Disclaimer: I own nothing at all, ever. All these lyrics are mine; I made them so I would appreciate it if you asked before using them. Any similarity between lyrics is purely accidental and most likely because there are only so many ways you make two words rhyme! Yada yada you know the rest I make no money and please don’t sue me
Buffy stood watching Spike talk to Dawn, she smiled slightly as she watched them laughing and having fun. She realised she never really took time to actually watch her friends and how they interacted. Her eyes widened as she realised she had called Spike her friend; she shook of the uneasy feeling and reminded herself he wasn’t anything to her. But even as she thought this she couldn’t keep her eyes of him and the way he moved, she was so involved that she didn’t notice Willow watching her quietly from the kitchen door.
***
Willow stood watching Buffy eye up Spike and smiled as she felt the emotion roll of her. Willow knew that Spike was aware of the slayers watchful eye from the way his eyes kept flicking over at her slightly. She shook her head and walked back into the kitchen to where Tara was sitting eating cereal. She glanced at the bowl and smiled,
“You do know its not morning don’t you?” she asked sweetly smiling at her girlfriend
Tara looked guilty “I was hungry” she said defensively
Willow laughed quietly and thought for a moment “You know Buffy and Spike?” she said cautiously
Tara looked at her “you’d have to be blind not to” she said and smiled
Willow sat down “You think its time someone, you know pushed them?” she said looking at Tara quizzically
Tara eyed her “what did you have in mind?” she asked warily
“You remember that amulet, with the singing demon and all that?” Willow asked “Well I came up with a spell that will replicate the effects of like making them say what they feel without the whole bad demon thingy going on” she finished in a rush before Tara could interrupt
Tara looked at her “um” she said “I’m not sure if interfering is the best way to do this” she said
Willow’s face fell “I know that I shouldn’t want to use spells all the time and all that but” she paused “Buffy’s my best friend and I want her to be happy and she won’t be unless she admits how she feels. You see her, she sits all depressed all the time the only time she lights up is when Spike is around but she won’t admit it” Willow ended forcefully banging her hand on the table top
Tara leant back slightly “Okay honey no need to take it out on the table” Tara considered for a moment “Okay we’ll try it but anything goes wrong we reverse it immediately”
Willow nodded and grabbed Tara’s hand “come on” she said tugging impatiently
Tara looked longingly at her ‘breakfast’ and then sighed and followed Willow.
Willow and Tara sat opposite each other with one of Buffy’s stakes covered in Spikes blood between them, they both breathed deeply and Willow began to chant,
“I call the powers above, take this thing, make their owners, open their hearts and sing, their desires reveal, make them deal, with what they feel, and let them heal”
Tara began to join in adding her power to Willows and together they chanted until they felt the spell take hold and enter the stake. Shaking slightly Willow picked up the stake,
“Break this and the spell reverses” she said and stood up to hide it someplace safe
***
Downstairs Buffy was looking for her coat when Spike came up beside her,
“Hey pet” he said lighting up a cigarette “Where you runnin’ off to then?”
“Nowhere, I’m patrolling” and she walked past him without a back wards glance
Spike glared at her back and stalked out the back door and headed back to his crypt, neither noticed the subtle red light infuse the both of them. As Spike walked back to his crypt angrily cursing the slayer he only noticed something was wrong when he began to hum, annoyed at himself but unable to stop he shrugged and carried on walking and started singing,
Today I made I little effort
To make you see
I’m not all demon
There’s other things to me
But you just brush me off
Act like I’m nothing to you
Well fine, ‘cause now
I know its true
You’re heartless and cold
Call me evil, but its you
Who acts all soulless
With everything you do
Kick me down
And keep me there
That’s where you think I belong
Well that ain’t fair
‘Cause I never asked to feel like this
And your just takin’ the piss
Tried to show you
The better side to me
Let you take my heart
I gave you my key
But you throw it back
Every single day
And you just don’t care
‘Cause you’re cruel that way
Yeah you’re heartless and cold
Call me evil, but its you
Who acts all soulless
With everything you do
Kick me down
And keep me there
That’s where you think I belong
Well that ain’t fair
‘Cause I never asked to feel like this
And your just takin’ the piss
Drawing me in with a kiss
You cold heartless bitch
Spike looked curiously at the door to his crypt trying to remember how he got there. He opened the door and walked in taking off his leather jacket and slinging it over a chair. He sat down and closed his eyes yawning, the he sat bolt upright, eyes open wide,
“Oh bugger” he exclaimed remember his song “bloody kid, when’s she gonna learn not to touch shiny stuff” he stood up angrily grabbed his jacket and left his crypt heading back to the Magic Box and Dawn.
***
Buffy saw Spike walk over to her as she looked around for her coat and she began to breathe heavier. She was vaguely aware that he said something and unable to process anything but Spikes closeness and somewhat annoyed that he had that effect on her she brushed him off with a comment and walked out without even looking at him.
