[Reviews - 16]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story | ePub eBook Chapter or Story | Printer Chapter or Story

Has been viewed 2449 times

- Text Size +




Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to Denied_Heaven for beta'ing.
Remembering (3/?)

“Let’s try.” Those sweet words echoed in Spike’s head.

He couldn’t believe that it was real, Buffy here in his crypt, in his bed, his shirt: gods he wanted her. But not like this. Not because of Angel or any problem. He wanted her there because she wanted to be there.

“Let’s try,” Buffy whispered again nipping at his ear lobe. “Make love to me,” she murmured roaming her hands over his chest.

As she started to unbutton his shirt on her small body, he searched her eyes trying to figure out if she really meant what she said. Or if it was just the need for someone to make everything go way.

With several button undone, leaving her chest bare to his hungry gaze, Buffy’s hands tugged at his duster, pushing it from his shoulders before she started frantically to undo his belt buckle. She was like a woman possessed; her need so was so strong that it was all she could think about.

It didn’t matter anymore to Spike, or at least not right now. The fact that she was there and she was the one wanting him for a change was enough.

Coming to her knees in front of him, she pleaded, “Make love to me, Spike, please.”

He couldn’t let her down now could he? Besides, he hated to see her begging. ‘No wait’ he thought, he actually liked seeing her begging him.

“Are ya sure?” Spike asked, arching his brow. He wanted her in that moment than he had in all his unlife, but at the same time he didn’t want her pissed at him and accuse him of taking advantage of her later.

“Yes.”

With that, Spike’s hand found its way to the last button of her shirt, baring all of her to his hungry gaze. The other hand gently caressed her face.

Their eyes meet and passion burned deep in Buffy’s core. She wanted him. She needed him. Not just for tonight but forever.

She knew it, but she didn’t want to admit it to herself and definitely not to Spike. She wanted to tell him everything about the phone call, the way it made her feel. The way she felt laying in his bed waiting for him, but she just couldn’t. There would be time for that later.

Spike brushed his knuckles over her breasts, gently teasing her nipples, causing Buffy to let out a soft moan. Each stroke branded her very soul. He knew exactly what to do; what made her happy.

Her hands tugged at Spike’s t-shirt; she wanted to feel his hard cool flesh pressed against hers. She felt like her body was on fire. Finally she revealed his pale skin that shone like porcelain in the dim candle light. He was gorgeous.

Slowly, she slid her hands down his strong chest, finding their way to the top button of his jeans. Undoing them, she pulled him on top of her. With one good tug, Buffy peeled his tight jeans from his body. Falling back onto the bed, she pulled him with her and kissed him deeply.


Tracing the outline of her soft curves, he made his way to her inner thigh, slowly, methodically moving making his way to what he wanted most.

He wanted her. Gods he wanted her now and forever. “Buffy,” he said softly, hovering above her. “I …. I….” ‘I love you’ he thought, but couldn’t say it, he knew she wouldn’t believe him. She never did. And he didn’t want to ruin this moment. Instead he closed the last few inches and kissed her passionately, deciding it was wiser to show her than tell her.

Their two bodies were meant to be together, each one knowing what the other one wanted, needed even. As they moved in sync with each other, the world around them disappeared.

They made love for several hours. Finally from pure pleasure, Buffy cried out, a moment later Spike did the same. Lying there for several minutes, neither of them could move. Buffy slowly and almost unwilling slid off of him before curling herself around his body. She didn’t wanting to be away from him. With her head resting on his chest, she drifted off to sleep while Spike held her close, before falling asleep as well.

*****

Buffy awoke just before sunrise. She wasn’t quite sure where she was or what had happened. All she could remember was Angel’s call, Spike, and drinking far too much in Spike’s crypt.

Then she looked at him, Spike. She was cuddled up with him and that’s when it hit her. Everything from last night came flowing back. She couldn’t have…. she didn’t, but she did. She remembered it all.

She had gotten drunk, told Spike everything she wanted in her life and told him in some way that it was him and only him that she wanted it with. She was horrified; how could she have ever done such a thing? She could never face him again, knowing he knew her deepest, darkest secret of all.

Slowly and carefully, she moved away from him, not wanting to wake her sleeping vamp. She couldn’t look him in the eyes knowing that he knew. She sat up on the edge of the bed gathering her self for a moment before standing.

“Going somewhere, Luv?” Spike said softly.

“I have to go. “ Buffy whispered. “Willow will be worried if she finds out I didn’t come home.”

“Nope, I called Red last night and told her not to worry.”

“You did what?” Buffy stopped gathering her clothes and looked him dead in the eye.

A small smile tugged at his mouth as Spike reclined against the headboard. “I called Red. Told her that ya were upset and ya fell asleep in the crypt.” he said matter a factly.

“Before or after?” Buffy worried, tugging on her bottom lip with her teeth.

“Before,” Spike could tell by her tone she wasn’t happy, not to mention the icy gaze she was giving him. “Guess I probably shouldn’t tell ya who else I called, huh?” he added before his brain had time to stop his big mouth.

Buffy’s mouth dropped as her mind raced, “Who?”

