Day 12
Buffy awoke in the same position as the previous morning. Opening her eyes to take in Spike’s serene expression, she marveled at the beauty of his face. She bit her lip, contemplating her failed kiss from the day before.
She could never be brave enough to make the first move while his bright blue eyes watched her, but if she could make a small gesture, just to let him know she was interested, then maybe he could take it from there.
She gently eased in closer, not wanting to wake him too soon. Licking her lips and trying to quell her churning stomach; she lowered her head until her lips were just a whisper from his.
Just kiss him already, she chided herself.
Taking one last deep breath, she pressed her lips against his.
~~~~~~~
As Spike drifted in that place between dreams and waking, the part of his mind that was more awake than asleep registered the kiss. Soft lips pressed against his. Buffy lips. Lips of Buffy.
Wallowing in the gentle exploration of her lips, the part of his mind that didn’t want to be manipulated, that ruthlessly refused to see the Slayer as anything more than a friend- albeit a very good friend- was still asleep. The waking part of his brain had absolutely no problem snogging this girl. On the contrary, this part really, really wanted to kiss his mate.
Buffy allowed herself to be saturated by his emotions, deepening the impact of the kiss on her. It intoxicated her. She’d never experienced anything like it before. She wondered briefly if she should feel guilty for taking advantage of his vulnerable state, but the feelings that were coming through the bond negated any concerns she might have had.
Strong arms wrapped around her, holding her in place. As their lips moved in time to some internal music, she felt him waking. His love exploded through her, a mushroom cloud of emotion saturating every part of her. She was so overwhelmed by the depth of his love that she almost missed the gamut of emotions that followed. Surprise. Shock. Regret. Terror.
Spike pushed her away from him, grabbing the sheet and moving with superhuman speed out of the bed and over to the other side of the chamber. “Buffy, I’m sorry. I don’t know how that happened. I didn’t mean to take advantage…I’m so sorry, pet,” he babbled incoherently.
“Spike,” she called for his attention.
“You have to forgive me. I’m a bad rude man.” His desperation and confusion were clear in his voice.
“Spike,” she called his name louder. She was starting to get a little pissed. She’d been happily enjoying the best kiss she’d ever had and his panic attack was spoiling her mood.
He hurriedly pulled on his jeans as he implored her to give him a second chance. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing her friendship over something as stupid as his lack of control while sleeping. He was desperate to fix it. He just had no idea how to do that. He didn’t care about the tears that were slowly making their way down his cheeks. For once, he was happy about the bond between them, because there was no way she could fail to feel his deep remorse. He found himself praying to whoever would listen that this golden goddess would find it in her heart to forgive him.
“I didn’t mean to kiss you; I don’t know how it happened…you have to believe me…”
“SPIKE!!!” Buffy shouted irritably. Her frustration at his reaction was escalating. “I kissed you, you idiot.”
“Huh?”
Buffy felt his shock. She slowly started to move towards him as she expanded on her earlier statement. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I kissed you.” She felt like she was trying to coax a frightened puppy out from a hiding place.
She felt the change in his emotions the moment he registered her words. Fear subsided and something else took its place. ‘Whoa! Guess Egypt is pretty this time of year,’ she thought with some amusement.
“Right then,” Spike stated briskly. Picking up his t-shirt, he quickly finished dressing. There was no way that the Slayer had meant to kiss him in any way other than friendship. No way. His friend had given him a friendly kiss good morning and that was all there was to it. End of story. “Let’s head off to the Watcher’s, then, shall we?”
“But…”
“Need to hurry, pet. Don’t want Mr. Bits to catch you here. I’ll take the sewers,” Spike announced his decision, snatched up his mug, and took off through the passages. He wasn’t running away. Really.
Buffy watched him go with amusement. Picking up her stake from him, she turned to the ladder and made her way up and out into the sunshine.
