Buffy placed the tiny bundle into his arms and Spike gazed down into the scrunched up face of the love of his life’s daughter.
“She’s perfect.” were the only words he could manage, his unneeded breath hitching in his throat as his eyes worked out each of her precious features and stored them to his memory. “So perfect.”
His eyes slowly drifted back to Buffy who was staring up at him contentedly, her arms laying gently atop the pink comforter as she watched him cradling her child.
Strange that she didn’t feel the slightest concern about the supposed monster she was allowing to hold her new-born baby; quite the opposite in fact, she felt beyond comforted by the image of his strong arms wrapped around her delicate little form.
“Do you think?” she enquired in response to his statement.
“More than perfect Buffy.” he replied. “She’s your daughter.”
The young Slayer smiled at that, her face flushing with happiness.
“My daughter.” she agreed, her eyes closing with exhaustion. “Our baby girl.”
Spike held the tiny person close to his still heart, smiling softly as he leant forward to press a gentle kiss to his exhausted Slayer’s forehead.
“I’ll take care of you both.” he whispered against her skin, “I promise you. I promise.”
“I believe you,” she breathed back, though later Spike would tell himself it was merely the exhaustion talking. “I trust you Spike.”
“I’m glad.”
He climbed onto her bed beside her and gently placed her baby back into her arms; touching her tiny face in wonderment. It was strange, how completely she looked like her mother; beautiful.
Buffy curled her body into his, moving the baby so she was held protectively between them both and making Spike feel warmer than he ever had before. The fact that she was not only accepting his presence beside her, but quite openly welcoming it was... Well, incredible.
“What are you going to call her?” he murmured, his hand drifting from the baby’s face to the Slayer’s soft hair. She didn’t seem to notice his indiscretion.
“I was thinking...” Buffy said, her eyebrows scrunching with the importance of the decision, “Maybe Caitlin.”
Spike smiled; loving the tiny girl’s name already.
“It’s perfect.” he said, “What does it mean?”
She looked up at him; her green eyes pooling in his with strange new emotions.
“I don’t know.” she admitted, her voice carelessly happy, “Does it have to mean something?”
“Of course not.”
“I just saw it in a bridal magazine once,” she justified, her eyes still in his, “I liked it since then; I just never thought I’d get the chance to use it; get the chance to name a child of my very own.”
He cupped her cheek gently, smile in place.
“Well you did.” he said. “And I think Caitlin is the perfect name for this little chit.”
Buffy smiled happily, her hand rising to meet his, sending a jolt of electricity through his body.
“Oh my God!” cried an excited voice, and Buffy and Spike both glanced up in time to see Dawn come hurtling through the door. “Baby baby baby?” she asked; her eyes flying between the two of them, “My God, she’s so adorable! She’s tiny! Oh Buffy, can I hold her?”
Buffy smiled warmly, looking from Spike to her younger sister.
“Of course.” She said, nodding her over. “But hush Dawnie, she’s sleeping.”
“Oh!” Dawn whispered, huge grin in place, and she crawled onto the bed t squeeze in between Spike and Buffy, before holding her arms out for her tiny niece.
Buffy placed the pink mass into Dawn’s arms and the fifteen year old was immediately sated.
“Oh…” she said, her face flushing a little with happiness. “Buffy, she’s beautiful.”
“Isn’t she?” Spike agreed, and Buffy beamed.
“Have you named her?”
“Caitlin.” Buffy replied, her eyes beginning to drift closed.
Spike smiled, reaching his arm around Dawn to grasp Buffy’s shoulder.
And then the three of them lay there together, a picture of happiness, embraced on Buffy’s hospital bed.
……………………………………………………
A doctor came in a short while later, though Spike couldn’t be sure of the precise time since they had all fallen asleep, and the grave look on his face managed to startle Spike back to full consciousness.
“What is it?” the vampire asked, trying to read the man’s expression. “Something wrong with the little one?”
The doctor looked at the sleeping sisters, then lowered his gaze, saying,
“Perhaps I could speak with you briefly,” sending chills of fear into Spike’s heart.
He untangled himself from the Summers’ girls, getting to his feet quietly so as not to wake them, and privately dreading whatever it was the doctor had to say.
“What’s wrong?” Spike said as soon as they were outside of the hospital room. He addressed his question to the doctor, though his eyes were still rooted on the sleeping Slayer and her family. His family.
Not willing to look away for even a moment, lest something happen to one of them.
“Is it Buffy? Is Caitlin okay?”
“I’m afraid this may come as some what of a shock,” the doctor said, his voice laced with sincere apology, “Sadly, Joyce Summers passed away during the night.”
Spike’s rooted eyes were suddenly blurred.
He didn’t hear the words. They didn’t make sense to him.
“What?”
“Her condition had continued to worsen, and since she refused any further tests or observation, she-”
“Wait… Wait a minute,” Spike said, his brow crinkling, “She refused…?”