Buffy belatedly realised she had found herself outside Spike crypt, sighing she sat down on a gravestone and stared at his door. She knew somehow that he wasn’t in there and could only surmise he had stayed at the Magic Box, or was out killing some demon. Humming, her mind began to play a tune in her head and it wasn’t long before Buffy had the compulsion to start singing, quietly she began to sing a song she was sure she’d never heard before,
Yet again I find myself here
Beside your place of rest
And even though you’re nowhere near
My heart beats inside my chest
And I’m drawn to you
Like a moth to a flame
And I try to pretend it’s not true
But I feel just the same
‘Cause I can’t be feelin’ this
But even so it’s bliss
To just let go and feel
But I know it isn’t real
I’m torn in two its true
Between what I want with you
And what I gotta do
I don’t want to admit to myself
I could love you
So I cover it up
And pretend it’s not true
But I know just the same
These feelin’s I hide
But I can’t open up
‘Cause your not on my side
‘Cause I can’t be feelin’ this
But even so it’s bliss
To just let go and feel
But I know it isn’t real
I’m torn in two its true
Between what I want with you
And what I gotta do
So I’ll hide it away and pretend
It’s not there
Treat you like dirt to the bitter end
Act like we’ve nothin’ to share
‘Cause that’s how I’m livin’
With this crazy singin’
That’s makin’ me spill out my heart
And makin’ me feel we can’t be apart
Buffy stopped abruptly and looked around at the quiet graveyard and at Spike’s front door-two inches from her nose,
“Well that was weird” she said to herself “almost like…” and she stepped back “Oh bad singing demon bad” and she turned and ran back to the Magic Box.
Arriving to find only Willow and Tara still there she barrelled through the door locking it behind her and, much to Willow and Tara’s horror, began tearing the shop apart. Eventually she found what she was looking for and held the small amulet up in front of her eyes, she took it over to Willow,
“Does this look, um activated to you?” she asked
“Uh, no” Willow said barely able to contain her glee that her spell had worked “should there be a reason for it to be?”
Buffy looked at willow edgily “well” she said “well um, there was a um” she hesitated “singing incident whilst I was out um” she waved her hand around “patrolling”
Willow looked at her “what kind of singing incident?” she asked “the kind where you sing along, or the kind where you make your own words up?”
“the DIY kind” Buffy said and sat down “please fix it I can’t sing about everything that’s in my heart especially with Sp..” she broke off “um people around, you know not nice to sing to a guy on your first or, or um” she finished lamely
Willow nodded “of course. If you go back to your house or something I can take Dawn and you can just pass the time by yourself until we figure out how to undo this”
Buffy nodded “Thanks I’ll send her over later. Be quick please”
Willow and Tara nodded and waited until Buffy was out of the shop and round the corner before turning to each other,
“It worked” Tara said
“Well of course” Willow replied “Just need to wait and see about Spike now” and they settled in to wait for Dawn to come over and for Spike to start singing.
***
Buffy sat curled up in her tracksuit bottoms and black vest she had found at the bottom of her wardrobe. She was trying to watch TV but had admitted to herself that she was afraid that some vocals would come her way and force her to talk about how she felt. She had already sent Dawn off to Willows and was waiting for a phone call to tell her that no more lyrics would come her way. So far all she managed to do was scare herself silly at every small noise. She had gradually become more and more annoyed with herself at this she kept repeating to herself,
“Come on you spend every night trawling graveyards for dead things walking, a little bump shouldn’t scare you” However her heart had yet to get the message and still jumped at every little noise.
She first became aware that Spike had entered her house when he fell over a jumper Dawn had dumped on the stairs and swore as he tripped and fell headlong down the stairs. Managing a rather elegant roll considering, he rolled and stood up to find Buffy wielding a baseball bat, he held his hands up and stepped back before realising the stupidity of the situation,
“You’re the Slayer” he said slowly “and your creepin’ round you own house wieldin’ a baseball bat” he snorted and walked past her “like that’s gonna stop anythin’ that might come your way”
“Yeah well” she said dropping the bat and tucking her hair behind her ear “it seemed like the thing to do. Anyway what are you doing here and upstairs?”
To Spikes credit he managed to look a little ashamed as he settled into her settee “Well there was a little thing earlier and I was just takin’ a peek in nibblet’s room to see if she had that amulet stashed away somewhere”
Buffy stood looking at him arms crossed “Okay first, my house that means you knock before coming in, second you don’t go through other peoples rooms looking for stuff and if you are at least have the decency not to fall down the stairs escaping. Third” she reached over to the table and grabbed the amulet “this amulet?”
Spike stood up “Yeah. How comes you got it?” he asked making a grab for it
Buffy whipped it away and put it in a pocket she looked faintly embarrassed “had a little lyrical accident out on patrol”
Spike sat down with a sigh “Oh thank god, I though I was the only one”
Buffy looked at him, “You mean you sung to?”
Spike looked down at his feet remembering his song “yeah, what of it”
“Uh nothing” Buffy said ending that conversation before Spike asked her what she had sung about “ did you notice anyone else singing?” she asked
Spike shook his head “no seems like it’s just us”
Buffy sighed and sat next to him “then its not demon guy, it’s a spell” she looked at him “and that means Willow”
Spike looked at her with a raised eyebrow “you’re blamin’ Red for this?” he snorted “never thought I’d see the day”
Buffy stood up “I’m going to talk to her, you coming?”