She walked quickly, lost in thought. Try as she might, she couldn’t come up with a plausible reason for Spike’s reaction. She knew without a doubt that he was in love with her. His feelings had already given him away. She also knew that her own feelings towards her mate were definitely heading in that direction. She was well and truly past the ‘I hurt when he hurts’ stage. In a short time, he had managed to make her re-evaluate all her previous misconceptions about what love felt like. She already loved him, but she wasn’t sure if she was in love with him yet.
Her thoughts drifted to Drusilla and memories of her cryptic messages flashed through her mind. They had to see the truth, they had to follow their hearts and not deny…
Suddenly, it all seemed to click into place. Dru had told her to follow her heart. Dru had done a spell bonding Buffy and Spike as mates. Dru wanted them to fall in love.
The tingling exploded from her bite mark. It was the strongest reaction it had given so far. She as suddenly able to pin point exactly where Spike was and what he was thinking at that moment. He was already at Giles’, and apparently he’d felt the tingling, too, because the ‘bloody hell’ that echoed through her was accompanied by feelings of surprise and curiosity.
Buffy wondered briefly why Drusilla would do something like this. Why was it important to the evil vampiress that the Slayer should fall in love with Spike?
He was quickly becoming everything she didn’t know she wanted and more. Try as she might, Buffy couldn’t see a down side. He had supernatural powers, so he could protect himself. He knew absolutely everything about her. He had a soul. He fought for the good guys. He was gorgeous.
Nope, no down side there!
But it was clearly important to Drusilla. She wanted it to happen…why?
‘Oh God! I hope it’s not a prophecy.’
~~~~~~~
Spike paced. He’d managed to keep the watcher distracted by telling him about the cheerleader dusting the poof. Giles was happily snickering away in the kitchenette, preparing his pot of tea.
Spike didn’t want to admit it but he was really shaken by the morning’s events. Buffy had kissed him. The Slayer had kissed him of her own free will. NO. It must have been an accident or something. They were just friends, so there was going to be some sort of explanation. The problem, in Spike’s mind, was that he didn’t want to ask for the reason. Maybe if he just ignored it, it would all just go away. That way he could keep his friends and there would be no complications. They would sort out the bonding later and everyone would be happy. He ignored the little voice in his head that said ‘except you.’
When his bite went into tingling overdrive, Spike was thrown by the intensity of the euphoric feeling the engulfed him. “Oy Watcher,” he called to the watcher. “Looks like Buffy’s had success in something. Bloody bite’s makin’ itself known.”
When Buffy breezed through the door a short time later, she discovered her watcher and her mate discussing the events of the day before.
Her mate.
She really loved that term.
Buffy moved around the couch to take a seat next to Spike. She was a little disappointed when he moved slightly away from her, but she had an idea about that. She was the queen of denial. She could recognize it a mile off. For some reason her vampire was swimming in the Nile and while she had no clue as to why he was, she was not above dragging him out screaming and yelling.
She made her plan of attack. The Slayer was on a mission and Spike hadn’t beaten her yet.
“Buffy, what was your impression of Pete?” Giles asked the distracted blond.
“Short, Yoda like guy, but with better speech,” Buffy answered automatically. At the mention of the old wizard, she remembered that she had a question for her Watcher. “He said I was a Master Slayer. How come you never told me I got the upgrade?” Buffy asked, curious. She wasn’t angry…yet.
“What on earth is a Master Slayer?” Giles asked, shocked. He had never even heard a whisper of the term.
“You don’t know?” Buffy wanted to believe his apparent lack of knowledge, but the roller coaster of emotion she’d been on the day before coupled with the knowledge of how she’d earned her title was making that difficult.
Giles was irritated at his own lack of knowledge. He had a suspicion that this was something the council had deliberately kept from him, but until he knew for sure he would do what he did best – research. “I assure you, Buffy, I’ve never heard the term before. Did Pete give you any further information?”
Buffy shared a glance with Spike, his slight nod telling her that he believed Giles too. “He didn’t say much, Giles. Just that it was like an honorary title and that a slayer got it because of their experiences.”
“Experiences, you say?” Giles responded thoughtfully.
