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Chapter 15: My Heart Can’t Tell You No
The next few weeks went better than Spike could have hoped for. The gig at the Jolt was a complete success, and they were signed on to perform there twice a week now; the doctor said that he was getting healthier by the day and in no time he would be back to his normal self.
His and Buffy’s relationship was stronger than ever, and he knew that he was going to spend the rest of his life with her. She was so special to him that he couldn’t think of what his life would be like if he didn’t come back to California. She literally lit up his world. Made him see things that seemed so far away before he showed up on her doorstep.
There was a part of him that honestly didn’t think that he was going to make it through this struggle with his life. He was close to letting it take him the pain was so unbearable. But she was his reason to stay. He loved her too much to force her to go through all that hurt, just so he could be free…be at rest.
Buffy sat at her desk in her room, scribbling down words onto a piece of paper. The gang had asked if she wanted back in the band and she agreed willingly. She found singing and writing such a way of release…a way of being herself and letting go of trapped feelings and emotions.
Plus it gave her a chance to sing with Spike. Everybody in ‘Blood Lust’ thought that their voices would mesh well together and they were both down to give it a shot. But at the moment Buffy was writing something more for him personally than for others to hear. She wanted to Spike to be the only one to hear the words.
She would have loved to have sung them out to him in front of everyone…proving her love for him, like he did for her but, she wanted it to be more personal than anything…something that he knew was for him only.
‘…dreams we left…’
‘…within…reach…your love…’
The words were there in her mind all jumbled up, waiting to be sorted through, and written out. Frustrated, Buffy rubbed her hands over her face. Her and Spike were suppose to go to the Jolt with the band for a gig in about thirty minutes, and she hadn’t even gotten in a verse of this new song. She moved to the keyboard she had set up in the corner of her room, and figured out a tune for the song. She sat there for about twenty minutes fooling around with it until it matched the rhythm of the words.
She practiced the melody on the keyboard, and picked up on it quickly. Okay now that that’s out of the way, all I got to do is actually write the song.
Making a sound of frustration she tucked the lined pad of paper under her clothes in her dresser, Buffy moved to her closet to pick out an outfit. After rifling through her wardrobe, she decided on a blood red dress that fell just above her knee, and was rimed with two centimeters of black lace around the hem of the dress and the v-shaped neckline that plunged nicely, showing off her lightly bronzed skin.
After slipping it on, and finding the black strappy heels to match, Buffy walked her to her mirror and pinned one side of her golden tresses up with a clip letting the other half flow naturally.
Walking down the steps and into the living room, Buffy noticed Joyce and Spike sitting on the couch casually watching TV.
“…they didn’t last long though, a week or two at the most. It was like she just lost interest.” Joyce finished off with a smile.
“Who lost interest in what?” Buffy asked, leaning against the doorframe, with her arms crossed in front of her. She had a feeling it was about her, and it didn’t bother her much…just as long as it was nothing too embarrassing.
Spike looked up at her and let a dazzling smile take over his face. It still amazed her that she could make him so happy just by gracing him with her presence. “You look stunning, love.” Spike stood and gave her a light kiss on the lips.
She returned the smile, and took in his outfit. “Thanks…as do you kind sir.” She complemented back with a twinkle in her eyes. “So…” Buffy looked over Spike’s shoulder at her mother. “What kind of embarrassing things are you spouting off to my boyfriend? Hm?” she asked with a raised brow and a knowing smile.
“She was just tellin me how none of your past boyfriends lasted longer than a week. That you just seemed to lose interest. I must be special cause I’m still here.” He stated with a smirk that still made her weak in the knees. Buffy couldn’t hide the blush that crept up her cheeks.
Joyce stood from the couch, and quietly slipped into the kitchen, without disturbing the blonde couple.
After a seemingly long make-out session, Buffy pulled away, with a giddy smile. “We better go. Big gig and all.”
“Can’t we just skip it and say we got sick or something?” Spike tried.
“Uh-uh.” She replied with a shake of her head.
“Damn.”
* * * * *
Buffy and Spike entered through the back of the club, and met up with the rest of the band, who were starting to set up back stage.
