Thank you for all of your comments. I wanted to cut this all up into two chapters or parts, but I decided to just keep it as one. This is slowly turning into a fic for the request of most people.

*****

“Oh, baby, just like that, yea.” Spike moaned. “Fuck, fuck …” he babbled on.

Harmony swirled her tongue around his cock before taking him whole again. Spike kept his eyes closed most of the time. He’d look down at her just to see the blonde hair, and then close his eyes again. He imagined Buffy doing this to him. He wished it was Buffy doing this to him.

But it wasn’t.

He hadn’t seen her since that day.

Six months ago.

Since then he’d been a mess. He tried getting a hold of her but she had turned her phone off. He paid for it anyway, so he assumed she was doing the ‘independent woman’ thing. He had called Faith demanding where she went, but all she would do is hang up on him. Finally one day he sad ‘fuck it’ and gave up. Now he had moved this young blonde into his home. Into his bed.

Into their bed.

God, he hated himself.

Spike came, Harmony was quick to swallow him down, and she moved up his body and kissed him. He kissed her back of course, running his hand through her blonde locks.

“Mmm, do me now.” She moaned and kissed his neck.

He obliged.

*****

Buffy missed him. She wanted him back, but she was fed up. She didn’t want to go back to where she was before, but some nights that’s all she wanted. To be in his arms. If he would come home. She thought back to the nights when he wouldn’t come home and she’d be left alone for days. She hated him for that.

After she had left, she went back to New York. It was cold. She was cold. Her bed was cold.

She picked up the phone several times but always hung up before she finished dialing.

She had found a lover in the big apple, to take away those cold nights and she appreciated it. She was grateful for him because now in a way, she wasn’t alone. And those nights when he would come over, those hours … it helped. It helped take her mind off of the man in California.

At least for a little while.

“Hello?” Buffy asked when she picked up her phone.

“Hey, I’m coming over tonight, okay?” Angel told her. “Wear something nice.”

Buffy smiled, “Of course. I’ll see you then.” Then she hung up. Her smile faded. She thought of the times in the beginning of her relationship with Spike when he would call her and tell her that they were going out and to wear something nice.

Not many.

Buffy sighed and went into the bathroom to take a shower.

*****

“Ouch, God, get off of me!” Harmony yelled sleepily before pushing Spike away.

Spike woke up then, “What? What happened?” He sat up and turned the light on.

“I need my space; you had your hands all over me. Just stay on your side.” She said then turned away from him.

Spike covered his face with his hand and went into the kitchen grabbing a beer.

“Bitch.”

Spike lay on the couch and turned on the TV.

That’s where he fell back asleep.

*****

“Mmm, morning,” Buffy moaned sleepily and put her hand over Angel’s. He rubbed her stomach, moving his hand up to cover her breast.

“Good morning indeed. Sleep well?” Angel asked then kissed her shoulder, moving his way down her back.

“Actually, yes I did.” Buffy rolled on her back, then moved and sat on top of him. “And … I had so much fun last night. Your friends are great.” She began kissing his chest, and then she kissed him.

“I’m glad you had fun, I think Wesley is fond of you. He kept on looking at you.” Angel said with a hint of jealousy in his voice.

“I hadn’t noticed,” Buffy grinned then sank down on his shaft. “I only saw you.”

“I like the sound of that.”

*****

“Spike!”

Snore.

“Hold on, he’s sleeping, I’m trying to wa—Yes, I heard you! It’s of major importance.” Harmony screeched into the phone. “He’s not waking up.”

“Spike! Phone!” She rolled her eyes and said with a mock accent, “It’s of major importance!”

“Bloody fuck, who is it?” Spike yawned.

“Who is this? Okay! It’s Wesley,” She informed him then dropped the phone on his stomach, “I’m going out, I’ll be back later.”

“Yeah, whatever.” He put the phone to his ear, “What do you want?”

Spike shot up, “You’re fucking kidding me.”

He got up and looked for clothes, “She’s there? Yeah, I’m going to book a flight, I’ll call you.”

Spike hung up and got dressed. After fixing himself slightly up, he packed a bag and was out the door.

*****

“Who was that?” Buffy asked when she walked into the room from her bathroom. She let the towel drop in front of needy eyes and grinned when she saw his expression. “Well?”

