Buffy did her best to smile calmly at Riley as he paced the room like a mad-man.
“Ry, calm down,” she said, finally rising to her feet, “It wasn’t such a big deal. It *isn’t* such a big deal. I’m fine now.”
“It’s not the point Buffy.” he said with annoyance, still pacing and unable to look at her, “I didn’t realise you’d gotten so sloppy.”
“Hey!” Buffy protested, realising he wasn’t pacing out of concern for her and her abdominal wound, but in annoyance at her being hurt, “Not sloppy girl here.” she assured him, “There’s nothing wrong with my slaying.”
“There clearly is.” Riley snapped, “Buffy- you got staked. Now if that’s not a sign of a sloppy Slayer then I don’t know what is.”
Buffy fumed, her fists clenching. “Riley, that’s not fair.”
“I don’t think you should patrol alone anymore.”
“What?” Buffy asked, her nose wrinkling with annoyance, “You’re not the boss of me Riley.”
“I’m your boyfriend.” he said, “And I’m *not* risking your life anymore.”
Buffy almost laughed. “I’m the Slayer.” she said instead. “I sorta deal with the life risking on a day to day basis.”
“And you’ve what, gotten used to the idea of dying?” Buffy shrugged in response. “Well not anymore!” he yelled, “What chance do you stand against the forces of darkness when you’re so careless?”
“Riley, don’t you think you’re overreacting?”
“No. I don’t- you were almost killed today Buffy; doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
“Of course it does! You think I want to die?” Buffy’s fists clenched a little more with annoyance, “That doesn’t mean you can just stop me slaying. It’s what I was born to do. I killed the vamp that staked me didn’t I?”
“Eventually.” Riley allowed, “But not before he made a shish kebab outta you.”
Buffy rolled her eyes at him, “So I can’t handle myself? Is that what you’re saying?”
“Maybe.” he snapped back. “I’m just trying to show you how serious this is. You don’t seem to understand-”
“I understand.” she interrupted in a snarl, “It’s you who doesn’t understand. You weren’t even there.”
“Well I will be- from now on.”
“No.”
“I’m not letting you slay alone.” Riley insisted.
“I’m not letting you stop me.” Buffy retorted.
“Buffy- this *isn’t* up for discussion.”
“You wanna bet?”
“Stop being so childish!”
“Me?” Buffy cried, “I just want to be allowed to do my job in peace. God- you are such a jerk sometimes.”
“Well you’re an ignorant, bossy, self-involved, self-righteous, uptight and annoying *bitch*!” Riley yelled back.
In the silence that followed his blurted statement, Buffy merely stared at him; anger burning in her eyes. Eventually, she looked away whispering;
“Get out.”
“What?” Riley asked, and she looked up with fire flashing in her eyes.
“OUT!” she screamed, “GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!”
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Buffy didn’t sleep well that night. First she ripped off the shirt Spike had leant her, and hurled it into the corner of the room, ignoring the fact that she was angry at Riley and not the vampire who had helped her. It just seemed justified to be mad at men in general.
Then she padded softly over to her mirror, peering at the dressing Spike had plastered gently to her side. She began to peel the corner down, but blanched when she saw the gash, and quickly reapplied the dressing.
Then with a sigh, she pulled on a night-shirt and crawled into her inviting looking bed.
But she couldn’t sleep. If it hadn’t had been for the huge hole in her side, she’d have been tossing and turning like a mad-man, but as it was, it was all she could do to simply lie still.
After several hours of ceiling-staring, she finally sighed, crawling out of her bed and standing in the centre of her room, looking for something, anything, to distract her from her insomnia.
Spike’s shirt lay crumpled and half-forgotten in the corner of her room. Maybe she should give it back to him.
Buffy shrugged as she picked it up, well, it would give her something to do after all.
She started for her bedroom window, but felt suddenly, overwhelmingly, tired. Slowly, hesitantly, she held the shirt up to her nose and inhaled deeply. His smell; everything about him.
It didn’t bear thinking about right now, but that smell comforted her.
Buffy crawled back into her lonely bed, the vampire’s shirt still pressed to her cheek. And she fell asleep with the red shirt he had given her, cradled in her arms.
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“Slayer.”
She turned around wearily to greet him.
“Should you really be out patrolling so soon after-”
“Oh God, don’t you start.” she snapped, eyes instantly narrowing to a glare.
Surprisingly, Spike nodded and let it go as he fell into step beside her. “Troubles with the captain?” he inquired as he discreetly checked the normality of her movement. She appeared fine, but her eyes told him different.
“Don’t call him that.” she said half-heartedly. He looked at her inquisitively and she sighed, “He thinks I need him to baby-sit me,” she said, eyes averting, slightly embarrassed now, “Everything just blew out of proportion and we ended up...” she looked up at him with a start, “God; sorry Spike. You don’t wanna be hearing this crap.”
“It’s fine.” he said.
“No, it’s not.” she insisted. “We’re enemies and I seem to just keep crossing that line. I’m sorry.”
“Slayer, it’s not a problem.”
She looked at him strangely for that comment.
“It really is.” she said. Her eyes had narrowed once more. “Spike, we’re not friends. We’re enemies. It doesn’t matter that you saved me last night, that doesn’t change anything. It just won’t do for us to get close.”
He stared at her a moment, then nodded. In an instant, he was away from her. And in that instant, Buffy felt guilt hit her full in the face.
“Spike!” she called after him. He turned around, attempting to mask the emotions on his face, “Look, I’m sorry okay. I didn’t mean to undermine what you did for me last night because it was... Well, it was a huge deal. It’s just...” she looked concerned as she continued, “I don’t know how close we should be getting.”