“She was thinking of her daughter.” The doctor said, and he too was looking at the young mother and her new-born child. “As I said, her condition worsened drastically last night, and she passed away around midnight.”
“But I… I spoke to her.” Spike said, his voice suddenly desperate. This was wrong, it had to be! Buffy had just given birth, her mother couldn’t be gone now. Not when she needed her, “I saw her yesterday. I told her Buffy had gone into labour!”
The doctor nodded sadly, and Spike finally looked him fully in the face.
“She was so happy for her.” The doctor said, his voice kindly, “Be happy she lived long enough to know.” Then he placed a gentle hand on the vampire’s shoulder, “I believe she was holding on just to hear that her daughter had given birth. That everything was okay.”
Spike looked down as tears threatened to spill.
Not Joyce. Not his mum.
“Do you want me to tell her daughters?” the doctors asked, and Spike shook his head.
“No… No.” he said. “I… I should tell them.”
The doctor nodded, and then he looked at the slumbering girls once more.
“That’s a beautiful baby girl you have in there,” he said, his voice soft, “Be thankful that she is alright. You’re lucky.”
“I know.” Spike said, though thoughts of his surrogate mother kept him from feeling anywhere near ‘lucky’.
“I’m… I’m sorry.” The doctor said finally, ready to leave Spike on his own again. “If it consoles you at all to know, Joyce did slip away peacefully, and she was undeniably happy in her final hours.”
Somehow, these words only managed to deepen the pain Spike felt, as if they somehow made the whole situation that little bit more true, and he allowed himself a soft sob for the mother he had loved dearly.
The doctor was gone.
He looked back at his girls.
Dawn was moving in her sleep, her arm curling around Buffy and the tiny baby. Buffy’s face was simply beautiful, and her soft smile made Spike’s heart ache.
But he had to be the one to tell them.
They were his to look after now. All three of them. His.
“Buffy love,” he said softly as he walked back into her room, “Lil’ Bit, are you awake pet?”
The pretty girls blinked slightly, and Spike reached down to take the newest Summers child into his arms. He cradled her small form against him, then sat down at the end of Buffy’s bed.
Dawn grinned, stretching her limbs out as she sat up. “We fell asleep,” she all but giggled, looking over at Buffy who smiled back at her. “There’s a novelty that we’ll be missing out on as soon as we get my baby niece back home.”
She said it even though she knew they wouldn’t be going home.
And Buffy smiled back at her sister, even though she knew that soon enough they’d be running for their lives, doing what ever it took to stay one step ahead of Glory.
Still, she smiled sleepily, not wanting to think about any of that just yet.
She looked at Spike. His eyes were down-cast and he looked pensive, so she reached out and tapped his with a small fist.
“Smile please, Mr party-pooper.” She said, grinning at him, “Everything worked out remember? So far so good.”
And, oh God! To her utter surprise, he began to cry! Not weeping with huge ghastly sobs, but just letting his eyes rest on her as silver tears slipped over his hollow cheek bones. She stared at him with shock as he silently grieved, and it filled her with a sense of protectiveness.
“Spike.” She said, pushing herself onto her knees so she could wrap her arms around him with a tentative hug, “Sweetie, its okay. Everything is okay.”
She didn’t know where the words of comfort were coming from, but they seemed like the most natural thing in the world.
Instinctual, almost.
Spike let his head rest against her shoulder, inhaling her scent as she just held him.
Dawn watched, awe-struck, unable to even contemplate what she was seeing. The wonder of the Slayer and the Vampire supporting each other before her very eyes. Her sister and her best friend.
“Spike,” Buffy pulled back to look at him, her eyes full of question marks as she raised an enthralled hand to wipe his silent tears away, “What’s wrong?”
He looked down as he whispered. “I’m so sorry.” Then he forced his eyes up again, “Girls, I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry for what?” Dawn asked, edging closer as she stared at the broken vampire.
“Spike, you have nothing to be sorry for.” Buffy added, her hand still rested on his cheek.
He shook his head. No.
Buffy felt her heart clench.
“What’s going on?” she whispered as she watched Spike’s eyes dip down once more.
Dawn touched his arm. Buffy’s warm hand remained on his cheek. Caitlin lay cradled in his arms.
“Joyce… Your mum…” he said, feeling the support of the girls around him, “…she passed away in her sleep last night.”
Neither Buffy nor Dawn responded.
“She… She died.”
Buffy’s hand slipped away, her head turning from Spike as she shook it in refusal.
“No…” she whispered, feeling her heart falling apart. “No. You’re… You’re wrong.”
“You’re wrong.” Dawn agreed, her face crimson. “You’re wrong.”
Spike felt the tears Buffy had wiped from his cheeks, reappear once more as he experienced their pain.
“You’re…” Buffy wanted to accuse him of lying, but the words stuck on her tongue as she realised. He wouldn’t lie to her. And he’d certainly never deliberately hurt her. She turned to look at him, to witness his silent tears. And she shook her head again as their eyes met, “No, please no.” she whimpered as she moved closer to him. His arm wound around her slight form and her face pressed against his shoulder. “Please tell me it’s not true.”
