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DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. The plot's mine, but even that is based on Joss Whedon and company's lovely creation.

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Dawn come home from school to a quiet house. She dropped her bookbag on the desk and glanced at the phone. A flashing red light greeted her. It nagged at her that something was wrong. Shaking her head, she pressed the button on the machine.

"Buffy, it's Pam from the Double Meat. It's ten o'clock, you were supposed to be here an hour ago. You need to get in here as soon as possible."

"Buffy, it's Pam again. It's eleven-thirty. If you're sick or something, please call us."

"Buffy? It's Pam. We're calling someone else in. We're swamped. Please call us."

Is she sick? Dawn hurried upstairs to Buffy's room. She was lying on her bed wearing the clothes she wore yesterday. Dawn hesitantly entered the room.

"You missed work. Are you okay?"

Buffy continued to stare at the ceiling. "I.."

Dawn waited for her to finish, but Buffy remained silent. She sat down next to her sister and patted her on the arm. "Are you okay?" She asked again.

Buffy's eyebrows furrowed, as if she was thinking. Her lower lip began to move, but nothing came out. Dawn's heart felt heavy with worry. She gave her a hug and wasn't surprised when Buffy didn't respond. Slowly, she slipped away from her and went into the other room and dialed Mr. Giles.

"Hi. Can you come over? I'm worried about Buffy."

"What's wrong?"

Dawn glanced at her sister's room from the doorway. "I don't think she's moved from her bed all day, and she won't talk to me."

There was a pause on the phone. "I'll be right over."

Five minutes later, Giles came in the house with a worried expression. After glancing at Buffy, he came downstairs to talk to Dawn alone.

"How long has she been like this?"

Dawn shrugged. "When I come home last night, she was in her room. I didn't think anything of it, because she's been tired. She'd been going out every night when she thought I was asleep."

Giles sat down on the couch with a thump. "Do you think something happened last night?"

"I don't know. She hasn't talked to me in a while, except to ask about dinner or my homework. She never mentions anything else." Dawn shook her head. "And if I bring up mom, she leaves the room."

Giles widened his eyes and went back upstairs with Dawn following. Buffy was still lying in the same spot on her bed. He sat down next to her.

"Buffy, I think you need to see someone. Have you been holding everything in?"

She turned to him and snorted. "I don't need a shrink," she said, mumbling something under her breath.

"I don't necessarily mean a psychiatrist. There are groups that deal with grieving. I think it would help a lot if you joined one."

Buffy shook her head. Dawn sat down on the other side of her and took her hand.

"Buffy, I think I could use group therapy, but I don't want to go alone. Could you go with me?"

Buffy closed her eyes for a moment. "Okay. I'll go for you."

Dawn smiled a little, when Giles mouthed "Thank you." to her. She hoped this would work.

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"I keep thinking I'll see her running down the stairs every morning." The woman traced a medium sized scar on her face. Many others in the circle nodded in understanding. "She'd be ten today."

Buffy hadn't said anything the whole session, but just being there seemed to help. She wasn't alone. Life was trying for other people, too. Glancing at Dawn, she realized that she could have known this much sooner if she only had talked to her sister. Dawn noticed her looking and turned to the group.

"I keep thinking I'll see my mom making breakfast." Dawn looked down at her hands.

"It helps to stay busy." Another woman, this one older, said with a small smile. Buffy remembered that this one lost her husband years ago.

"But, not so busy you don't do anything to enjoy life." A man, who looked to be in his late thirties interrupted. "I became so engrossed in my work when Ginny died, that I was ignoring our children. I had also stopped fishing, because I thought it was wrong to do something I liked when..when she was gone. It seemed like it would disrespect her. I discovered, though, that Ginny wouldn't have wanted me to give up what I loved. My kids and fishing are what makes me happy."

"I had to give up the band. They were going to take Dawn away." Buffy spoke softly.

"What did you play?" Debbie, the group therapist turned her attention to Buffy.

"Guitar. I was the lead singer."

Debbie gave her a small smile. "Do you still play your guitar at home?"

Buffy shook her head. "I haven't wanted to play it. It's too painful."

"Why?"

Buffy looked at the expected looks on everyone's faces. "It reminded me of a time before I lost everything."

Debbie nodded and glanced at her clipboard. "Is there anything else you enjoy doing? Someone you enjoy being around?"

Spike, Buffy thought, but she remained silent.

Debbie continued. "Sometimes it's good to do something that takes your mind off of things, as long as it's healthy."

Buffy was hit with guilt. Using Spike wasn't healthy for either of them. She took advantage of his love for her. No wonder he didn't want to see her anymore.

"I was seeing a man every night and sleeping with him. I was using him." She ignored the surprised expression on Dawn's face. "A few days ago, he told me to stop coming over. It hurt him too much, because he loved me."

"Were you seeing anybody else?" Debbie asked.

Buffy shook her head. "No. Just him."

"She had just broken up with her old boyfriend before mom died." Dawn interrupted Buffy's thoughts.

Debbie cocked her head to the side and studied Buffy. "Did you get a chance to mourn your boyfriend?"

Buffy bit her upper lip. "No. Dawn called me from the hospital right after Riley left."

"What about afterwards?"

Buffy felt tears form in her eyes, but she pushed them back. "I couldn't believe that my mom had died, and I didn't think that much about Riley. Now, I have to stay strong for Dawn."

"You don't need to stay strong for me."

"But, I do," she said quietly. Buffy didn't want to cry in front of all these people, so she didn't say anything else.

After a few minutes, Debbie glanced at the clock. "It's two. I'll see everybody next week?"

Buffy stood up with everyone else and headed out of the room. Dawn followed.

"Who was it?"

Buffy didn't answer and made her way to the parking lot.

"Buffy. Was it Xander?"

Buffy whipped her head around to look at Dawn. "No. It wasn't Giles either."

"Then, who?" Dawn ran up and stopped in front of her.

"Nobody you know."

"Spike?"

Buffy walked past her and stopped at their SUV.

"Yes." Fumbling with her keys, she finally got the door open.

Inside the car, Dawn fastened her seatbelt. "I was wondering where you went every night."

"I thought you were asleep."

"I haven't slept well since mom died."

Oh. She didn't realize that Dawn was having problems sleeping. Buffy had been so occupied with her own problems, that she hadn't noticed Dawn's.

Dawn smiled a little. "This therapy should help. I already feel better."

Buffy raised an eyebrow. "That's because you heard juicy details of my sex life."

Dawn laughed softly. "You call that details?"

"Until you're thirty, yes."

TBC - review please





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