Author's Chapter Notes:
*warning* some angst
Chapter 6

When he returned she was still kneeling there staring blankly at the tree they had just fucked against and he suddenly felt really ashamed of himself. He should never have acted that wildly, but at the same time he felt like throttling the stupid bint. Why did she keep pushing him away?

“Here.” He said handing her the towel which she patted her back down with. She soon pulled the jeans he had brought on and before she had even pulled the top fully over her head she had began to walk away.

“What is wrong with you?” Spike yelled angrily.
“What are you talking about?” Buffy asked sadly knowing full well what he was angry at.

“One minute your hot the next your cold that’s what im talking about Buffy. I catch you sometimes you know….looking at me, then other times you just frown and look the other way. Same goes for everyone else who survived that damn plane Buffy. You may as well ignore everyone! Your not gunna make friends like that Buffy!” he growled angrily.
“Well maybe I don’t want friends.” Buffy snapped back finally letting her anger seep through.

“Why the hell not!? You can’t go on living like this Buffy! Especially here! You can’t get away from these people. Chances are your going to be living with these people for a very long time so you’d better open up a bit more.” Spike growled.

“Open up a bit more? I just let you fuck me against a fucking tree! I don’t think it gets much more open than that!” Buffy spat angrily. She was hurting and when she hurt her natural response was to lash out but it was the only way she had learned to look after herself.
“That’s not openness Buffy. Sure we had a good ole shag but you don’t let me near you! What if I said I wanted to get to know you? Instead of me wanting you to want me what if I said I wanted you to like me?” Spike sighed his anger finally running out.

“I don’t like people Spike, and I sure as hell couldn’t like you.” Buffy spat instantly regretting her words when she saw the wounded look flash across his face.
“You don’t mean that.” Spike said sadly a touch of desperation tainting his voice.

“Yes I do. You think me spreading my legs for you is me welcoming you into my life. I don’t want you. I don’t like you and I definitely don’t need you. You’re beneath me” Buffy snapped at him. How she managed to keep the hateful tone in her voice and the look of disgust on her face she didn’t know. That’s all she wanted to do was hug him close and wipe away the tears she saw rolling down his face.

“You’re a bitch.” Spike said shaking his head in disbelief.
“Yeah and you’re a stupid idiot who thinks he has a chance with me.” She snapped back coldly.
“Well obviously I have a chance! I just had sex with you didn’t I?” Spike said angrily but his voice betrayed his humiliation and sadness at her cruel rejection.

“Oh please Spike you fucking idiot! A fucking dildo would have been better than you the only reason I let you near me was because you just scream pathetic.” Buffy replied cruelly. She had heard the sadness in his voice and she felt so guilty for saying these things but she just couldn’t stop. If This was her only way of keeping him at a distance then she’d do it.

Spike clenched his jaw and looked away not able to even stand the sight of her. Oh how badly he had read her. He would never have suspected she’d be this much of a monster not even Drusilla had made him feel this low. Spike stormed off in the other direction without another word. Buffy waited until she knew he had left her alone before she completely broke down.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
When Buffy finally made it back to camp it was dark out. She had been wandering the jungle for ages and she would have carried on if it hadn’t of gotten so cold. She stared at the group of people huddled around the raging fire all laughing and talking amongst themselves. Three weeks ago they were complete strangers. They wouldn’t even have looked at each other on the street and yet here they were. Friends.

Buffy sighed sadly to herself. She couldn’t even make out who was who from where she was standing and yet she still felt a sadness fill her. She was getting jealous of people sitting and talking. How pathetic was she.

She held her head up high and strode over to the group hiding her true feelings behind a mask. When she neared she could finally make out who was who and a vice like grip clenched on her heart when she saw Spike sitting next to that Cordelia girl chuckling like he didn’t have a care in the world and a spark lit in his eye.
He glanced at her for a brief moment before looking back at the striking brunette who was practically drooling on him.
I really screwed all this up.

Buffy sat down heavily on the ground next to Oz and stared mournfully into the fire. No one even bothered to ask where she had been. That’s how much of a cold bitch she was they had got so used to her one syllable answers and her secrecy that they didn’t even bat an eyelid when she disappeared into the jungle for about 6 hours. Buffy was about to give up on trying the whole bonding thing and going to bed when Oz, the guy next to her give her a little smile.

