Buffy woke up to the all too familiar brashness of a hospital ward. Her focusing eyes soon told her she was currently staying on the maternity ward, and however much she wanted to deny the fact that she was pregnant, the clinical authority of those two printed words seemed to finally hit the information home for her, and she burst into a heaving fit of tears.
“Buffy?” asked the voice of someone at her bedside.
She turned her sobbing head toward the man, and abruptly stopped crying when she saw her mortal enemy staring back at her.
“You alright love?”
“I’m fine.” she said, though speaking so soon after her heaving sobs was clearly inadvisable, as her voice came out in an undignified wobble. “I’m fine.”
“Very convincing.” Spike intoned, his voice teasing but gentle, “Almos’ believed ya pet.”
Buffy looked away, then down slowly. There was something a little too unsettling about her mortal enemy being this nice to her, and it set her on edge with fear about why he would need to be.
“Is...” her eyes remained settled on her stomach, “Is my baby okay?”
She feared the answer so much she couldn’t believe it. Just hours ago she’d been denying this child’s existence, but all of sudden it seemed incredibly important that it was still there at all.
“Spike?”
She looked up to meet his smiling eyes and instantly her fears were sated; strange, that it would be Spike, her enemy, who made her feel safe and secure once more.
She strained her neck as he produced something from his pocket and held it out to her.
“You’re six months gone Buffy,” he said, showing her the smudgy blob that was her baby on the photograph the nurse had taken from her scan, half an hour earlier, “Doc said the baby’s fine, small but healthy. You’ll probably start showing soon enough.”
Buffy stared at the small black and white photo dangling before her, eyes transfixed with amazement. Slowly, her face broke out into a truly mesmerised smile and tears filled her eyes as she held her hands out to bring the image closer.
“Six months?” she repeated, trying to think back to what she and Riley had been doing, six months ago today.
“She’s due mid September.” Spike clarified with a smile, “Believe me now?”
He handed the photograph to Buffy and she brought it close to her face, staring down at the tiny blob.
“Believe you.” she whispered, too awed by the image to even bother being mean to him. “Wait a minute... She?”
Spike quickly tried to back-track, smiling nervously as he said, “Always call babies ‘she’, makes it... Uh, easier.”
“I’m having a girl?!” Buffy cried, her smile huge, “A baby girl?”
Spike heaved a sigh of relief. “Yeah.” he said. “A daughter.”
Buffy’s breathing hitched with excitement, and she reached toward Spike, desperate to draw him too, closer.
“Look at her!” she cried, pulling Spike onto the bed beside her, “Look at my daughter! She’s perfect!”
Spike chuckled, entranced by her closeness and the sound of two thumping heartbeats. “Takes after her mother.” he said in a teasing voice, “Probably grow up to be just as bossy.”
Buffy slapped him playfully on the arm, then looked up as someone entered the room.
“Ah, miss Summers,” said a spectacle-clad man. “I see you’re feeling better.”
“Much.” Buffy clarified.
“Well, the tests are all complete and mother and baby are both fine, so you’re free to discharge as soon as you like.”
“Great!” Buffy enthused, moving herself out of the hospital bed, “Then I guess I’ll see you in... Three months time.”
The doctor nodded, smile on his face. He always loved to see happy couples expecting, it was so much more pleasant than having to console single mothers.
“Listen, I hate to bring this up,” he said, looking concerned as he flipped back through her notes, “But it seems you suffered a stab wound a few weeks ago, that you weren’t admitted for.”
A look of worry creased Buffy’s face and she looked up to Spike who instantly took charge.
“Her closest friend is a doctor,” he explained quickly, pulling Buffy’s hand into his own for believability. “He sorted her out.”
The doctor looked disapproving for a moment, but his expression cleared slightly. “Well whoever he is, he certainly saved your child’s life.” he said, his eyes soft, “If the wound had been left any longer than it was, it most certainly would have infected, leading to potential miscarriage.” Buffy’s hand tightened around Spike’s, “But the wound was clearly treated with care and as it was successfully mended and the baby’s life was saved, along with Miss Summers too, I’d wager.”
