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Buffy was sitting in the kitchen the next morning. She was supposed to be going shopping with Willow later, but she hadn't been able to sleep well. Thoughts of what she and William had almost done kept running through her mind and, as a result, she hadn't slept well the night before. Buffy knew she probably would have gone through with it too had it not been for her mother showing up. Now as she looked back, Buffy knew it would have been the wrong move, because last night would have been about comfort not love.

With all that life had thrown at her lately, William had been there to console her through it all. She knew that's what she had wanted the night before; she had wanted to feel something other than the blackness that had been her life lately. However, looking at it from a different perspective, she knew that spending the night with William wouldn't have helped at all. Instead it would have made it worse, because she still would have woken up with the hurt and uncertainty from the occurences of the last month.

Buffy couldn't believe how much one month could change her life. As of right now she sat drinking her morning coffee going over why she hadn't slept with her sister's ex. It seemed totally wrong and yet she couldn't help it. She had fallen in love with William so long ago. Although, if she admitted it to herself, it had started out as a small school girl crush. However, spending this last month with him had shown her everything she needed to know.

Buffy had seen William in some of his best and worst moments. He had helped her come to terms with her sister’s death, and although that wasn't even close to being completely dealt with, Buffy knew she had at least started healing. They had mourned together this last month, and through that she had seen a lot more of William then she could have ever imagined. She came to realize, although they had been close friends for a long time, there had been a lot of things he had kept from even her. Buffy was just learning who this man was whom she had loved as a friend, but now meant more than any friend could. She knew that William had been right. There was time later for them to be physically involved, but for now she had a lot to learn about ‘William the man’ who would be her lover. The same man, and yet she knew that wasn't truly the case.

She was taking this small separation for what it was, thinking time for the both of them. Time for them to slow down and make the final decision of whether this was what they wanted or not. Buffy already knew her answer. She loved William and pretty much nothing else mattered. She knew that in the end, they would be together. Now, she only hoped that William would see that they belonged together too.

Buffy took a sip of her coffee and spit it back in her cup.

"Ick!"

She quickly looked at the clock after realizing that her coffee had gone cold during her little mind wandering. Sure enough, despite the fact that she'd been up early, she was now running late. Buffy quickly dumped her coffee in the sink, quickly followed by the mug itself. She then rushed upstairs to get ready, most likely Willow would be early and rip Buffy a new one if she wasn't ready, and that just wouldn't be pretty.
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William had been sitting on the plane for the last hour thinking over everything that had happened to him over the last month. He had gone back to Sunnydale just to see his friend graduate, not to have his whole life up ended. Yet that's what had happened not two hours after showing up in town.

William's life before going back had been filled with what he would have thought was the perfect existence.

He had a family that stood by him and loved him. He had a ‘father’ who he was happily argumentative with, and a sister for whom he cared very deeply. Now he had Joyce to add into the mix, although really she had always been like a mother to William. So, by the end of his trip, his family was really the only thing that had stayed mostly the same.

He had a girlfriend of three years waiting for him to come home. William had even envisioned her face and how it would have looked when he surprised her. Yes, she had shown him that look, but she definitely didn't come jumping into his arms like he'd imagined. Instead she had been somewhat shell shocked, but most of all she'd looked devastated. He didn't really realize that until now though. As William thought back on that day, he could see it in her eyes. Faith's eyes had always revealed a mysteriousness about her, but that day all he'd seen was a blackness in them. He had thought then that it was lust, but now he wondered if she'd already been broken from it all; drugs, pain, lies, and just life in general. In the end, had Faith already been dead the day he saw her in that bed? Is that why she had never spoken of the letters? Had she really been wishing for death to come? Had she been ready that night in the alley to die, and maybe even allowed it to take her?

Before returning to Sunnydale, William had a best friend that he had trusted to the end, but now he just didn't know. Xander had cheated with Faith. Even if Xander did love Faith, he had still gone behind William's back and slept with her. No matter how much William tried to put a good spin on it, he couldn't see past the feeling of betrayal. In the end, that had been what had happened and William just wasn't sure where to go next.