Spike light up a cigarette “nope can’t get out, why d’you think I was comin’ downstairs”
Buffy looked at him “why should I believe you?” and she grabbed her coat and walked to the front door.
Spike sat on her settee smoking silently and when she came back in defeat and sat down next to him he smirked at her “see? I think Red’s been interfering again” he looked at her “think about it she an’ Tara have this idea that you an’ I have a thing, she sent me over here to find that amulet in nibblet’s room”
Buffy sat up sharply “she told me to send Dawn over to hers and wait here for her to fix the problem”
“Well pet, looks like were stuck ‘ere with each other and our hearts on our sleeve till she feels were all sorted out”
Buffy stood up “I’m going to bed, if you feel like singing do it somewhere I can’t hear. I don’t want to know what you feel” and she walked up stairs
Spike sat on the settee angrily puffing on his cigarette at Buffy’s casual dismissal of him and his feelings. “Fine” he thought “I’ll be a good little boy and stay here”
Buffy sat up in her room hugging her knees to her chest; she couldn’t believe Willows audacity to interfere in such a personal and private matter. She also couldn’t cope with how she felt about this opportunity to tell Spike how she felt and then later be able to blame it on a spell if it went wrong. Still reeling from the earlier songs revelation that yes she did actually like Spike she put the second though somewhere dark and hid from it. Buffy was suddenly aware that she was moving towards her door and downstairs, belatedly she realised that her ‘you here, me somewhere else’ idea wasn’t going to work- the spell was forcing into a position where she had to hear Spike and probably reply.
Spike became aware of Buffy’s presence almost as soon as she came down the stairs and sat still, not paying attention to the TV; his attention was completely on Buffy. He heard her stop in the doorway and begin to hum a tune under her breath faintly he heard lyrics to a song.
‘Cause I can’t be feelin’ this
But even so it’s bliss
To just let go and feel
But I know it isn’t real
I’m torn in two its true
Between what I want with you
And what I gotta do
He smiled slightly and realised that he had stood up and was facing her. He knew that she to hadn’t come down here of her own free will and he made a mental note to beat some sense into Willow the next time he saw her, Walking over to her he began to sing softly , clenching his fist he tried to stop but couldn’t. Giving in he let himself sing to Buffy completely unable to control the words coming out of his mouth,
I was once a man
But now I’m just this
Funny thing is
There’s nothing that I miss
If I had lived my life out
The way I was supposed to
I would be dead and gone
And never have met you
But I don’t wanna be here anyway
Don’t wanna feel this everyday
And I wish it wasn’t true
But I just can’t help lovin’ you
Each and every day
I watch you walk away
And I wish with all my heart
That I wouldn’t break apart
So damn me, curse me, kill me
I don’t want this love to be
I can’t help the way
That I feel
It’s not my problem
You don’t think it’s real
You got your issues
I got mine
Walk away from me
Well that’s just fine
‘Cause I don’t wanna be here anyway
Don’t wanna feel this everyday
And I wish it wasn’t true
But I just can’t help lovin’ you
Each and every day
I watch you walk away
And I wish with all my heart
That I wouldn’t break apart
So damn me, curse me, kill me
I don’t want this love to be
So put your stake through my chest
And let me get my rest
He finished standing close to Buffy towering over her and she had backed away from him scared at the anger behind his words, she turned and fled back to her room almost in tears she hated Willow at that moment for what she had done.
Spike stared at the spot where Buffy had been standing and hated himself for making her feel so unwanted. He desperately wanted to go and comfort her but knew his efforts would only result in a pointy object in his chest. He walked over to the settee and sat down before standing up again and walking over to the stairs and, making a decision walked up to her room. He hesitated before opening without knocking knowing that knocking would just let her tell him to go away. He walked in and sat down on a chair near the bed.
“Um pet?” he said quietly “I didn’t mean that you know, wasn’t in control and what not”
Buffy sat up anger behind her eyes “you meant every word. That’s how this spell works you tell what’s in your heart and its clear what you feel” she looked at him contemptuously “You hate yourself because you’re under the delusion you love me”
Spike looked up “it’s not a delusion pet” he said “it’s true”
Buffy stood up and walked over to the window,
You’re not capable of love
You’re soulless and mean
So don’t you dare talk to me
About somethin’ so clean
You don’t know what love is
You can’t understand
It’s the piece that you’re missin’
Right under my hand
Buffy reached out from where she had walked over to Spike and lay her hand on his chest above where his heart should be beating, looking into his eyes she continued,
You heart is dead and cold
How many times
D’you have to be told
This is wrong
And if you left tomorrow
I don’t think that I’d care
‘Cause you’re nothing to me
And you’ve nothing to share
I know you think I’m cruel
And what I say isn’t fair
But when you gonna realise
We’ll never be a pair
I tried to walk away
Tried to let you down slow
But you don’t take a hint
And you won’t let me go
So now I’m being harsh
You say you don’t wanna feel
Well it’s easy, I hate you so leave me alone
Go away; lick your wounds maybe you’ll heal
I started to care
Started to give a damn
But you sweet little number
Showed me your sham
So if you left tomorrow
I don’t think that I’d care
‘Cause you’re nothing to me
And you’ve nothing to share
I know you think I’m cruel
And what I say isn’t fair
But when you gonna realise
We’ll never be a pair
So I’ll sing just like you sung
About what I feel
Cause your words they stung
And I really can’t deal
With you and what you think is real
Buffy looked at him and Spike began to nod,
“Fine if that’s how you feel then I’ll just go” and he got up and walked out of her room
Buffy collapsed on her bed and cried, she could’ve had him with her, but her and her stupid thinking had driven him away again. She lay on her bed clutching her quilt to her and shaking gently trying to stop herself crying over Spike, slowly she fell asleep and didn’t notice when Spike crept back into her room and sat down to watch over her.
