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Author's Chapter Notes:
sorry if this chapter totaly sucks cause i really didnt have a clue where to go with this chapter :/
Chapter 10:

“Please Spike…just sit back down…I’ll…I’ll explain.” Buffy sighed. Watching wearily as Spike walked back over and sat back down this time opposite her.
She took a deep breath and stared into Spike’s eyes smiling at the interest that was clear for her to see.
She couldn’t believe she was preparing to tell him this.
“Spike…have you ever heard of Munchausen syndrome?” Buffy asked in a shaky voice.

“Urhh…yer it’s that thing when a parent lies about their kid being sick isn’t it?” Spike asked in confusion his brow furrowed as he saw the apprehension wash over her face.
Why the hell is she bringing this up?
Buffy saw the moment he started to fit things together and she would have laughed at the widening of his eyes if she hadn’t been talking about something that had haunted her for the last 6 years.
“My mom wasn’t a very nice person Spike…but my dad was worse. When I was 8 my mom decided she was sick of being a mom. She didn’t even say goodbye just…packed and left.” Buffy sighed fiddling with a stray piece of string next to her. She couldn’t bear to look up at Spike. She knew the look she would be receiving.

“My dad took the typical route and found his way straight to the bar. I can’t even remember him truly sober.He used to beat the hell out of me for stupid things...like if i left a sock on the floor or sometimes just for the sake of it...i was never aloowed friends either, he used to lock me in my room and not let me speak to other kids...guess that may be why im not good with the whole social thing…then one day my dad just changed. I remember waking up and he was smiling down at me. He carried me downstairs like a princess and made me this huge breakfast…he was my dad again you know…then he told me…he said it so calmly, that’s what I always remember…leukaemia.” Buffy whimpered out the last word and she heard Spike gasp slightly.

She looked up at him with blurry eyes and saw him about to move forward as if to hug her. She put her hands up to stop him and tried to give him a smile to reassure him she was okay.

“I didn’t know what it was…I was only about 12 but he told me it was very bad and that I would get sick…I had always hated getting sick and I got so frightened…I don’t remember how fast I got sick but it happened quickly…I was so tired I could barely get up in the mornings and was sick all the time, I stopped going to school and….one day my dad came in and…he shaved my hair off.” Buffy choked out the last part.

“I loved my hair so much he used to call me his golden angel and he shaved it off like it was nothing. I was terrified….being told I was going to die…I was only a kid…I didn’t want to die. From the ages of twelve too 15 I lived with only one thought Spike. Am I going to wake up in the morning? My mom had come back as soon as she had gotten the call from my dad. Not that she really cared about me it was more out of obligation. The local newspapers found out and the entire community rallied around holding fundraisers. If she hadn’t of come back she would have had to leave town completely.”

“People called me a survivor said I was so strong for lasting so long…a week before my fifteenth birthday I was woken up. My mom and dad were screaming at each other down stairs. That’s when I found out….” Buffy began to openly cry now. She had never told this to anyone. Not one person and now she was telling it all her still raw emotions just burst forth.

“Doctor Burke…the nice man who came to visit me every two weeks and who checked me over and helped give me my medicines…he was a guy my dad had met at a bar. The sickness I felt constantly was some sort of chemical my dad had been putting in my food…”

“God Buffy im so sorry” Spike said his voice full of emotion and his eyes were filled with unshed tears from listening to this obviously broken girl talk about such a terrible life.

“He did it to get my mom back…at least that was his original reason. He had just carried on when he realised all the money he was getting from it. My mom went nuts…not cause of what he did to me…because he had tricked her into coming back…I was a pawn. A stupid freaking pawn that they toyed with. I left that night. Put a baseball cap on packed a bag and left. Within three days of leaving home all my “symptoms” were gone. I felt…alive for the first time in as long as I could remember but I didn’t realise how bad the damage was…im not really alive Spike. How can I be living when I have no family…no friends…I don’t trust people Spike…your right. I keep them at a distance and im so sorry for doing it to you…you’re the first…you’re the first person I’ve ever…” Buffy couldn’t say any more and just sobbed uncontrollably.

Spike pulled her into his lap straightaway careful to not jostle her leg. She buried her face in his chest and let out 6 years worth of tears. It took almost ten minutes before she stopped and she pulled back embarrassed by her stupid display.
Jesus way to make yourself look pathetic.

“Buffy pet. There’s nothing to be ashamed of im so glad you told me…im so sorry luv…I’ve been an ass.” Spike apologised wiping the tears away from her face and feeling warmth spread through him when he felt her suck in a breath when his fingertips ran up and down her cheeks.