He wanted to be angry about it all, and yet couldn't find it in him. He wanted to yell and scream about his life not being as perfect as he thought, but knew it wouldn't help. In the end, Faith was dead, and whether she had wanted it or not, someone had chosen for her. Xander had willingly deceived William and slept with Faith, knowing in the end it could cost him his friendship with William. He knew that somewhere in the last month he had forgiven them both though, so how could William be angry with them now? He couldn't decide when he'd come to that conclusion but he had. He felt no ill will for either of them, but instead felt sorrow for what they had lost. He knew now more then ever what Xander was going through, because he now had it too.

Buffy.

The one person who had become a constant in his life so soon after arriving back in Sunnydale.

He had fallen in love with her, that much he knew. The thing he didn't know though was why. Why had she suddenly gone from one of his closest friends to almost lover? Why had it happened now and not years ago? Why was it, even now knowing he had all of these question running a marathon in his head, that Buffy still seemed to out shine it all? He kept seeing her crying, or pinned against the wall with her eyes so filled with longing and all he wanted to do was kiss her again. It had been so hard not to just ask her to leave with him the previous night. However, William knew they both needed this time apart to think through everything.

William also knew that no matter how much he loved her, he still had to get past the guilt of being with her. He had to know in his own head, not just his heart, that they were meant to be. Otherwise, all of this would have been for nothing, and they would both end up hurting worse than before. William knew that if things ended badly with him and Buffy, he wouldn't be able to go on living. Because in the end, he had allowed her past so many previously erected emotional walls, that his heart was now open, and he knew with all the pain he'd been through so far, that he'd not make it through more. He knew that if Buffy hurt him that it'd be like a stake through the heart. It would be slow and painful but in the end, he'd die and become part of the ground once again as all men do.

William felt a chill run over his skin, and suddenly felt very alone. He wanted to be able to hold Buffy right now and tell her how much he loved her. He wanted to tell her that although he had all these doubts and questions about them he knew in the end they would be together. In the end they wouldn't let anything come between them or break them apart, because if they did then this had all been for nothing. Mostly though William wanted the reassurance that Buffy would actually be there, but he knew for now he would have to go on faith that she would be.

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Buffy went to answer the door after hearing the doorbell ring. Figuring it was Willow and still needing to finish getting ready, she answered the door without even looking to see who it was.

"Willow just sit in the living room for a bit I am almost ready." Buffy was half way up the stairs when she heard a distinctly male voice.

"Ah Miss?"

Buffy turned around and realized that instead of Willow standing at the door it was a man in a pair of jeans and a blue buttoned shirt. "Who are you?"

"I'm Matt. I have a package for a..." Buffy watched as the man reached into his pockets and pulled out what looked like a yellow Post-it note. "Ah, yeah, a Miss Buffy Summers. Would she happen to be here?"

"Yeah I'm her. What is the package?"

"I'm not really sure miss, I was just told to drop it off, and make sure you got it personally."

Buffy thought about protesting but she noticed the clock then. If she didn't finish getting ready she wouldn't be ready for when Willow finally did show. "Fine just set it in the living room I have to finish up."

"But Miss I was told I had to make sure you got it and opened it. I..."

"I promise to go through it later. I don't have time for this right now though, just put it there and leave. Please. "

Buffy noticed that the man had wanted to protest, but she guessed he had decided not to, because he brought the cardboard box into the house. She watched as he rolled the box into the house on a trolley, and she thought it seemed quite big for anything she might receive. Noticing the time on the hall clock distracted her from that train of thought, and she was soon rushing the guy along. After finally getting the delivery man to leave, she gave the box a quick once over and quickly moved on. She just didn't have the time to deal with it right then.

Had she been more observant she might have noticed the air holes, or even the lettering across the back that said 'Do Not Wait To Open' in bold red. Had she waited but a minute longer, she might have seen the box start to sway back and forth. It took about ten minutes before the box fell over and the contents came spilling out. Buffy had a guest.

It was almost fifteen minutes later when Buffy looked at the clock and felt somewhat relieved - it looked like Willow was the one running on the tardy side along with her for once. Buffy did consider for a passing moment that this wasn't normal for Willow, but she wasn't going to complain about it. For once she would be ready before Willow even got there.

Buffy had just finished up with her make up and was putting her shoes on when there was a sudden crash. She thought it sounded like glass breaking, so she quickly ran out of her room and downstairs. When she got to the living room she found it a mess. The table that normally sat by the entrance way was overturned and the vase that sat on top of it was smashed all over the floor. Buffy noticed that the table hadn't been the only thing knocked over. She moved over to the small fake tree that her mother kept in the one corner and picked it up.