Spike had stood outside her door silently and listened to her cry. He liked to think that it was because he had walked out but he knew it was more likely to be that he had told her he hated himself for loving her. However regardless of the reason he couldn’t stand to hear her cry, and when her breathing became regular he slipped back in to watch over and keep her safe. Snorting to himself he realised what a ponce he was becoming as he settled in to watch her for the night and keep her safe.
Buffy woke up to find Spike fast asleep in the chair opposite her bed smiling at the thought he had stayed and watched over her, she noticed that the sun was rising and her curtains were open. Creeping out of bed to shut them she took a spare blanket and draped it over him before slipping back into bed and drifting off again. The next time she woke up Spike had gone leaving a neatly folded blanket in his place, she hugged her knees to her chest and knew that this would be another of those things they wouldn’t talk about and got up and walked downstairs.
Spike heard Buffy came down the stairs and arranged himself in what he hoped was a ‘comfortable, I did not just spend the night in your room watching you and have just found out you knew’ pose. Buffy walked in and waved at him sleepily
“Hey” and she sat at the table and poured some cereal that he had left out
“You plannin’ on gettin’ dressed luv?” he asked
Buffy shrugged “what’s the point?” she asked “not like I’m going anywhere”
Spike held his hands up “hey I’m not complaining” he said smirking at her
Blushing slightly she tugged the top down to try and cover her bare midriff, failing miserably she gave up and just carried her cereal into the living room and settled into the settee. Spike followed amused at her reaction and sat on the other chair still unsure how she felt about being around him-just because she didn’t want him to be all dusty didn’t mean she would be happy with him being around.
“Spike?” Buffy’s voice broke through his thoughts
“Yeah, pet” he turned to her
“I’m sorry for calling you mean and saying I wouldn’t care if you left” she said quietly not meeting his eyes “I didn’t mean that, I did care when you left. I just” she stopped “I don’t know how to deal with this” she looked at him “I can’t love you,” she whispered “I’m not even supposed to like you” she sat back in her chair and leant her head back,
How can I feel like this?
Everything tells me I can’t
But it feels so good
Even though I know I can’t
It hurt when you left
Even though it shouldn’t
And it felt so good to have you back
But I know it shouldn’t
I dream about you
I think about you
I want you
I need you
Spike leant over to her and joined in,
It feels so good
To have you close
And I would
Do anything for that
To sit and watch you
Oh god I know its true
I’m completely in love
Oh heavens above
You’d steal my heart
But I’ll give it willin’ly
I can’t bear to be apart
Just wish you could see
Buffy looked at him and smiled,
“I do see, Spike” she said “But I don’t know if I can deal with this right now” she said standing up “You’re a Vampire nothing will ever change that. But I know your different and that’s a start” she looked at him “just give me time please?” she asked desperately as he nodded slowly she walked up stairs and locked herself in her bedroom.
Spike sat back in the chair, he had been so close to getting through to her he knew he had a long way to go before she would accept him as good but if he could just get her to realise he wasn’t bad, that would be a start.
***
Buffy sat up in her bedroom, looking out of the window. She had got hot earlier and tried to open a window but whatever spells Willow had cast prevented her from doing that. In desperation she had changed her tracksuit bottoms and long sleeved top for shorts and her training top. She briefly considered the likely impact her lack of clothing would have on Spike, and found that she actually liked the idea of playing with him a little. That and the fact she was absolutely boiling and one step away from taking all her clothes of regardless of how Spike may or may not react. A small grin tugged at the edge of her mouth as she thought of Spikes face seeing her naked, she briefly considered it just for a laugh but decided that Spike taking her clothes off would be much more entertaining. Buffy sat bolt upright slightly disturbed by that last thought, since when had Spike undressing her ever become something she talked about? She entertained the notion for a few minutes before standing up and opening her door to find Spike sitting on the floor opposite her door, she looked at him,
“What are you doing there?” she asked staring at him “I thought you were supposed to stay downstairs”
“Yeah well” he looked a little embarrassed “wanted to be close enough that I could help if you needed it” he stood up and looked at her his brow wrinkling “where are your clothes pet?” he asked eyeing her up and down
She blushed under his gaze and gestured towards the window “Spell won’t let me open a window” she said, “I was hot”
Spike raised his eyebrow and the tip of his tongue slipped out of his mouth to lick his lips slightly “you got that right, luv” he said appraisingly
She glared at him but it lacked the usual ferocity, and stepped over him making sure to brush close to him and walked downstairs.
