Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer_ I do not own the characters

To give you an idea of what buffy looks like from being beat by ted she looks like on the episode of end of days.
Sitting in the living room Buffy knew that she shouldn't do this. She knew that she should wait and tell, Spike and the police. But she couldn't just sit around and wait for them. She had not told them but Ted called. He called and told her to bring the money alone and do not bring anybody or he would kill Billy. So she stood up and grabbed the money. She looked up the steps and heard the shower on. Walking out the door, Buffy stood in the alley way and waited for him to show up. She just prayed that she was doing the right thing and that her son was alive.

Dragging Billy down the alley he smirked. Seeing her there he knew that this was going to be a lot of fun and he knew that no one would save her. He slapped the little boy when they where in front of her, "Mommy!!! Please make the bad man stop" Billy cried. Buffy looked at him and threw the money on the ground by Ted, "Let him go, Ted. There is your fucking money. Now leave us the hell alone." He smirked and threw Billy to his mom. Buffy caught him and hugged him tight. That's when Ted pulled her away from him by the hair, "Billy!! Go get daddy!! Hurry." The little boy ran as fast as his little legs could carry him.

Ted threw Buffy across the alley and into the wall. She screamed when pain shot through her body, "Ted..Please don't do this. Just leave me alone." She yelled through pain. But Ted did not stop. He pulled her hair and then slapped her making her fall, "You know? No wonder your father hated you! Your nothing but a little whore. That's why Spike didn't stay and come back to you. Because he knew that you where nothing but a little whore." He kicked her in the side repeatedly. Buffy tried to crawl away. But he grabbed her legs and then stabbed her right one. She screamed and tried to push him away. So she did what she could. She scratched his face and the made him even angrier. He slapped her several times. Then he ripped her shit and grabbed her breast roughly. She screamed and cried, "No stop it you sick fuck!!!" She yelled as much as she could. He ripped her jeans and then he freed himself and raped her. There was no mercy. He bruised her and broke her. She screamed. When he was finished he zipped himself up and then pulled the knife back out and stabbed her stomach, "You won't have to worry about living anymore Buffy. That's why your mother blamed you. Your nothing but a thing and your worthless." She saw the gun. But the last thing she remembered hearing was a gun shot.

Waking up in the hospital she looked around. She didn't remember everything that had happened. She remembered bits and pieces but that was all that she remembered. She looked over and saw someone. Her vision was blurry but soon it became clearer. It was, Spike. Tears filled her eyes, "What happened? Is Billy okay?" Spike jumped when he heard the soft husky voice. He stood and walked beside her and took her hand, "He is fine. Just bruised up and scared. He's with Willow and Xander. Why would you go alone, Buffy? Why?" He whispered. She took a deep breath which cause her broken ribs to hurt more, "He was gonna kill him, Spike. He was gonna kill my baby and I couldn't let him." She looked at him and then the doctor came in, "Miss Summers your awake. That is a good thing. We weren't sure you would make it. You had internal bleeding and your ribs where broken. You lost a good amount of blood. If the police wouldn't have gotten there you would have died. But we will release you in a few days after we see how you wounds have mended." Then he walked out.

Looking at Spike she could tell that it had to have been a couple of days, "How...How long have I been out?" She whispered. Looking at her he shrugged, "A week. They didn't think... But I knew that you would make it. I knew that you where strong." He gave her a weak smile and when she asked what happened he told her. At the end she was in tears. He held her gently. He knew this would take a long time for her to heal. Not just physically but mentally. But he knew that she was strong and that she would survive. She would and so wouldn't he. They all would.

Three months passed and Buffy had closed herself off from everyone. She couldn't stand the way they acted and looked at her. She knew that they felt bad and everything but all she wanted was to be the same girl she once was. And she wanted them to see that she could be. She didn't go back to her old ways though. She was strong. That's what she kept telling herself. But she was a bad mother. She barely even looked at Billy. Today was his birthday and she heard them all down stairs and the playing and everything. She couldn't stand that she wasn't apart of that. She hated that she was scared to trust her friends now. But how could she.

The party ended and Billy went home with Willow and Xander. Spike was sick and tired of the way she was acting. He knew that she was in pain but she had no right to treat any of them like this, "Spike just don't hurt her okay?" Spike smirked, "I won't. She will be the Buffy we knew five years ago." He hugged Willow and kissed his son bye. He stomped up the steps and tried her door. Locked. "Open this fucking door now Buffy Anne or I will kick it down." When she answered she was cold and harsh, "Fuck you, Spike. Leave me alone. I don't feel like putting up with your shit." Then she screamed when he kicked the door down, "Hey!!! Your going to pay for that!" She yelled and pointed at the door, "Yeah and your gonna GROW THE FUCK UP! Get over it Buffy. Its been three months. And your hiding away from all of us! Just because they look at you and want to help you doesn't mean they fucking feel sorry for you. Maybe you deserved what happened to you." He knew he was harsh but this was the only way to make her see. She glared at him and yelled, "How the hell can you say that I deserved to get almost beat to death, stabbed, and raped? No body fucking deserves that! You don't get it! None of you do! Its my fault Billy was kidnapped! I let him go out alone! I should have been there!!" There she had said it. Spike never thought it was her fault. Not once but he looked at her, "It was no ones fault. You listen to me. Your going to start eating and your going to start going out more. DON'T talk. And if you don't. I will have you sent away."

She stood there gaping at him. He was serious! The fucking bastard was serious. She walked up to him and took a deep breath. Then she slapped him. She smiled. That felt good. She felt like her old self again. Spike smirked and caught her wrist, "that's my girl. Your strong love. NOW SIT DOWN!" She stood and stuck her chin in the air and challenged him. He shrugged and picked her up and sat her on the bed. "Talk to me, Buffy." She looked at him and started, "I feel like I'm worse than anyone. Honestly, I'm beneath them. My friends, my boyfriends.You. I feel like I'm not worthy of your guys' love. 'Cause even though you all love me, it doesn't mean anything 'cause your opinions don't matter. You guys don't know. You haven't been through what I've been through. Your not me. No one is. I am me. Sometimes I feel..This is horrible but sometimes I feel you all deserve better then me."

Looking in her green eyes he shook his head. He smiled and took her hand, "You listen to me. I've seen things you couldn't imagine, and done things I prefer you didn't. I don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood, which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes, a lot of wrong bloody calls and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of: you. Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy." When he was finished Buffy smiled and kissed him on the lips.





You must login (register) to review.