The day had passed in a blur, Buffy was certain some of her advice to the pupils that visited her had not been entirely valid. Her mind was most definitely elsewhere.
Elsewhere with Spike, waiting for her at home, all wit and passion, God how she loved him, and he was falling in love with her again, it was just too good, she could barely believe it. Richard, her mind reprimanded her, are you gonna cheat on him, because there is no way you aren’t sleeping with that sexy vampire tonight. The thought sent tingles through her body, she was going to have sex with Spike again tonight, and this time she was gonna get it right, gonna let him make love to her like he always wanted, let him hold her afterwards while she slept, the way she never allowed before. Richard her conscience reminded her again.
She sighed noticing it was almost time to go, just one thing to do before she could head home to Spike.
……..
“Buffy?” Richard asked confused as she entered his office, “what are you doing here, I though we where having lunch tomorrow”
“Richard” Buffy began, shit this was hard, she hadn’t done this before, well once, but that didn’t count, because that had been Spike and inside they had both known she hadn’t meant it.
“Oh baby, I was gonna call you I’ve had a thought about the seating plan, we’re going to need to make room for…”
“Richard” she cut him off, “I’m sorry, but I can’t marry you”
He gaped at her, taking her words in, “What? Why?” he asked pain making his voice ragged.
“I’m sorry, I…” she paused “There’s someone else, I’m sorry”
“Someone else” he exploded, anger rising suddenly “who? It’s him isn’t it, that arrogant son of a bitch at your house, Spike, it’s him”
Buffy tried to keep calm in the face of his anger, “I’m sorry, Richard, I never meant to hurt you, but yes, it’s him, he, we have a lot of history and…” she trailed off, there was no way to explain this that would make it any better. No words she could say that would dampen the raging hurt in his eyes.
Tears filled her own eyes as she tried desperately to lesson the blow, “I care about you Richard I really do, but Spike…. Truly I am…”
“Don’t tell me you’re sorry Buffy” he shouted hand slamming down on the desk with a loud crack, “You’re not sorry and we both know it.” He paused, regarding her through tear filled eyes. “You love this guy? Does he make you happy?”
“Yes, yes he does” she told him earnestly
He gave her a tight, tired smile, “then there’s nothing else to say, Goodbye Buffy”
“Goodbye” she whispered before slipping from the office.
He watched her leave, tears trickling unheeded down his face, nothing he had ever felt had prepared him for the pain of losing Buffy, she had illuminated his life with her bright light and now he had lost her. He sighed deeply, burying his face in his hands, no he wasn’t losing her, she had never been his, perhaps she had always belonged to this Spike.
…………………….
Spike dreamed, she was kissing him in the bathroom, reaching up to gently kiss his lips “wanna stay here with you” she pouted and he couldn’t help but smile.
“Buffy” he murmured reaching pulling aside her robe, “I know you felt it ... when I was inside you…” his voice suddenly desperate and demanding.
“No, ow, ow! Please, please, Spike, please...” he heard her pleading sob, but it didn’t matter, he couldn’t stop now, just had to make her understand, make her feel it.
“You'll feel it again, Buffy...” he told her, almost as if to reassure them both, just a little closer and he’d be inside her, she’d feel it then.
He felt her struggle become weaker “Please don't do this...” she begged trying to twist away from him
Don’t fight it my love he told her mentally its all gonna be okay, “I'm gonna make you feel it.”
He didn’t wake up screaming, or startle awake breathing hard with shock. He just opened his eyes and let the tears pour down his face to soak the pillow beneath.
……………………….
It was Buffy’s firm belief that the world was conspiring to keep her away from Spike as long as possible, the drive across town from Richards office seemed to be taking forever, traffic moved with obviously deliberate slowness, while spiteful pedestrians took the opportunity to delay her further by using every crossing on her route. By the time she entered her house she feeling edgy and frustrated, the sight of the Scooby gang waiting for her made her want to groan out loud.
“Buffy” Giles greeted “Excellent we where waiting for you, we have some disturbing news”
Buffy sighed, giving the stairs a rueful glance before resigning herself to this further delay. “What’s up?” she asked taking a seat.
“Well for one thing I have a date for the alignment, midnight, two days from now,” he told her ominously.
“Two days!” Buffy exclaimed, “we’re not ready, we don’t even know, well anything”
“We know what happens at the alignment” Dawn interjected, “I finished off the translation this afternoon.”
“Let me guess, something not good” the Slayer ventured in a resigned voice.
“Really not” dawn confirmed, “During the alignment Marcus will be able to use the amulet to channel Velmorick’s power directly into his army. Enhancing the strength of every demon he commands”
“Great” Buffy let frustration make her voice harsh, “so Marcus already vastly superior force will be extra powerful and completely unbeatable”
“I’m afraid that’s about the short of it yes,” the watcher affirmed with a tired sigh. “We have to someway stop Marcus from channelling that power into his army”
“Perhaps if we could destroy the amulet?” Willow suggested
“Marcus isn’t gonna let us get near his precious amulet” Buffy countered, “how about the effigy, could we destroy that?”
“I could probably destroy it with magic, but there would be a residual effect, meaning Marcus could still control the demons long enough to really hurt the Slayers. Besides, we don’t know where it is”
“There was one door that Marcus had heavily guarded” Spike’s voice cut in from the doorway, causing Buffy to smile radiantly at him, he avoided her eyes and continued. “I’d bet me last farthing that the temples right under his digs”
Buffy frowned trying to catch the vampire’s eye again, “Hi Spike” she greeted, but he didn’t look up.