“Like passing the Cruciamentum,” Spike commented flatly. He unconsciously reached over and gave Buffy’s shoulder a small squeeze.
Giles had the grace to look ashamed. While he knew that he had done the right thing in the end, he would always feel deep shame in the fact that he was the one that put a needle in Buffy’s arm. He had betrayed her trust.
Buffy honestly felt that the time for recriminations had long since passed. She lifted her hand to Spike’s as it rested lightly on her shoulder and returned his squeeze. “Apparently being mated to a Master Vampire didn’t hurt either,” she told Giles wryly.
Spike followed her lead. “He had a book, Rupes. You might want to call him and find out the name of it. It’s where he was getting his information from.”
Buffy waited for her watcher to make a note of the information, also giving him a chance to compose himself, before she continued. “And Spike’s got his soul back. Permanent. No pesky happiness clauses for our vampire,” she grinned happily.
“But…how…are you sure?” Giles was completely stunned by the information. Elated for his friend, but shocked to his very core that such a thing was a possibility. He had always prided himself of his near encyclopaedic knowledge of the supernatural. How was it that he had never seen a hint of this situation?
How much more had he missed? How much did he not know?
Buffy and Spike took turns telling Giles about everything they’d learned in L.A. As he absorbed the information, the analytical part of his brain continued to pursue the matter of the missing information. He was beginning to suspect that his training was a little one sided, and if that was the case there was only one place to lay blame. The Council.
“So, what you are telling me is that Spike’s decision to change his nature was all that was needed to allow his soul to return to him. The change is permanent and totally isolated from the bonding spell that Drusilla has performed. The bonding spell will be broken when the talisman is destroyed and you are following the path required to break the looping day spell,” Giles said, confirming that he had understood the situation completely.
After acknowledging Giles’ accuracy, Buffy and Spike went on to inform him of what they had seen when they followed Riley.
“Is it possible that he has a chip, too? That Adam may be controlling it?” Giles asked, thoughtfully.
Buffy thought about it. “It wouldn’t surprise me, given some of the other things Professor Walsh has done, and it would explain the Robo-Riley performance.”
Spike had a horrifying thought. “What if he can do that to me?”
A dull aching buzz hit both blonds simultaneously. Twin hands reached for the bites that belonged to them.
“The chip’s gotta go,” the Slayer decisively announced.
The tone of the tingle changed. Pain gave way to pleasure, supporting the Slayer’s decision.
“Is it always that obvious?” Giles asked, curious. The expressions on both their faces had mirrored precisely.
Buffy grinned. Maybe it was time to start with phase one of her plan to claim her vampire. “Watch Spikes face,” she told her watcher before turning to face her mate.
“We need to help Warren,” Buffy said then watched Spike cringe. Her own marks echoing his pain.
“We need to help Tara.”
Spike smiled in relief. The intensity of the buzz seemed to be building.
“The chip won’t be a problem,” Buffy cringed at the painful surge that pulsated from her bite.
“There’s a prophecy that relates to my relationship with Spike,” Buffy guessed. Spike’s look of pleased surprise urged her on. The pleasant tingles confirmed her idea.
“Spike and I are destined to be together.” The waves of euphoria she had experienced when she had first had the epiphany returned in full force.
Giles was awed by the beauty of their shared joy. He wondered briefly at his own lack of concern in relation to his slayer getting involved with another demon, but everything within him screamed that this was different. As he reconciled with his own feelings he was a little shocked when he noticed the reactions of the blond vampire that he was learning to call friend.
“As friends,” Spike announced, panic written plainly all over his face. “Buffy and I are just friends. Good friends. Best friends, even. That’s our relationship. Friends.”
Buffy smiled in amusement. Oh yeah, denial boy was in full force.
Giles was struck by a single thought, ‘Apparently, Buffy’s ability to live in denial is infectious.’
~~~~~~~
“But why me, Slayer?” Spike whined. He really didn’t like her suggestion.
Buffy lifted an eyebrow and crossed her arms. His petulance was cute, but it wasn’t going to change anything. “You’re better at this than me. We need to know how to fix the Xander shaped problem and you get the job.”
