William loitered behind Buffy as she stood in the doorway to her sister’s apartment. Buffy continued on in while William stood back and looked around the apartment. He noticed that the room hadn't changed any since he'd been there that day almost three weeks before, he even noticed a few things he hadn't before. Joyce and Buffy both stood by the couch which sat almost in the middle of the living room. Also he noticed that the windows reached from the floor to the ceiling, with heavy curtains to cover them. William smiled knowing that had probably been the reasoning for Faith to get the apartment. She had always liked big windows, so she could watch the world. The curtains though were so the world couldn't see her, that's at least how he saw it. As he continued to look around he realized how much his life had changed since his first visit here, and it all had started here. He wondered if that was why he now felt like an outsider standing in Faith's apartment. William put it behind him though, he was here to lend support to Buffy and Joyce. So he took the moving boxes he'd been carrying and set them in the living room. Across the room he saw Joyce and Buffy talking about where to start.

Although the last couple of days had been a bit confusing for Buffy, she was getting used to the fact that Joyce wasn't her biological mother. Buffy had gone and talked to Joyce the morning after William had found her on Giles’ front steps. After several hours of conversation between the two women, they had decided to take it slow. Joyce had told Buffy what she could about Buffy's biological mother, but there wasn't much Joyce knew. Although Joyce had offered to help Buffy find her mom, Buffy had decided to let things settle down first.

Buffy confided in William that she still felt hurt and betrayed because she hadn't been told earlier. She went on to note that she was putting her feelings a bit to the side for now. When he had asked why she had simply said 'Joyce has lost one daughter already she doesn't need to lose another'. William took in the scene in front of him: Joyce was laughing at something that had been said, and Buffy was giggling non stop. William waited until they had calmed down before addressing Joyce.

"Mrs. Summers, where do you want me to start?" William felt bad as he watched Joyce's expression turn from happy to the somber one that had been haunting her face these last few weeks.

"How about starting in the library. Faith didn't keep much there but photo albums and her school books." Joyce started to walk towards the bedroom then but stopped. "Oh, and William, if you see something that meant something to you, take it. I don't know what I will do with most of this, so..." She trailed off then and William gave her a nod that he understood. Joyce gave a thankful smile and turned to the fridge instead of continuing to the bedroom.

While Joyce worked on clearing out the kitchen, William walked towards the small alcove in the corner of the living room. He hadn't noticed it the time he had been at the apartment. Now as he looked at it, he knew that Faith had spent a lot of time there. There was a small bookcase in one corner and across from it lay a black beanbag chair. Above the bookcase was a peg board filled with pictures of all the gang. There was a low window right behind the beanbag chair that overlooked the sidewalk in front of the building. He could just picture Faith sitting there and making hilarious comments about the people as they walked past. William walked over and pulled the beanbag chair closer to the library, he figured he'd leave the pegboard for later. He sat down and started moving books into a box. He came across one that looked like a photo album but when he opened it, he found that it was a journal.

"Buffy!"

Buffy's voice came from somewhere across the apartment. "William, I’m a bit busy. What do ya need?"

"I found something you and your mom might not want packed up with the rest of this stuff." He heard an ‘eep’ and then something fall and crash followed by several curses. Moments later, Joyce entered the alcove, smiling. "So what was that?" William asked as he pointed towards where he thought the noise had come from.

"I'm not allowed to tell, but I'll say this; a spider and an arm full of glasses don't mix well when you are talking about Buffy."

William laughed when he imagined Buffy jumping sky high at seeing a spider and dropping the glasses. "So let me guess. There are no more glasses left, right?"

Joyce chuckled and nodded her head. "So what did you find?"

"This." William handed Joyce the book and then continued to place other books into the boxes.

William looked around for Joyce once he realized that she was still in the room but uncharacteristically quiet. She had moved over towards the window which left her back to him. He could see her reflection in the window and watched as her hand came up and wiped something from her face. Joyce closed the book and turned back to William.

"I'm going to go out for a bit. Will you and Buffy be okay here?"

"Yeah, sure."
****************************************************************************

Joyce sat down on a bench in the park located just around the block from Faith's apartment. It was a short walk so she hadn’t had to go far. She knew that if she took too long, either Buffy or William would come looking for her. Joyce leaned against the back of the bench and tried to relax. She wasn't sure what she was going to discover by reading her eldest daughter’s journal, but for some reason she felt she had to. Maybe it was to just bring peace to her own spirit that they hadn't ended on bad terms. Joyce flipped to the entry for the night of their fight, but that entry had nothing to do with what happened between them. When Joyce saw what it was about she had moved on. It was none of her business what had been going on between Faith and Xander. The next entry did pertain to the confrontation between Joyce and Faith, and it was dated a few days after it had occurred.

