She felt a ball of nervousness form in her chest and tried her best to breath it away. It wasn’t often she felt anxious. She was usually concentrated and relaxed, set on doing her best in any circumstance. Panicking, being aggressive and wound-up never helped, it only made things worse.
But Ruby just couldn’t shake the thought of Angel going to meet that girl, Buffy, who he hadn’t seen in such a long time. He hadn’t kept anything from Ruby, had been completely honest – he and Buffy had been lovers, and despite their separation, his feelings for her had never completely subsided… until recently, when he and Ruby had met.
“There’s nothing left between us,” he’d told her that evening before leaving. “We’re friends, that’s all, and we fight for the same cause. You have nothing to worry about, my darling, I promise.”
Did she? She trusted Angel with all her heart, but every man had his weakness, and vampires were no exceptions. Perhaps he would change his mind when he saw Buffy… Ruby knew better than anyone else the power memories could have on someone. And though she was a experienced Midwife, well-learned in the art of meditation and self-control, she was first and above all a woman, very much in love with the man of her life. Losing him was not an option.
She left the kitchen, looking for her shoes, and saw Spike sitting on the sofa, deep in thought. If anything, he wasn’t much trouble as a guest – he’d hardly left his room in the last two days, had ate next to nothing, and politely refrained from smoking in the rest of the apartment. But his state worried her – she could feel he was in pain, and it unsettled her.
“Spike, are you okay?” she said.
He looked at her and gave her a tight smile. “I’ll be fine, Ruby. Don’t worry about me.”
“Do you have any plans for tonight?” she asked. “I think it would do you some good to go out.”
“No, I was planning on staying here, and…” His voice trailed off, as if he didn’t know what to say.
Ruby walked up to him. “Turn around,” she requested in a soft voice.
Spike looked up at her curiously, but did as he was told, and shifted on the couch to face the wall. Ruby placed her hands on his shoulders, frowning at the bundle of constricted muscles she felt there. She closed her eyes and slipped her thumbs just under his collar, pressing his skin.
“Spike, you need to go out,” she said quietly. “You’re trying to bundle yourself up, but it’s not doing any good.”
Spike exhaled deeply but said nothing. She tried to feel something coming from him through her hands, but everything was guarded, and angry. Something inside was resisting with all its might to the soothing energy of her hands.
“What’s so terrible that a vampire should fear facing the night?” she murmured. “He should face it, and fight it.”
Spike nodded slowly. She felt a tingle of something pass through her fingers – a spark of terrible longing, quickly pushed back down. But she had had enough time to recognize what it was.
“Ah, this is it. This is it. But staying here only one more prison, Spike. You know that.”
Again, he nodded. After awhile, she slowly lifted her hands and backed away from him.
“Thanks,” he said, looking a bit dazed. “I feel a little better now, I – I think I really should go out.”
Ruby gave him a warm smile. “An excellent idea. There’s some dinner on the counter too, if you want some. Sheep’s blood and broccolis.”
Spike nodded and raked his hands through his hair. Sensing that it was better to leave him alone now, Ruby put her coat on and left, quietly closing the door behind her.
The Chavaz was crowded with people, and Dawn sipped her margarita, watching Juliet dance with a cute guy not far away from their table. The music was mostly salsa, samba and the likes, and everyone seemed to be having a good time. Dawn smiled – it had been awhile since she’d felt so carefree.
The song ended and Juliet smiled at her partner, then walked back to their table.
“Wow, that was a blast,” she said, breathless. “Are you sure you don’t want to dance?”
“No, I’m not much of a dancer at all. This place is great, though.”
“Yeah, it’s nice. They have live bands on Saturday nights. And the drinks are pretty cheap too.” She winked at Dawn and raised her hand at the waiter.
“Jules, I think I should get home soon,” Dawn said. It was nearly eleven o’clock.
“Okay, but let’s just have another round before we go,” Juliet insisted.
By the time they had finished their drinks, Dawn was feeling a bit dizzy. It was definitely time to leave.
As they made their way towards the door, the young man Juliet had been dancing with, who as sitting at a table with two friends, called out to her.
“Hey, baby, can we buy you and your friend a drink?”
“No, thanks,” Juliet replied, grinning. “Maybe some other time – we were just leaving.”
“So early? Come on, have a drink with us,” his friend said.
“Sorry, guys, but we’re off.”
Juliet had to go to the ladies’ room before leaving. While she waited for her, Dawn noticed with a pang of discomfort that the three guys were also getting ready to leave. Just then, she spotted Juliet leaving the ladies’ room and rushed over to her.
“Come on, Jules, let’s go,” she said hurriedly, glancing over her shoulder as they walked out the door.
The two girls weren’t even around the corner when they realized they were being followed by the men from the club.
“Hey, girls, we are you going?” one of them said loudly.
“Just ignore them,” Juliet said, clutching Dawn’s arm and walking a bit faster.
“Don’t run off, we won’t bite – we just want a good time.”
The three of them laughed idiotically, like it was the best trick anyone had ever pulled. They were catching up. Dawn decided that she had had enough – she wasn’t going to let a bunch of jerks intimidate her when she had faced demons twice their size. She stopped and turned around.