Spike sat stock still as she stepped over him she was just centimetres from his face and it took all his will power not to grab her and pull her to him. When she started down the stairs he stood up and followed her, breathing deeply although he knew he needn’t. Pausing at the bottom of the stairs he realised she had begun to sing, Spike sat on the bottom step and listen to her voice drift around the house,
Why am I so confused?
It should be easy really
To decide how I feel
God I can see it clearly
But still I deny
God only knows why
And I think its cause,
I’m drowning in you
Yes I admit that it’s true
If only to me
But soon you will see
I can’t hide much longer
And I’m not sure I want ta
I’ve been running from you
But now I know what to do
You the only one who makes me feel
And I can’t pretend that this isn’t real
Anymore cause
I’m drowning in you
Yes I admit that it’s true
If only to me
But soon you will see
I’m in love with you dear
That much is clear
And I hope you forgive
And don’t make me live
Alone and all on my own
Which I richly deserve
For having the nerve
For thinkin’ you’d lie and makin’ you cry
Yes,
I’m drowning in you
Yes I admit that it’s true
Not only to me
And now you will see
Buffy stopped in front of Spike who had stood up when she had come out of the kitchen, she looked at him and for the first time ever he saw fear in her eye and was overcome with a desire to wipe it away and make her feel safe,
“I’m sorry” a small whisper dragged him back the present
“What for, pet?” he asked stepping closer “you didn’t do anythin’”
“I treated you like shit” she said “and I enjoyed it” she looked up “not anymore though, now I just want…”she stopped “I don’t know what I want”
Spike grinned unable to pass up the opportunity “why don’t I give you some suggestions, luv” he asked suggestively
Buffy looked at him and laughed lightly “Ahh there’s the Spikey I missed” she said softly and looked up at him “Mr full of himself Spike” she stroked a finger down his shirt “missed you. Although I did like ‘kind sat in my room and kept me safe’ Spike to” she looked up at his uncomfortable blush at the bedroom incident being mentioned “D’you reckon their interchangeable?” She stepped back and looked at him “we need to talk” she said “properly, without um distractions” she waved her hand at the settee “so you should sit there and I’ll sit elsewhere”
Spike looked at her “an’ you should put some clothes on”
Buffy pouted “can’t be bothered” and she spied his leather coat on the chair “I’ll use this instead” and she wrapped it around herself and settled into and armchair as Spike took the couch.
Spike looked at Buffy wrapped up in his leather coat and smiled, she looked so damn cute in a coat about four sizes to big for her, not that he’d ever tell her; he didn’t want a black eye.
“So” he said taking out a cigarette and lighting it
Buffy wrinkled her nose “first, stop smoking second, talk”
Spike sighed and stubbed the cigarette out on his palm wincing at the burning and at the itch as it healed over “talk” he said “about what? How we’re goin’ to make Red pay for this?” he eyed her hopefully
Buffy rolled her eyes “No, not that I don’t agree it’s a good idea, its not exactly a priority. We need to talk about” she paused “you know us with the singing and the touchy feely crap”
Spike nodded “not that I mind getting’ it all out in the open, musta bin a better way to do it”
Buffy looked at him with a raised eyebrow “I doubt that, I’m stubborn when it comes to admittance and acceptance, and well you’re not exactly open either”
Spike spluttered in a very undignified way “bollocks, I told you ‘xactly how I felt from the get go. No denial from me” he spread his hands wide
Buffy looked away “well fine okay I admit I’m all for the denial. But can you blame me? I mean hello evil undead” she pointed at him “no soul, remember”
Spike smiled “Yeah brilliant isn’t it no soul yet I’m better to you than either of those two losers you found on a heap somewhere” he looked at her she looked back smiling
“I know” she said standing up “I know”
Yes its true
Everything about you
That I said
Yes your dead
And you soulless
But that doesn’t mean
That you haven’t seen
There’s more to this life
There’s nothing to make you
Fight by my side
And there’s nothing to hold you
You could just go an’ hide
But you don’t
And you won’t
Leave me alone
For reasons unknown
You’ve seen there’s more to this life
And now that I know
That you’ll always be there
To hold me tight
And show that you care
I’m unafraid of your love
And to use a cliché
We fit like a glove
Now that I’ve seen there’s more to this life
Than what I was taught
By a man who knows naught
About your heart
And what sets you apart
Buffy stopped in front of him and reached up to take his face in her hands,
“Enough talk, I’ve wanted this for so long and my own stupidity has denied it to long” and she reached up and gently kissed him on the lips. It was a soft kiss barely touching his lips but for Buffy and Spike it meant so much more. She looked him in the eyes and said deliberately with no hint of reservation “I love you, Spike, have for a while now and now I know I’m never going to stop” and she kissed his shocked face again this time with hunger and longing.
When they broke apart Spike looked at her lovingly and in wonder “I love you to pet, always have ever since our first fight” he traced “so much fire”
Passion, flame, burning
But deep within’ a fire
So small and fragile
You’re such a liar
In your pretty, perfect body
Pretendin’ to be
Helpless and needy
But oh how I see
How you led me on
Drew me in
You’re like the eighth sin
And I’m drowning in you
But this much is true
I’m happier now than I ever was before
He looked at her smiling and traced his finger down her cheek gently coming to rest it on the corner of her mouth, and he started singing again
You’re mine, I’m yours
Yeah you got me on all fours
I said I would do anything for you
And now you know its true
I love the way that you dance
I love the way that you look
I love the way that you shout and scream
And I love the way that I shook
When you told me how you felt
Babe you’re like a dream
You’re all I’ll ever want
You’re all I’ll ever need
I will follow you
Wherever that you lead
I’ll go to hell and stay
If I ever hurt you in any way
God knows I’d deserve to pay
So baby what do you say?
