Chapter 5

Buffy wandered the halls of the Giles’ estate running her hand along the antique furniture. She had helped Willow put Ella down for her afternoon nap and now was trying to keep busy. As she wandered the vast hallways, she tried to imagine what it had been like for William and Dru to grow up in this environment. She could not imagine Giles family cookouts like Angel and she had enjoyed growing up. One look at the formal dinning room also ruled out Mac and Cheese Sundays.

She could of course ask William himself, but that would mean he would have to actually be there. It had been almost a week since he had left for work in London. He had called to check up on Ella every night and most of the time he spoke to Willow. They had spoken briefly though. The phone call had been awkward at best.

“Miss Summers, Mr. Giles on the phone for you.” The butler Wesley handed her the cordless phone as she sat and watched Ella try to crawl and reach her favourite toy.

“Hello.”

“Buffy, hello,” his voice sent involuntary shivers down her body. Her imagination betraying her as visions of their intimacy flashed before her.

“William, what do I owe this privilege?”

“I just wanted to let you know that I will be back at the estate on Friday night.”

“Oh?”

“I would have been there sooner, but I have been snowed under with work. I have taken most of Angel’s case load,” he explained.

“So sorry my brother’s death is such an inconvenience,” She spat. She was so angry with him. William was the only person who knew how she was feeling. They should have been talking about their loss not the extra caseload.

“That’s not what I meant,” she heard his frustration down the line. “When I get back we need to talk.”

“William I think we should let sleeping dogs lie. The other night was--” He cut her off mid sentence.

“I am not talking about the other night. It’s about Ella.” Buffy looked up at her niece who was still trying to reach her toy.

“Oh?” ‘How stupid of me to think you would consider thinking about me.’ “Of course it is about Ella.”

“I just got a copy of Angel and Dru’s Will.”

“What does it say?” Buffy felt a knot form in her stomach.

“I don’t know. I was waiting until I got back to the house. We both have to be present when it is read,” that did not sound good.

“Oh,” Buffy felt the tears well in her eyes again. A will, she had to hear her brother's will be read out. His will because he was dead. She wiped her tears away.

“Buffy love, are you crying?” she heard something change in his voice, a tone she had not heard before. Was it concern? She could not tell in their short time together. They had shared many emotions, anger, frustration, lust among them. However, concern was not one.

“No,” she lied. “I am fine. See you Friday,” she clicked off the phone before he could respond. Before he could hear her sobs.

She let the sadness wash over her like a wave in the ocean, letting it take her where it needed. She had made that decision at the funeral not to judge her emotions or reactions. Her grief needed to be released and when it came, she let it all out.

As she sat and sobbed a barrage of thoughts flooded her brain. Angel and Dru’s wedding, the last time they had spoken, seen each other, fought amongst the muddle one question hit her like a bolt from the blue.

‘Did William just call me love?’

Buffy had gone back over the phone call in her head many times trying to figure out what was going on between them. She had come up blank every time. As she looked up at the portrait of him in the sitting room, she asked. “What are we going to do William?”

~

It was ridiculous that he should feel nervous about entering his own home. Absolutely ridiculous and he reprimanded himself for it. Not only that, but he cursed Buffy for it and then immediately felt guilty. It was not her fault that he felt this way. Well, it was in a roundabout way. It was her he was nervous to see, however, he brought it upon himself did he not? He was the one that left her after – clear the throat again, William – their night together.

A night that often played in his mind like a continuous movie reel. He was certain he could still feel how soft her flesh was under his hands, and often times, would flex his hands as if she were under him and he was straining to touch her.

He shook his head and cleared his throat – again.

He hated hearing the despondency in her voice when he had called her, hated hearing the chill that was there too, just for him. He could almost hear Dru in his head yelling at him for leaving her as he did. Not for what they had shared, but for what they had lost. They had lost together, not one over the other and now they had family to worry about.

The fate of Ella.

He was not father material, he was barely uncle material, so what fate was in store for him—for Ella? Buffy was not mother material – well, no that was not true. He could definitely see her as a mum. She would be the type of mother who would have the ‘sex talk’ when Ella turned thirteen. Ella would be a yoga loving, Led Zeppelin listening, feminist. But not a hard feminist, a soft feminist. Like Buffy.

Was she a feminist though? She was—

“Oh, there you are.”

He blinked, gathering his bearings after nearly colliding with her on his way in the door. “Here I am. You going out?”

She gave him a look, “No, I was waiting for you. Ella is napping and I needed some air.”

He nodded, trying to be amiable as possible, trying for normalcy. It was difficult when all he could imagine was what was underneath that tight pink tank and white frilly skirt. In his mind’s eye, he saw her hair all spread out on his pillow. He shook his head, “How is the tot?”

“The tot as you so lovingly refer to her as has a name. It’s Ella. She’s your niece. Did you forget that fact?”

“Buffy—“

“When is the reading of the will?” she asked abruptly, her pink lips pursing together, her green eyes cold and imploring.

“The attorney reading it will be here in about an hour.”

“How nice. So glad you could make it home in time for that,” she bit out and waltzed past him. He watched her go. What was it about Elizabeth that reduced him to the little boy that used to run around with grass stains and scrapes on his knees, getting in trouble for pulling Dru’s braids?


Buffy’s heart was pounding as she strolled onto the estate. That would not do. That would not do at all. He was not supposed to affect her like that. She could have a racing heart out of anger, but not desire. On the other hand, the memory of her desire. No, no, no. If she felt so inclined, she was sure she could pitch a tantrum right on the lawn. If it would help take away the sudden rush, she felt upon laying eyes on William again. One name came to mind when looking upon him: Adonis. Of course, another name soon followed, Jackass.

She stood in the center of the vast lawn and took some deep Buddha breaths, aligning herself back to center and expelling all thoughts of William from her mind. It took a bit, especially considering she swore she kept hearing Angel’s voice in the wind saying “He’s not so bad sis”, followed by a knowing chuckle.

***

“Is there some class you attorney’s have to take to ensure that you’re as stuffy as you can be?” Buffy nearly shouted at William after attorney Jackson had left.

William sat in the leather chair he had been sitting in since attorney Jackson had dropped the bomb on them.

He blinked up at Buffy. “What?”

She snapped her fingers in his face. “Snap out of it William!”

A rush of annoyance went through him and he jumped up. “Stop screeching at me!”

“Then say something!”

“What do you want me to say? What do you want me to do?”

“Let me take her. I’ll take Ella away—“

”No!” he shouted. “She’s been left to both of us and here she will stay. This is her home. The only home she knows. I’ll not have her being carted around country to country.”

“You’re going to play dad?” Buffy asked sardonically, putting her hands on her hips.

He narrowed his eyes at her, “You going to play mum?”

Her eyes glinted with a challenge. “Looks like you’ve got a permanent houseguest, William.”





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