“Why can’t the watcher do it?” he pleaded, looking for a way out of the situation.
“I’d be more than happy to, Spike,” Giles said jovially. “As long as you don’t mind taking over all the research. How is your Ancient Sumerian?”
Spike pouted and slumped further down in his seat. There was no way he was letting on that he probably knew more languages than the watcher, because he knew damn well that if he admitted that, he’d be roped into all sorts of bloody research. That idea alone made chattin’ with the whelp look like the lesser evil.
Buffy patted him on the arm. “It’s alright, Blondie; we'll be here if you get into trouble with the mean little human boy.”
“I'm a master vampire, not a bleedin’ therapist,” he muttered petulantly.
“And apparently a gifted impersonator. Your interpretation of a spoiled child is truly inspiring, Spike,” Giles teased.
“Oh, ha bloody ha.”
~~~~~~~
“So how's the new job, Whelp?” Spike asked after taking a seat next to the brunette on the couch.
It hadn’t taken much for Buffy to get Xander to come over; just a phone call and a promise of sugary goodness. He’d even offered to pick up the donuts on his way. Everything about the boy screamed desperation to Spike and the vampire was surprised to find that he really did want to help the boy.
“Um, fine, and you're asking why?” Xander replied suspiciously.
“Just makin' conversation.” Spike shrugged returning his gaze to the book he was supposed to be looking at.
“Since when did we become conversation buddies?” Xander sniped. He didn’t trust demons. He didn’t know how this one had convinced Buffy and Giles that he was on their side, but Xander didn’t believe it for a minute. There was no way he was going to be able to fool the Xan-man.
Spike lifted an eyebrow. “Would you rather be a nummy treat?” he joked. When Xander just glared, Spike sighed deeply. This was not going to be easy.
“Look, me and the slayer's come to an understanding. I just thought we could talk like civilized people. Is that a problem for you?”
Xander gave the vampire a hard look. “Yeah, it is. You're not people and I'd don't get into conversations with demons.”
“And why is that? You're dating an ex-demon, but you're above talking to regular ones?” Spike asked nonchalantly.
“Maybe because I've been helping fight them for the last three or four years,” Xander commented sarcastically.
“Nah, don't think that's it.” Spike argued absentmindedly, knowing full well that an attitude of disinterest from him would get further than interest. Harris didn’t trust him. That much was clear.
“What would you know?” Xander scoffed, but there was an element of curiosity in his voice.
Spike chose that moment to look the youth directly in the eye. “I think you've got some demons of your own to deal with.”
“Yeah, cause you know me so well.” Xander was trying very hard to hide how much interest he had in the conversation. It frightened him, but strangely excited him too.
“I know you better than you think, Harris. So what was it? What made you hate demons so much?” Spike asked. His curiosity was obvious, as was his complete lack of animosity.
“None of your business, bleach boy,” Xander snapped, not liking the subject any longer.
“You know holding onto the anger doesn't solve anything,” Spike told him mildly. He made the decision there and then to make a leap of faith. The boy obviously wasn’t going to do anything to make himself vulnerable to the vampire. Well, not unless the vampire did something first. “I admire you, you know.”
“Wha? Huh? Admire me?” Xander looked at Spike in shock.
“Well, yeah. Out fighting the good fight every night. Battling the creatures in the dark with no supers powers, just a determination to help make the world a safer place. Takes balls of steel, that does,” Spike assured him sincerely.
“Yeah, well, I do what I can.” Xander tried really hard to project the same nonchalance as the blonde.
Buffy listened to their conversation from the kitchen. When she caught Giles’ amused eyes, she was hard pressed to keep her snickering silent. She had to give Spike credit; he was truly gifted at leading someone in the direction he wanted them to go.
“So, you and Red have been best mates for a long time?” Spike continued to keep the conversation light as he skimmed over the book he had been given to check.
“Yeah, since we were little. It started over a broken crayon,” Xander replied, chuckling at his memories.
