“No.” Buffy shook her head in denial, taking a step back.
“Buffy, wait.” For the last two months, Spike had desperately tried to forget the night that had started out so well, but then had turned out to be the worst night of his life. He’d almost managed to, but now it all came back to him. He watched in despair how Buffy stepped away from him. “Buffy, I didn’t do it!”
Buffy looked confused. “You just said…”
Spike sighed. “It’s true that I got reported. But I never…” He let out a bitter laugh. “Bloody hell! I don’t expect you to believe me. Why should you? No one else did.”
Suddenly not knowing what to think, Buffy stopped backing away, but remained were she was. She wanted to believe Spike, she really did, but this was a bit too much information to take in. She swallowed. “What do you mean?”
“If I tell you, will you listen?” She nodded, much to his relief. “Right. Okay…” Spike started pacing the room, suddenly not sure of how to begin. This was one part of his life that he didn’t want Buffy to know about, but now it looked like he had no choice but to tell her. It was either that, or losing her.
He sighed. “It was almost two months ago, when I was out with the guys at the Bronze. I was sitting in the bar, when this bird walked up to me.”
“Hi, I’m Darla.”
“Spike.”
“Nice to meet you, Spike. Will you buy me a drink?”
“Sure.”
Spike had stopped pacing and sat down at the bed. Buffy took a step towards him, but remained standing. “What happened? You brought her home?”
“No, we…” Spike hesitated. He had never really been proud of how many girls he’d been with over the years, but he’d also never been truly ashamed of anything he’d done. Except for what he was now about to tell Buffy.
Realizing that this was obviously hard for him, Buffy finally stepped over to the bed and sat down next to him. “Sorry. I’ll stop interrupting, go on.”
He didn’t really want to, but did so anyway. “Right. After a couple of drinks, we decided to step outside… for some fresh air.”
“You sure of this, luv?”
“Oh yes. Yes! Over there, take me against the wall!”
“So tight, pet! Love the way you… ugh!”
“Mm... God! Fuck me harder!”
Spike looked away, not wanting to see the disgusted look in Buffy’s eyes. “We had just… finished, when this guy showed up. Her boyfriend.”
“Darla? What the hell are you doing?!”
“Lindsey? I…”
“You bitch! I leave your side for twenty minutes and you run off to fuck someone else?!”
“No… no! I… Lindsey, thank God you’re here! I didn’t want to, I swear! He forced me to do it, he raped me!”
Buffy gasped, suddenly feeling nauseous. “Oh God. Spike…” She reached out for him then, but he pulled away and got up before she could touch him.
“The guy called the cops. I spent the rest of the night at the police station, trying to explain that I didn’t rape her. It was obvious that they didn’t believe me, but it was my words against Darla's, and the bloke hadn’t actually seen me hurting her, so they had to let me go.”
“I’m telling you, officer, I didn’t bloody rape her!”
“Shut up! It makes me sick to let you get away with this, but unfortunately there’s nothing more I can do to hold you here. Now, get the hell out of here!”
Buffy got up as well and walked over to him. “I’m so sorry.”
Spike went on, like he hadn’t heard her. “Think she left town after that, haven’t seen her since that night.” He looked at Buffy then, a desperate look in his eyes. “I didn’t do it, Buffy. I’d never do something like that, you have to believe me!”
Placing her hand gently on his arm, Buffy looked him straight in the eyes. “Of course I believe you.”
Spike’s eyes widened, and he stared at her in disbelief. “You believe me? Just like that, you’re just gonna take my word for it? Are you daft?!”
Buffy rolled her eyes, then took his hand and led him back to sit on the bed. “Spike, you’re a good man. If you say you didn’t do it, then yes, I believe you. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him close.
Letting out a shaky breath, Spike finally relaxed and laid his head down to rest on her shoulder. He didn’t cry, but the tears were close. “Buffy…”
“Shh… it’s all right.” She waited patiently while he struggled to get his emotions under control. After a couple of minutes – or it could have been hours; she’d lost track of the time – Buffy finally pulled back. “You okay?”
He nodded, trying to smile, but it came out more like a grimace. “Yeah, m’fine. Thanks for believing me.”
She looked him in the eyes, a dead serious expression on her face. “I’ll always believe in you.”
Feeling tears well up in his eyes at her declaration, Spike quickly leaned in to kiss her, not wanting her to see him blubbering like a nancy-boy. He was relieved when he heard her letting out a relieved sigh before happily returning the kiss.
They just sat there for a while, clinging to each other and kissing, neither wanting to let the other go. Then Buffy – still with her arms around him – slid down so they were both lying on the bed.
Still kissing each other, almost desperately, Buffy suddenly froze, feeling something hard brushing against her thigh. She had to bite her lip to force back a giggle; obviously she wasn’t the only one who was horny. Spike pulled back a little, giving her a worried look, but she gave him an assuring smile in return.
Having never been one to take the first step when it came to sex, Buffy didn’t know what possessed her to do what she did next. With one hand, she managed to unbutton her pants. Then, without a word, she took Spike’s hand and brought it under her black, silky thong. “Feel that? Feel how wet I am?”
Spike just nodded, too stunned to speak. His hands were shaking. He gasped as Buffy started rubbing against his hand. “God, Buffy…”
“Spike, I want you to…” Suddenly the familiar shyness overwhelmed her, and she couldn’t get the rest of the sentence out. Though she refused to look away, silently begging him to understand what she wanted.
He wasn’t about to make it too easy for her, though. “What do you want me to do, luv? Tell me.”
Dammit! He’s going to make me tell him! Taking a deep breath, Buffy then looked him deep in the eyes. “I want you to make love to me.”
TBC