Well I did it again, I screwed everything up. Yep I did it this time. I don't remember much but I know I showed up on mom's doorstep. She wasn't too pleased to see me though. I know I must have said something awful because she hasn't called to check up on me yet. I can't even begin to wonder what I must have said. She's probably royally pissed right now and I don't blame her really. I know I messed it all up, I was clean and she had been proud of me. I just don't think I can keep making her proud. I'm so messed up, all I want is for this to go away and instead it keeps building. Why can't the world just disappear for a bit? I doubt if I'll ever get the answer. All I know is that I love my mom and my family but I just don't know how to face this. I don't know what to do.

The entry ended there and Joyce found herself wiping more tears from her face. She had known that life had been hard for her daughter but she hadn't realized just how much. She thought that Faith had been doing better, but her words indicated that she had actually been getting worse. Joyce thought it sounded like Faith had been ready to give up. Joyce hoped that hadn't been the case though; her daughter was strong and could fight anything. As Joyce reread the entry, she began to see another side of her daughter. A side Joyce knew Faith kept hidden from others. A side that showed Faith on a world spinning so fast that all she wanted was to get off of it. Joyce started to read on, but suddenly stopped when a specific word caught her eye.

'kill'

"Oh, dear Lord!" She quickly walked back toward the apartment. She had to show this to someone else and get their opinion.
****************************************************************************************************************

William stood up and stretched. His back had been in a curved position the whole time he had been going through and packing the books, and he couldn't help but feel as though his back would be stuck in that curved position for the rest of the day. Once out of the alcove, he noticed that Joyce had already left the room, so he went in search of Buffy.

William found her in the office sitting at the desk. "Whatcha doing?"

"Just going through the mail. Figured I'd leave the breakable stuff to you and mom."

"Oh yeah, heard you met a spider."

"Don't go there or I will bring up many of your past frights." Buffy gave him a look of warning.

"Tell me one time that you caught me scared of something."

"Well there was the time...no, that was Xander. Oh how about when...nope, that was Xander too. Huh. I can't remember right now, but I’ll remember something soon."

William chuckled. "Promises promises, Summers."

Buffy continued to go through the mail while William walked around the office looking at the few things that were there. A frame on the desk caught his eye. The frame held a picture of Faith, which looked to have been taken when she was about seven or eight. Buffy was also in the picture, sitting between Faith’s legs and clutching a pink pig, known as Mr. Gordo, in her arms.

"Buffy, when did you get that awful pig anyway?"

"That pig is not awful! He is a piece of my childhood, and I have had him since I was two. That picture was taken soon after I got him. Why'd you ask?"

"No real reason, just making conversation."

Buffy gave him a perturbed look. "William if you want to say something, just say it. Stop this run around. You've been doing it all day."

"I don't know what you’re talking about."

"Whenever you beat around the bush like this, it means you’re trying to ask about or say something, but you’re not sure how. That's what I’m talking about. So, are you going to talk to me or continue asking nonsensical questions?" Buffy turned in the swivel chair and gave him a look that brooked no argument.

"I talked with Xander last night, I hadn't wanted to tell you but I think you should know. The police found out that Faith had been at Riley's the day she died." William hadn't been sure how to broach the subject, but Buffy had picked up on the fact that he was holding something back. Now he watched her closely, hoping that she didn't take it too hard.

"You’re, joking...right?" She spoke through her laughter which William hadn't expected.

"No I'm not. What do you find funny 'bout this? I figured you'd be pissed or heartbroken, anything other than this."

"Oh, I'm pissed. I just find it funny that he accused me of cheating and he had actually been the one that was cheating. Very ironic isn't it?" Suddenly her face slackened with a thought and she soon was stuttering out a question. "He didn't...you know…. He wasn't the murderer, was he?"

Before William could answer, Joyce walked through the door to the office. William noticed that her face was a bit pale, and wondered why. All thought regarding Buffy's question was quickly tossed aside as he worriedly looked to Joyce. "Joyce, what's wrong?"

"I think you should read this then let me know what you think."

William took the journal and started to read.


Another one of those damn letters came today. I can't believe the nerve of this person. They keep repeating that I have taken someone from them. I have no idea who though. The latest one read like this:

Dear Bitch

You have taken him from me and you will pay. He is mine. I told him that once and I stand by that now. This is your last warning. You will not have him, I will kill you soon.

Until your blood covers my hands.


Can you believe the nerve of this person? I'm getting tired of these letters, they're just getting annoying. I have no idea who it is, though. I figure it's an ex or some jerk like that. Really though, whoever they are, they are pissing me off. I'm sick of the threats. I'd think about asking Xander for his help, but after what happened last week I figure he doesn't want to talk to me. Really though, I doubt if the letters will lead to anything. It's definitely not worth putting up with a pissed off Xander. Anyway I’m sure I can deal with whoever it is. I think it's time to go visit Willy's though and get drunk. I'll be Five by Five.



