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AN: this is a sweet chapter that I hope you enjoy. I wanted to show that Spike and Buffy realize they have hurtles but are willing to work together towards her continued peace of mind. Along with Willow and Tara of course.

And for anyone wondering, yes I will be addressing her prior sexcapades, not in detail but in flashbacks cause she’s gonna have to work through them to figure out where she’s going right?
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I also wanted to send out my lovin’s to everyone who’s said boo to me in the reviews…BuffyandSpikeforever (fan #1, and that’s scary ;) ), Patty (my partner in crime), Sluggie (my other partner in crime), Rubberband11, Rain, HotlipedJen (the talky chit on the tag ;) ), Spikedchick, Elysian, Karbear57 (when are we doing the Tennis again :D) , wtbloody666, Mandi (the woman with the site), Kati, Spikeadelic, KMS (fan from the first with the awesome feedback), Angela, Darla, Kaitlynn, Shippy (again with the sticking it to me and making me write better but never letting me forget that Spuffy comes first :D) , Sarah Aless (you naughty girl I need reprimanding ), Cynthia, KD, Caroline, Tori, Spikelvr2002, Karen, Manda, Rosiegirl, and Parisian (who was skeptical but very kind in her skepticism and has all my respect)
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45 minutes later
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Buffy sipped at her diet soda, as she sat wrapped in a blanket on the couch, the liquid sloshing a bit from her shaking hands as she held the glass.

Spike had come into the room and when Buffy didn’t look up, too ashamed to see what she knew would be the condemnation in his eyes, he took the seat farthest away from her leaving an ocean of space and misunderstanding between them.

Willow and Tara came back into the room carrying food and a pitcher of lemonade glancing at one another when they surveyed the scene.

“Why are you sitting all the way over there Spike?” Willow asked seeing the two blondes sitting so far away from each other and sensing the tension between them and hoping to dispel it.

Spike looked up at her with such pained eyes she thought he’d break into tears. It was clear he was barely able to stand the knowledge that had been shoved at him in such a short time and then to compound it albeit innocently, well she knew something had to be done. Buffy needed him and he needed Buffy…that much was clear.

“Ok….powwow time you two.” She said firmly setting her goodies down on the table smiling gratefully at Tara as she did the same and then took a seat sitting Indian style on the floor offering her silent support.

“Spike.” She looked at him and pointed to the couch beside Buffy, snapping her fingers when he didn’t move quickly enough for her.

“Buffy.” She said in the no nonsense tone of voice that made her best friend cringe whenever she used it. “We’re going to hash out the bedroom before it turns into the pink elephant in the room.”

Buffy turned crimson as Spike dropped his eyes in shame making Willow roll hers silently. “Ok…I know you both better than most people so that means you know me as well. Right?” she asked her hands on her hips looking down at them, “RIGHT?” she pressed finally getting a nod out of the pair before she knelt down taking one hand of each into her own. “You also know that means that I love you both too, and I would never ever do anything to hurt you, but you need each other. Buffy, you need Spike to lean on, to feel loved but not feel threatened right?” She asked gently smiling at her friend when her eyes slid towards Spike and she nodded with a small jerking motion of her head.

“And Spike, you love her. Enough to protect her and give her the strength she needs to get through this, you won’t judge her and you don’t, but you’re willing to be there for her every step right?” She smiled a bit broader seeing the tow headed blonde seek out Buffy’s and nod sincerely reaching out to brush a stray lock of hair behind her ear tenderly and then cup her face.

“I do love you Buffy, I’m in love with you.” He said softly his heart pounding in his chest as he said the words he’d been longing to for so long to her. “I only want to be here for you. You don’t have to be alone anymore. I…..we….”He said glancing at the other two for confirmation, “will be here for you for as long as you need. As long as you want.”

Buffy sat her eyes huge and liquid as her lips trembled worrying the fabric of the comforter in her hands. As the tears slipped silently down her cheeks she allowed Spike to pull her close and wrap his strong arms around her allowing her to seek the solace she had been craving. The two cousins closed their eyes and just gave and took from each other oblivious to anyone but themselves as they fixed their tattered hearts a bit with the closeness.

Willow moved quietly and Tara followed as they slipped from the room unnoticed and made their way up the stairs to the guest room needing a bit of alone time themselves to touch and feel and remember how lucky they were to have each other.

After a few minutes Spike opened his eyes and tilted his loves’ face up to his, “I’m sorry about before Buffy. I didn’t have any….”He looked a bit ashamed as he thought of how he had almost taken advantage of her.

Cupping his cheeks in her hands she smiled through her tear stained cheeks at him her green eyes reflecting back to him nothing but gratitude. “Spike if it had been anyone else they wouldn’t have helped me, couldn’t have known how to help me. You didn’t know, hell I didn’t know, so please don’t blame yourself. You’ve always been there for me and now you’re more than just my cousin and my friend. You’re my defender, and my rock, and my love.” She blushed a bit at the last word but didn’t waver in her gaze determined that he understand.

“Your love?” He asked shyly his eyes sparking with hope, as he took in her purposeful look and the earnestness in her own deep green gaze.

Nodding at him with a sweet shy smile she ran the pad of one thumb over his full lips and said to him in a quiet slightly fearful voice, “You are….I can’t say it yet but….in time….I want to be able to show you just how much you mean to me.” Looking at him she asked him, “Can you…..are you willing to give me time?”

Sweeter words were never spoken to the blond bad boy as he tightened his arms around his petite sweetheart. “I will wait for you till the end of time.” He said pulling her close so that she rested her head on his shoulder her own hands twining around his back. “You and me pet….we’ll get through this together and then we’ll see where we stand.”

Buffy sighed happily knowing that he knew how she felt but also secure in the knowledge that he wouldn’t push her to say things she just wasn’t ready to say, or do things she wasn’t ready to do.

Letting him pull her into his arms as he made himself comfy on the couch cradling her head on his chest their legs entwined as they lay down. Reaching out for the remote to the TV. He smiled when he heard her giggle as he put it to Passions.

“Things may be over faster than you think if you make me watch this dreck.” She teased him poking his stomach with her finger playfully.

“Love you can learn a lot from watching Passions, just cause you have no taste doesn’t mean it isn’t a bloody brilliant show.” He groused back grabbing the offending hand and kissing the tips of her fingers gently watching her as her smile spread. “Well when you put it that way, maybe there is some room for this dreck after all.”

Spike chuckled and as the show droned on it wasn’t long before the blond duo was fast asleep in each other’s arms.

TBC





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