Chapter 10
When the group had left and Buffy had dragged the sarcophagus over to the door again, she finally took a good look at the still-unconscious vampire. She could see the bruises, bites, and scratches from his fight with Adam’s minions. She could also see the edges of his broken ribs pushing through the skin on his chest. She knew, from Riley’s description of him, that there were other broken bones hidden by his jeans.
In spite of the drugged blood that he had been given at the Initiative, very little healing had actually taken place; no doubt due to the additional trauma of having the top of his skull opened and his brain poked and prodded. The incision of the top of his head still oozed slightly around the hasty stitches that the doctor had taken to close the wound.
Buffy sank down beside the battered vampire and allowed tears to flow down her cheeks for the first time since they found him.
“Oh, Spike,” she murmured, as laid her cheek next to his. “I’m going to make it better, baby. I promise.”
Clearly there was no way the comatose vampire was going to be able to drink from her through a bite, so Buffy searched the crypt until she located a knife that looked sharp enough to do what she needed it to. Sitting as close to Spike as she could get, she gritted her teeth and ran the knife across her wrist. She pressed the now-bleeding wrist over his mouth and verbally encouraged him to drink.
“Come on, Spike, Slayer blood. Take it, please. You know how good it made you feel the last time.......Made you fight like a....like a champion. Take it now and get better. For me. Please?”
As she spoke, she was prying his lips open and dripping blood into his mouth and onto his tongue. Without opening his eyes or giving any sign that he was aware of what was going on, the vampire growled and fastened his mouth on her wrist.
As soon as she felt him sucking hard, Buffy relaxed and let her self sink down beside him on the bed, careful to keep her arm where he could reach it. She was surprised to find there was no pain, and in fact, she was feeling a pleasantly euphoric sensation that extended to parts of her body not at all connected to her wrist.
When she felt herself getting light-headed, she remembered that he had already drunk from her once in the last 24 hours and realized she probably wasn’t back to 100% herself. Reluctantly, she sat up and got ready to pull her arm away from his mouth. To her surprise, he let go the instant she moved and when she looked at him, he was staring at her in awe and adoration. The intensity of the devotion in those incredible blue eyes was so strong that she almost flinched. Instead, she smiled at him and said softly, “Welcome back. I thought you were going to sleep all day.”
“Feel like I already have,” he smiled back at her. “Amazing stuff, your blood. A bloke could grow addicted to it.”
She flushed and looked away, “Yeah, well don’t think it’s gonna become a habit. ‘Cause that would mean you were getting hurt all the time and I...” She looked back at him with complete honesty, “and I think I’ve seen all of that I want to for a long time.”
“Me too, pet. Me too,” he sighed and pulled her back down beside him. “So, Slayer, what did I sleep through?”
Buffy snuggled up beside him and rested her head on his chest. She tried to surreptitiously check his ribs for healing, but he felt what she was doing and stopped her hand gently.
“They’re healing, love. I can feel them knittin’ themselves back together. Jus’ need a little more time and maybe more blood.”
“Oh!” Buffy jumped up quickly, then fell back against him when dizziness caused her to almost black out.
“Easy, love.” He rumbled with concern. “I been takin’ too much out of you recently for you to be leaping around like that. Stay put for a while.”
“No,” she insisted as she sat up again more slowly. “I’ll be all right. I need to get to the cooler and get you some more blood, and some water or something for me. We need to get ourselves back up to speed as soon as we can.”
Moving much more slowly, she stood up, stretched and walked to the cooler where Spike had been keeping his bagged blood and the goodies he had bought for her. She took out several bags of O Neg, and several bottles of water and the chocolates.
He watched her walk back to the bed with her supplies and knew he was hopelessly hers forever. When she presented her throat to him in Adam’s lair, he was humbled by the trust she was showing him and he blurted out his feelings, thinking he was probably going to be dust before she got home. He knew the gift was only because it was necessary to give them time for the escape attempt, but his heart had rejoiced all the same.
To wake up and find her again sharing her powerful blood with him; this time for no other reason than to help him heal..... The poet in him struggled to find words to express how completely he was hers to do with as she wished. His demon, on the other hand, was demanding he claim her. That he make that incredible blood and the woman it came from his forever. He fought to push the demon back, knowing his place was as her willing slave – not her partner.
Completely oblivious to the thoughts going through the vampire’s head, Buffy sat back down and shyly handed Spike the bags of blood.
“I don’t think I can give you any more right no-“ She was interrupted by the vampire’s “Bloody hell, woman!”
She blinked at him in surprise and hurt. “I...I’m sorry. I just don’t think....”
(Is he mad at me because I don’t have any more Slayer blood to spare? Who the hell does he think he is?)
He could see the anger replacing the concern on her face and hastily completed his thought.
“I meant, you silly bint, that you’ve already given me more than you should have. For god’s sake, Buffy, don’t be apologizing to me because you can’t let me drain you! You’ve already done more for me than I have any right to expect. More than I deserve....”
As quickly as it had risen, Buffy’s anger dissipated. “You saved us all, Spike. You could have...died.” She allowed him to see in her eyes exactly how she would have felt if that had happened. “You deserve whatever you need to recover from it. And if that means more of my blood, then more of my blood is what you get.”
He looked into her expressive green eyes and tried to control the hope he was feeling at what he thought he saw there.
(Don’t read too much into, mate. She’s just feeling grateful and her sense of fairness is making her do and say things she doesn’t really -)
His internal scolding was interrupted by Buffy’s soft, warm lips as they met his and she murmured against his mouth. “I thought you were....gone. I don’t ever want to feel like that again. Promise me you won’t every leave me. Promise me.”
