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A/N: Hey guys. Okay so I hope you're enjoying this story. It's probably the longest one I’ve ever written and it was hard to write as later on it becomes very personal in some ways. So I hope you all keep with me for all of that. There will be angst, there will be some parts that make you smile and there will be spiffy. What more can you really want?

And if you like what you read, please review. Reviews make writers happy and it means we know what our readers want.

Anyway: on with the story

Chapter 2



Buffy was weary as she arrived back home that afternoon. She could never guess what kind of mood her mother was going to be in, or if she would even be home at all. The uncertainty was one of the things that got to Buffy the most. Because sometimes, just when she thought things were okay, that maybe today would be the day without a beating or an argument; something always seemed to go wrong. Something happened to screw it all up.





Of course, the uncertainty wasn’t always there. Because there were days when she could tell straight away that it was a bad day. That a beating would come sooner or later. And she was always right. It always happened. She only wondered what kind of day today was going to be. It really didn't bear thinking about. It was always worse when she didn't know. At least when she knew it was a bad day, she saw it coming. She knew what would happen at some point and she could at least be prepared. It was on the days that she didn't know that she was really afraid.





She opened the door, trying her best to be as quiet as possible, hoping to be able to sneak right upstairs and put off finding out for a little while. But no such luck.

“Buffy” her mother screeched as soon as she crossed the threshold. Buffy cringed at the sound of her mom’s voice. But if she tried to ignore her things would only be worse; so instead of going towards the stairs, she went in the direction of the living room.

“Hey mom” Buffy greeted, trying to pretend that everything was ok.

“You left without saying goodbye this morning”

“Sorry, I overslept” was the mumbled response.

Drusilla came right over to Buffy and grabbed her by the wrists.

“Don’t lie to me. I’m your mother you should respect me. I will not tolerate your disobedience,” she hissed. Buffy winced in pain as her mother’s long sharp fingernails dug into her tender flesh.

“I’m sorry; I won’t do it again,” she promised. Hoping beyond all hope that it would be enough. But she should have know better, it was never enough. Drusilla never loosened her grip

“ You better believe you won’t. Just remember Buffy, that you are my daughter. You do as I say, when I say it. You are an arrogant little bitch who has destroyed my life. I wish I never had you!” The woman’s English accent was more pronounced as she spat the words out. Buffy wanted to cry but she never did. At least not in front of her mother. Sometimes she allowed them to fall later, when she was by herself. But only when she was alone.

“Pleas, let me go” she begged

“You deserve it for lying”

“I didn’t, I swear I didn’t” Buffy cried out.

“Don’t answer back!” Drusilla yelled, slapping Buffy again. But this time, she didn’t stop. She kept slapping, and punching and scratching. And Buffy felt powerless to do anything about it.





Drusilla had moved to Sunnydale at 17, she was pregnant not long after. She met a guy a couple of weeks after she arrived and screwed him in the bathroom of a club the night they met. She never saw him again, not that she cared. The only part that she cared at all about was that she ended up saddled with a baby. That didn’t change her ways though. No, Buffy wasn’t deaf. She heard her mom with the different men she brought home every weekend. She’d had a couple of ‘serious’ boyfriends over the years, meaning there were a couple of guys she had sex with more than once. But they never lasted; it was mostly all one-night stands.





Hours later Buffy lay curled up in a ball on her bed. This beating hadn’t been as bad as some of the others. Drusilla had avoided hitting her in the face for a change. But her arms were covered with fresh cuts and bruises. But the emotional pain was worse than any physical pain. The scars on her body disappeared eventually, but the ones in her heart, those would never go away. So many thoughts were running around inside of her head. The thought that a mother was supposed to love her child. Not beat them and say that they regretted that the child had ever been born. There was supposed to be a bond between a mother and a daughter; and it hurt Buffy that she didn’t have that. It hurt that everywhere she turned she saw a mother and daughter who got along. A mother who cherished her daughter and wanted to spend quality time together, and when she saw them she wished silently that she was that daughter. That it was her mother who took her shopping to the mall, or out for ice cream. That it was her mother who always gave her a kiss goodnight and always told her how much she loved her. But it never was, and deep down she knew that it never would be and that was the thing that hurt more than anything. That her mother would never love her. That her mother would never care like that. It was those thoughts that always brought the tears eventually. And tonight was no different. Tonight, she lay there curled up and tears stained her face. She cried quietly, and in the next room, she heard her mom with another of her one- night stands. Because she Drusilla had left just after she had finished beating Buffy. And as Buffy tried to block out the sound, her weeping softly continued.





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