I was wrong you see
You don’t belong in the dark with me
You should be free
So step into the light
And show I wasn’t right
‘Cause your to pretty a sight
To be hidden in the night
So baby what do you say?
Go out into the day
Buffy looked up at him and smiled “only if you’re coming with me” then she pulled a face “not literally though ‘cause there could be burny issues”
Spike laughed and kissed her lips gently “I’ve got your back, luv. Always” he murmured into her hair and Buffy felt the shiver run down her spine. She wrapped her arms around Spikes neck and kissed him before letting go and stepping away. Spike looked at her confused and she smiled slightly “I’m going upstairs now” she stated and walked towards the stair “you know where my bedroom is don’t you” she called over her shoulder and slipped Spike’s jacket off her shoulders dropping it onto the landing. Spike grinned and followed her, pausing only to pick his jacket up and drape it over the banister nice and tidy, he walked to her door. Hesitating he decide to knock just in case he had misread her
“Oh come in you silly vampire” a slightly annoyed voice sounded and Spike grinned opening the door. Buffy was sitting on her bed dressed in the shorts and sports top from before, she stood up and wrapped her arms around Spike blushing slightly,
“Figured the bed…you know better than a settee” she gestured towards the bed and Spike looked down at her
“As long as you’re there, pet I don’t care which room were in”
Buffy smiled and kissed him moaning softly as Spike tongue slipped inside her mouth she moulded her self to him and pulled his head towards her desperately trying to get more of him in her mouth. She broke away for breath and started to pull the buttons on Spike shirt apart, after the first two she gave up trying to undo them and just pulled the two flaps apart. Buffy was vaguely aware of buttons pinging off across her bedroom, she didn’t pay any attention; her eyes were focussed on his chest. She ran her hands down the smooth pale skin pausing over where his heartbeat should be before moving on,
“Like what you see, pet?” he asked and she could feel his voice rumbling around his chest she looked at him
“I love the way that you breathe, even though you don’t have to” she said before claiming his lips as her own.
Spike could feel every inch of her body meshed against his; he could feel her heat through his shirt, although thanks to the impatient Slayer that clothing barrier was no longer an issue. Spike ran his hands over her bare hips and stomach before fingering the hem of her sports top, still kissing her he began to lift it up, slowly so she could stop him at anytime. However Buffy raised her arms above her head and wriggled out of it Spike threw it away and took in the sight of her naked form, he heard a laugh and looked up at her,
“Like what you see, pet” she mimicked him and Spike nodded
“You’re so beautiful,” he said running a finger over her breast and flicking a nipple lightly with his nail
Buffy blushed at his comment and moaned at his actions with his finger “your pretty fine your self” she said breathlessly
Spike decided he quite liked her reaction and tweaked the other nipple between his fingers she moaned and pressed herself against him harder. As he was doing this his other hand ran back down her stomach and found the waistband of her shorts, he dipped his fingers inside her shorts and grinned,
“No knickers, luv?” he whispered in her ear “nice”
She brought her head back up “I’m wearing pyjamas, you don’t wear underwear with pyjamas”
Spike smirked “So what’s my excuse?” he asked he quietly
Buffy looked at him and slid her hands down the his jeans, sliding her fingers in she discovered that he to was underwear-less, she gaped “Do you always go like this”
Spike shrugged “Only when I come to see you” he looked at her suggestively “more room you see”
Buffy blushed “I-I do that to you”
Spike pinched her nipple again causing her to moan and tilt her head back “always, pet, always”
Buffy looked at him “I-I just…”she looked away “I never thought that I would do that to a guy”
Spike brought her face back to his cursing whichever idiot had made her feel like that “Ahh, luv. ‘ Can’t believe that anyone wouldn’ react to you that way”
Buffy flushed and looked at him “it’s not fair you know” she pouted running her hands over his shoulders “Here I am, topless and there you are still wearing your shirt.” She grinned as she slowly slipped it off his shoulders “Although its not really much use for covering you up, now it only has two buttons” and she threw it across her bedroom and pulled Spike closer to her; losing herself in his lips.
