DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, yo! They belong to Joss and company.

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As Spike walked up Buffy's driveway, he told himself that he was just going to check on her. He hadn't seen her for four days and was sick with worry. If she was angry at him, then it was good that she was angry. If she didn't answer the door because she was staring into space again, then he was going to call her friends.

He hoped he'd done the right thing by making her go home the other night. But, maybe sex with him is what she needs. A twinge hit his heart. She had been opening up a little. Maybe if he had kept having sex with her, she would eventually open up completely. He shook his head. It would have killed him before that happened.

Her little sister answered the door with a surprised look on her face. "Spike!"

"Hi. Is Buffy home?" He looked past Dawn but couldn't see Buffy inside.

She smiled. "She's upstairs practicing her guitar. Isn't that great? She suddenly started to play again this morning."

Spike's heart swelled with joy. If Buffy was playing, then she must be getting her life back in order. "Did something happen?"

"We've been going to this grieving therapy. Actually, we've only gone once, but Buffy opened up about a lot of stuff."

Spike swore he saw a smirk flash on her face before she waved him inside. "That's good. She needed to talk about stuff. Did she cry?"

A solemn expression washed over her. "No. She doesn't like crying in front of people."

Spike nodded. "Can I see her?"

"Come upstairs."

As Spike followed Dawn upstairs, Buffy's guitar became louder. Right before they got to her door, the music stopped. Dawn knocked and opened the door slightly.

"Buffy?"

"Hey, Dawn. I'm not as rusty as I.." Buffy saw him in the door. "Spike."

Spike tentatively stepped into the room. "I just came by to see how you're doing."

Buffy nodded slightly.

"I'm so happy you're playing again," he continued.

Buffy glanced at the guitar in her hands, but didn't say anything.

Dawn's brow furrowed. "I thought it'd be okay to let him in." She turned to Spike. "Maybe you should.."

Buffy's lip began to tremble. Suddenly, she looked up at Spike, her eyes shimmering with tears. "Oh, Spike," she sobbed.

It hurt to see her depressed, but crying broke something inside of him. Swooping down, he gently took the guitar that was dangling from her hands and laid it on the bed. She leaned towards him, and he gathered her in his arms. Dawn gave him a small smile and left the room. Buffy's sobs became louder and almost violent. Everything she had held in came out with that cry. He just rubbed her back and held her for a long time.

After a while, the tears died down. Buffy looked up and gently pushed him away from her. "I don't want to use you anymore."

"I'm just offering a shoulder to cry on." He reached out and took her hand. "I'm proud of you."

Buffy wiped the tears from her face. "I was thinking of rejoining the Scoobies. The Battle of the Bands is coming up."

"In about three weeks." He reached out and wiped a tear on her cheek that she missed. "There's still enough time."

She clasped his hand. "Can you help us? We're going to need a lot of help."

He smiled and wrapped his fingers around hers. "Of course."

She bit her lip. "That bar in the desert really was a mistake. You were trying to help us."

Spike looked away. "I hadn't been there in over a year. I should have checked the place out, first."

Buffy paused. "It doesn't matter now. Do you really think we'll have enough time to get ready for the contest?"

Spike smile, relieved she was changing the subject. "We may need to practice in the day, too. Will you be able to get off work?"

"I'm quitting that horrible job," she sniffed.. "I made enough money with the Scoobies to support Dawn. Children's services will just have to deal with it."

Laughing, Spike looked into her eyes. His stomach jumped when she laughed back.

"You wouldn't be the first parent with a night job."

That night, the Scoobies had their first practice with Buffy since her mom died. Faith had happily agreed to step aside, saying that she was getting bored anyway. The rest didn't seem to question why Buffy had asked Spike to help them. She just told them that they needed all the help they could get.

"I'm not letting Adam win this," she had said with her hands on her hips.

Spike went straight into business. With his no nonsense attitude, practice was just like before, except that this time Buffy didn't question him. She trusted him now. For that, he was grateful. He wasn't being mean, just truthful. He did, however, cut any comments that he used to say just to get her goat.

The Scoobies weren't that bad considering they hadn't played together in a while. There really was something that just clicked among them. This gave him new hope they could win.

After the rest of the band left that night, she stayed behind to practice. He sat in a chair nearby and just watched her. Her eyes held a glimmer of her former happiness as she smoothed out her neglected skills. After about ten minutes she turned to him with a frown.

"You enjoyed trashing bands."

Spike raised an eyebrow at her. "I did."

"You also took pleasure in causing them to break up."

Spike paused. She didn't seem angry, just curious, so he nodded.

"Why?"

He sighed. "My father was never home when I was growing up. Even when my mother was sick, he was too busy with his band. When I toured with him, I criticized them, hoping they would break up. Instead, he actually listened to me."

"When they had their rebound." Her voice was quiet.

"Yeah. I was angry that they were going strong again. That resentment towards my father turned into one towards any band. I took my anger at my father out in those reviews. I figured if they couldn't handle it, then they wouldn't make it in the business anyway.

"Anyway, that was how it was at the beginning. Later, I realized that it was more than revenge on my father. It was something I was really good at, and I enjoyed it. My fans still email me."

Buffy lifted her eyebrow. "So, you later enjoyed writing those harsh words for the fun of it?"

Spike grinned.

After three weeks, practice ended after exhausting eight hour days. It was worth it, though. They were at a level beyond when Buffy had quit.

During a break, Willow walked up to Spike and smiled. "We sound so much better now. It helps we practice all day because school is out." Her expression turned serious. "I don't know if you had anything to do with Buffy coming back, but if you did, thank you."

"Giles and Dawn were the ones that got her to therapy. I just agreed to help you guys." He looked to the ground. He may have had a part because she finally cried because of him, but didn't mention that to Willow. Spike knew that Buffy didn't want her friends to know about their past relationship. She was still ashamed of using him.

Willow contemplated him before finally nodding. She walked back over to the rest of the group where Buffy excitedly talked with them. While it pained Spike that Buffy had never been that happy with him, he was glad to see her so happy. She glowed.

And that made him happy.

TBC - Thanks for the reviews





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