“Oh, that was Wes. He wants to hang out tonight, and funny, he said to bring you along.” He grabbed her and pulled her to the bed, both of them falling. He pinned her underneath him and kissed her, “Wonder why?”

“Mmm, I don’t know. Don’t care.” She kissed him and playfully pushed him away, “I have to get ready.”

“Buffy, you don’t have to.” Angel told her, “I was thinking anyway …”

Buffy dressed and sat on the bed, “Thinking what?”

He smiled a little and toyed with a strand of her hair, “I was thinking you could just move in with me.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Move in. As in, you putting all of your stuff in my apartment.”

“Oh.”

******

“I’m here, should I just get a cab or are you going to come get me.” A pause. “Okay, I’ll be waiting.”

Spike hung up and waited for Wes. He was nervous but more pissed because she went to the other side of the continent to get away from him. He should have known she would be there. They had met in New York. He sat down on a bench and lit a cigarette, thinking of Buffy and what she’ll say when she sees him.

“Why am I even here?” He muttered to himself and ground out his cigarette. Just then his phone rang.

“Wes? Are you here yet?”

“Here yet what? Where are you?” Harmony asked. “I left and now you’re gone. Where’d you go?”

“Oh, bloody hell.”

*****

“Do I look okay?” Buffy made a pose and Angel smiled.

“Beautiful.”

“Why thank you, kind sir.” Buffy kissed him then sat on the bed to put her shoes on.

“Yeah, my girl is getting all pretty for Wesley.” Angel grinned, “I’m sure Fred will be happy to know of that.”

“Oh, please,” She kissed him.

Angel stood up from the bed and put some cologne on, “Have you given any thought as to what I asked?”

“Oh, well … How about we talk about that when we’re not running late to meet your friends.” Buffy said and walked past him to the living room.

“Yeah, sure.” Was all he said as he followed her.

*****

“How long until she gets here?” Spike was nervous. He looked around the crowded club and bit on his fingernail constantly. Like some schoolboy.

“Soon, but I must tell you, she won’t be alone.” Wes told him.

“What?” He couldn’t believe it.

“The guy, Angel, Fred’s friend, well …”

“What? Tell me.” Spike said.

“Well, they are involved.”

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. She … she moved on? Fucking …”

“I had no idea it was her the entire time. When I came to visit California last week and saw a picture of her, I still didn’t put two and two together. Her hair, it is slightly different.”

“Yeah, yeah. I can’t believe this.” Spike downed the rest of his beer and ordered another. “How different?”

“Oh, well like that …” Wes pointed. “That different.”

“What the bloody fuck did she do?”

*****

“Wow this place is crowded; I don’t even think I’ll be able to dance.” Buffy held onto Angel’s hand as he pushed through the crowd to the bar.

“Oh, you know you’re going to dance, I love it when you dance.” He pulled her ahead of him to whisper in her ear other things he liked that she did. Buffy giggled and rested her head against his chest as they made it through the club.

“Oh, there he is,” Angel pointed to Wes and gave Buffy a light push in that direction.

“Hey Wes,” Buffy smiled and told Angel what she wanted from the bar. Angel sat down next to some blonde guy and ordered for Buffy and himself. Buffy stood between his legs and leaned against him.

“How have you been Wes?” Buffy asked.

“Oh, I’ve been … doing well, how about yourself, Buffy?” Wes sipped on his beer and looked past her to Spike. He had his head turned the whole time and when he snuck a glance she had her back turned to him.

“Oh, I’ve been great. Thank you,” She accepted her drink and Angel got up from the stool to let her sit. Buffy sat and sipped on her drink. She noticed something, some smell and it instantly took her back to her days in California.

“Are you going to go dance?” Angel kissed her.

“Only if you’re coming with me.” Buffy smiled, “And don’t give me that I don’t dance crap, just dance like you’re having sex, making love to me.”

“Oh bloody hell.”

“Oh God.”

*****

Spike slammed his beer down and turned in his seat not being able to take it anymore. He saw Wes’ eyes on him and the other guy’s eyes on Buffy. Buffy slowly turned around to face him.

“Buffy …”

“What the hell are you doing here?!” She yelled.

“You know this guy?”

“Buffy … can we talk?”

“No, we can’t. What are you doing here?”

“Came to see you.” He reached out to grab her hand but she took it away.