"What the heck happened here?"

As she continued to look around her eyes fell on the box that had been delivered not twenty minutes before. It was toppled over and it looked like its contents had been strewn across the whole living room. Buffy wasn't sure what was going on but she was starting to get nervous. She began to walk toward the portable phone to call Xander. With everything that had been going on, it had her on edge, and although it was probably nothing she wasn't going to take any chances. She only made it halfway to the phone though, when suddenly her feet were knocked out from under her. Buffy's head hit something hard and all she saw next was complete darkness.

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Willow was running around her apartment, not only had she actually overslept, but she had also misplaced her keys. She didn't know how though, because she was sure she'd put them on her dresser. Willow was now retracing her steps from the night before, or at least the ones she could remember. Right now she was stuck in the living room. Although she had already been through her bedroom and the living room several times, she was again rechecking the rooms. Willow had even gone as far as to look inside the fridge because she had nowhere else to check. They hadn't been there though. Now as she finished up with her fourth go through of the living room she was once again going to go through her bedroom.

"I swear if Xander moved them somewhere or this is another of Faith's jokes..." She suddenly realized what she'd said and stopped dead. It had been so off the cuff that she hadn't thought about it. She smiled though because she knew this actually would have been something Faith would have pulled on her, just because she was one of Buffy's friends. Willow got stuck in memories of Faith pulling jokes through out the years. It had only gotten worse when Willow had moved into Xander's apartment and Faith would stop by regularly. It had been an ongoing thing for Faith to move something; normally it would be school work or something just as important. Then she'd put it back after an exhaustive search had been conducted.

Willow was brought out of the memories though when the stupid talking clock in the kitchen crowed. Sure enough, when she looked at her watch she realized that she was now twenty minutes late.

"Well, Buffy will definitely gloat about this one."

Willow continued back to her room one more time. Her eyes caught sight of a glint on the dresser. She looked towards the ceiling and yelled.

"You are kiddin' me, right?"

She released a small growl when she confirmed what she'd thought. There on her dresser sat her keys, right where she had thought she'd placed them the night before. She picked them up and threw them in her pocket, then looked up at the ceiling.

"Faith if you are haunting me you can stop it anytime because this isn't funny."

Willow quickly walked out of the bedroom, grabbed her purse, and headed for her car. She couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up inside her though as she raced down the stairs. She knew that Faith wasn't haunting her, but it had been a tension release and Willow was grateful for what ever had caused it, whether it had been her own absentmindedness and blind eyes that missed the keys or something else working behind it all to give her something to laugh at in this hectic life she'd been living of late. She had reached her car and quickly called through to Buffy's house, but got the answering machine.

"Hey Buff listen I know I'm late you can gloat later, just know I'm on my way."

She hung up and started the car. She didn't know why Buffy hadn't answered but it didn't really bother her.

"She's probably still rushing around also, thinking she'll be late. Most likely she will be too." Willow chuckled a bit as she looked both ways before pulling out of the parking lot onto the road.
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Xander sat at his desk going over what had happened the night before. He was pissed off with himself for letting his anger get the best of him. It had been so long since he had really let any feelings show he supposed it had all just been building up in him. It still irked him that he had allowed the volcano of anger to blow up last night at work. Although he knew Meers had deserved it, he knew it had been a mistake.

"I should have never let him get to me."

"That is one thing you've got right there sweetie."

Xander looked up into the eyes of the one and only Anya Jenkins. If there was one person you didn't want talking about you, it was her. She was blunt and liked to tell everyone your life story without even realizing she was doing it. All of which meant you really couldn't get angry with her, because that was just the way she was.

She was also in charge of Faith's murder, and he knew she was the best for it. They didn't call her a vengeance demon for nothing. Anya always sought vengeance on those that had been wronged, and she never gave up on a case. Xander knew that right now he really didn't want to hear what she thought of him. He knew though that there would be no stopping her.

"Anya, what is it you want?"

"Well honey, you know what I want." She gave him a coy look.

