Author's Chapter Notes:
sorry for the long wait. the chapter is kinda long so i hope it makes up for it a little..but i'm really excited about this chapter probably because it's the first one in a while! but despite it's sad note i really liked writing it....probably because i enjoy drama that isn't mine lol....so i hope you enjoy it too
Chapter 18: World Without Her

Spike woke up in the morning to an arm resting across his chest and a body cuddled against his; an apparently naked body against his apparently naked body. He smiled. The events of the early morning flashed through his head and he couldn’t help but bring Buffy closer to him. He hadn’t expected it to happen so fast but this girl was quickly stealing his heart.

Buffy felt the arm around her tighten, and let her eyes flutter open. She had gotten drunk…hammered actually, and slept with Spike. And her heart fell. Buffy wasn’t upset because she slept with Spike…she was upset because she slept with Spike and was too drunk to remember exactly how beautiful it was. She had lost her virginity…and only a few blurs of what happened floated lightly in her mind.

Spike saw the change on her face and gently brushed loose strands of hair out of her face. “You alright, pet?”

Buffy quickly put on a big smile. “Everything’s fine, it’s just-ooh my head hurts.” She whined, placing her small hand to her right temple.

The blonde man chuckled. “Well, that’s what you get when you drink more than that petite body can handle.”

Buffy laughed along with him and pulled the sheet higher to cover her naked breasts. “Spike, about last night-” the blonde started nervously.

“It was amazing.” Spike claimed pulling her closer and gently running a hand over her cheek. “But why didn’t you tell me it was you’re first time? I would have been more gentle with you.” Spike couldn’t believe that she let him have one of those precious milestones in a young girl’s life.

“No, Spike. You didn’t do anything I didn’t want. I’m not glass, it’s okay to be a little rough with me.” she giggled at Spike’s semi-shocked expression.

Spike rolled on top of her again. “Baby likes it rough, does she?” he smirked. He leaned down to place a kiss on her lips when the alarm on his phone went off. “Shit…I gotta get outta here. I’m supposed to help my dad clear out the garage today. I’m sorry, pet.”

Spike crawled out of the bed, and started pulling on his clothes reluctantly. Buffy did the same eying Spike’s firm ass in the process. When he was done, he turned around to find Buffy in her underwear and reattaching her bra behind her back.

Spike strolled over and wrapped his arms around her. “I’ll call you later, alright pet?” she nodded her head, and he gave her a passionate kiss before smiling brightly at her and leaving the pool house.

Buffy continued to dress, throwing on something comfortable in Cordelia’s closet. She trudged her way over to the main house, the sunlight not doing anything to sooth the horrible hangover. She sat down at the table in the kitchen, joining Cordy and Angel who both seemed to be nursing hangovers.

Angel’s head was resting on the table, Cordy was massaging her temples, and Buffy had her elbows on the table and her head in her hands.

“Did you kid’s have fun last night?” Karen, the housekeeper asked with a smirk. She was more like part of the family instead of just the help. She came by in the mornings and fixed breakfast, did whatever needed to be done, fixed and ate dinner with them then retired to the guest house next door.

“Auuughh.” The three answered.

Karen chuckled. “Aspirin anyone?”

“Yes!”
“Please!”
“Thank God!” the three teens answered at the same time.

“There you guys go. Eat up.” Karen placed three plates of eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast in front of them along with the Aspirin, and then headed out of the kitchen.

“So how was your night, Buffy?” a groggy Cordy asked.

Buffy brightened. “Oh my god, Cordy…I can’t believe it hasn’t jumped out of my mouth yet! I spent the night with Spike last night!” she said excitedly.

Angel stood up and walked out of the kitchen mumbling. “I think I’m gonna puke.”

Buffy smiled shyly. “Sorry Angel!” she knew he never liked to hear any of their girl talk, little did she know it wasn’t the girl talk that bothered him, it’s what the girl talk was about. She didn’t notice the sad look on Cordy’s face as she watched her brother leave with an even more broken heart than last night. “So anyway…”

Cordy listened as Buffy relayed the events of last night, nodding and throwing in ‘uh huh’s’ when necessary. She was happy for her friend, but grieving for her poor brother.

