, love,” I tell her and we both sit down beside the lake, under that stunning moon. She eats and I watch her. It makes her blush when I watch her so intently because she knows what’s on my mind.

How could I resist? Got the moonlight, got the girl and I know what I want to spend the next few hours doing. Thought I was satisfied. Thought I’d had enough of her. That feeling never lasts long. I just want her too much.

She sighs in grateful resignation when I lay her down. And I do it real slow. Cover every inch of her, touch every part of her. I call in every one of her reserves, break down every one of her barriers until there’s nothing left to come between us. I make her show me things she’d rather keep hidden, and she submits to it all and gives me everything but the one thing I’m desperate to hear.

Things this intense are hard to put into words. We pack up in silence and all the way home neither of us speaks. It’s a time for thinking, processing what’s happened. Making sense of where this has taken us, because every thing we do takes us to some new place. I drop her off at the corner where we met earlier, hand her her bag and then she just stands there awkwardly, neither of us knowing what to say.

If this had been a normal date, I could kiss her goodbye, tell her what a lovely evening I’d had and ask her when she’d like to do it again.

But what do I say to her? Thanks for the fuck? Loved the sexy little game? The clothes? It’s becoming less about that, and we both know it.

I shrug, she does too. She mutters a quiet, “thanks,” and I press my lips together and nod.

“I’ll go now,” she says looking lost and small.

I suddenly want to cry again so I wave her away, tell her to go back to her mom who needs her, and I wind up the window and start up the engine. I’m always left trying to work out if the few hours of bliss that she gives me are worth this. This horrible feeling that every time we say goodbye might be the last time I'll ever see her.

I pull away and when I check in the rear view mirror, she’s still there, unmoving, and watching me go.

---------------------------------------------------

Buffy

I don’t want to go back to my life. I just want to get in the car with him and I want him to drive and keep driving until we fall off the edge of the earth. That’s what I want to do.

Would it have hurt me if I’d told him? I said it was true, and I think I meant it. And if I meant it, then why can’t I tell him? Why am I so afraid of three little words? They’re not going to change anything, except that they will probably make him the happiest man alive and it might make me feel happy too. Is that what I’m scared of?
Too scared to be happy? Wow, that’s sad.

I stand on the sidewalk and I watch the car until it turns the corner and is out of sight. He drives away slowly, almost as if he’s still hoping that the impossible’s going to happen and that’s when I realise that I’m still wearing his coat. Can’t be seen with this, still not ready for that.

I throw off my shoes and take off after the car, and I swear that when I did, all I wanted to do was give back the coat. I round the corner and panic because it’s nowhere in sight and then I see it, stopped at the traffic lights, way ahead. It’s the only car on the road, but he can’t possibly see me because he’s so far away and I almost give up. I stop to catch my breath as the lights turn green and the car pulls away again.

And that’s when it hits me. How would I feel if this was the last time I ever saw him? What would I have to regret if he just drove away now and out of my life?

Only one thing.

I suck in a deep breath and take off again. Spike never stops at traffic lights, unless he has to, and there he is again. No other cars on the road, and him sitting there waiting for the lights to change. Or waiting for something.

Mom and Dawn need me, and I’m the chosen one and all that, but I need stuff too. Is this so selfish of me? To want to know love and to find out if I’m capable of giving it.

He must have seen me because the car doesn’t move even though the lights turn green. I slow down as I approach and the electric window glides down. He turns and the look of hope is only there for a split second. As I hand him his coat he tries to hide the disappointment.

“Nearly walked off with this,” I say as I bundle it through the window.

He lets it drop to the seat and the smile he manages doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“I could have fetched it pet, didn’t have to run after me.” He puts his hand on the gearshift. “Be seeing you then?”

“No, wait,” I say opening the door. “I did. Have to run after you, that is. There’s something I need to tell you.”

He nods and I get into the car. “Left my bag on the street corner,” I say with a nervous laugh. “Can we go back for it?”

“No problem, love,” he says, and swings the car into a U turn.

“So, he says and he’s as worried as I’ve ever seen him look. “Apart from the coat, what’s so important that you have to chase my car, barefoot down the road then?”

He thinks I’m going to finish with him, finish this. I’ve never seen him look so scared. But I can put it right, with just a few words. And when I say them I mean them as much as I’ve ever meant anything in my life.

“You are,” I say, looking right at him. “You are, Spike.”

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I think I'm going to leave this story here. It seems to have come to a natural end and I hope, has answered any questions left open from The Interview.
Thank you everyone for reading. I will be finishing Can I Keep You? next, and then I'd like to write a hard hitting, sexy kidnap fic. Buffy and Spike, danger, lots of intense and conflicting emotions. Anyone up for that? Too many around all ready? With Angel coming to an end it's hard to know whether there's going to be much interest in Spuffy fanfic in the future. I'd love to hear what people think of that.

I'll be getting a website soon, if all goes according to plan so I'll have a home at last. thinking of calling it One Step Beyond.

bye for now, and again very many thanks for reading

candy





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