He groaned and folded her in his arms, ignoring the pain in his ribs. “I will never leave you, my love. I’m here for as long as you want me to be. Nothing could make me leave you now.” He buried his face in her neck, licking the wounds from his bite the day before. Again, his demon was screaming for him to claim her and his inner poet was begging him to grovel at her feet.
When Spike’s tongue went across the almost healed bites on her neck, she felt the tingle all the way down to her toes.
(How can a lick feel that good? Makes me want to.....No! Bad Slayer thoughts. I do NOT want him to bite me again. That would be very wrong, and bad, and.....really, really hot. Gah! Not thinking that! Not, not, not!)
Spike felt her heart rate go up and her body tense slightly. He immediately stopped licking, but couldn’t resist smiling when he heard her whimper softly at the loss of his tongue on her neck.
“What’s wrong, love? I’m not goin’ to bite you again. I promise.”
Buffy buried her blushing face in his neck and mumbled, “That’s what’s wrong. I think I want you to! Something must be very wrong with me!”
Spike brought her chin up so he could look into her eyes. His hand was trembling as he lightly held her face up.
“It’s the bite, love. My demon wants to claim you and you’re feeling those affects through the bite. ‘S my fault. When I bit you, I was thinkin’....” He paused, wondering if she remembered or had even heard what he said as he finished drinking from her in the cave.
She looked at him with sudden understanding. “You were thinking...you said.....” She couldn’t finish, but Spike did it for her.
“I was thinking jus’ what I said. I was thinking I love you – more than anything in the world. That I would die for you if I had to. That’s so close to a claiming, my demon must have started to feel it. And he’s making you feel it,” he added softly. “I’m sorry, love. I think it’ll fade away as long as we don’t –“
She met his eyes steadily and stated firmly, “We won’t. Now. But someday we will. If your – if you still want to.” She ducked her head shyly and missed the look of complete and utter joy that crossed his expressive face.
When he could finally speak coherently, he pulled her into his chest again and whispered against her hair, “I will always want to, love. Never doubt that. But it doesn’t have to happen. Don’t ever think that it does. I’m yours forever.”
He held her gently for several minutes, then realized she was falling asleep. Shaking her gently, he tried to get her to sit up and drink the water she brought over.
“Com’n, Slayer,” he coaxed. “No sleeping until you’ve put all that liquid back. See, I’m drinking my blood right now.” He sounded almost like a parent trying to get a child to eat.
Buffy sat up long enough to drain both bottles of water, then snuggled back into his side and pulled the quilt up around them.
“Sleep now,” she mumbled against his neck. “Kill Adam later.”
The vampire’s eyes drifted shut as he joined her in the healing sleep they both needed. “A’right, pet. Sleep now. Kill later.”
The next time either of them awoke, Spike’s vampire senses told him it was late afternoon. He tried to read his body without actually moving it and disturbing the fragile-looking girl sleeping in his arms. He could tell the bones were knitted and healed, and most of the cuts had closed up. He gingerly felt the top of his head and wondered briefly how he got so injured up there. He frowned slightly as he felt the stitches and looked down at the sleeping Slayer.
The slight movements he’d been making were enough to interrupt Buffy’s dreamless slumber and she stirred and stretched before turning to smile up at him.
“Hey,” she said softly when she met his soft gaze.
“Hey yourself, pet,” he smiled down at her. “How do you feel?”
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? You’re the one that was all beat up. All I did was donate a little blo-“
She was interrupted by his, “All you did was everything. It was everything.”
Buffy blushed and changed the subject. “So, bones all back together? Wounds healed? Head....” She stopped, remembering that he didn’t know what had almost happened to him.
“Uh, yeah, about my head....” he looked at her and raised an eyebrow.
“Do you remember anything after we....left the cave?”
“Remember one helluva fight.” His eyes lit up briefly as he thought back to his one-man war in Adam’s lair. “Think I might a’ lost it though.”
“You think?” she snarked at him. “Do you remember anything else?”
“I dunno. Think I remember fightin’ with Capt’n Cardboard and his toy soldiers, but I guess I was just dreamin’ and wishin’. Know they weren’t there.”
Buffy sighed and proceeded to fill him in on what had happened to him and what was about to happen when they found him. He seemed more disturbed at the thought that he’d killed two of the commandos than he was at his close call with the behavior modification chip. He studied Buffy’s face as he asked carefully, “So, I killed two of those military wankers......”
He waited for her to tell him how wrong it was of him to kill humans, but to his surprise she just muttered, “I told them to leave you alone. Stupid soldiers.”
“So you’re OK with that? That I killed two humans?”
“Well, I’m not feeling real cheerful about it,” she allowed. “But they WERE soldiers, and they were trying to cage you, and you didn’t eat them – so it was self-defense. Not slay-worthy,” she finished, smiling up at him.
He just shook his head. “You continue to amaze me, love.”
Buffy blushed and ducked her head shyly. Somehow all the things that were so bothersome to her watcher felt so right when she was around Spike. She knew that Giles, at least when he was feeling Ripperish, was okay with violence towards humans when necessary. But she also knew that he would see no gray areas when it came to a vampire killing humans whatever the reason. She wasn’t looking forward to the conversation she knew they were going to have once Adam was defeated.
Sighing slightly, she put it out of her mind for the time being and simply asked, “How do you feel? Do you think you’re ready to go with me to Giles’ apartment and talk strategy?”
“Yeah, I’m workin’ on being fine. Let’s go kill things.”
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