“If we could get to the effigy, maybe we could spike it some how?” Xander suggested, “like tag something along with its power that’d hurt them instead of making them stronger”
“Excellent idea Xander” Giles complimented, slight disbelief in his tone. “Willow?”
“I don’t think I could do that, but maybe once the transfer begins, we could latch on to it’s conduit, destroy the effigy and send our own…” she trailed off shaking her head. “It’s a really long shot and even if I could do it I’d need an energy source, I can channel the power, but I can’t create it”
“Well that’s that out, no way we’re gonna get an energy source at this notice, not now the scythe’s all used up” Buffy flopped despondently down in her chair, her thoughts half on the impossible task ahead and half on the silent vampire leaning heavily against the door frame.
“Umm, we have an energy source” Dawn replied tentatively.
Willows eyes went wide with understanding, “Dawn no, I don’t think…”
“If two drops of my blood could rip open all dimensional walls, I think there’s enough power here for you to deal with a few thousand demons” she crossed her arms and looked defiantly from one face to another. “We have an energy source, now we need a plan”
“No way!” Buffy was on her feet, “If the effigy is really in Marcus’ lair, it’s gonna be heavily guarded, it’s way too dangerous, you are not going anywhere near that shrine”
“Buffy it’s the only way. I’m not a child anymore, if my blood has the power to stop this thing, I’m going.” The two faced each other twin expressions of determination on their faces.
“Do we need Dawn?” Xander asked “Couldn’t we just take a little blood?”
Willow shook her head. “The blood would die outside the body.”
“Yes quite, we’d need a mystical vessel of some sort or the blood would lose its power” Giles agreed.
Xander looked nervously about the room in the silence that followed, before raising his hand like a nervous pupil seeking a teacher’s attention. “I have a really bad idea,” he told them
…………………….
“No bloody way” Spike exploded, the whelp was insane if he thought any of them would go along with this.
“It might work” Willow offered raising her hands as if to calm the irate vampire, “and it’d keep Dawn out of danger”
Spike paused his agitated pacing and narrowed his eyes at the witch, didn’t take this lot long to figure out a fella’s weak spots. “I think it’d bring her a lot closer to danger than she needs to get”
“It’s really a question of relatives” Giles tried to intercede, “while the plan is far from ideal, it would be far better for her to be bitten by you out of harms way then to go into Marcus’ stronghold”
“Spike” Dawn tried to convince him, “you’re the only mystical vessel we have, it’s either this or I have to go with Willow.” She smiled at him, “It’s okay, I trust you”
“You shouldn’t” he spat bitterly before turning and heading for the back door.
Buffy was up and following him before anyone could stop her, “Spike” she called running out into the back yard, eyes scanning desperately left and right as she searched for the vampire.
“Right here” she spun round at the sound of his voice, he was leaning on the railing of the back porch, cigarette hanging unlit from his lips.
“Spike” she breathed in relief, she moved towards him, hand coming up to touch his arm, “What’s up babe?”
She frowned when he flinched violently away from her touch, “Don’t,” he commanded harshly.
“Spike what’s wrong? I don’t understand” tears shone prettily in her eyes and he almost reached out to comfort her, before he remembered he had no right to offer her anything except an explanation.
“Had me a not so pleasant trip down memory lane today” he looked at her almost accusingly, “How can you even think that we could… after…”
Buffy’s eyes widened in shock, he remembered, remembered uber-bitch Buffy and now he didn’t want her. “Spike that was then this is now, it’s different.”
“Different?” he asked incredulously, “It’s different, forgive and forget then.” He shook his head “Unbelievable” he muttered.
“Spike look, I’m sorry, I know that things where messed up before, but this time it’ll be different. We can make it work I know we can” she knew she was begging, abandoning her pride before him and she didn’t care, she had to make him see. “I know there was a lot of bad, we hurt each other, but it’s in the past. It’s not us anymore”
He was looking at her like she was crazy, brow furrowed, she ploughed on “It’s different now, everything’s different, we’re diff…”
“I almost raped Dawn” his soft confession shocked her into silence. She shook her head, as if to deny his words.
“I almost raped Dawn,” he repeated more loudly. “I held her down, ripped her shirt and laughed when she begged me to stop” he held her shocked gaze for a moment, making sure she understood. “So you tell me that I’m different”
…………………….
A/N Please don’t hate me, I know I stole your Spuffy, but hey on the upside I dumped Richard.
See I told you at the time the S/D attempted rape was intrinsic to the plot, bet you’d all forgotten about it, now it comes back to haunt us.
Hey Cali, looks like you’re psychic, I read your review and was just thinking, ‘sorry Cali, but you’re right, I’m a bad cruel person’
Hope this chapter doesn’t put you off Kar, I just bad and mean, I’m sorry
KMS, hope this is believable not frustrating S/B pace ;)
I know lizzy I’m a big tease, but sometimes that makes it more fun?
Thank you ALL so much for reviewing, everyone was so happy with the S/B I almost completely abandoned any vestige of writing integrity and rewrote this chapter so as not to upset my lovely readers. But I held firm
Gives everyone a little wave and an apologetic smile, sorry guys, please don't desert me over this.
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