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Chapter Fifteen: Without Me

“Mom, I love you. Thanks so much for understanding.” Buffy said hugging her mother.

Joyce gave her oldest daughter a gentle smile, a weak smile. Inside, although she hid it, she wasn’t doing well, and Joyce figured it was best if Buffy made an attempt to get back the one person who brought the light in her eyes.

“Just be careful, honey.”

The break down helped ease her pain, after she admitted her true feelings. It didn’t take Buffy long to take a flight back to New York, an attempt to rekindle what they’d lost with her mistake. She hoped that he was there, waiting for her.

*

She used the key she’d forgotten to give back to make her way into the apartment, and it was back to the disheveled appearance it was in when she first visited. It was somewhat worse.

She made her way to his room with caution, hoping to find him there. She entered, and saw the shattered picture on the floor. She picked up the pieces, throwing out the glass, and placing the photo on the nightstand. She sat on the rumpled bed, and saw the pink t-shirt she thought she lost.

A smile found it’s way to her lips, as she folded it, and placed it on his pillow. She thought it was a good idea if she waited. The ringing of the phone had her up, and in the kitchen. She didn’t make in time, but the answering machine picked up.

“Spike, it’s Candy. Last night was wonderful, and I was wondering if you’d like to come by tomorrow. Call me.” A Chipper voice said, and Buffy’s smile faded.

She hesitated at first, but the blinking 7 on the answering machine was calling her. She pressed play, and heard a streak of different female voices.

“It’s Lilah. I’m up for desk sex, my office, around 5.”

“Blondie bear, I missed you last night. Come by tonight, please.”

“Hey Spike, Faith. I was hoping you were up for a little one on one if you know what I mean. You know where to find me.”

“Veruca here. We’re playing at the club tonight, thought you’d be interested I coming by after the show, have a little fun.”

“Hey Spike, it’s Fred. I’ve been looking for Buffy. She didn’t even say goodbye, and Gunn and I were worried. It’s been a while. Pass this message to her when you can.”

Tears flooded her eyes, and she rushed for the exit, and down the stairs. On the way she bumped into him.

“Buffy!” He was shocked, and concerned. “What’s going on, what are you doing?” He went to grab her arm, but she flinched backwards. “Buffy, Luv, don’t do that. I won’t hurt you.”

“I was stupid to think you’d be waiting for me.” Her voice shook as her tears overcame, and she was running away.

He chased her out of the building. “Please, don’t leave me.”

She spun around to face him. “Looks like you have more than enough to keep you occupied. Your answering machine speaks volumes.” She was off, heading for the train station.

Fury took him, and he let it out on the cement structure he called home. A crack rang out as his knuckles connected with the building, but he was numb to the pain.

*

“I can’t believe it. Six girls on the machine?” Fred asked a tearful Buffy.

“Seven if I include you.” Buffy sniffled. She was so grateful for the skinny brunette before her, who didn’t hesitate to allow Buffy to stay. “I can’t believe I thought I’d just walk in there and claim him again. I’m such an idiot.”

“You’re in love.” Fred comforted.

“And he’s not. He’s been sleeping with half of New York.” She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, and let out a sigh.

“I don’t know, Buffy. Maybe he was trying to forget you. He hurt you, something bad, and instead of going after you he decided to take it out by sleeping with an array of different girls.” Fred explained, sitting beside Buffy on her floral print couch.

“That doesn’t help much…” Buffy was drowsy from all the crying. She had arrived in New York that afternoon and she was planning on leaving the next morning. “I mean, I kissed Parker, and all I could think about was how I felt when Spike kissed me. Riley has been trying so hard to fix things between us, but I make it clear tat I’m not interested. Now, seeing how Spike was so quick to get comfort in other places, I wish I would have done the same.”

*

Spike spent the night in the emergency room, getting his fractured knuckles in a cast. He fucked up, once again. When he saw her, all of the emotions he’d been failing to ignore, came rushing back.

As the nurse fitted him with the cast, he couldn’t help but wish he had gone after her. He was sure he was the last person she anted at that point.

“How’s this happen?” She strawberry blonde nurse asked innocently, a flirtatious smile on her face.

“I punched a wall after a little argument with my girlfriend.” He couldn’t believe he referred to Buffy as his girlfriend. It had been a while since he had her in his arms.

“Either she really pissed you off, or you fucked up.” She said.

“I fucked up, but she’s going to forgive me. She can’t bloody live without me.” It all became clear, what he’d have to do, and it started with disconnecting his phone.

*A/N: I'm such a tease....anyway...I know I'm dragging this out really far, but it'll be worth it....Spike will be back after the next chapter....:-P...I just like to make u guys suffer a bit...j/k....Well, reveiw!! Thanx to Ash.*





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