“Buffy who is this?” Angel asked. He crossed his arms and looked back and forth between the two.

“Who am I? I’m her fucking boyfriend, who are you?” Spike snapped.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong, I’m her boyfriend, and we’re leaving.” Angel grabbed Buffy’s hand and started walking.

“Buffy!”

Buffy walked away from him and with Angel.

“Fuck!”

“Buffy, who was that guy?” Angel had trouble keeping up with her, she was walking so fast. “Buffy?”

She turned around, her arms falling at her sides and watched as a couple of people passed them, then walked to him. “He’s the reason I left California. I don’t know how he found me.” She hugged him, “Get me out of here.”

Angel kept his arm around her as they walked away from the club.

*****

“William! Where are you going?” Wes quickly got up from his seat, following Spike as he pushed his way through the crowd. Once outside, he looked around as if she was waiting for him. “Where’d they go?” Spike asked turning and looking at Wes.

“I would assume he would take her home. Come on; let’s go back to my place. The night is over.”

“Bloody hell it’s over. I need to talk to her.”

“Tomorrow is another day.”

“No. Tonight. Where does she live?” Spike asked.

*****

Angel had taken her home and at her request he left after he tucked her in bed. She wanted to be alone. Seeing Spike tonight brought back every good and bad thing about their relationship in less than five seconds. She didn’t understand how he found her, and she knew that now that he had, he wouldn’t give up. She kicked the covers off of her and stood up, running a hand through her hair. She needed something … a drink. She checked her cabinets and then remembered her and Angel drank the last of his scotch that he had brought over a week ago. She hated it, but drank it anyway.

As she was walking back to her room, she heard a knock, no rather a pound on her door. She ignored it once but when she figured it wasn’t going to stop she looked into her peephole and saw him.

“Go away.”

“Let me in.”

She leaned her back against the door, “How did you find me?”

“I’ll tell you once you let me in. Is your boyfriend in there with you?” Spike asked sarcastically.

“Go to hell, and leave me alone.”

“We need to talk. Just open the door. I’m not going to go away.” She heard him testing out the doorknob. “Buffy …”

“Damnit!” She opened the door and the first thing he felt was the sting from her slap. “What the fuck do you want?!” She screamed.

He held his cheek then grabbed her pushing himself inside. Kicking the door closed he located where her couch was and pushed her on it.

She quickly picked herself up and looked at him, “Why?”

“I needed to see you.” He sat down beside her and was surprisingly calm.

She didn’t say anything, just kept looking at him hoping he would continue so he could just leave after she told him to go away. It wasn’t that easy though, he never gave up.

“Buffy, I’m sorry. For everything.” He looked at her and she looked away from him. He saw she was starting to cry and went to wipe away a tear that slid down her check, but she slapped his hand away and wiped it herself.

“Fine. Get out.” She got up from the couch, but he grabbed her again and pinned her down.

He held her arms above her head and straddled her, “Look at me.”

She was used to this, he always did this. Always had to be in control of every situation and out of curiosity, she stayed where she was and looked at him. She knew he wouldn’t hit her, he never had.

He didn’t hesitate. He leaned down and kissed her hard. She turned her head but he followed her movement and whispered against her lips, “Buffy, please …”

He shifted to lie beside her, his leg and arm over her. She turned her head away and he let his fingers softly graze her arm, “I came here to try to get you back, yes and to tell you I’m sorry. I do love you, I’m in love with you and I know you feel the same way.” He bent his head down and kissed her neck and inwardly grinned when he heard her moan.

“It’s too late, too much has happened.” She kept her head turned and closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of him.

“No, you’re wrong. We can still start again, I need you.” He let his fingers drift to the hem of her nightshirt and he moved his fingers over her tummy. When she didn’t protest that, he let his fingers go further up to the point where he was cupping her bare breast. He gently squeezed, then pinched her nipple with his fingers.

“Spike …”

She knew this was wrong, but it was familiar. Even though she had been happy with Angel, she always held a place in her heart for Spike, despite how bad things were. He was her first love.

“Have to say pet,” He leaned down and kissed her chin. “Love the hair, but I do prefer my goldilocks.”

“That’s why I did it.” She moaned. Oh, this was very wrong.

“I see.” He pushed her nightshirt up, leaving her breasts in full view. Still looking at her he darted his tongue out and licked around a nipple, then sucked.

