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Chapter Eighteen: I Promise

In the middle of the night, Buffy awoke from the best slumber she had in weeks, to see Spike’s face, so innocent as he slept. She felt a million times better after yesterday’s episode, but she wasn’t ready to forgive him for the other day. She removed his arm from her waist, slowly, and stood.

He stirred and whimpered at the loss of touch, but remained asleep. She leaned over and kissed his forehead, before making her way out of the room. She crept into Dawn’s room, and heard sniffling.

“Dawn?” She questioned into the darkness.

“Yeah?” Dawn was still awake, unable to sleep due to the stress that had sent her into a downward spiral. She lay with her back to Buffy, her shoulders shuddering.

Buffy moved to the side of the bed. “I came to stay with you for a little…talk a bit.”

“Let me guess, Spike healed you and now you’re going to try with me. Well, save it. Mom’s gone, and no boy or even you can change the way I feel.” Dawn was cold.

Buffy lay in the bed beside her, taking some of the covers and snuggling in. She wrapped her arms around her sister’s waist and pulled her close. “I’m not trying to, and I don’t feel great about what’s happening. I just want to be there for you. I haven’t exactly been the strong one the last couple of days.”

“Days? How about, since you got back from New York the first time.” Dawn said. “Is everything better with you and Spike?”

“He comforted me, but there’s still a lot to talk about. I wish I could just forgive him, but I can’t right now.” Buffy sighed, and tightened her hold on her sister. “Now, what’s on your mind?”

“Who’s going to take care of me?” Dawn sounded scared, almost terrified.

“Giles and me. Giles sent a letter to Dad in Europe, asking for full custody of you. We’re waiting for a reply.” Buffy explained.

“What about you?” Dawn yawned a bit.

“I’m twenty years old, I don’t exactly need a parent, but I’ll be living here until I want to leave. Giles said he’s willing to take good care of us as long as we need him.” Buffy was so grateful for the pep talk Giles had with her at the hospital, although all she could do was nod. He was a godsend.

“We’re lucky Buffy.” Dawn whispered. “But I’m still going to miss her.”

“I know Dawn. We just have to take it one day at a time.” With soothing words of love and peace, Dawn fell asleep, and Buffy drifted along with her.

*

Spike awoke in an empty bed, alone and somewhat cold. He figured Buffy must have waked up earlier. He looked over at the digital clock on the nightstand, and it read 9AM. He yawned, and made his way out of the room after brushing his teeth.

Giles was in the hallway, on his way downstairs. “Sleep well?”

“Yeah,” Spike replied with a small smile. “Where’s Buffy?”

“Asleep in Dawn’s room.” A perplexed smile crossed Spike’s feature at the older man’s reply.

“I’m sorry…about Joyce. We all loved her.”

Giles nodded at Spike’s words, and made his way downstairs. “Wake the girls.” He called up. “We have to be at the church in an hour.”

Spike tiptoed into Dawn’s room; a smile crossing his face at the sight of the siblings snuggled up together. He laid a gentle kiss in Buffy’s hair, and she stirred.

Her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled when she saw him standing above her. “Spike…” She said groggily. Then she scowled, and jumped from the bed. “I’m still mad…I may have let you take advantage of my vulnerability with your…magic fingers, but not today.” She said, pointing a finger at him.

Magic, huh?” A cocky smile slid to his face, and he looked over at Dawn, who was sitting up and rubbing sleep from her eyes.

“Shut up.” Buffy said, rage filling her eyes. He was enjoying it; he loved it when she squirmed.

“Guys, why are you in here?” Dawn asked, standing. She wore Buffy’s yummy Sushi pajamas, her long hair in disarray.

“Sorry, nibblet. Just came to tell you and big sis here, that you have an hour to get ready for the church services.”

A silence ran through the room, and tears filled Dawn’s eyes. Buffy, reached out to comfort her little sister, and they embraced each other as their tears fell. Collapsing to the floor in a heap, they held each other for dear life, as though they were all they had left.

Spike quietly stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him. They needed each other more than anything.

*

Buffy stood before the grave as the preacher said his sermon, Dawn’s head on her shoulder, and Spike holding her hand tightly. A tear ran down her cheek and he squeezed her hand gently. She squeezed back in reply. She needed him more than anything.

After the sun went down and everyone went home for a small gathering in remembrance of her mother, Buffy stayed in the cemetery. Spike hovered in the background, giving her time. He glanced at his watch one last time, and it was already eight.

“Buffy, Luv…Giles and Dawn are gonna be worried. We should get going.” He came up behind her, whispered in her ear.

A chill went through her body. “I don’t what I’m thinking of more…the fact that she’s dead, or that I’m in love with you.”

Spike’s breath caught in his throat and when he opened his mouth to reply, nothing came out.

She turned to him, close to him, her body touching his, clothes keeping them from feeling. She looked up into his eyes, love apparent. “But we’re not made for each other. We weren’t meant to be.”

“Buffy…we are…I messed up and I’m sorry. Yesterday...” His words were sincere, and tears began flooding through both. He leaned in kissing her cheek, tasting her water.

“I was weak yesterday, I needed you more than anything. Now, I think I just need time…you hurt me. Not with those girls or how you treated me that night, but you didn’t come after me or call. You left me on the floor in that hallway, and you basically spat on me.”

“I was drunk and I did call, Buffy, but captain cardboard told me you didn’t want to speak to me.”

“What do expect, Spike? That he was going to just hand me the phone. In his eyes you took me away from him. You didn’t try again.” There was so much pain in her voice.

It was killing him. “I’m so sorry.”

“If you really mean that, you’ll give me a chance to think.” Her words were soft, as she leaned up, and captured his lips. One last kiss before they parted ways.

“Please…just come back to me.” His voice was hoarse, and he sounded like he was taken by agony.

“I will…I promise.”

*A/N: The end is near...but will Buffy and Spike choose each other??? Reveiw...





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