William looked up at Joyce and then back at the journal one last time before going over to the phone. He quickly dialed Xander's number.

Buffy was the first to speak. "What is going on? Mom, what was in the journal?"

William responded to Buffy’s inquiry when he noticed Joyce fumble with what to tell her. "Faith was getting death threat letters. Since none of us knew that Faith kept a journal, I doubt if Xander knows about it. In fact, I'm pretty sure he doesn't because I think he would have told me."

Suddenly the other line finally picked up. "Officer Harris here, how may I help you?"

"Hey Xan. I think you need to get over here and search Faith's apartment again. She was getting death threat letters."

"What! What do you mean death threats?"

"I mean we just found Faith's journal and there is an entry that says something about getting some sort of letter."

"So what makes you think that they were threatening to kill her."

"Oh maybe the phrase 'I will kill you' gave me a clue." William knew he was being sarcastic, but this was a new clue that would hopefully lead to finding Faith’s killer. All he wanted was for Xander to get his ass over to the apartment; but instead Xander was asking petty questions. "Listen mate, just get over here, okay?"

"Fine. I'll be there."

William hung up and turned back to Joyce and Buffy. "He'll be here soon, as long as the donuts don't lure him away." It was supposed to be funny, but it just came out flat. After everything that had been happening, it seemed like things just kept coming. He just wished that the Summers could move on, but he figured that wouldn't happen until Faith's killer was caught.

************************************************************************************************************

Xander sat at his desk. Looking through Faith’s journal, they had found close to ten entries that had said something about receiving a letter. In their search of the apartment, Xander and William had only found five letters. The earliest entry pertaining to any sort of letter was dated close to two years before. Xander couldn't believe that if it had been going on that long, Faith hadn't taken it more seriously. He thought that she was smarter than that. He wished she had taken it more seriously though, then maybe she'd be alive today.

The hardest thing to believe was that Faith had been cheating on William that long. Xander had really only thought that Faith’s infidelity had been a recent thing. He wondered how she had hidden it all this time from everyone. Had Faith been good at hiding it or had they all just not been paying attention? Xander hoped that they could find the answer though, and soon because he was tired of hearing some of the rumors going around the office about Faith. The officers assigned to the case were looking through everything again hoping to find some evidence as to who, besides William, Faith had been dating the last couple of years. Xander had already added himself to that list, but he doubted if it mattered. If all of this began at least two years prior to Faith’s death, then that meant Xander and Faith hadn't even been seeing each other at the time.

"Hey Harris! So you dated the hot stiff?"

All Xander saw was red as he looked up at his coworker, Warren Meers. Meers was as chauvinistic as a man could come, and ugly as hell. Meers had pissed Xander off many times because of the way he acted. Normally Xander could keep his anger in check, but this had been the month from hell and he was sick of holding it all in. Xander was out of the seat with his hands around Meers’ throat and pinned his body to the cubicle wall.

"Meers, I’d suggest you take your piddly little ass and get out of here before I skin you alive. Is that understood?"

"Oh, touchy about your whore, huh? I'm sorry. Thought you'd like to compare notes. See which one of us had the better payoff?"

Xander couldn't even see past the anger in him now and he let that all come out as his fist pummeled Meers’ face. Xander was only slightly aware that they had attracted an audience during their 'talk'. Xander slammed his fist into Meers’ gut and then knocked him to the floor. He looked down at the bloody mess that was Meers’ face.

"You ever talk that way about her again and you will end up with worse than a couple of punches. Understood?'

Meers nodded his head, but Xander had already started back to his desk. He was sick of sitting in this stuffy office just looking over file after file. He wasn't officially even supposed to be looking at the Summers’ file, but he had been anyway. He still felt guilty for not being able to save Faith. No matter what William had said that night in the bar, Xander couldn't dispel the guilt he felt. Xander grabbed his coat off the back of his chair and started walking towards the exit. It would be good to spend a night in with Willow. They hadn't done that in a while and Xander hoped it would take his mind off of his problems.

"Not so fast, Harris. Get your ass in my office now! We have some things to talk about." Xander thought about ignoring his boss. "NOW HARRIS!!"

It looked like Xander wouldn't be going home as early as he'd thought.

*******************************************************************************************************

In the darkness, the shadowed figure stood outside of the Summers’ house. She was pissed that after everything she had done, William still hadn't figured it out yet. William hadn't figured out that he was hers and no one else’s. She thought he had dismissed the hoity-toity little blonde back at the cemetery the day of the funeral, but no, she was back.