Spike raised an eyebrow and smiled. "You two against the world, huh?”
“Uh huh, and Jesse of course.” Xander still appeared to be lost in his memories. He seemed sadder.
“Jesse?” Spike gently prompted.
“He was a friend. He got turned right after we met Buffy,” Xander replied sadly. His sadness soon turned to fury though. “By the same bitch that created Angelus.”
“Darla,” Spike said flatly, understanding completely what Xander’s problem was. “I should have dusted that diseased whore years ago,” he spat vehemently. Momentarily forgetting his mission, Spike allowed his own hatred of his great-grandsire to come to the fore.
Xander was thrown. He was so set in his disgust of demons that the idea that Spike seemed to feel the same as he did about something was freaking him out more than the concept that Spike could feel anything at all. He didn’t know how to react. Maybe Buffy was right. She’d told him earlier that Spike had made the decision to help them, but he hadn’t believed it for a minute. Now, he didn’t know what to think about any of it.
“You hate her too?” Xander asked cautiously.
“With a bloody passion,” Spike said emphatically. Memories of her absolute dismissal of him if it didn’t involve beatings or torture preyed heavily on his mind. Thoughts of Darla forced him to examine his own behaviour, especially where Xander was concerned. Stupid soul.
Sighing heavily, Spike addressed the problem head on. “I’m sorry.”
Xander stared at him, shocked. He shook his head as if trying to clear it. Stuck his finger in his ear, twisted and shook it around a bit. He had lived on the Hellmouth and he had thought he was immune to the surprises it could throw at him. Apparently not.
“Huh?”
Spike gave a short, self-deprecating laugh. He wasn’t surprised that his apology had received that reaction. It wasn’t like he’d ever really been nice to the boy.
“You're sorry? For what?” Xander asked, stunned.
“I may not be able to change the fact that I’m a demon or the fact that I’m related in some way to the bitch that hurt you so bad. I can’t change the fact that when I first came to Sunnydale, I was evil. I'm sorry for the all the stuff I put you through; the kidnapping, the knocking you about, the names and such. I had the same chance as you. I helped Buffy beat Angelus and could have been helping since then, but I didn't. Guess I was going through some kind of transitional period, trying to adjust and figure out what I was gonna do with my un-life. I guess it's sorta what you're going through now that your outta school, trying to find your place in the world.” Spike found it easy to combine his apology with the point of the conversation. He was a little surprised that he actually felt better about himself. He didn’t feel guilty for his actions prior to the soul, but he did regret that his actions had affected his chances for a friendship with the lad now. He found himself hoping that the damage was fixable.
“Wait,” Xander tried to gather himself by organizing his thoughts. “You helped Buffy against Angelus? When?”
“When she beat him and sent the bastard to hell.”
“What is it exactly that you think you did?” Xander asked incredulously.
Spike studied the boy. He had a sinking suspicion that Buffy had never told the scoobies about the truce. Turning his gaze to the guilty faced slayer in the kitchenette, Spike directed his statement at her. “Think you owe the whelp a bit of a story, Slayer.”
Buffy moved back into the living room and told them everything. They heard how Spike had saved her from being arrested. How the truce had been his suggestion. How he’d been honest with his motivation. How he had tried to help her in hiding her calling from her mother. How he’d fought at her side against the vampire that had attacked. How she had trusted his word and invited him into her house. How he had never betrayed that trust and that he still had an invitation that he had never taken advantage of. She told them that he had promised to keep Drusilla out of the fight and to leave town with her. She told them that he had kept his word.
“Why didn’t you ever say anything, Buffy?” Giles asked. He wondered if having this information would have allowed his relationship with the vampire to develop earlier.
“Stop right there, Rupert,” Spike said, interrupting the watcher’s musings. “My reasons for helping the Slayer were selfish. I wouldn’t have been trustworthy in any other situation. I wasn’t ready then.”
“It’s okay, Spike. It’s a valid question. I should have said something,” Buffy acknowledged.