Buffy looked up at Spike and he couldn’t miss the gratitude in her eyes.
“Take good care of her.” the doctor said to Spike, knowing smile still in place.
“Will do.” he said.
And little did Buffy know, he truly meant it.
.....................................................................
It was round about the moment she walked through her front door when she finally realised what she was doing.
“Spike...” she said, almost apologetically, “I don’t think you should come in.” *almost* apologetic.
Spike looked at her; the hurt obvious on his face, though he tried to hide it. Shoulda known things wouldn’t have changed- never be good enough for her.
“Fine.” he said. “I’ll just clear off then.”
Buffy instantly regretted her cruel personal betrayal, and she called after him- but he was already gone.
She laid a hand on her stomach and sighed.
Six months pregnant? She shook her head in wonderment as she turned away from the open door. How was it even possible? Baby must be tough as old boots- God knows she’d been beaten up enough times over the last six months. Buffy cringed, her hands working protectively over the place she knew her baby lay, swearing not to endanger her in such a way again. She’d have to temporarily give up the slaying.
She sighed again, already able to predict Giles’ reaction.
Well, maybe she could ask Spike to patrol for her. Or at least, she could have, before she’d sent him away- declaring him not good enough for her home. He was probably offended now. He’d gone out of his way to help her anyway. Any other vamp surly would have taken advantage of a hurt and impregnated slayer. And it couldn’t just be the chip that directed his actions either, because he’d caught her before she’d hit the ground, then taken her all the way to the maternity ward. The chip just meant he couldn’t hurt her, it didn’t force him to help her. But he had.
And little as she liked to admit it, Spike had helped her of his own accord. Again. And she didn’t know what that meant.
.....................................................................
Joyce had taken the news of her pregnancy a lot better than Buffy could ever have hoped for.
Her mother’s tight embrace had encircled her with a glowing expression of love and pride as she smoothed her hand over the belly that was finally beginning to swell.
“A baby girl.” Joyce mused lovingly, “I can barely hope to believe it Buffy.”
“You’re not mad?” her daughter murmured, snuggling deeper into her mother’s embrace, “Not mad at me?”
“Oh, how could I be Buffy?” she asked, stroking her daughter’s blond hair lovingly, “You have to live every moment of your life to the fullest Buffy, and I always hated the idea of you never knowing what it is to be a mother.”
Buffy felt tears well a little in her eyes, and she clung to her mother tightly.
“I love you mom.” she said, “I love you so much. You don’t know what it means to me to have your approval.”
Joyce stroked her daughter’s soft hair, soothing away the pain she knew she must be feeling. “I love you Buffy.” she replied, “And nothing you do could ever change that. This... This is all going to work out.”
“You’re going to be a grandmother.” Buffy added, pulling back to smile up at her mother, who frowned with concern at her daughter’s wetted cheeks.
“How many months gone are you baby?” she asked, smoothing a hand over her soft forehead.
“Six.” Buffy said, the happy glint shinning in her eyes once more. “The doctor said that she’s pretty small, considering how far along I am, but she’s healthy.”
“Six months?” Joyce asked, incredulous. “And you didn’t notice?” she added in a teasing voice.
Buffy laughed slightly, shaking her head. “It was Spike.” she said, and at her mother’s surprised and pleased look, she quickly amended; “I mean it was Spike who realised that I was pregnant.” her face flushed as she said, “Not who... You know.”
Joyce laughed, shaking her head. “My mistake.” she said earnestly, “Was it Spike who took you to the hospital?”
Buffy nodded.
“He’s a good man.” Joyce said, giving her daughter another tight squeeze as a knowing expression crossed her face, “He always has been in my eyes.”
Buffy rolled her eyes, almost laughing aloud at the obvious pitch her mother was going for.
“I know mom.” she said. “You’ve been president of the ‘We Love Spike’ fan club for the at least three years now.”