“hey.” He nodded at her.
“Hi.” She replied simply looking down at her shoe nervously.
“Nice to see you’re back.” He smiled at her handing her one of the planes plastic little food trays with a bit of fish and a slice of melon on it.
“Thanks.” She smiled back at him feeling a little bit better now.

“So…how do you like the island?” Tara asked jokingly.
Buffy looked up at the dirty blonde and grinned. She liked this girl. She seemed to know exactly what was going on at all times and Buffy liked people like that. Who were aware of the world.
“I love it. Very spacious.” Buffy laughed. She stopped suddenly however when she noticed everyone was staring at her except Spike.

“What?” She asked nervously rubbing at her face thinking that she had something on it.
“You laughed.” Willow gasped as if it was a miracle.
“Yeah so.” Buffy replied a little self consciously.
“Sorry just haven’t heard you talk much since you got here and your usually really serious. Surprised me is all you see and im babbling right now so im gunna shut up right now and am I the single most idiotic person alive.” Willow gasped for air by the end of it and everyone erupted in laughter including a grinning Buffy.

Hmm this aint so bad.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Four weeks:

A month. One whole month. Buffy stared out into the ocean in wonder. They hadn’t seen one plane. One boat. Nothing. How can there possibly be no one looking for them.
“Doesn’t seem promising does it?” Giles sighed from behind her.

“Nah doesn’t look like.” Buffy replied shaking her head sadly and heading up the beach to where Willow, Oz and Spike sat. She gulped when she saw Cordelia begin to walk over to them too but she couldn’t just walk the other way so she sat down anyway.
“Hey guys.” Buffy smiled at everyone getting one back from all except Spike.

Her smile dimmed a little and faded completely when Cordelia came and sat next to him.
“Hey!” She greeted him brightly throwing her arms around him tightly.
Buffy was so upset watching Cordelia throw herself all over Spike she didn’t even notice Oz and Willow study her before giving each other looks.

“Hey Cordy.” Spike replied a little strained.
“You wanna go for a swim?” Cordelia asked flashing her pearly whites at him.
“Maybe later.” Spike suggested.

“No no none of that come on now.” Cordelia laughed pulling him to his feet and pulling him into the ocean with her.
Spike and Cordelia seemed to have gotten a little too close for Buffy’s tastes and she kept getting a lump in her throat every time she thought about them which unsettled her a lot.
“So Cordelia and Spike seem close.” Willow stated the obvious searching Buffy’s face for a reaction.

“Yeah…I guess.” Buffy gulped blinking away the burning in her eyes. Something that was not missed by Willow.
“What’s the matter? You don’t sound happy by that?” Willow prodded.

“What? No im fine. Just you know. She’s engaged. Bit skanky if you ask me.” Buffy bitched turning to watch as Cordelia and Spike swam in circles around each other.
“Okay enough lying what happened?!” Willow gave up trying to be subtle which earned her a little reprimanding look form Oz.

“what? Oh come on she would have never told us otherwise!” Willow justified herself giving Oz her resolved face to which he immediately surrendered.
“What are you talking about?” Buffy asked a little nervously.
“Oh come on Buffy we aren’t blind! You slept right next to him your first night then again on the second and I know something’s happened because you guys have been avoiding each other for ages!” Willow said crossing her arms stubbornly obviously set on not letting Buffy get out on this one.

“Nothing happened.” Buffy replied.
Willow and Oz both give her dubious looks however and she knew she had to come up with something.
“Okay fine we had an argument but we haven’t done anything together!” Buffy scoffed acting as if that was the least likely thing to ever happen.
“Really?” Willow asked a little sceptic still.

“Yes I swear. He told me I was a bitch and I needed to start getting with the whole group bonding thing…and…well I said a few things I shouldn’t have. Really terrible things.” Buffy sighed playing with her nails.
“Talk to him, apologise.” Oz suggested.

“Yeah I know…just got to get him alone.” Buffy sighed once again her eyes drawn to the sea where Spike and Cordelia were messing around. They truly did make a striking couple.

Damn it.

*****************************************************

2 Days later Spike was walking through the jungle after going for a swim in the little lake and waterfall and was dragging his feet wanting to do anything but go back to the beach and back to a clingy Cordelia. He had told the woman time and time again he wasn’t interested but she never seemed to listen.