She held the back of his head, “Spike, please … please, stop.”

He lifted his head and brought her nightshirt back down, “Can we go back?”

“I don’t think we can.”

He sat up, letting her get up as well and they just looked at each other, not knowing what to do next.

Buffy played with her fingers to keep her mind off of him. Sitting next to her. In her apartment. In New York.

“How did you get here? I mean, how did you know I was here?” Buffy asked.

Spike kicked his shoes off and rested his feet on her coffee table, “Wes.”

“How do you know him?” Kill Wes later, she thought.

“Cousin.”

“And I didn’t know this because?” She looked at him.

“Because you’ve never met him, well before you moved here. I’ve mentioned him before; you must not have been listening.”

“Or you just never mentioned him.”

“I love you.” He said out of the blue. “I always will. I … I just wanted you to know that.” He looked away from her and focused on the bowl of potpourri that was by his feet.

“Why couldn’t you tell me before?” She shifted her body and faced him, sitting Indian style.

“I did.”

“When it was too late.” Buffy stated.

“Yes, I realize that.” He looked at her, “I want to make it up to you.”

“I don’t think you can.” Buffy said then went to stand up but he stopped her by laying a hand on her thigh.

“I will.”

*****

Buffy woke up to her phone ringing. She yawned and sat up, looking over at Spike, then picked up her phone, “Hello?” The clock on her wall told her it was almost eleven a.m.

Spike was awake but kept his eyes closed, keeping up the illusion that he was sleeping.

“Hey Angel. Yeah, I just woke up. No it’s no bother, why don’t you come over later. No, not right now. Angel …”

Spike felt her get up when the couch shifted and opened his eyes so he could watch her. He saw that she went into her bedroom and he sat up. A couple of minutes later she came out.

“Oh, you’re up.” Buffy stated the obvious, “You need to go.”

“Why?” He stood up and walked to her, “Don’t want to, well unless you’re coming with me.”

“He’s coming over so that means you need to go.”

Spike smirked, “More of a reason to stay.”

“You can’t do this; you can’t come back after six months and pretend everything is going to be okay, because it’s not. You hurt me, Spike. A lot.” Buffy sighed.

“Baby, I know that. I’ve had a lot of time to think. I was a right bastard and I promise to do right by you.” He reached out to hold her but she stepped back.

“I don’t believe you. But I want to. I wish I could.” Buffy said softly.

“I came all this way! Doesn’t that show something?”

“Spike …”

“I’ve thought about you everyday. Always wondering where you were, I even called Faith. Too much. Bint hung up on my every single time.”

“I know.”

“Oh, so you know I’ve been trying to reach you.” He took a step closer and she didn’t move away, “I know you love me Buffy.”

“This isn’t about love! Of course I love you but you … you don’t treat me the way I need to be treated. If you loved me you would respect me, and you don’t.”

“Just give me a chance, I’ll show you, I’ll be the man you want me to be.” He pulled her close and rubbed her back. “Let me show you.”

She knew she was giving in and what scared her more is that Spike knew too. She didn’t know what to tell Angel though. To him, he thought everything had been good between them and it had, really. She had fun with him but she knew she was using him to get over Spike and it wasn’t working. She loved him still.

“I have to talk to Angel.” Buffy pulled away and looked at him. “I need to tell him what’s going on.”

Spike kissed her and smiled, “And what is going on?”

“Don’t be a jerk; you know exactly what is happening.” Buffy said and rolled her eyes at him when he grinned.

“Fuck,” was all she said when she heard the knock on the door, “You were supposed to be gone!”

“Oops?”

Buffy sighed, “Go in the bedroom or something, just don’t be out here.”

Spike kissed her again and went to her room. He closed the door, but stood next to it, hoping to hear what was going on.

*****

“Angel.” Buffy moved to the side and let him enter her apartment. “I need to talk to you.”

“Oh, well we can talk over lunch, why don’t you go get dressed.” Angel said, “I’ll wait here.”

“No, I mean, we need to talk. Now.” Buffy led him to the couch and they both sat.

“What is it you need to tell me? Did that guy get a hold of you? Are you okay?” Angel took her hand and looked at her.

Spike rolled his eyes and kept listening.