“Listen, you freaks, we’re going home, and we don’t want any of your time, so just leave us alone!”
“Whoa, you’re a feisty one, aren’t you?” one of them said, pretending to back away.
“We don’t have no problem with you going home – why don’t you invite us up?”
“Not on your life,” Juliet spat. “Fuck off!”
“No, I don’t think we will,” her dancing partner replied, grabbing her by the wrist. “Not until you finish what you started on the dance floor, you little tease.”
Juliet struggled against him, and Dawn tried to push him back, but drinking cocktails on an empty stomach had made her weak, and there were also his friends to contend with.
“Let her go,” she cried, but the other two blocked her away against the wall. “Let her go! HELP!”
Spike was careful to stay as far away from the museum district as possible – if there was one thing he wanted to avoid, it was seeing Buffy and Angel walk hand in hand in the moonlight after one of Buffy’s warm “hellos”.
At least I won’t be the only one raising hell if that happens, he thought bitterly as an image of Ruby popped in his mind. She had done exactly what Angel had described – she had tried to reach in and take out what hurt. But she was hurting too, and it flowed from her fingers down to his spine. It was the most bizarre impression he had ever felt.
Bloody poof. I just can’t understand what women see in him. Acting like some sort of perpetual martyr just because he’s got a soul – bite me. You don’t see me whining about it all the time…
Not really knowing where he was going, Spike looked around him for any building that might look empty and abandoned. What he needed most of all was a place of his own.
A couple of block further, he stumbled upon a small square and what looked like a very old chapel. The brass plaque on it read, “Our Lady of Guadalupe”. Around the square were a couple of old-fashioned houses, many of which were being renovated, a construction sign said, because they no longer met regulations against earthquakes.
Spike smiled. This sounded like the perfect place – and if he’d have to kick out a few vampires to move in, he would be happy to oblige.
A bit cheered up by this prospect, Spike continued to walk along the streets. He came to a more modern part of town, where the avenues were large and the sidewalk deserted. Across the street from him, he saw a couple of restaurants, and the neon sign of a latino bar – the “Chavaz”.
“That doesn’t even mean anything,” he grumbled to himself, pausing at its level. Maybe he should’ve stayed in Mexico with Clem and the kittens.
He started to walk away, hands stuffed in the pockets on his overcoat, when he heard a women scream, “Help!”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, not tonight,” he growled, determined to ignore it. It was probably just another bunch of kiddies joking around.
The cry came again. A cry for help, followed by something Spike couldn’t quite make out.
“Oh no you don’t,” he told himself sternly. “You want to keep a low profile – you mind your own business.”
But his legs wouldn’t move, and his eyes instinctively started darting around, trying to spot where the cry was coming from. Finally, he saw them, half-hidden in a side-alley. Two blokes pinning a girl against a wall, and another one man-handling a pretty blonde teenager who was trying to get away.
Spike shook his head at his own stupidity and bounded across the street.
“Hey, mate,” he called out to the one who had the girl by the wrist. “How about you fight with me instead?”
The man barely had time to turn around before a punch landed straight in his face, throwing him back several feet.
“Hit the road, sweetheart,” he told the blonde girl, who started to run away, but then turned around.
“Dawn!” she cried out.
Spike had taken the other two by the collar, ready to bang their thick skulls together, when he heard the name, and saw the face of the girl who was pined against the wall, and a pair of familiar blue eyes, open wide and looking back at him in horror and disbelief.
“Bloody hell!”
The one of the two took advantage of this distraction and kicked Spike in the stomach. Furious, he let his vampire face surface, and, growling, hit the man violently across the jaw.
“Juliet, run!” Dawn yelled. “Go!”
Juliet disappeared around the corner, and soon, the three boys were stumbling in the opposite direction, terrorized and beaten, making haste to escape the monster that had come out of nowhere.
Spike watched them, returning to his normal self, knowing that as soon as he turned his gaze the other way it would land on Dawn, the girl he’d come to consider almost as his little sister, and who, until a minute ago, thought he was dead.
Not feeling ready to face her yet, he cast his eyes down, only to find a stake positioned on his chest.
“If you make a move, I will kill you.”
Spike looked up at her. Tears were welling in her eyes, and he could see she wasn't kidding.
“I don’t know who you are, or how you took on Spike’s appearance, but -”
“Dawn, it’s me,” he said. “I swear - ”
“Shut up! Spike is dead – you can’t be him!”
“Well, if you don’t know me, nibblet, I certainly know you,” he said patiently. “You’re a cosmic key in the shape of a charming young lady, you were a klepto for awhile – too bad you didn’t stay that way, I thought it was rather fun - and the first boy you kissed was a vampire. You’re always getting into trouble, and I’m always saving your arse. Now do you believe me?”
Trembling, Dawn let the stake down, a tear streaming down her cheek. “Oh God… Spike… it really is you.”
She brought her hand to her mouth, and a sob shook her shoulders. “I thought – I thought -”
Spike patted the top of her head, then pulled her into a hug. “Come on, nibblet, don’t cry. A natural mistake.”