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Buffy giddily inserted her key in the door. This was it! She turned to her friends gathered behind her with a mischievous smile.

“I’d just like to say, on this momentous occasion, that--“

“B, I’m gonna rip your ribcage out and wear it for a hat if you don’t open the damn door!” Faith growled. Her box was heavy, dammit. There wasn’t time for Buffy to be cute, there was moving to be done and hot roommates to be met!

“Hey! That’s my line!” Buffy protested. When Faith just stuck her tongue at her, and Robin’s eyes glazed over in that familiar lust-addled way, Buffy decided breaking the move-in rhythm might have been a bad idea. She swept the door open and hauled one of her boxes over the threshold of her new home.

Home. She was a bit surprised at how easy it was to put that title here. From the moment she’d met her new roommate to the second she’d crossed the threshold, she’d found it easier to think of this place as her own. She’d talked to them or seen them everyday for the past week and a half leading up to her move in. She’d even gotten in a minor fight with Riley; he was getting jealous that she was spending so much of her free time with her future roommates. Buffy had tried to be reasonable, telling him she wanted to get to know the people she’d be living with for at least a year before she formally moved in and signed a lease, but Riley had just gone off about how she knew him and they could have skipped that step had she just done the easy (read: right) thing and moved in with him. Then she’d snapped, yelling at Riley about how insensitive he was being and how he was really not listening to her at all. They hadn’t talked in almost two days, Riley’s brush off this morning not helping matters. But the upside was she and the twins had become fast friends, and Buffy was looking forward to living with them. She might just need to buy Willow a huge thank you gift.

“Will? Spike? I’m here with my posse...I’m moving in!” she called down the hall. They didn’t appear to be in, but she couldn’t wait for them to meet everyone else.

She opened her bedroom door with a smile. It was so big! She got the master bedroom, as Spike and Will were used to sharing a bathroom, which connected their rooms and prevented any “potentially awkward moments” from arising. Buffy had felt they were referring to something other than walking in on her in the shower or some other compromising position, but couldn’t for the life of her figure out what it was. So she just shrugged it off and set her box down, her mind occupied with what posters she should get and how to arrange her furniture. Maybe some nice, vintage Parisian posters? Oh, and definitely a Jack Sparrow one...

“Manly men coming through with a mattress!” Xander hollered. He and Robin barreled through the door, hauling Buffy’s queen-sized mattress after them.

“Damn it’s hot out there,” Robin complained, wiping sweat off his brow. Faith swatted his ass and gave him an assessing look.

“Baby, we have got to work on your stamina,” she said with a saucy wink.

“You know, Schnookums, if you’d just let me have a go at him, you’d never have to worry about stamina again,” Lorne said with a flirtatious wink at the two. Faith let out a barking laugh while Robin sulked at them both. “Oh, look at that lip! Gonna get it!” Lorne teased. His way was blocked by an unimpressed and resolute Faith.

“You’ll have to get through me first!” she declared. She missed Robin’s disgustingly adoring look at her possessiveness, which was probably for the better because such displays often embarrassed her. Xander settled himself near Buffy, a little uncomfortable by the joking. While he loved Buffy unconditionally, some of her friends were just...too much. He’d never felt like a true part of the group unless it was just the old high school gang: him, Willow, and Buffy.

“I like it. You done good,” Xander said nudging Buffy lightly, his goofy, lopsided grin on his face. He was rewarded with one of Buffy’s beaming, room-filling smiles.

“Yeah? If you like it now, I can’t wait for you to meet Will and Spike!” She didn’t miss the slight shadow that passed over Xander’s face.

“You...you really think living with someone named Spike is a good idea, Buffy? I mean...you know? I worry.” Xander was once again on the receiving end of Buffy megawattage.

“Yeah, I know. But really, it’s not what you think. Well, maybe a little of what you think. But it totally fits him! You know, like ‘Elizabeth’ is way too formal for me. I’m Buffy, Buffy is me. I’m only Elizabeth to my parents,” she said with a look of distaste, “and you know how much I love it.” Xander loosely draped his arm over his best friend, giving her a soft one-armed hug. Buffy had struggled with her parents for years; she never seemed to do anything that pleased them. They viewed her, a successful business woman at twenty-seven, as a failure because she wasn’t a lawyer in her father’s firm, or a doctor, or some other high-paying power player. But the Summers had always been nice to him, and while he couldn’t fault Buffy for chafing under her parent’s rule, they were better that HIS parents. Xander’s reply was lost when a deep, British voice cut through the background chatter.

