Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks for all the reviews ^-^
Chapter 5: Today has been okay



Friends tell me it's spring
My window show the same
Without you here the seasons pass me by
I know you were not new
That loved like me and you
All the same I miss you
Today has been ok
Today has been ok

Emiliana Torrini




Somehow I didn’t forget the night with Will. The first 3 days were okay. I was great at pretending everything was fine, but the 4th day I collapsed and since then I’m a wreck. Sort of. I’ve been crying a lot and eating a lot of ice cream and chocolate chip cookies.
Everyone thinks I’m still moping about the break up with Riley and no one seems to notice that Will and I haven’t seen each other in 3 weeks. Except for Willow, but she thinks that has a different reason.




Anyways, being down is not good for me. I gained 6 pounds over the past couple of days, so I’ve decided to give my life a new spin.




“Hook me up.” I say to Wills when I come into the store.
“Hey, Buffy. How are you?” She replies in a cheerful voice.
“Hook me up.” I repeat.
“I’m getting better and I decided to come to work today, so my lovely best friend Willow could go back to working 2 days a week.”




“Ha ha, very funny. Hook me up. You know people, you have this group that you and Tara go to right?” I ask with a hopeful face.
“Yes and we meet a lot of eligible straight men.” Willow said with a sarcastic voice, “Or have you decided you’re done with men?”




“Oh,” is my only reply. I climb over the counter and sit down on one of the stools.
“Although, I think I know someone who you might like. He’s a real cutie.”
I pull up my eyebrows.
“I’m gay, Buff, not blind.” She says dryly.
“Ah right. Tell me something about him.”



“His name is Ben Wilkinson. He’s 27 years old. Tall with light brown hair and brown eyes. He studying to become a surgeon.” Willow sums up.
“Sounds good. Can you arrange something for me?” I pose.



“Buffy, are you sure that-“
“Yes.”
“I have the feeling you’re not-“
“I’m fine.”
“You-“
“Yes”
“Rea-“
“Yes.”
“Alright. I will call him and see if he’s interested.”
“Thank you Wills,” I smile.


*^*^*^*

Willow arranged a date for me with Ben this Saturday. We agreed to meet each other at 7, in front of Archie M. It’s only 3 and already I’m busy making myself look good.
I think it’s for the best since I emptied my closet on my bed and I sooo don’t know what I should wear. It sucks.



In the background Butterfly Boucher’s blaring that life is short. Although it’s a happy song and meant to encouraging, it’s not really helping at this moment. I skip to the next song. Sing for Absolution by Muse. Better. At least you can’t really hear what Matthew is singing.



After 2 hours I decide to go for the casual look and put on jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt. Then I chose to eat a sandwich. Somehow I never eat much on a date. It’s very strange I know. Especially since I’m almost like vacuum cleaner.
I watch some TV until it’s time to leave.



*^*^*^*


Ben is a sweetheart. He’s cute and intelligent. He likes the same things I do and is a total gentleman. He doesn’t want me to pay for anything.
But I feel nothing. Not even a teeny tiny spark. We end up drinking coffee at his place.





“Did you like tonight?” Ben asks me when we’re sitting on his couch.
I nod slowly. It was nice to be out for a change.
Suddenly he moves closer and puts his arm on my shoulder. I see where this is heading and pull back.
“Ben, look. You’re a really nice guy-“
“So you didn’t have it too?” He interrupts me.
“Didn’t have what?” I ask him confused.




“The spark. You’re a perfect woman. You’re beautiful and kind. You like the same stuff. We’re a match made in heaven. Except that there is no chemistry.” Ben explains.
“Right.” I conclude, “I have that too.”
“Right.”
“But if you felt no chemistry why did you try to kiss me?”
“I wanted to see if it made a difference. Sometimes chemistry just needs a push.”



“I don’t think it’ll work, Ben. You’re a really nice guy and I’d like us to be friends. You can come by the store whenever you want, but there’s nothing there.” I tell him.
“I know you’re right. But I thought, it wouldn’t hurt to try.”
I smile at him. He’s adorable. Just not so-adorable-I-want-him-to-screw-my-brains-out. It’s a pity,. I think he could be really good in bed.




“So…you wanna play a game or something?” He asks me casually.
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Trivial, Twister, Ludo, Game of the Goose, Snakes and Ladders. You pick.”
“How about…we play Crazy Eights.”
“Crazy Eights sucks. I’ll teach you Black Maria.”
“Isn’t that a variation on hearts, played with 3 people?” I ask him.
“That too, but it’s also a Finnish cardgame. It’s actually called Mustamaija. It’s translated as Black Maria and since you don’t speak Finnish you can call it Black Maria.”




“You do speak Finnish?”
Ben simply nods.
“How?”
“I lived there for 3 years.” He explains.
“You never told me that.”
“I’ve only known you for like 6 hours. It’s not that weird that you don’t know.” He smiles.




Ben gets a card deck and starts dealing. Then he explains the rules. It has something to with ending up with a queen of spades in your hands. I can’t remember exactly. We end up having a great time, as friends.




Although was nothing like I expected, I’m glad I went on a date. I gained a new friend. But still I’m sad. I guess I just miss Will a lot



*^*^*^*



It’s a sunny Wednesday afternoon and my mood is…. down. Normally Will and I go to the park and watch little kiddies play there, or since Isis came, we let her play there, but we haven’t talked to each other since the whole thing.
It sucks.



Nevertheless I go to the park. I watch the kids on the swing for a bit, until I see Will and Isis. She’s on one of the swings and he’s pushing her. Despite what my brain is yelling at me, my eyes are fixed on the little scene. They both look so happy.



I get a hollow feeling in my stomach, which I never had before. Suddenly Will looks up and sees me. His smile falters. Tears jump into my eyes and don’t even wait to start streaming down my cheeks.


I turn away and start running, while the tears keep on coming.



*^*^*^*



“Hello?”
“Hey Buffy.”
“Hey Will.”
“I saw you in the park today.”
“I saw you too.”
“So…how was your day?”
“Okay.”



A/N: I thought the song was appropriate for the chapter. Download it. You can find the artist at the top and the title of this chapter is title of this fic. It's a wonderful song.
Thanks for all the reviews.Cookies and hugs for everyone! More please? *gives puppy eyes*





You must login (register) to review.