Spike couldn’t believe what was happening, when he realised he was stuck in this house with Buffy and the ‘heart on your sleeve’ singing he had almost wept. He had dreaded the moment when everything he felt would be laid bare before her and vice versa. He had, at that point, been quite willing to kill Willow for what she had done; now he wanted to praise her like a goddess for what she had inadvertently given him. He pulled Buffy closer to him breathing in her scent and burying his nose in her hair and pulling her over to the bed with him,
“God, you feel so good, smell so good” he looked into her eyes “Never thought I’d ‘ave you here-so close to me”
Buffy looked back at him “Me either, figured I’d never let my self get so close”
Spike rested his head on her shoulder and sighed in contentment,
Well, I have to say
I’m glad it turned out that a way
‘Cause if you’d found a love before
Then I couldn’t be here anymore
I would have faded away
Without you everyday
I’m just so glad it turned out okay
This little spell to make us say
What’s in our heart
Buffy brought his head back up to hers and looked into his eyes and began to sing softly,
I’ve been so scared
Of love before
But now you’re here
It can’t hurt me anymore
I know you’re here to stay
And that you’ll never go away
And be that as it may
Hear me as I say
We’ll never be apart
Spike voice joined in softly with Buffy’s as they held each other close and sang in unison,
I’m not gonna hide
Anymore
I want you by my side
For evermore
Only you complete me
And only you can see
All that I can be
You’re the only place I’m free
Sometime in amongst the singing Spike had managed to divest Buffy of her shorts and was taking in the sight of her naked, standing before him,
“You know” he said “much as I enjoyed this little openness thing goin’ on, its getting old” he ran his hand across her stomach and down her thigh suggestively “and in the way”
She nodded “Singing old, got it” she was breathing heavily somewhat amazed that he could do this to her just by touching her stomach “You know, again with the not fair” and she gestured to his pants.
Spike grinned and his tongue flicked out to point “You want them off, pet?” he asked innocently
Buffy nodded unable to speak as his fingers dipped in and out of her
He jerked his hips forward “I ain’t stoppin’ you”
Buffy looked at him and reached out shakily to undo his jeans and pull them off, Spike stepped out of them and they were flung to a corner of her room somewhere, Buffy was looking down at Spike and she reached out a tentative hand before looking up again
“Can-can I…” she asked quietly
Spike looked at her in shock and continued exploring her with his fingers “You never ‘ave to ask, luv never. I dunno what games those stupid wankers played with you before, but this” and he stopped momentarily to point at first him then her “is equal, you wanna do it you do it, pet. Unless it involves me at the end of a sharp stick I ain’t gonna object”
“So” Buffy said eyeing his finger, wet with her “I can do this if I want?” and she took it into her mouth and sucked it clean never breaking eye contact
Spike stared at her amazement and felt himself grow harder “God, yeah” he said hoarsely “anytime you want, luv”
“Oh good” she said “always wanted to that but, you know” she gestured “they had problems with it”
Spike put his fingers back inside her causing her to gasp and a wicked glint appeared in her eye as she grabbed him-gently- and began to move her fingers up and down slowly. Pausing to flick the tip and draw little circles with the tip of her finger on the underside. Spike grunted at the sensations her movement had caused, he could tell by the way she was gentle and tentative that she had never done this before and grinned at the thought of all he could teach her.
Suddenly realising they were still standing Buffy pulled him back onto her bed and melted against his cool weight as it pressed above her.
“You feel so good above me, you know” she said breathing heavily as his fingers continued there explorations “I always felt suffocated before, but now it feels so right” Suddenly she flipped them over removing her hand from him and placing them on his chest. She hovered above him and gently pushed down causing him to groan as he was slowly taken into her heat. “Doesn’t mean I don’t like to be in control though” she whispered lightly in his ear and sat down taking him all in, in one go. She gasped at the intrusion and stayed still while she got used to him before moving slowly and cautiously.
Spike pulled her over again so he was lying on top, he growled possessively in her ear and took over the movements, each thrust causing Buffy to gasp in pleasure and lift her hips to meet him. She could feel herself getting closer and began to move with more urgency, Spike responded to her need by matching her pace and Buffy felt him tense up seconds before she did. On instinct she reached out and bit into his neck- not hard enough to draw blood but still enough to send Spike over the edge and as he did she to was pushed.
Spike collapsed on her gently supporting enough of his so as not to crush her, he stroked her hair gently,
“You’re amazin’, pet you know?” he said in wonderment “Never thought I get bit by you”
She blushed slightly “Wasn’t expecting it myself, it just felt like the right thing to do”
Spike laughed softly and rolled off her, still keeping her in his arms “It was, pet it was” and with that they fell asleep wrapped in each other.
***
Buffy woke up to find Spike looking into her eyes; she blinked and stared back smiling slightly,
“Hey, pet” Spike said “You know your phones been ringin’ for hours”
Buffy suddenly leapt out of bed and began rummaging for clothes, which had ended all over her room the previous night “oh my God” she said “I am so stupid, what was I thinking?”
Spike looked down his heart breaking, so she was going to leave again after all “Fine, luv” he said quietly standing up and pulling on his pants “I’ll just be going then” and he looked around for his shirt.
Buffy meanwhile was off in her own world completely unaware of the vampire behind her who was quietly looking for his shirt and trying not to feel the pain in his heart. She turned around and found Spike looking at her,
“If your goin’ to regret bein’ with me could you at least let me ‘ave my shirt so I can go home”
Buffy drew Spikes shirt around her “Have you been listening to anything I’ve been saying?” realising Spike thought she was rejecting him again she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him “The phone, Spike. I should have thought of the phone-to phone Willow and yell at her. I don’t regret what we did here, I never will” and she reached up and kissed her bite mark from the previous night on his neck “I love you, ok.” She took his hand “Now come on you silly vampire you can make some breakfast whilst I phone and yell at Willow”
Spike looked vaguely embarrassed that he had assumed Buffy would leave and followed her downstairs mutely, never letting go of her hand. When they reached the bottom of the stairs Spike suddenly grabbed her and pushed her up against the wall kissing her hungrily, Buffy responded in type enjoying the roughness. Suddenly Spike and Buffy became aware of eyes watching them and they turned to find the Scoobies standing in the doorway mouths open. They turned and faced them Buffy’s face flushed slightly from Spikes attentions and slightly from being caught, she held on tight to Spikes hand and smiled brightly at them before zeroing in on Willow,
“Got a bone to pick with you, Red” Spike spoke up “You see I don’t like singin’ that much especially when it comes to feelin’s ok?”