“Look Will, the Yanks have invaded our apartment!” Spike smirked as Buffy whipped her head at the sound of his voice. He pressed his tongue behind his teeth and threaded his fingers through his belt loops, his hands ‘casually’ framing his crotch. Oh yeah, Ms. Summers was definitely looking at his package.

“People! Really! This is Buffy’s house warming! Who went and got me prezzies?” Lorne exclaimed, eyeing his friend’s prospective roommates. Who were freaking ridiculously delectable! Damn, but Buffy had been down playing their hotness. Even Faith was staring slack-jawed at the British duo, for once completely oblivious to Robin’s presence behind her. Not that the black man felt any sort of real jealousy; Faith was his, simply and honestly put. But still. Did she have to be so obvious?

Lorne though he’d hit jackpot when Spike slowly checked him out. Not in the fake done-for-laughs way Robin did, but in the legitimate way that only someone who truly appreciates--and enjoys--the male body can pull off. Oh, this one had a dash of queer in his beautiful body with those piercing baby blues...

Lorne’s interest was doubled when the quieter of the two moved up behind the object of his current appraisal. Spike’s attention was immediately drawn to Will, who glanced briefly at Lorne before turning to his brother. The entire transition took less than a few second, but Lorne caught it all...including how Spike’s gaze was now as neutral as he could get it. Oh, now that was VERY interesting.

Buffy moved to her twins and gave them both giant bear hugs.

“Everyone, this is Will, and this is Spike. Will and Spike...this is everyone.” Buffy said, her giddiness apparent to everyone in the room. Will glanced at the bouncy blonde with a soft smile on his face, enjoying the closeness of her body. Will rolled his eyes good naturedly, but didn’t bother to move the arm that was comfortably slung across her waist.

Lorne watched with his psychologist hat on, trying to hide the huge smile that wanted to break free. Both of Buffy’s new roommate wanted her in a bad way...and though Buffy probably wouldn’t admit it under torture at the moment, she was jonesing for them too. With the sparks he could see flying through the air, Lorne was confident that Riley wouldn’t be in their lives for much longer. Except Buffy had a nasty habit of being a stubborn idiot, which could be a problem. One that he’d have to think about later, as he had two gorgeous men to flirt with.

“Oh, I have heard so much about you two! Buffy just did not do you justice. I’m Lorne, and as I will not be telling you apart anytime soon, I’m just going to call you Twinlets.” Lorne congratulated himself on pulling a smile out of the reserved one; that was a good way to make amends for unknowingly stepping on his territory. Though he was lying a little bit, he’d be able to tell them apart without much trouble, but they didn’t know that. And some of the best relationships he’d ever seen were founded on lies.

“Oh, just ignore him, he’s the biggest flirt on the planet. He’d flirt with his grandma,” Buffy said with an eye roll.

“Hey, my grandmother taught me everything I know!” Lorne exclaimed dramatically, fixing Buffy with his best mock-glare. He sent a secret wink Will’s way, flashing him a quick smile. Will decided that he actually liked Buffy’s cheeky friend, despite the fact Spike had been blatantly checking him out...and the attention had been mutual. While both of them had an undeniably greater attraction for the ladies, one in particular these days, both of them could appreciate Lorne’s charms.

Buffy quickly introduced them to her friends. Robin took Faith’s drooling in good stride, informing her new roommates that Faith was given to seizures when she saw something her brain couldn’t cope with. Faith belatedly snapped out of her lusty funk and started mock-beating Robin up, who between his gut-wrenching laughs managed to choke out the most absurd (and insincere) apology anyone had ever heard. Will and Spike had been thoroughly amused, offering Robin suggestions and encouragement while alternately informing Faith that her beau wasn’t putting forth enough effort, effectively placing them well on the couple’s good side. Buffy couldn’t explain the feeling of joy that coursed through her seeing her friends get along with Will and Spike so well. The only one who was not enthusiastically grilling the Twinlets--Buffy thought Lorne’s word was brilliant and planned to use it often--about their lives was Xander.

