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I hadn’t dreamt since the dreams I had of Spike. But I hadn’t dreamt of Sunnydale much since we had left. The people, sure, but not the town itself, per say. As I walked, my memories threatened to get the better of me. There was the Bronze. God, how much time had I spent in there over the years? I passed Restfield Cemetery and the high school, which in my dream had been returned to its former glory. My feet automatically turned toward The Magic Box. I walked through the door and everything looked as it had before Darth Willow, as I had named her in my head but never said aloud, had destroyed it. Tears sprang to my eyes as I saw the woman standing at the counter, although I wasn’t sure she had ever really been there in life.

“Mom?” I whispered.

She smiled at me and with a strangled cry, I ran to her, crushing her against me in a hug. She felt the same as she always had, even smelled the same. I pulled away and she smiled down at me. Then she spoke.

“It’s wonderful to see you, sweetheart. If you want to sit down with your guide, we’re still waiting for my charge.”

“My guide?” I said as I turned in the direction my mother had indicated. I smiled at the sight before me. “I shouldn’t be surprised. You’ve been my guide before.”

“Couldn’t switch on you now. That wouldn’t be right.” The small smile on her face warmed my heart. I didn’t realize just how much I loved her until she was gone.

“Tara.” I hugged her as I went around back to sit down on the bench next to her. Seated at the table. It made me nostalgic. “Who are we waiting for?”

Tara nodded toward the opening shop door. A bookcase blocked my view and I leaned across the table to see. Then I realized I didn’t need my eyes to know who it was. The sound of the footsteps and the feeling up my spine were a bundle of tells as my lover clomped into the room.

“Slayer, am I in your dream?” Then his gaze fell on my mother. “Mum?” he asked softly, his voice breaking. She moved to embrace him. After a few moments, she steered him toward the table and sat him down. In all the times I had seen Spike here at the Magic Box, I had never seen him at the table. He had always sat on the counter, the stairs to the loft or just wandered about the store. We had never bothered to make him feel welcome, never made him feel like part of the Scoobies. He had only wanted to feel like he belonged, and we had never given him that. We were fools.

“So this is a Slayer type dream?” I asked.

My mother nodded. “Spike is now included since you two are eternally mated.” She smiled and winked at Spike. “Congrats.”

“So this isn’t going to be one of those horrible cryptic-warnings-that-take-me-a-week-to-figure-out-and-then-whatever-I-was-supposed-to-know-has-already-happened dreams?”

Tara smiled shyly at me. “Not this time. The message is too important. And long. It would take a very long tome to be cryptic about this. Would you like to begin Mrs. Summers?”

My mother smiled at the shy blonde and then turned back to us. “This is not only going to be hard to accept, but it’s going to be hard for me to even tell you. You’ll just have to listen to the whole thing before you jump to any conclusions or have any outbursts. Let’s just say, Buffy, that you never had the dreams about Spike and he never called to tell you he was alive. Do you know what would have happened?”

She paused and looked at me. I shrugged. I didn’t understand where this was going. Luckily, she just went on.

“Well, we do. Because it happened and a few months later, Angel instigated a battle that ended your world. That wasn’t how it was supposed to go, so the Powers rewound time back to the point where Spike was released from the amulet and sent you the dreams, Buffy. And since I know you,” she smiled softly at me, “I know you will want to know what happened in the other time.” She nodded to Tara.

“Buffy, before time was taken back you…well…how do I say this? Your depression was so great in the weeks after moving to London, without the dreams, you lost all hope. You crawled so far into yourself only Dawnie could reach you, and even then, you just weren’t you anymore. You took to wandering at night around London and one night, Dawn followed you.“ She fell silent and looked at my mom.

My mother continued the painful explanation. “Dawn was attacked, and you didn’t make it to her in time.” Tears slid down my face as she continued. “You lost what little will you had to live after that. You left London, wandering around Europe, mostly on foot until you reached Paris where you found an old enemy. Drusilla.”

Spike’s eyes widened comically and he turned to stare at me.

Tara took up the tale again. “You saw her in the lobby of a hotel as you walked by. There was something about her that drew you in. She reminded you of Spike so you…” She trailed off, averting her gaze to the floor.

“I what? Killed her?” I ventured. “Became her lover? Made her my new albeit crazy best friend?” Then it came to me. “I let her kill me,” I said softly.

Tara nodded sadly and I gave a melancholy chuckle. I nodded. “The worst part of this, other than knowing it did happen, is that it was happening already. I was wandering around London all night, alone…more often than not drunk. I was already retreating into myself.” I looked between the two guides. “I’m sorry. Please continue.”

“Giles notified Angel,” my mom continued, “And his grief, although he told no one else about your death, even Spike, was what led him to start a war with the senior partners. They unleashed a plethora of monsters onto this plane that Angel took on with two warriors, a fatally wounded human and himself. Everyone else on his team had already perished. Angel and the human were taken out in the first wave, and the two warriors went down a few hours after that. But now that you two are together, all that changes.”

“Well, mostly.” Tara said softly.

“What do you mean, Glinda?” Spike questioned.

“Angel will still start a war, just for a different reason. Jealousy. After watching you and Spike interact, he finally realizes that you have moved on and he starts a war to prove that he is a champion too.” Pompous ass. “And the horrible part for you,” Tara went on, “Is that you have to let him.”

“What? No!” Spike and I exploded at the same time. How could we just sit back and let something of this magnitude happen?

“Actually, you’ll be forced to make a series of choices,” my mother told us. “You could stake Angel now, and none of this would happen, or you can help him pick a fight.” My mate and I stared at her, dumbfounded.

“You see,” Tara said, “if you help Angel, you’ll get to take out a very dangerous group, thus potentially saving thousands of lives. And in the battle with the minions of the senior partners, once you defeat the third wave, if you can, you will be offered a choice. This one, if done right, could mend broken hearts and bring happiness to some very deserving people.”

“Well,” I scoffed, “I see we’ve moved on to the cryptic. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that neither of you are going to tell us what the choice will be and how to mend said hearts.”

The guides shook their heads simultaneously. Spike and I looked at each other, pained.

“We still have time, though, yeah? ‘Cause the Slayer and I have plans to go on holiday and it would be just like the blood wanker to bollocks up our plans.” My mother raised her eyebrows at him. He looked sheepish. “Sorry, mum.”

She smiled kindly at him. “It’s okay, dear. No, you have plenty of time to celebrate Christmas. You have a month or so before things get serious.” She laid a hand over mine. “I’m glad you’re doing something for Christmas. Dawn has been ready.”

I nodded slowly. “I know, but I haven’t been. After you died and I died and came back, I just didn’t want to, didn’t care really. Last year, well…dozens more people in the house, First evil, and no time. And I was heartbroken.” I felt a wave of confusion from Spike and saw the looks of understanding from the two women. I looked at my loving vampire. “You see, my pride and my fear allowed me to rob myself of a wonderful man who loved me dearly. Christmas would have just enforced that I was there without…being with him the way I wanted. To much need for forced cheer. But now…everything is different. I have something to celebrate again.” I winked at him and sent reassuring vibes through our bond.

“Have we given you two enough to think about?” Tara smiled slyly at us. We both nodded slowly. “Alright then.”





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