Chapter 15
Joyce was concerned when Buffy hardly ate any dinner. She just left to her bedroom, without saying anything. Joyce decided that she couldn’t handle the silent treatment any longer and went to confront her daughter. She heard crying coming from inside her room and didn’t even bother to knock before opening the door. Joyce felt even more concerned when she saw Buffy curled up in a ball on her bed, sobs taking over her body.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” she wondered, moving closer to the bed and sitting down next to her.
Buffy wiped at her eyes and looked up at her mother. “Did you ever think about getting rid of me when you were pregnant?”
Joyce was stunned by that question. “Of course not, Buffy. We were very happy about bringing you into the world. I never once regretted it. Why would you ask that?”
Buffy just avoided her gaze and didn’t respond.
Joyce was nervous and really hoped that she was prepared to ask her next question. “Are you pregnant?”
She took a deep breath before glancing back up at her mother. “It’s not me. I have a friend at school. She recently ended up pregnant by the wrong man and got an abortion. I didn’t know anything about it until afterwards. It just has me thinking about a lot. I don’t know if I could ever do that to my child. I guess I was just wondering if you thought about it.”
Joyce sighed in relief that it wasn’t Buffy and grasped her daughter’s hand, giving it a firm squeeze. “You were a blessing to us, sweetie. I never could have considered such a thing. You were a miracle to both of us. You see, we were told that I wasn’t able to have children. I was heartbroken and decided to adopt. Your father also agreed that it would be the best choice. We wanted a child very much. It was a little after that when I became pregnant with you. We didn’t think it could happen and considered it a blessing every day that you were given to us. That hasn’t changed, baby. We still think that every time we look at you. You’re our perfect little miracle.”
Buffy didn’t think it was possible to cry anymore that night, but she was wrong. Her mother’s words opened up the floodgates once again.
Joyce embraced Buffy and held her close to her chest, stroking her hair. “I know I disappointed you, but I’ll do whatever I can to have you look at me with trust again. I miss that, Buffy. I love you very much.”
Buffy held her mother tighter, knowing that she needed the comfort right about now.
* * * * *
“Come on, man. This isn’t healthy. You’ve been in bed for the last two days.”
Spike glared up at his friend. “Sod off, I like it here.”
Angel rolled his eyes. “How much have you been drinking, Spike? I think you’ve even gone beyond my usual limit of alcohol. God, what has this girl done to you?”
Spike looked pained for a moment. “She didn’t do anything that I didn’t deserve. I just want to be left alone.”
He shook his head. “I can’t do that. There’s no telling what you’ll do to yourself in my absence.”
“I’m not suicidal, you git.”
Angel didn’t care. “It doesn’t matter. I think the last thing you need is to be left alone right now. Come out with me tonight. I can get your mind off of this girl.”
Spike grumbled something under his breath and got out of bed. He grabbed his car keys and made his way over to the front door. “I need another drink.”
Angel stopped him from leaving the apartment. “Oh, I don’t think so. There’s no way I’m letting you drive in your condition. I think you’ve already drank enough to last a lifetime.”
Spike pulled his arm out of Angel’s grasp. “You’re not my fucking mum, Peaches.”
“Lucky me, I would hate to have such a bonehead for a son. Now, give me the keys.”
Spike handed the keys over without argument and plopped back down on his bed.
Angel sighed and had a feeling that it was going to be a long night. “I don’t understand why you’re being like this over some high school chick. You were only with her for about a month, man. She’s not worth all of this.”
Spike gave him a look that could kill. “You don’t get to talk about her, got that? She’s worth more than you could ever know.”
Angel was surprised by his friend’s tone, then burst into laughter. “You sound like you’re in love with her or something.” His laughter quickly died down when Spike remained silent. “Holy shit, you’re in love with her? When did you decide this? After the first fuck? She gave you some pussy and you decide that you would rather go back to being love’s bitch?”
Spike stood up and clenched his fists at his side. “I’m warning you, Angel. You don’t understand what we had.”
“Oh, I think I understand just fine. You’ve turned into the loser that you were when we first met. Do you remember why you moved here in the first place? To start new and get over that bitch of an ex-girlfriend that ruined your life. Okay, dating Lilah wasn’t the best choice either, but at least it wasn’t anything serious. She was just good for a fuck and you never had any real feelings for her. I’m the one that made you the man you are today, Spike. Haven’t you learned that getting serious with women and putting your heart on the line is nothing but trouble? This was just supposed to be meaningless sex for you. I didn’t think you would have actually grown real feelings for this chick. Yeah, you told me that you cared for her, but I figured you were just telling me crap. I never knew you were serious and that it would have turned into love. You’re delusional if you thought anything could have really happened between you two. I tried to be supportive of your thing with Buffy, but the whole time I was wondering what the fuck you were doing. You’re not William anymore, Spike. William was a geek that always got picked on and treated like nothing. I helped you change your appearance and gave you the nickname after you told me that you wanted to be someone different. And this is the thanks I get? I will not have you revert back to your old self after all of my hard work. It’s over with Buffy. You need to realize that and forget about her. There are lots of women out there just waiting for a guy like you. We’ll go out to the Bronze tonight and I’ll find a nice girl for you. One that you can use and throw away the next day, no strings attached. That’s what you need right now. I’m only looking out for you here.”
Spike took in everything Angel said and realized that he was right. He didn’t want to be that ponce William again. The bloody pansy would love too easily and let everyone walk all over him. Well, not anymore. Spike was his own man and he wouldn’t be love’s bitch ever again. It was time to see what else the world had to offer.