The shadow watched as ‘her’ guy put his arms around the blonde’s waist, and pulled her close for a kiss. Then they continued on up the walk and into the house. She had to show them. Show them all that they couldn't have him. Oh, she would teach them all not to steal what was hers. First off, the newest bitch that had sunk her claws into William needed to be dealt with.

The shadow diminished into the darkness once again and went on her way, but she'd be back and she would have what was hers.

******************************************************************************************

Buffy walked into the house and was suddenly pulled back against William. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight to his body. William leaned down and whispered in her ear.

"Are you ok?"

Buffy leaned back into his body and left him hold some of her weight. It had been a hard day for them all. She sighed. "I think I will be. It's just a lot to take in. I mean, I thought everything was getting back to a little bit of normal and then today happens." She turned around and looked him in the eyes.

"Do you really have to go tomorrow?"

She watched Williams eyes focus downwards, and he nodded his head. "Sorry, but yeah I do. I promised Wes that I would help him out. He and Fred are supposed to finally leave on their honeymoon. Fred would kill me if I caused them to put if off any longer. She's already had to wait six months because Wes's job. If she doesn’t get Wes on that plane, he will find another excuse to put it off. For some reason, that man seems to think that where he works would fall apart if he weren't there."

Buffy attempted to give off her most pouty look. "So that means no talking you into staying, huh?" She found herself pressed up against the wall as soon as the question was spoken.

"Ooh look at that lip. I'm going to get it." Get it he did, too. He grabbed it between his teeth and lightly nipped. Then he moved on to softly kiss the sting from the nips away. Then they were kissing passionately with a little petting here and there. Soon William pulled back to catch his breath.

Buffy was the first to speak. "I know you promised. I just wish sometimes you could be a little selfish." Buffy heard William chuckle, and felt it vibrate through his chest, where her head lay. Buffy felt his hands travel down her back and rest on her butt. William pulled her flush against him and gave a little wiggle. William’s actions almost distracted Buffy from what he said next, feeling how he had reacted to just the little bit of kissing and petting they'd done.

"Believe me baby, I wish I could be selfish. I'm really beginning to hate this little scenario of us
putting our relationship on hold."

It was Buffy's turn to chuckle now. She looked up at William and knew what to do next. She pulled William's face closer to her own and started to place small kisses from the corner of his mouth, along his jaw, back to his ear. "You know, I think we could throw that little scenario out the window. If you want to, I mean…." She rubbed her knee up the inside of his leg and then back down. "I think I know you want me." To emphasize what she meant, she let her hand wander to the front of his pants and lightly grasped the bulge there. Buffy heard William's groan and watched as he closed his eyes and tried to get himself under control.

He finally spoke in a small growl. "You know Summers, you can be a real minx."

"Yeah I can be, you wanna see how well?" She must have hit a nerve because she was again positioned up against the wall and his hands seemed to be everywhere at once. "You know this position is getting boring. I think just about every time we've made out, it's been against this wall."

She knew the only other place had been the guest bed, but that had been when he was drunk so she wasn't counting it. He picked her up and started carrying her up the stairs. As he carried her, she continued to kiss and nip at his lips. He only took three steps before he almost stumbled, a reaction to her getting a bit overzealous with her lips around his ear.

"You keep that up and you will be making out on the stairs instead."

She chuckled but was suddenly interrupted by the phone. She thought about letting it ring, but remembered it could be her mother.

"I should probably get that. It could be mom." She watched as he acknowledged that it was a good idea and let her down. She knew it wasn't easy though because all she wanted to do was say 'fuck the phone.' She couldn't stop the chuckle that left her mouth when she realized how awful that had sounded in her head. She was actually glad she hadn't said it. Buffy must of picked the phone up not even noticing it because, she was brought out of her thoughts by the voice coming through the phone.

"Buffy? Buffy? What is so funny?"

Buffy looked back at William. He sat himself on the bottom step and was giving her a quizzical look. She decided to explain it later though. "Oh, nothing Willow. So what’s going on?"

"Oh, nothing much. Xander called and told me about today and said you could probably use a friend to talk to tonight."

"Yeah well it was a hard day but things are looking…." Buffy looked over to William and said. "up."

Buffy watched as William's eyes widened and looked at her, just daring her to go on. She turned back to the phone though and listened to Willow. It wasn't long until she had finished talking with her and had said goodbye.

"So what did she want?"

"She just wanted to know if I wanted to go shopping tomorrow."

"Oh. Now what was that about your night looking up?" William's eyebrow lifted to emphasize the word ‘up’.

"Well it was. I don't know if it is any more." William was soon kissing her again and then pulled
back and gave Buffy a lust filled look. "What about now?"

Just as William started to kiss Buffy again, the front door opened and her mother walked in. "I seem to keep finding you two in that position. Except this time it's on the opposite wall."

Two bloody hells were whispered as all thoughts of the night looking 'up' dissipated into the air.





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