“Hey guys…you ready?” Buffy asked with an excited hop.
“Never been more ready in my life.” Gunn replied.
“Well…we better get up there. The MC’s about to do our intro.” Spike stated, hugging Buffy closer to him.
After they took their places on stage, the MC stepped on the stage as well, and stood in front of his own mic. “Hey, how’s everybody doin tonight?” after a round of applause, he continued. “Alright tonight I’d like to welcome back a great band to the Jolt. Now we’re gunna take it back to the 90’s tonight with an old classic with Buffy Summers and Spike Giles on vocals. Please give a round of applause for ‘Bloodlust’!” The whole club cheered, as Xander and Oz played the first cords of the song, and Gunn, started up the beat.
Spike held onto his mic that was on the stand and sand out the first verse; his voice enchanting every single woman in the room.
I don’t want you
To come round here no more
I beg you for mercy
You don’t know how strong
My weakness is
Or how much it hurts me
Cause when you said it over with him
I want to believe its true
So I let you in knowing tomorrow
I’m gonna wake up missing you
Wake up missing you
Buffy sang out the chorus next, in her sweet angelic-like voice. She looked over at Spike with a smile on her face, selling the song to the crowd.
When the one you loves
In love with someone else
Don’t you know its torture
I mean its a living hell
No matter how I try to convince myself
This time I wont lose control
One look in your blue eyes
And suddenly my heart cant tell you no
Xander, Oz and Gunn took the interlude, playing out the pause between the verses. Buffy and Spike blended their voices together for the next verse, cause a beautiful range of vocals to fill the room. In Spike’s thoughts, Buffy never looked more gorgeous than when she was singing.
I don’t want you
To call me up no more
Saying you need me
You’re crazy if you think
Just half your love
Could ever please me
Still I want to hold you, touch you
When you look at me that way
There’s only one solution I know
You gotta stay away from me
Stay away from me
Spike soon went on again to do another solo, looking at Buffy intensely from his position on stage. These were the moments he cherished. Singing was something he loved, and so was Buffy…so having both of those things together, put him in the happiest of moods.
When the one you loves
In love with someone else
Don’t you know its torture
I mean its a living hell
No matter how I try to convince myself
This time I wont lose control
One look in your sad eyes
And suddenly my heart cant tell you no
My heart cant tell you no
The petite blonde finally sang out her last and favorite solo, looking over at her boyfriend. Instead of belting out, Buffy sang sweetly and softly, her voice light as it floated through the room.
I don’t want you
To come round here no more
I beg you for mercy
You don’t know how strong
My weakness is
Or how much it hurts me
Cause when you say its over with her
I want to believe its true
So I let you in knowing tomorrow
I’m gonna wake up missing you
Wake up missing you
The two belted out the last lines of the song; putting all the passion they had for singing, and for each other into the words until the music stopped.
When the one you loves
In love with someone else
Don’t you know its torture
I mean its a living hell, a living hell
When the one you loves
In love with someone else
Don’t you know its torture
I mean its a living hell, a living hell
The crowd cheering and screamed for the band, after the song ended, and the smiles on the band’s faces was enough to show they were proud of their performance.
The blondes called a thank you to the people in the club and exited the stage happily.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
It was late last night when i was at my friends house looking for the washroom. It was dark and i somehow ended up in the basement. Once i got down there i heard creaking. So i followed the sound and i ended up in a dark cold room. So i flick on the light and there i see Joss Whedon sitting on a wooden rocking chair. I screamed, then he screamed, then we both screamed. "You follow me everywhere!" i said..."Well if you give me back Spike i wouldn't have too." he replied..."Fine, but only because this is really starting to get creepy. How did you get in anyway?" i asked..."Oh window's open." "Oh." So i take Joss up the stairs to the computer room, and Spike is sitting at the computer reading fanfiction. "Do people really think i can bend that way?" he asks me. "it's possible. Anyways Joss isn't going to stop creeping me out until i give you back to him." so i start crying and inbetween the first tear and the countless other that followed, Joss and Spike left me to wollow in dispair....i need to stop doing drugs.....hahah just kidding i love them too much! *wink wink*