“A club that’s sadly lacking in numbers.” Joyce said, watching her daughter closely, and smiling when she sighed with faux exasperation.
“I’m not saying that I’m ready to be a fully subscribed member,” Buffy said, “But I might just attend a meeting. You know, check it out. See what its all about.” she looked her mother in the eyes as she said, “I’m going to give... The Club... A chance, mom.”
Joyce nodded, satisfied with the answer.
“Good.” she folded her arms across her chest, “Now, don’t you think it’s about time you went and told those friends of yours about your rather delicate condition?”
....................................................................
Two hours later the Slayer returned home, tears streaking her cheeks as she sought her mother, desperate to tell her how terribly wrong things had gone with her friends. How truly un-understanding they’d been about the situation that her mother and mortal enemy had been genuinely thrilled about.
“Mom!” she yelled, heading toward the stairs, “Mom, you here?”
The sight of shattered glass on the kitchen floor, by the door, caught her attention and she jogged through the living room and round the corner.
She stumbled to a stop, her hand flying to her opened mouth in shock as her eyes fell on her unconscious mother, lying sprawled on the floor like a doll.
“Mommy?” she whispered as dull and unfocused eyes stared up at her, unmoving.
...................................................................
Buffy threw the door to his crypt open, feeling the pain of rejection, and the fear of being alone, burning inside of her. “Spike!” she cried out, grasping the doorframe as she panted slightly from the distance she’d run in her panic. “Spike?”
Silence met her calls and she blinked back tears as she realised he must be out. Her only confidant and he was out.
Tears slipped unheeded down her cheeks as she realised again just how truly alone she was in all this. Her friends... She couldn’t believe they’d react in such a way. And with her mother in hospital, and Dawn staying with Janice... God, she’d never felt so alone in all her life.
“Spike?” she tried a final time, already knowing that she wouldn’t be able to go home like this, and face the empty and dark house.
Her feet carried her toward the dirty sofa sitting before the television in one dark corner of his crypt, and she fell in a heap on top of its dusty cushions. Sighing, she flicked the TV on, desperate to hear the warm voices she craved, and slowly she drifted off to sleep. A curled up ball on Spike’s couch.
And that was how he found her when he returned four hours later.
“Slayer?” he asked, causing her to stir, “You been here all night?”
She sat up, rubbing her eyes as she looked up at him. “What time is it?” she asked.
“Just after sun-up.” he told her, his voice quiet. “Were you looking for me?” She nodded mutely and he frowned, kneeling down beside her as glittering tears swamped her chestnut eyes. “What is it?”
“It’s...” she looked down, “My friends weren’t so happy to hear about the baby.”
“They weren’t?” he asked, astounded.
She shook her head. “Giles said the Slayer can’t afford to have children.” she rubbed her sore eyes once more. “He told me to get an abortion, and when I told him it was too late he flipped out.”
“And the others?” Spike asked, his voice disgusted.
“They called me stupid.” she whispered, clearly distraught. “They told me to call Riley, and when I told them that I couldn’t, they yelled at me so much I had no choice but to leave.”
She climbed down from the sofa and slumped on the floor next to Spike, allowing him to take her hand into his own.
“Mom was taken into hospital last night.” she murmured, her gaze on the floor. “Dawnie went to stay with a friend.” she felt Spike’s hand caressing hers. “I didn’t know where else to go.”
“I don’t know if it’s a comfort to you pet, but I’ll always be here.” he said as he placed another gentle hand on the bump that was her growing child, “You don’t need to worry about being alone.”
Buffy felt her eyes well with tears and the hand that rested on the floor beside her raised slowly to touch his face. She could trust him; she knew she could.
“You mean it?” she asked softly, insecurities slipping through non-the less as she finally looked up into his eyes.
“I mean it pet. I do.” he kissed the top of her head, wishing he had the courage to tell her just how much he truly loved her. “And your friends... They’ll come around in time. They’re just confused.”
Buffy nodded, staring forward across his dim crypt.
“Thank you.” she said. “For everything.”
.....................................................................................