Chapter 17
“No, we have to stop.”
Spike pulled away and tried to catch his breath. “Why do we have to stop?”
“You can’t just kiss me and expect for everything to be okay. That’s not going to change my mind.”
He grinned and stepped closer to her. “I’m not done convincing you yet. We were always so great together, Buffy. You can’t deny that.”
“Things are different now. I’m not saying it can never happen again. I just need time right now. I have too much going on in my life. I don’t need you to complicate things more,” she explained.
“These last few days without you have practically killed me. God, you really have no idea what you do to me, do you? I’m not about to leave you alone now.” He reached out and touched her cheek. “You mean a lot to me, Buffy. I need you.”
Buffy didn’t think much about what he said. She just pounced and attacked his mouth with hers.
Spike was taken by surprise, but eagerly returned the kiss. He moved further into the alley and pushed her against the wall, where no one was likely to see them.
Buffy removed her lips from his mouth and started to trail them down his neck, nibbling along the way.
Spike moaned and lost what little control he had left. He ripped her shirt open and was relieved to see that she wasn’t wearing a bra. It wasn’t long before he took both of her nipples into his mouth and sucked them.
Buffy got his pants unzipped and released his cock.
Spike pulled away at the feel of her hands pumping him, then met her mouth again in a fiery kiss. He kissed down her neck and chest and kneeled before her, slipping her panties off underneath her skirt. He didn’t waste anytime to taste her sweet nectar and plunged his tongue inside her pussy, delighted that she was already soaked for him.
Buffy cried out and held his head, thrusting more into his mouth. “No more torture, Spike. I want you to fuck me,” she panted.
Spike licked his lips of her remaining juices and stood up. “Not yet. We’re going to do this, but you have to know that it’s more than just fucking. I need you to tell me you know that before this continues.”
Buffy crossed her arms over her chest. “What would you call it, then?” she wondered.
“I would call it making love. That’s what we’ve been doing all along. Well, at least I was.”
Buffy laughed. “It’s not making love if you’re about to take me up against an alley wall. That sounds more like fucking to me.”
Spike shook his head. He had to make her understand. “It doesn’t matter where you are, Buffy. It’s still making love. I need you to know that. We can go to my place if you need an actual bed. I don’t care where we go.”
“No, we’re doing this now. I’ll probably think too much if we wait to get to your place and change my mind. Fine, it’s making love. I don’t care what you want to call it. I just need you inside me now,” she said, then guided his cock to her opening and took him in.
All rational thought left Spike’s mind as he was once again buried inside of her pussy. He pushed her against the wall and made his thrusts faster, but careful not to hurt her.
“Harder, Spike. Fuck me harder.”
He didn’t feel like commenting about her use of that word again and just did as she said.
Buffy screamed out her release a moment later and held him tighter.
Spike was breathing heavily against her ear, pulling out of her after a few seconds.
She lightly pushed him away and started to fix herself up, giving him an almost sad look. “I should really get home now.”
He was confused and wondered if she regretted what they did, but didn’t get the chance to ask.
“I’ll see you around,” she said and headed out of the alley, without sparing him another glance.
Spike didn’t understand what went wrong. He thought they were making better progress. No matter how long it took, he would make her realize exactly what they were doing. She couldn’t avoid him forever.
* * * * *
“Hey, how are you feeling?”
Faith shrugged. “You know me, B. Five by five,” she commented.
Buffy was relieved to hear that. “Do you think you’ll be able to come back to school soon? I really miss having you around.”
“I don’t know. It’s hard to face anyone right now. I just know the truth is bound to get out. Does Robin look miserable?”
Buffy thought about it. “Actually, he caught some guy smoking in the bathroom and didn’t even give him detention. He would usually jump at the chance, but he just seemed distracted.”
Faith nodded. “Good, he should be. I don’t know what I was thinking when I got involved with him. Now that I think back on everything, it wasn’t even worth it. Take it from me, Buffy. Older men are not the way to go.”
Buffy looked away from her friend’s gaze. “Yeah, I know.”
Faith then realized what she said. “Well, I was mainly talking about me. It works for you. And Spike’s not a teacher anymore, right?”
She shook her head. “No, and that makes me feel even guiltier. He loved being a teacher, until I came along and ruined everything.”
“I’m sure he doesn’t think that you ruined anything. You’ve been happier since he came into the picture. You were so lost after what happened with Parker, but I could see a complete change in you with Spike. You can’t base everything on one bad relationship, B. Parker was a loser and not worth even thinking about, but Spike is still here. From what you told me, he doesn’t seem to be one that would just leave.”
Buffy sighed. “That’s what has me worried. We’ve only been together for a few weeks and he’s already willing to throw everything away for me. He gave up teaching and I know how much that meant to him. It was so much easier just thinking that everything was only about sex. It’s better when feelings don’t get in the way, but then he had to go and call it making love. I’m even more confused than I was. I figured that ending things with him was the right thing to do, but now I don’t know. A part of me wishes that I never went up to him in the Bronze that first night.”
Faith glanced down at her bedspread. “Well, I suppose you have me to blame for that. I probably shouldn’t have pressured you when you weren’t ready. It’s been about a year since your whole thing with Parker and you’ve hardly let anyone in since then. I just wanted to give you a little push.”
“I don’t blame you, Faith. I think I needed that push. Besides, I only said a part of me wishes that. There’s another part of me that thinks it was the best choice I ever made. Now, I just have to find out which part is bigger.”