“Nobody that matters,” he said trying to cover as best he could as he mentally kicked himself. What was he thinking? A nice staking would be quiet lovely this morning? his subconscious snorted. Ya’ve always been a glutton for punishment, mate.

“WHO?” she demanded, glaring at him with her arms crossed under her perky breasts.

Breasts he remembered sampling over and over again just a few hours ago. And that was Spike’s only defense for that he said. He’d been distracted by the way the pale light made her golden skin look in the early morning light.

“Peaches.” Spike confessed. But the moment it was out of his mouth, he knew he’d done it now. Bloody hell he thought. She’s going to stake me for sure now. Well at least I’ll die a happy man.

Buffy just stood there, not believing what she’d heard. “You called, who?”

“I called Peaches” Spike paused “Ya were too upset ta tell me and I wanted to know what bleeding hell he did to piss ya off.”

“Why did you do that?” she accused him.

Lifting his head, he met her angry glare, “I already told ya. Wanted to know what got yer panties in such a twist.” Looking away, he muttered, “I know.”

“You know? What do you think you know?”

“About Connor,” Spike said it and there was no going back now, he knew it.

“You…. know about Connor?”

“Yeah, luv I do. Know about Connor and all the rest, too.” Sighing, Spike looked back up at her, not knowing how to tell her the rest of what Angel had told him the night before. “There’s something you don’t know.”

‘Why did ya have to open your big gob, ya git? Ya couldn’t just have left well enough alone, could ya.’

‘Ya could have just let her slip away not saying a word. She wouldn’t have known. But oh NO! Ya had to go and say something. Ya could’ve stopped at calling Red, but no not ya,’ he thought.

“What else?” Buffy asked, moving back to sit next to Spike on the edge of the bed. Looking into his deep blue eyes she tried to figure out what he knew that she didn’t.

“Its Darla ….she’s gone.”

“She left?”

“No, not exactly, She’s …dead.” Spike mumbled.

“What?”

“She’s dead. She took her own life to save Connor’s. If she hadn’t, he would’ve died.”

Buffy sat there in silence for a moment. Suddenly she flew off the bed grabbed her clothes and running up the ladder to the upper chamber of the crypt. Her heart was racing, her head was pounding. She couldn’t get dressed fast enough to get out of there before Spike could say another word. She didn’t know how she felt in that moment. There were too many unnamed emotions that she couldn’t deal with.

Spike quickly followed her upstairs. He wanted to take it all back. “I’m sorry.” Is all he could say as he gently placed his hand on her shoulder.

“I didn’t know. I didn’t let him finish last night. What didn’t he just tell me that in the beginning?”

“He wanted to tell ya, but ya hung up too fast.” Spike’s voice was firm but soothing at the same time. His voice somehow always calmed her at times like this. “Ya ok, pet?”

“I don’t know. Kinda confused right now. I need to go,” Buffy said, as she grabbed her jacket from the arm of Spike’s brown chair then quickly went out into the still morning air.

Spike wanted to follow and comfort her, but he couldn’t it. Daylight was a damned bitch some days and today, she was the queen of all bitches.

He wanted to hold her, tell her it was alright. That everything was going to be fine. He tried to convince himself it was. And that Buffy could handle it. But deep down in his gut he was afraid he’d made the biggest mistake of his unlife by telling her. Afraid that he’d lost the one thing he wanted most in this world…

*****

Buffy wandered around the cemetery before slowly heading back to the house.

Standing outside, she couldn’t go in. She knew Willow was already up and she would want to talk. Buffy couldn’t tell her. She couldn’t tell her anything that had happened between her and Spike. She couldn’t tell her how she felt, because she really didn’t know herself yet.

Slowly Buffy turned and walked the streets of Sunnydale remembering when she first arrived. She remembered the first time she met Willow and Xander, and Angel.

She remembered how she fell in love with Angel. How he’d turned into Angelus because of her. About the time Willow gave Angel his soul back, just in time for her to kill him.

She knew they loved one another and they always would, but they could never be together. She knew that better than anyone. She couldn’t risk him turning into Angelus ever again. He was a monster, one that would end the world if he had a chance.

But not Spike. Even at his evilest he couldn’t come close to being the monster that Angelus. And how he knew her. Knew what she wanted and needed.

She remembered how he had helped her for the first time with Angelus. Leaving town with Dru as he promised. And his stupid scheme he’d dreamt up of kidnapped Willow and Xander, get a love spell to get Dru back.

He knew her even back then. He’d always known her. And he could always see right though her.

As she wondered through the streets, she found herself at her mother’s grave. Sinking to her knees she broke down once again. “Mom why? Why do I have to choose, I love them both.”

Shocked that she’d finally admitted it to herself. She loved Spike. There was no way to deny it and there turning back now. She couldn’t tell anyone but her mother, she knew. Besides her mother had always liked him, even more than Angel.

“Mom, I don’t know what to do. I want to be happy for Angel. But I’m afraid if I see him I’ll fall in love him again and I’ll lose Spike. I can’t lose him. We just found each other.”
She told her, sobbing, “I love him, Mom. I really love him. But I can’t tell him or anyone else but you.”

Tbc….





You must login (register) to review.