* * * * * *

Two weeks Later

“I don’t understand, Cordelia!” Buffy sobbed in her friend’s lap in the girl’s room. “What did I do wrong that he would go back to her…after everything!?” Tears streaked the blonde’s cheeks, and fell onto Cordy’s lap.

The brunette ran her fingers soothingly through Buffy’s hair. “You didn’t do anything wrong, sweetie. He’s just a stupid boy. Don’t beat yourself up over him, he’s not worth it.” She consoled her best friend, with pain in her voice for the poor girl in front of her.

Buffy pulled her head up, and wiped away her tears. “But he was saying all these beautiful things, like how now he believes in love at first sight, and that I was gorgeous inside and out, what a bunch a bullshit.” She spat out roughly wiping away more tears.

Cordy tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Well he wasn’t wrong about that. But, honey you know guys will say anything to get what they want.” Buffy sniffed a couple of times and held back any tears she had left. “You know there are guys out there that aren’t all about what they want. Like-”

“Angel.” Buffy said cutting her off.

“Exactly!” the brunette exclaimed.

“No…Angel’s at the door.” Buffy nodded toward him.

Cordy turned around. “Um…I heard crying…I was just checking up on you guys. Everything okay?” Angel asked looking at Buffy.

Buffy smiled. “Yeah…just hating Spike right now that’s all.” She joked.

“Good. He’s an asshole for what he did to you. You just say the word and I’ll kick his ass for you.” Angel grinned at the beautiful blonde.

Buffy let out a short laugh. “Thanks but I think I wanna be the one to do that.”

“Kay. Let me know if you two need anything.” Both girls nodded, and angel left, closing the door behind him.

Cordy turned back to Buffy. “How about a sappy movie and some rocky road, huh?”

Buffy just smiled.

* * * * *

The next day at school Buffy wandered the halls with Cordy, trying her hardest to keep her mind off of Spike. She knew he usually spent his lunch in the café, so she’d forgo her lunch and walk around the school.

“Just don’t think about it…” Cordy pushed, her arm linked with her friend’s.

“But it’s so hard Cor. I mean I thought I loved him…maybe I still do, but I can’t just wash him from my mind, I wish it were that easy.” Buffy countered. “Right now, I think it’s best if I just kept him out of my sight.”

With that, Buffy bumped right into the hard chest of someone who was stepping out of the library. When she looked up she caught the eyes of Spike. With a wary smile, she turned to Cordelia. “Well that lasted long, now didn’t it?”

“Buffy…” Spike breathed out. He glanced toward the person beside the blonde and found two very angry, glaring eyes in his direction. Cordy stood there with her hand on her cocked hip, and one eyebrow rose in a challenge. “Can I talk to you for a moment Buffy…alone?”

Buffy looked at her friend and nodded her head in approval. Cordy scoffed as she turned around and walked away with a flip of her hair. “What do you want, Spike?” she spat out as if his name was poison in her mouth. “I’m pretty sure you said everything that needed to be said yesterday when you left me for that vapid ho, that likes to ruin my life on the daily.”

Spike stepped closer. “Don’t talk about Dru like that.” he snarled.

“Oh, but she can trash talk me all she wants? That’s not how it works.” Buffy growled. “Look why don’t you say what it is you want to say and leave me alone okay.”

Spike sighed. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for how everything happened. I never lied to you about my feelings I feel very strongly about you, but there’s something about Drusilla that just makes me forget about everything else but her. Maybe if things had been different…maybe in a world without her, we could have worked out.” Spike caressed her face, and wiped away the lone tear that his words caused. “That night with you at the pool house, it goes down as one of the best nights of my life…I’ll never forget it.” He whispered that last part in her ear. He placed a sweet kiss to her temple, and gave her a sad smile as he walked away…towards the café…towards her.


Chapter End Notes:
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