Xander felt torn. He was having real trouble letting go of his natural inclination towards hatred of all things demonic, but inside he wanted to one day become a good man. Unlike his father. A good man would recognize the changes in the vampire that wanted to change his nature. A good man would be honest.
Xander faced them all, but directed his first comment to Spike. “You say you were being selfish, but you went against your family to save the woman you loved from Hell on Earth. You helped save the world because you like it. No offence, Buffy, but if I remember rightly you did it because it was your duty. You felt bound by your duty to act. Personally, I think that makes Spike’s decision the noble one. He did it because he wanted to, you did it for duty and so did Giles. I did it to score points with Buffy. I lied about what Willow said because I hated Angel almost as much as I hated Angelus, and Willow did it because she wanted to try the spell. Looks to me like Spike is the least one of us that should be calling his actions selfish.” Xander crossed is arms and waited. They would either accept what he was saying or they wouldn’t. Now was the time to find out. He briefly wondered if he would have had enough guts to say what he really thought if Spike hadn’t said he admired him, sadly he doubted that he would have.
Xander was right and Buffy and Giles both knew it. It seemed that they all needed to re-evaluate their motives.
“You’re right, Xan. We all need to take a good look at ourselves,” Buffy told him seriously. “What would we do without you?” she asked rhetorically. Xander position in her life kept Buffy grounded and she felt that it was time for him to get credit for that.
Xander grinned and bounced on the balls of his feet. “Lucky you, Buffster. You don’t have to find that out.”
Buffy and Spike shared a look with Giles when their bite marks started to tingle pleasantly. It looked like they had fixed another problem. They all joined in with Xander’s laughter.
~~~~~~~
“So what are we looking for?” Xander whispered as he and Spike hid in the bushes outside the entrance to Adams cave. Xander had insisted on accompanying the vampire without Buffy. He still felt a need to prove himself.
“That,” Spike whispered back, pointing at Riley as he stepped out of the shadows and made his way to the entrance. Stealthily following at a distance, Spike let out his senses. It wouldn’t do to get caught while he had the boy with him.
Xander knew to keep quiet. He had been told that the mission was important and that Spike needed to be able to hear what was being said. He was actually enjoying doing a little bit of field work with another male. He really hoped that if this went well, he’d get the chance to work with Spike again. He was still having a little trouble believing that Spike had chosen him to come on the mission rather than Buffy, but he sure wasn’t complaining.
Spike had panicked. Not that he was willing to admit that. When Buffy said she was tired and that they could investigate the hall monitor the next night, Spike had realised that tired meant bed and bed was with him and maybe it would be better if she was asleep when he got in. What with her being tired and all, and him being, well, not. His time would be better spent trying to find out what was going on with the idiot ex-boyfriend. It could mean more bonding time with Harris and that should please the Slayer, his friend; his very good friend that had accidentally kissed him earlier.
Hearing all that he needed from the conversation between Adam and Riley, Spike carefully nudged Xander to make his way out of the cave. They didn’t start talking until Spike decided they were far enough away from the cyborg that Xander was safe.
As they walked, they shared their reasons for their mutual hatred of Angel. Both were laughing so hard at one of Spikes stories that neither of them noticed the arrival of the subject of their derision until it was too late.
Spike was flat on his back with a stake at his chest before either of the two Sunnydale residents had the chance to move.
“How stupid are you, Harris? This is Spike. Master Vampire. You’re lucky to be ali—”
“So, how pissed is Buffy gonna be?” Xander asked Spike as he brushed the Angel dust off his hands.
~~~~~~~
Spike woke earlier than Buffy for once and looked down at the beautiful blond in his arms. She’d been asleep when he finally came back to the crypt and he had been careful not to disturb her. He had told himself it was because he was looking out for his friend who was tired. It had nothing to do with anything else. Nothing at all.
Carefully easing his way out of the bed, so as not to disturb her, he quickly donned his clothes and sat on the ladder to wait for her to wake.
Buffy slowly opened her eyes. Something was wrong. Confused at waking up alone, she groggily looked around the area in search of her mate.
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