This is not spuffy, I know… but I hope you’ll like it anyway! : )

PART 5

Angel leant against the small wall, watching the ocean in front of him thoughtful.
“ I knew I would find you here!” Cordelia exclaimed, at his shoulder.
“ This is the place you always go to, when you gotta say goodbye to something: first, the ring and the chance to see the sun again, and now… Buffy, I guess…” she kept talking, approaching and putting a hand on his shoulder.
“ It’s hard, isn’t it?”
“ I was ready to face it, I know she didn’t love me anymore long before she told me about Spike: I think I lost her the day I moved here!” he commented, without taking his eyes off the ocean.
“ And you know what? I’m starting to realize I don’t love her anymore, too; not the way I used to love her. And it’s not because of Spike or even that stupid soldier boy before him… she’s changed, she doesn’t need me anymore and I don’t need her to need me, you know?” he kept talking, looking at her.
“ Well, it’s kinda way too enigmatic for me to understand the last part, but I guess I understand you. So, don’t be upset: life goes on… well, un-life in your case, you know…” she said, making him smile.
“ I’m not upset, that’s the odd thing: I’m quite happy for her: I left her to let her find the right guy for her, someone who could give her a normal life, and for a trick of fate this guy happened to be Spike, nonetheless. But now he’s changed, he got a soul, he can stay in sunlight… and you said that he can even age again …” he commented, maybe with a touch of envy.
“… well, I guess they can have an almost normal life! And finally she is happy…”
“ You also deserve to be happy, now that you can; and Buffy is not the only girl in the world…” Cordelia replied, patting his shoulder.
“ You know what? You’re right! I’m young and kinda good looking, so I guess I’ll find a girl who wants me, what do you think?” he asked, looking into her eyes, feeling an odd shiver when he saw her smiling, aware that normally vamps don’t shiver!
“ What if I told you that you have already found her?” she whispered, skimming his hand.
“ What?” he exclaimed, and no matter how puzzled he was, he didn’t withdraw his hand.
“ Look Angel, I’m not Buffy, neither the Ice Queen a.k.a. Kate, I’m not that strong and I don’t have their courage; but I’m not afraid of what I feel…” she said, coming closer to his face, enraptured by his dark and piercing eyes.
“ Cordy, you don’t know what you’re saying…” but she interrupted him with a kiss, happy because he didn’t try to stop her.
“ Now, do you still believe I don’t know what I am saying?” she smiled, ready to kiss him once more, but this time he stopped her.
“ Just how? All of the sudden?” he wondered, more and more confused.
The girl’s expression darkened.
“ All of the sudden, ALL OF THE SUDDEN?! Angel, you’re a brilliant detective, but you are blind in the matters of the heart! How do you think I’ve been feeling ‘bout you all these months, all these years, always trying to comfort you due to Buffy, or Kate… Have you got the slightest idea about how hard it was for me?” she explained, almost crying, departing from him.
“ Why didn’t you tell me before?” he asked her.
“ No, dude, it’s my turn to ask the questions: how do you see me? As a friend, a poor lame girl with too many ambitions, a simple secretary? How?” she wondered, deciding to face him once and for all.
“ I saw you as someone unreachable!”
“Uh?”
“ I mean: I saw you always dating those very rich guys, with big and elegant cars, lots of money… thought you loved their world! So, what could have I ever offered you, as a vampire trying to reach redemption, brave enough to defeat strong demons, but not enough to get paid, sometimes? You were too much for me, and honestly, I was sure you didn’t like me!” he explained, approaching her cautiously.
“ That was the past, a very far past: I realized that money and big cars are not the most important things in the world, and you taught me that! I hung out with those empty big heads just to make you jealous, if you want to know so bad; but it didn’t seem to have much effect on you…” she observed upset.
Angel chuckled.
“ No effect?! Ask Wesley ‘bout all the times you went out and I stood in front of the window, wondering when you would be back, if you were fine, and babbling something about what the hell they had got that I hadn’t, except the ‘ Humanity Bonus ‘, of course!” he admitted, lingering before letting a hand flow through her hair.
She held his hand in hers.
“ You were jealous!” she exclaimed with a touch of pride.
He bent down to kiss her, but that time she stopped him.
“ What about Kate, and most of all Buffy? I don’t wanna live with their ghosts around you!” she clarified.
He smiled, raising her chin with a finger.
“ I‘ve already told you: they both will always have a special place in my heart, especially Buffy, of course; but they belong to the past! I wanna start it all over again with someone else by my side… will you be that someone?” he wondered, bringing his lips closer to hers.
“ Always…” she answered, before kissing him, with all the intensity and the desire she had repressed for too long.
“ Anyway, have you thought about the future?” he asked her, after a very long time.
“ I don’t wanna think ‘bout anything now!” she said, searching his lips again, but he wouldn’t budge.
“ Cordy, I’m serious. I’m a vampire: that means no sun, no chance to have a child… again, no aging… think about it!” he reminded her.
“ I already thought about everything: you know what? Sunbathing makes skin age faster, so I wouldn’t mind living in a dark house with you; about the children, I love Connor as if he was my son, after all I saw him growing and anyway, I ‘m gonna be a famous actress: I wouldn’t have time to be a mom; and about the aging thing… now I’m still young, and with all the miracles in science… I swear I’ll never look older than you!” she swore, making him laugh.
“ Jokes aside, who knows? Maybe we could find a way to make you… if not become human, at least… age. With Willow’s magic and Wesley’s knowledge, maybe with some help from Giles… anything is possible!” she smiled, caressing his face, before giving him another demanding kiss.
“ I can have a permanent soul, sure; but sometimes it’s hard to control my demon, especially if I got excited… and I’m afraid you’ll have that effect on me soon! So, what if I accidentally bit you?” he wondered, dreading a negative reaction and a bitter rejection from Cordelia.
The last thing he expected was the bright smile on the girl’s lips.
“ Speaking of that, Angel…”

TBC





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