Buffy let him hold her hand, “Yeah, he did get a hold of me and I’m …”

Angel cut her off, “I knew I should have stayed last night! Are you okay? What did he do?”

“Angel, just let me finish, okay?” She rubbed his hand with her other hand and looked at him, “You’re a really great guy. You are, and these past few months, I’ve really appreciated you being here.”

Angel stayed silent and looked at her.

Spike grinned.

“I’m going back to California.”

Angel looked at her like she grew a second head in the last five seconds, “I’m sorry, what?”

“I’m going back with him. Angel, you’ve been great, but … I love him. I need to go back.”

“You don’t need to do anything! This is insane! Buffy, I mean, think logically! You can’t just leave an apartment sitting here!”

“You know I signed a seven month lease and hello! You asked me to move in with you, so what was I going to do? Just leave an apartment sitting here?” Buffy was getting annoyed. More annoyed at the fact that Spike was just in the other room. She hated this.

“Did I mean anything to you?” His voice got surprisingly low and he slowly looked at her, “Do I mean anything?”

“Angel,” Buffy now felt bad. It wasn’t fair. She liked Angel and he’d been so sweet to her, but she loved Spike. He came after her right when he found out where she was. I mean, that has to say something. Right? “Of course you did, do! You do, but he means something to me too, and I have to finish whatever I have with him. I have to have closure, or I just have to see if he’s for real. He may be and he may not be, but I have to figure that out for myself. For all I know, he did change his ways and if I give up on him when we could have had a chance, I’ll never forgive myself for it. I have to do this.”

Buffy took his hand, but he pulled it away, “Don’t expect me to wait for you, because I won’t.” He told her.

Better not be waiting for her, Spike thought. She’s mine.

“I would never ask you to wait for me. I’m sorry for how it’s …”

“Don’t. Just don’t.” He got up, glanced at her one time and left the apartment.

Before Buffy had a chance to react, Spike had already come out of the bedroom.

“Took him long enough, I thought the bloke would never leave. I’m surprised at myself, I was about to come out there and …” He looked at her, “Buffy?”

Buffy got up and walked past him to her room and he followed her, “Buffy?”

“Spike …” She sat on the bed and looked at him, “I … nothing.”

Spike was trying not to get upset. Why should he? He got the girl. Or did he? Now he just had to get her out of New York and back to California. Back home.

“Don’t worry about the apartment; I’ll take care of everything. We’ll send for your things.”

Buffy nodded.

*****

Buffy hadn’t heard from Angel and she decided it was better that way. She needed to go back and sort everything out. Today she was leaving with Spike and going back to California. Spike had stayed with her for the last week, packing and talking. Things were going surprisingly well. They hadn’t fought, she was happy. He had changed. This was what she needed to do.

Buffy got off the phone and went out into the living room, “Faith said she’d pick us up.”

“Okay”

Of course that was after Buffy practically begged her. Faith hated Spike and she was pissed off at Buffy for coming back with him.

“Are you ready?” Spike asked.

“I think so. This is how it’s going to be?” Buffy wrapped her arms around his hips and leaned on him.

“I told you, everything is going to be different.”

She believed him.

*****

“Damn B! What’s in this bag?” Faith asked as she dragged Buffy’s bag up the steps.

“A dead body.” Buffy giggled then sobered. “Thank you for getting us, I know you don’t …”

“Don’t say anything, it’s all good. Except for this bag.” Faith smiled as she dragged it.

Buffy nodded and walked up behind her. Spike was busy getting her other bags, plus his own. She fished out the key from her pocket and went to open the door, but it was already opened.

“That’s weird.”

“He’s a dumbass; he probably forgot to lock it when he left.” Faith said.

“Probably.” Buffy opened up the door and they went inside. She heard Spike walking, cursing at the weight of her bags also and she smiled.

“Just put it anywhere, I’ll go through it later.” Buffy yawned, “So tired.”

Spike came up behind her after putting her bags down, “I think a nap is in order.” He kissed her neck and went to the fridge, getting himself a beer.”

“Spikey?”

Three pairs of eyes focused on the bedroom.

“What the fuck?”

“Bloody hell.”

Faith just shook her head and smirked.

“Spike, who the hell is that?” Buffy turned and looked at Spike.

“I’m Harmony, who the hell are you?”

Please don’t hate me. *pouts*

More to come.