“Spike.” He tensed when he heard her deceptively sweet voice call his name timidly.
He turned around to see her standing there shifting her feet and fiddling with fingers.
She looked downright terrified.
“I'm sorry Spike. I wanted to say im sorry for the way I acted and I am trying to...be better.” Buffy managed to speak with very little stuttering which was a plus.

“Is that all?” Spike drawled slowly acting completely indifferent. Buffy furrowed her brow and looked down at her feet in disappointment.
“Well yeah…are you still angry with me?” Buffy asked quietly.
“No.” Spike shrugged.
“Yes you are! Spike tell me what I can do. Im sorry I shouldn’t have said those things they were terrible I know that! Please don’t ignore me” She said sadly her eyes filling with tears
“Well now you know how it feels. At least I haven’t fucked you and then ignored you.” He sniped angrily earning a flinch from Buffy.

“Yeah okay I deserved that but I swear Spike im changing. You’ve seen me! I talk to the group all the time now!” Buffy tried, moving closer to him.

“Oh good for you! You spoke to them! How kind!” Spike snapped. His frustration at being stuck on the island, his confused emotions for Buffy, and his anger for what she had said to him and his annoyance at Cordelia all suddenly become too much and he knew he was going to take it all out on the tiny slip of a woman in front of him.

“You know I don’t think of them, like that! Im learning I really am I spend a lot of time with them now.” Buffy attempted.

“So what Buffy! You still don’t let them in! That’s all you do is joke around be sarcastic. You don’t open your damn self up and you won’t admit what was wrong in the fucking first place. You’re a cold fucking bitch. I don’t know how you got to be this way but you always will be. Good luck living on your own for the rest of your sad life.” He snarled moving out of her way. She scooted left however and blocked him in.

“No we have to talk about this! I swear I didn’t mean what is said! Your not beneath me Spike im beneath you….I swear I-”
The roar that tore from Spike made her jump and she flinched as he suddenly grabbed her by her shoulders pulling her face into his smashing his lips forcibly to his.

He kissed her harshly sucking and biting at her lips until he could even taste her blood in his mouth. She whimpered against him and wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him closer. He pushed her away suddenly and she lost her balance falling onto her ass with a loud thud. She looked up at him pleadingly, begging him to understand how sorry she was. He didn’t notice however and he launched himself on top of her.

Kissing along her neck and sucking on her pulse point. Buffy bucked beneath him grinding her core into his knee and gasping at the bolt of electric that struck her. It felt like she was on fire. A loud ripping accompanied the tearing of her shirt as he ripped it from her. She gasped into his mouth as his fingers played over her nipples, rolling them between his fingers and finally taking one into his mouth.

He bit on it rather savagely and Buffy bit back the cry of pain she felt from it. She felt him pull away and looked up to see him unbuckling his belt and pulling his dick out. She stared up into his eyes to see if she could see any forgiveness in them at all but that’s all she could see was a dark lust filled look that actually frightened her.

He moved up her body until he was straddling her chest and she looked at his member knowing what he wanted before he even opened her mouth. She opened it wide and held back her gag reflex as he pushed half of himself into her mouth.

She sucked and licked eagerly on him, wanting to please him so much. She just wanted him to say he forgive her. She had never asked for anyone’s forgiveness before and it made her wonder just how much Spike meant to her. She couldn’t think too long however as Spike picked up his pace and was soon burying his entire length down her throat. The entire nine inches disappeared down her throat and she swallowed around him taken by surprise as he came in her mouth a loud groan leaving him.

He pulled out of her mouth and she was surprised to see he was still hard. He looked down at her with an almost animalistic look in his eyes and he ripped open the button of her jeans and pushing her legs apart so her knees were parallel with the floor. She gasped as he slid smoothly into her. His body kept connecting with her clit and she was soon on the edge of release.

“Spike…oh god Spike...please!” She cried desperately into his neck leaving soft kisses up and down his neck.
She felt him moan into her ear and was relieved when he finally let go of her thighs letting her wrap them around his back tightly. They continued on for what felt like hours moving together perfectly. She suddenly felt his hand travel down and he pinched her clit obviously intending to send her into orgasm and just as the first wave of pleasure crested over her he shot his seed over her stomach.

Buffy however was lost completely. She didn’t notice his spunk dripping down her stomach or the waves of pleasure that was slowly rolling through her. That’s all she could think about was the one word she had heard Spike grunt in her ear just before he came.

Cordelia.





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