At his confused look, she clarified; “Pretty soon that chip’s going to come out and our whole situation is going to altar. You and I both know there’ll be a fight to the death,” she bit her lip slightly at the idea, “I just don’t know what it would mean if we were friends.”
“Fine.” he said. “Fine.”
“Oh Spike, don’t take it the wrong-”
“NO! Slayer! Damn it!” Spike yelled, spinning around, “I just can’t win with you. I do all... All I bloody well can and you still...” he looked away, “I just thought you might respect me a little more than you do.”
He stalked away from her, not wanting to hear her pitiful explanation.
He was walking aimlessly, desperately trying to get the thought of her out of his head. She was driving him crazy.
He didn’t want anything in the world, except to be allowed to love her, but she was unwilling to even allow friendship to blossom. There was no hope for him, and he knew it. She wasn’t about to turn around with a change of heart, and accept him into her life. She was strong-willed and self-righteous, and of course, he respected her for this, but it didn’t mean much for him in the long run.
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“Buffy.”
“Riley.” she replied. “Look, I’m not sure I’m ready to talk to you yet.”
His cool and calm façade instantly slipped and the eyes of anger she’d witnessed the night before returned in a flash.
“I see you haven’t become any less stubborn.” he snapped, his eyes becoming narrow slits as he glared at her.
“You really thought one night away from you would make me wake up to how I can’t live without you?” she asked, just as independent as ever, “You’re living in a different world to me Riley.”
“Clearly.” he replied, and he clenched his fists as she turned away from him, “Buffy this isn’t over. We have to talk this through.”
“Talk what through?” she snapped, her eyes just as angry as his. “Riley, you clearly have some unresolved issues regarding me, especially considering your little word vomit last night. I don’t think us talking is such a good idea right now.”
“Well we’re going to- damn it. Buffy, you’re always running away from your issues.”
“I *am not*!” she protested, arms crossing with anger, “I have to deal with death on a daily basis Riley, and I do apologise if that makes me a little-”
“Crazy?” he finished for her. “All I did was ask you to stop taking risks; stop endangering your life, and you threw me out of the house! Don’t you see how irrational that is?”
“You called me an ignorant, bossy, self-involved, self-righteous, uptight and annoying bitch.” Buffy recalled with scary accuracy, and Riley flinched as his regretted words were pulled back into the open. “Don’t you see how irrational *that* is?”
“Buffy, I didn’t mean-”
“Oh, you did.” she said, showing a surprising lack of emotion. “I’ve seen it building Riley. It doesn’t matter.”
“What?”
“Ry, you and I have been over for a long time.”
“*What*?”
“Well, we’ve been falling apart at the-”
“Buffy *what* are you trying to say?” he yelled; grabbing both of her arms in a bruising grip and shaking her, “Why have we been together all this time?”
Her eyes met his, but she didn’t have an answer for him.
“I don’t know.”
He slapped her *hard* across the face; then pushed her backwards down onto her bed.
“Ry-”
“Shut the Hell up.” he shouted; his eyes suddenly dangerous, “We’ll talk about this tomorrow when we’ve *both* calmed down.”
Her stomach gave a slight unexpected twinge as she watched him stalk out angrily and she couldn’t help the sudden panic that maybe she’d done the wrong thing by telling him.
Her fingers subconsciously entwined with Spike’s shirt which was still strewn across her bed, where she’d left it that morning.
..........................................................................
Standing earnestly beneath her bedroom window, Spike listened to the arguing with a frown on his face.
He practically felt her shock when the damn soldier boy grabbed her and was fuming by the time Riley slammed angrily out of the house.
Spike was all but ready to slam a fist into the side of that big lunk’s head, but something in his expression stalled him. He looked like a man with intent; like he had something planned.
He glanced up at the Slayer’s bedroom window which was now dark, then back at the retreating ex-soldier.
Might as well see what the big idiot was up to.
......................................................................
“Slayer.” he hissed, and she woke with a start.
“Spike?” she asked; her mind slightly groggy as she glanced over her clock. Half two in the morning? “What the Hell are you doing here?”
“Get up.” he replied without answering her question. “I have something to show you.”
“What?”
“Get up.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.” she snapped, her legs swinging over the side of the bed regardless. Too late she remembered she was still wearing Spike’s shirt to bed, and her face flushed a deep red with embarrassment at being caught.
She looked up slowly to see Spike had turned around. Thinking he’d averted his eyes in disgust, she huffed with annoyance, ripping the shirt off and throwing it at the back of his head as she quickly pulled on something of her own.
Spike felt the soft fabric bounce off the back of his head and it made his heart twist even further. Just seeing her, sitting there in her bed, wearing his very own shirt... God, it had damn near killed him. Knowing this was how good he could have it, if she’d just open her heart to him.
“Buffy...” he tried.
And she flinched. Flinched at the sound of him using her name.
“Slayer.” he quickly corrected himself, “You were wearing... I mean-”
“Eeww Spike,” she said, her face still crimson as she turned to face away from him, using her search for socks as a cover. “Please take that disgusting shirt away from me. Next time I’m at a loss for clothes I think I’ll just sleep naked. That thing *stank* of you.”
The last part was said so nastily Spike practically stumbled backward.
“Here.” she picked the shirt up and thrust it into his chest. “I’m ready. Now what do you want?”
Spike stared at her a moment; watching as she stalked ahead of him out of the room, then he dropped the shirt back onto her rumpled bed.
It smelt too much like her.
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A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed the first chapter. I have a lot planned for this story, as you’ll see in part three, and I can assure you, this is a *very* spuffy fic :] Please review if you want more... wall_flower xx
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