That was another thing that Anya did, she talked openly and zealously about sex. Oh and she could turn anything you said into an innuendo. Just as Xander was about to ask her to cool it though, she spoke again.

"In the end, I don't think I would want that from you. I don't like sleeping with men who don't fight for what they want." With that, an envelope skidded across his over-stacked desk and stopped in front of him. Before he could ask what she was talking about, she was gone. He picked up the envelope and undid the clasp on the back. He attempted to dump the contents onto his desk, but nothing came out. Looking inside, he found that there were several sheets of paper. Once he pulled them out, he realized that they were pages from Faith’s diary. Xander also knew that whatever was written on them should be read in private. Xander knew more than likely they were about him, and that was why Anya had discretely brought them to his attention. That meant he wanted to read them without an interruption. He quickly stuffed them back into the envelope, and clasped it shut.

Two hours later he'd finally finished up with his work. Xander reached into his desk and extracted the envelope again. He grabbed his coat and threw it on. He knew the perfect place to read without interruption, and it had been years since he'd been there.
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Willow had already been parked outside of Buffy’s house for five minutes. She had honked her horn several times, but Buffy had still not shown herself. It had been long enough that Willow was worried. She walked up to the door and knocked just to make sure. After a few moments passed with still no Buffy, Willow went looking for the extra key. Sure enough it was under the back porch in amongst the rocks. She went back to the front door and unlocked it.

"Buffy!" Willow didn’t hear anything though, in fact the house sounded eerily quiet. Willow made sure the door was closed before she started towards the stairs continuing to call out Buffy's name. As she walked past the living room, she noticed Buffy out of the corner of her eye. Willow rushed to Buffy who was sprawled out on the floor. Willow saw a little blood but it didn't look like Buffy had lost much.

"Buffy! Buffy come on! Wake up!" Willow tried shaking Buffy, hoping to wake her up. After a few shakes Buffy did start to come around. "Buffy, what happened?"

Buffy was slowly coming to and she mumbled "Huh?"

"Buffy, you were on the floor passed out. What happened?" Willow had helped Buffy sit up, but she still seemed a bit disoriented.

"Willow, am I late?"

Willow couldn't stop the laugh that came out of her. "Oh, thank goodness! I was so worried that you were out of it. Can you remember what happened?"

"Yeah I think so. I was getting ready, and there was a huge crash."

Willow looked around and finally noticed the different things that had been knocked over. Willow hadn’t noticed the stuff before, as she had been too worried about Buffy. Willow turned her attention back to Buffy, who seemed to be coming around a lot better.

"So, I checked in here and found this mess; then suddenly my feet were knocked out from under me."

"What? How is that? Was there someone else here?"

"No, not since the delivery guy earlier."

"What delivery guy?" Willow interrupted.

"Well, you know I might get to tell you if you stopped being all jumpy girl and interrupting me. Okay, well as I was saying, that box over there..." Buffy pointed towards the wreck of things by the knocked over table. "I don't know how it ended up open and on its side, because I had the delivery guy set it down upright and unopened. I had been trying to get ready so I wouldn't be late."

Willow got up and walked over to the box and started going through the contents. Everything in it though, made no sense. She was just turning back to Buffy to explain what was in the box when there was a noise from inside the closet.

They both jumped, and Willow watched as Buffy wobbled a bit on her feet, but soon steadied herself.

"What was that?"

"Willow, stop asking questions. Just grab that..." Buffy pointed toward the lamp, and Willow did as she said. Then Willow noticed Buffy walk toward the closet door. Willow stopped her with yet another question.

"What are you doing?"

"Shhh!"

Buffy continued towards the closet and Willow followed her. Although she thought this was stupid she figured she wouldn't be able to talk Buffy out of it. Just then, Buffy swung the closet door open, and Willow let out a scream.

Buffy just said "Oh, good Lord!"

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A/N: Hi all I wanted to let you all know that Following Shadows was nominated over at Spuffy Awards, and the voting has now begun. They will be accepting votes until June 11, but please follow the rules that they have set up.

Here is the site:

Spuffy Awards Vote Here

I also want to thank everyone that has been leaving me reviews and e-mailing me. All of you are wonderful and I enjoy hearing from you. This story wouldn't be as good as it is though without my wonderul beta's. So a big shout out to them also. Thank You!.
ttyl
bcdspuffy





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