Willow looked a little embarrassed “I was trying to help” she said in a small voice
Buffy turned to Spike and pulled his face down to hers, “Oh you helped,” she said before kissing him, Spike surprised at her public display took a little while to respond, before stopping completely when a shoe hit him in the back of the head. He turned around in vamp face to be confronted with Xander holding his other shoe in his hand. Grunting he slipped back into his human face “oh” he said “ ‘s just you” and he went back to Buffy; another shoe hit him in the head and he turned around again still in human face. “Look mate, cut it out” he said advancing on Xander “I don’t ‘ppreciate bein’ whacked in the head with your shoes”
Xander looked at him trying not to cower “Yeah, well I don’t appreciate you attaching yourself to Buffy’s face”
Buffy stepped up behind Spike wrapping her arms around him “Um, hello do I get say? ‘Cause I gotta say I kinda like Spikes attachyness”
Xander looked at her “You’re happy?” he said clearly uncomfortable with the situation
Buffy nodded “Deliriously so”
Xander nodded “Fine I guess I can’t stand in the way of that then” he looked closely at her “you sure you’re happy, ‘cause you know if you change you mind that’s fine to”
Buffy laughed and rested her head on Spike “I’m happy Xander”
Giles who had been silently cleaning his glasses for a while opened his mouth to say something to Spike, but Spike waved a hand at him, “I know, I know hurt Buffy equals Spike plus stake”
Giles looked at him “well yes, but I was going to say, what’s that on your neck?”
Spike rubbed the mark where Buffy had bitten him the night before and smirked at her “kitten, got a little rough” he said
Giles and Xander looked faintly ill whilst Anya looked happily at them, clearly enjoying the conversation, and Willow and Tara were still trying to blend into the background so Buffy wouldn’t yell at them again; they had no such luck though.
“Willow” Buffy said sweetly walking over to the redhead “please remove this spell before I put you someplace uncomfortable” and she smiled nicely and Willow gulped and held out the bloodstained stake,
“Just break it in two and the spells over” she said
Buffy pulled a face “hey, that’s my favourite stake”
Spike walked over to her “Do you want to be hummin’ chords for the rest of your life?” he asked “not to mention bein’ stuck in this house with me”
Buffy looked at him “the chords part no, the stuck in this house with you part definitely yes” and she broke the stake in two “but we can do that anyway” and she wrapped her arms around him
“Ok” Xander said “I have to accept the togetherness of them but I don’t have to watch it” and he turned “coming Ahn?”
“I think it’s sweet” she said and turned and followed Xander out the door, they were closely followed by Giles, Willow and Tara, who had been trying to apologise but realised that the couple weren’t really listening.
Spike and Buffy stared into each other’s eyes,
“You know” she said “I’m not really hungry anymore” and she grinned cheekily at him and walked up stairs,
Spike growled and followed her up barrelling into her an pinning her to the floor before nibbling lightly on her neck
Buffy giggled as his breath tickled her and pushed up into him moaning slightly,
“Ok guys ewww, scarred for life” Dawns voice sounded from the doorway which both Buffy and Spike had forgotten to shut “Can you at least wait till I’m not around?”
Spike nipped her neck once more and rolled away pulling Buffy to her feet “Sorry, pet thought you were at school or somethin’”
Dawn looked pointedly away at the barely dressed pair “It four o clock” she said, “I just got back from school, I was supposed to go to Willows but she and Tara were in pretty much the same position as you two. Jeez I figured I’d be safe in my home” and she walked into her room shaking her head but smiling.
Spike looked at her disappear down the hall “best get dressed, luv. Don’t to ruin Dawn’s life jus’ yet”
Buffy pulled a face “but I like your shirt”
Spike smirked “Well I guess you can keep it on jus’ this once” and he rummaged around her room for his tee-shirt, finally finding it behind the bookshelf, He turned around to find Buffy pulling her clothes off a shelf and out from the desk,
“Wow” she said as she pulled her bra off the lampshade “I did not know you could hang stuff off that shade”
Spike looked at her “yeah well ‘s long it wasn’ on you, I wasn’ fussed where it was”
Buffy grinned “I don’t mind” and a wicked glint came into her eye “So up for round two-where to hid Buffy’s underwear in a crypt?” she asked
Spike smirked at her “Do you even need to ask?”
The end
Maybe a sequel
If you ask nicely and politely :D
And review :D
Author's Chapter Notes:
All the lyrics are mine please don't take them without asking, also this is my fist NC-17 story so its not that graphic and also a bit tentative