Xander eyed the two newcomers with consternation. There was something about them that just rubbed him the wrong way. Maybe it was their Bill Idol look, the punk rock shock of blonde hair that clashed with their tailored business suits. Spike seemed to have that raw sex appeal that most bad boys seemed to be born with, the kind that would ensnare some unsuspecting female. Will was a bit more reserved, but his smile was just as easy as Spike’s. Xander didn’t like it, not at all. And the way they seamlessly meshed with the group Xander had been at odds with for almost three years set his blood boiling. A small part of Xander realized the hatred and dislike he was feeling towards the duo was unfounded and mildly insane, but he couldn’t help it. And eventually, his terminal case of Foot-in-Mouth Disease sprang up.

“So, you guys are VPs at a publishing firm,” Xander interrupted boldly. Suddenly, all eyes were on him. “Who pulled the strings for you? Daddy? Rich uncle? Mommy dearest?” Xander ignored Buffy’s glare and Faith’s disapproving scowl.

Spike squared himself, facing his challenger. Yeah, their Da had be instrumental in getting them where they were now; but everyone from the lowliest paper boy to every single bloody CEO--in their firm and several others--admitted that Will and Spike were a tag team to be reckoned with.

“Da got un our initial positions. We did the rest,” Spike said smoothly, allowing his corporate exterior to come though. This was the veneer he used with particularly annoying or bull-headed clients, the one that shoved politeness in you face with a subtle dash of fuck-you contempt.

Xander snorted. Typical. “Yeah, figured. Most places frown on the Billy Idol wannabe look,” he sneered.

“Well, not everyone can account for style, Whelp,” Will interjected, his jaw tight. “Like for instance, Hawaiian shirts are for trips to Maui and keeping track of little kids in a crowd.”

“Well, how about we finish unpacking?” Buffy interjected, eager to break up the tête-à-tête taking place in her room. Faith and Lorne let loose sighs of relief and sprang into action, Faith grabbing Xander by the shirt and hauling him back to the moving truck. Robin and Lorne followed soon after, shaking hands with the Twinlets who promised to ocme help as soon as they changed clothes. Buffy was a little sad to see the scrumptious buisness suits go, but they weren’t very practical for moving.

“Sorry about Xander, he’s a--“

“Whelp?” Spike said with a boyish grin. Buffy rolled her eyes and smacked him lightly on the chest.

“A big brother type,” she finished with a laugh. Will and Spike exchanged glances, both doubting Xander’s interest was anything ‘brotherly.’

“Oh, right. Wouldn’t know anything about brothers,” Spike said slyly. Will slapped him upside the head.

“Like hell you don’t, you ponce!”

“Well, not about older brothers,” he said with a grin.

“Bollocks!” Will punctuated his expletive by putting his smirking twin in a headlock. She watched as Spike struggled futilely, landing punches on Will’s belly and back. The started and all-out wrestling match, right there on the carpet of her new room, the whole time arguing about who was the eldest. Eventually, the combatants parted, panting on the carpet, business suits rumpled. Spike was the first to haul himself up, extending a hand to a scowling Will.

“So...which one of you is the oldest?” Buffy asked curiously. Spike smiled slowly, draping one arms over Buffy’s small shoulders. Will followed suit, grinning like an idiot.

“Well, you see, luv,” Spike started.

“It’s like this,” Will continued.

“We asked our Ma once--”

“Great lady, our Ma.”

“--and she gave us the same answer we’ll give you.”

Will motioned Buffy to him, ready to whisper a secret in her ear. Buffy felt goose bumps rise on her skin as his warm breath tickled the shell of her ear.

“It’s the one with the bigger cock!”

Buffy blinked and shook her head in confusion. What? She couldn’t have possibly heard that right.

“Wh...what?” Spike and Will burst out laughing, Will doubled over and clutching his sides. Buffy watched them laugh at her, annoyance and confusion rolling through her.

“Oh, pet, that was priceless!” Will said, wiping away tears. Spike gave her a large hug, dropping a chaste kiss on her head.

“Our second official act as your new roommates is to make you watch the deleted scenes of Boondock Saints,” Spike declared.

“But first, we’re going to change clothes and help you unpack,” Will said as he disappeared down the hall.

Buffy stood there, rooted to the spot, her mind whirling. The door had already closed behind the chuckling pair when Buffy finally managed a small, “What the hell?”


A/N: Seriously, if you havne't watched the deleted scenes of Boondock Saints, go do it. My favorite part of the movie is in there!! :) And remember to *ALWAYS* review everything you read. Makes us writers feel all warm and fuzzy and write more...





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