“I can’t believe a parent could have done something like that luv. Im so sorry and I wish I knew how I could take your pain away. No wonder you didn’t bloody trust anyone with parents like that!” Spike shook his head in disbelief.

“Thank you Spike…it felt good to finally talk about it with someone. Im glad it was you.” She smiled sweetly ducking her head trying to avoid his hypnotising stare. Sadly her eyes were drawn to his and she found herself unable to stop herself from leaning in. Their lips met in a soft sweet kiss and Buffy’s body sung from the feel of it.

The only types of kisses Buffy had shared were desperate, selfish kisses with the many men that had come and gone from her life and the needy, rough ones she had had with Spike but this topped them all.
She felt Spike hum in pleasure and she broke away leaning her forehead against his before pulling away completely and dragging herself out of his lap. Panic finally set in and she hastily tried to stand up to move away from him. He gave her a wounded look and reached out a hand but she moved back again.

“I'm sorry Spike. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I know you’re with Cordelia and im sorry. I…oh god.” She whimpered before hopping off into her shelter. Spike was up and about to follow her but the group picked that exact time to come bursting out of the jungle grinning and chattering away loudly.

Bollocks to this!

He stomped into Buffy’s make shift home and stared at her in disbelief.
“You seriously need to stop running away from me before I can explain myself!” Spike shouted not caring that the guys outside could easily hear every word he said Buffy on the other hand looked as if she was on the edge of hysteria.
“Okay we’ll talk tomorrow just please keep it down Spike not here.” She told.

“Fine we’ll go somewhere else.” Spike shrugged and swooped down. Buffy let out a girly yelp as he picked her up and carried her outside. He strode along the beach with her in his arms not even glancing at the eyes following them.

Buffy’s face was bright red and she was so relieved when he finally put her down a fair distance away from the camp. She was about to shout at him for doing what he did but Spike put a hand on her mouth, silencing her.

“Now you listen okay. Don’t ever say sorry for kissing me. Ever. I'm not with Cordelia. I swear I was making it all up to hurt you. Yeah that was an assholish thing to do but im sorry luv and you have to believe me nothing is going on between me and Cordelia…we’re friends at best.” Spike said pleadingly removing his hand from her mouth and instead holding her hand waiting for her to say something.
“You’re not with Cordelia?” Buffy asked a little dumbfounded.

“No.”

“Have you…” Buffy trailed off gulping back a lump in her throat unable to even finish the sentence.
“No Buffy. I swear there never has been and there never will be anything between Cordelia and me.” He smiled at her leaving a kiss on her hand as she burst out into the most brilliant smile he had ever seen.


“Ten Bucks says their having wild hot monkey sex right now.” Xander grinned earning a slap on the chest from Willow.
“Xander…she’s got a broken leg I seriously doubt it.” Willow scoffed.
“Yeah but have you seen those together. The way they look at each other screams sex I bet they’ll find a way.” Cordelia laughed.

“Looks like we’re gunna nave a third couple on this island. We should name it love island” Gunn laughed smiling at his girlfriend.
“I still think I’ve seen him someplace before.” Cordelia said adamantly. She still hadn’t let it go. She was certain she recognised him from somewhere…

“Look here they come.” Anya squealed excitedly while Giles just shook his head at the young people’s antics and went to go sit inside his shelter.
When Buffy and Spike neared the group they looked at each one of the expectant faces with suspicion.
“What?” Buffy asked.
“We were all betting on whether you too just had sex.” Wesley shrugged causing both Spike and Buffy to blush.
“You better not have…I went through hell looking after you that’s all I need is to have to deliver a baby.” Fred said sternly while the rest of the group including Buffy and Spike burst out laughing.


Later that night Spike sat staring into the fire with a goofy grin on his face. Buffy had gone to bed less than ten minutes ago with a whispered goodnight and a kiss on the cheek and he had been lost in dream world since. He had fallen hard. He already knew that and instead of the fear he thought he’d feel he was just unbelievably happy.

“Wow what did Buffy do to put that grin on your face?” Riley teased.
“Shut up Finn.” Spike sighed determined to not let the ape bother him.

“Seriously though are you and Buffy together now? Cause I would like to dish out some of the same teasing I got for being with Willow.” Xander laughed.
“Yeah…I think we are mate.” Spike grinned in response staring at Buffy’s little hut.

“Then why aren’t you in there with her.” Riley said sullenly annoyed at the Brit for his put down.
“Slowly.” Spike said simply before getting up dusting the sand off his jeans and strolling away ready to settle down for the night.





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