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Chapter Twenty-One: Understanding

It was the event of November. Cordelia Chase’s November blow out. It was a party filled with kegs, college boys, and the regular high school crowd. Everyone who was someone was going, and Buffy was not going to miss it.

The week had been awkward, since her sexcapade with Spike, but she managed avoiding his touch when they were together.

He’d been understanding, knew she had to swallow what had happened and decide if it was right. He was afraid she’d been regretting the little they’d shared. After two days, his patience had worn thin, and he stood at her doorstep, the day of the party. He was going to offer to take her, but was surprised by her answer. His heart cracked when she told him Riley was taking her.

“Why, Buffy, Luv…you should be going there with me.” He argued, as he stood at her front door.

“Spike…a lot is happening between us, and I just need to think.”

“It doesn’t take that long to think, Buffy. I gave you pleasure, you liked it, wanted more than I offered if I remember correctly.” His tone earned him a slap from Buffy.

“How dare you…” She shook with anger. “How dare you throw what I shared with you in my face?”

“Shared? More like gave.” He was angry, and allowed it to show in his words, but the hurt that flashed in her eyes…he regretted every syllable. His cheek burned. He stepped forward to grab her, and she held out a hand, stopping him.

“Don’t. Just go.” She slammed the door in his face, tears burning her eyes.

*

Buffy studied her reflection in the full-length mirror. She wore a tight red low cut shirt, a black leather mini, and black knee high boots. With a sigh, she put a hand through her newly curled hair, and mad her way down the stairs where Riley was waiting.

“Gosh, Buffy, you look beautiful.” Riley said, as she walked to him, her black purse in hand.

“Thanks.” She forced a smile. Since Spike’s visit earlier, she was not it the mood to smile. He had pissed her off royally, and was on the bed list, again. She couldn’t help but feel a little guilty, and blamed it on the fact that she was taking her time, pushing him away. She hated being with Riley, while thinking of the bleached wonder.

“You okay?” Riley asked, as they sat in his car.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Buffy shifted uncomfortably in the passenger’s seat of the Jeep Cherokee.

“You seem like your mind is wandering a bit.”

They drove past Spike’s house, and it was dark. His car was missing. “Nope.” She could help but wonder where he was. She was sure he’d skip the party, since he was upset at her. ‘Upset at me? I’m the one that has the right to be upset. He fucking threw what happened between us in my face for no reason.’

“Buffy…if you don’t want to go, just tell me, and I’ll drive you back home.” Riley said.

“No, I want to go.” She tried to sound enthusiastic, but it was not working.

Riley sighed. “I know you’d rather be here with that boy, Spunk…”

“Spike.” Buffy corrected him.

Riley stood silent for a few. “How long have you liked him?”

“Since recently…it’s hard to explain. I’m sorry.” It felt nice not to deny it.

“Can I asked why you’re going to the party with me, and not him?” Riley asked, glancing at her, as she looked out the window.

Buffy thought about it for a second, and knew the answer immediately. “I’m scared that I’ll just end up hurt. You’re a bit of a…” She couldn’t find the words to describe Riley.

“A safety net,” he finished for her.

She nodded. “I’m so sorry, Riley.”

“I can’t blame you…Angel violated you. I’d have been looking for a safe ride, myself.” Riley didn’t allow her feelings for Spike to sting him.

“You’d be my first choice if he didn’t have my heart.” She admitted.

“I know, and when he isn’t, make sure you remember that you said that.” He gave her a crooked grin. “Friends?” He asked, as they pulled into the driveway.

“Friends.” Buffy spoke softly, nodding. She spotted Spike’s car, and the urge to search for him, struck her hard.

“I understand.” Riley said, as he turned off the car, and Buffy hopped out, running for the entrance.





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