Spike just held her, letting her weep. He reached a hand out and grasped Dawn’s, their fingers intertwining.
“I’m so sorry love. Pet.” He said to them both as they cried against him. “I’m so, so sorry.”
………………………………………………………………
It was several hours later when the crying had lessened, and the three girls, along with their vampire protector, had fallen back into a heart-broken sleep.
And it was yet another doctor who woke them.
“Buffy!”
Yelled the doctor she knew as ‘Ben’, as he came storming into the room with no regard for the family’s privacy.
“You have to leave- now!”
Buffy woke with a start, and she looked at Ben with confused fear, while Spike shifted in front of his love protectively.
“She’s entitled to-”
“No! You have to trust me. She knows- she’s coming here now!”
And suddenly Buffy remembered Glory’s words:
“Yes, I have a friend.” Glory said, rolling her eyes. “And his name is Ben. He’s a doctor. And he tells me...” Glory smiled, taking pleasure in drawing out her revelation, “He tells me the Slayer is pregnant. Almost six months gone.”
“It was you!” Buffy cried, instantly accusational, “It was you who told-”
“No,” Ben said, “It’s not my fault. But there’s no time to explain all that now. Glory knows and she’s coming. You have to get out of here now.”
“Right.” Spike said, not needing to be told twice as he was immediately on his feet, grabbing supplies and shoving them into a bag. “Dawn, grab as many disposable nappies as you can. Buffy, are you alright? Can you manage with Caitlin?”
“I’m fine.” She replied as she struggled to her feet, still beyond exhausted.
“Hurry!” Ben added, and Spike pushed him out of the room, slamming the door in his face.
“Okay pet,” he said, pulling the Slayer’s arm over his shoulder. “We’re ready. We’ve gotta go now, so anything else-”
“Mom…” Buffy said, looking up at him, “I… We won’t have time to say… Goodbye.”
Spike felt tears biting at his eyelids again, and he looked down as he said
“She’d understand pet.”
Buffy just nodded, taking her younger sister’s hand.
“Of course.” She said. “We have to move. You’re right.”
Spike led her over to the small plastic crib, and scooped the Slayer’s sleeping daughter into his arms, before passing her back to Buffy.
“Are you alright holding her?” Spike asked, and Buffy nodded emphatically. “Then it’s time we got out of here.”
………………………………………………………
Spike glanced over at Buffy.
She was asleep.
Dawn too.
And nestled between them was the hastily-acquired baby seat which held the tiny form of Buffy’s daughter. Also asleep.
For the first time in hours, Spike allowed himself to feel content.
They were going to be okay: all of them. He’d make sure of that.
Buffy stirred in her sleep, and Spike glanced at her in the rear-view mirror. Somehow, she was managing to look back at his reflection-less self, and she smiled.
“You okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Good.”
“Good.”
And that was the precise moment that Buffy realised that feeling safe with Spike was now something that came naturally to her.
She took a moment to ponder what had happened to the scheming, evil vampire who had threatened her very life, not to mention the lives of those she loved around her. And as she thought about his dramatic change, she also realised that his past no longer mattered.
He was now, who he was now.
And that was Spike. Her ally. Her confidant. Her protector. Her friend.
She smiled at him, and he smiled back, unaware of the direction her thoughts were taking.
“So where’s the next stop?” Buffy asked, sitting forward so she could rest her chin on the back of Spike’s chair. Spike smiled, taking great comfort in her close proximity, before saying,
“Wherever you like pet,” another smile, “I figure the more distance we can put between us and Sunny Hell, the better. But the final destination is pretty much an unmade decision right now.”
“I always wanted to travel to Europe.” Buffy said, and Spike didn’t miss the slightly wistful edge to her tone. “London, Paris, Berlin. All those places seem so distant and enchanted to me.”
“Europe it is then.”
Buffy rolled her eyes. “Please,” she said, “Spike- you really think this is the right time for site-seeing?”
But the vampire just laughed, keeping his eyes on the road. “You know, I never would have taken you for the touristy-type Summers, but it seems I’ve never gotten to know you as well as I might’ve hoped.” He paused before saying, “You deserve the chance to see Europe love, and if that’s where you want to go, then that’s where-”
Spike’s sentence was dramatically cut-off as an arrow smashed through the passenger window, piercing his shoulder and effectively pinning him to his chair.
“Spike!”
“Bloody Hell!”
The car swerved, and Spike attempted to maintain control, whilst grasping desperately at his wound.
“Buffy? What’s going on?” Dawn was awake.
Caitlin began to wail.
Spike was bleeding drastically.
And Buffy felt panicked tears flood her eyes.
The car took on a mind of its own, the wheels spinning as it did a complete U-turn and ended up crashing into the base of an old oak tree.
“Well well well,” came the voice of a loathsome blonde. “What do we have here?”