Author's Chapter Notes:
Apologies for the long delay in posting this fic. My computer is now fixed and I've been writing at a furious pace.
Please be patient my I have just the one beta and she is working on both my stories so some times the updates may lag a bit on one or the other.
Big hugs to Jill for the wonderful job she does at making both of my stories readable.
Thanks also to the wonderful people who continue to review, you know who you are. And you lurkers remember, just one review from someone new can make an authors day.
Tara’s attention was pulled away from the vampire she had been watching over as she registered the startled gasp from the doorway of the room. Her eyes met the very shocked gazes of both Xander and Mr Giles.


“H-hey guys” she stuttered nervously.

Placing Spike’s hand gently back on the bed she got to her feet even as Willow reached her side.


Willow’s first reaction was to start babbling, but one look at the expression on both of the men’s faces had fresh tears springing to her eyes.


It was Xander that broke the silence as he rushed forward to embrace the nervous blond.

“Oh my God, Tara! It’s true… it’s really you”, he grinned picking her up and swinging her round; His grip was tight enough to make Tara gasp with pleasant surprise.


Placing her back on the ground, he continued to clasp her hands even as Giles came forward; his eyes suspiciously damp behind his glasses, impatient for his turn to hug the newly resurrected girl.

“My God Tara… when Dawn told us that you were here I-I, well I didn’t know what to think… but… your really here” he breathed out in wonder.


Tara smiled shyly up at Giles through her lashes, more than a little touched by their display of emotion.

Before she could say anything, Willow interrupted.



“Oh good grief you guys,” she said with a wide grin. “Will you let the girl breathe” Her heart filling with joy at the obvious pleasure that both Giles and Xander were displaying at Tara’s presence.



Giles eyed the redhead with a mixture of concern and warmth; the concern because even though Dawn had told them that it wasn’t Willow’s fault that Tara was back, it still disturbed him that once again one of Willow’s well meaning spells had been the catalyst, if not the cause of a resurrection.

“Willow” he cautioned sternly “We must talk”



His lecture was cut off abruptly as Tara moved and he saw the body lying on the bed for the first time.


“Bloody hell! Spike?” he managed to croak out, as his brain caught up with his eyes.

Moving closer Giles felt several different emotions surge through him; foremost was pity closely followed by horror, but on the tail of that Giles felt a surprising amount of anger, none of which was directed at the vamp.


As he stood looking down at the vampire, he remembered a conversation he’d had years ago with Spike about the power of redemption and the vagaries of fate.


Spike, he remembered, had scoffed at Giles attempt to convince him that maybe there was more to his being chipped than just random chance.

But looking at him now lying on this bed, damaged worse than he’d ever been, Giles had the horrible sinking feeling that Spike had been more tool than fool.


God… after Spike died closing the Hellmouth, it had kept him awake at night, thinking how close he and Robin Wood had came to dooming the earth.

And when he had found out Spike was back; it had been a strange mix of relief and trepidation that had settled around his heart.


From the reports that he’d gotten over the last day he now knew that Angel had somehow caused the battle that Spike had been so damaged in. Spike had been seen fighting alongside his grandsire against the combined forces of Wolfram and Hart’s demon army, and not for the first time Giles berated himself over his blind spot when it came to the blond vamp.


The vampire had saved all their lives so many times, that when it came down to it he should have been encouraging Spike’s attempts at being good, not plotting to get rid of him.

Even after Spike returned with a soul, his continuing prejudice and over protectiveness towards Buffy made him blind to the truth that a vampire had sought a soul for a human woman, and not just any woman… the Slayer.


No matter what the vampire had done to help over that last horrible year in Sunnydale he wouldn’t allow himself to see that Spike had truly changed. And as ashamed as he was to admit it… until just moments ago he had still had doubts.


But now, looking at the devastation that the vampire had again willingly suffered, he was forced to finally admit that Spike had changed beyond anything he could have ever foreseen.

Moreover, his latest involvement in saving the world could not be attributed to his feelings for Buffy. Spike had fought because it was what heroes do when they are needed, and if Giles had learned one thing about Spike’s death in the Hellmouth, it was that Spike was a hero.



His gaze scanned and assessed the damage, even as he cursed himself for his lack of faith in his slayer. If he had just trusted Buffy’s faith in Spike then maybe Spike wouldn’t be here in this room dying. Because Giles knew with out doubt, that vampire healing and witchcraft was not going to be enough to save Spike from the damage he had immediately recognized as dragon wrought.



Once, years ago when he had been young and much more romantic, he had devoured everything the council had to offer on dragons and the myths and legends that surrounded them.

The only consistent truth that he had managed to glean from all his research was that the bite of a dragon or the touch of its fire was fatal. That even if one happened to survive the initial attack, the saliva and the properties of its fire would ensure the afflicted person’s death to be swift and excruciating.


The only reason Spike was not dust must be because as a vampire he was quite a bit harder to kill than a human.

Though to last as long as he had?


“Willow, what have you given him? Has anything helped… is there anything I can do,” he stuttered helplessly.


Tearing his eyes away from the dying vamp to settle on the pale face of the witch, he once again found himself lost in feelings of uselessness, brought about by his own actions.



Willow’s face fell as she saw the fear on the watchers.

“Oh Goddess Giles, I’ve tried everything I could think of” she sniffled, fighting back tears as she thought back over the last night and day she’d spent with the vampire.

“But he was hurt by a dragon Giles… a dragon…and I didn’t know what to do and he begged me to not tell Buffy or Dawnie… and I promised Giles... I promised him I wouldn’t tell them and… and I… Oh God… I should have called you” she sobbed.

Finally breaking down as all her pent up fears of the last few days were released.

“Giles, oh God Giles… Buffy... she … she’s here and Spike is so... so…
I don’t know if we can save him even with the heart… and I should have told someone, but I promised him Giles…I promised him.”


Her words were harsh and ragged, full of the guilt she felt that she hadn’t done enough to help, the fear that she had made the wrong decision. That it would be too late.



Tara had moved forward at the first signs of Willow’s tears and now she cradled the redhead in her arms, her voice murmuring soft words of comfort as Willow cried out her fears.


Willow tried to blink back her tears, she needed to get herself under some sort of control, she needed to be calm, and she needed to tell Giles all she’d done - to tell him about the spell… and Buffy.



Giles found himself once again at a loss. What could he possibly say to ease Willow’s anguish, when his own guilt about Spike threatened to drown out any sense of control he had left.


How could he tell her that he was the reason she was here in LA in the first place. That there would perhaps have been no need for her guilt, if he had only listened to his conscience and told Buffy that Spike was back when he’d first confirmed it all those months ago.

Whatever he was going to say however became moot as he glanced towards the door only to lock eyes with the figure of Illyria.




Illyria paused on the threshold of the room, her grip tightening on the bloody bundle she held in her arms.

For a moment, the emotions of the shell threatened once again to overtake her. She fought with Fred’s leeryness of strangers, while her own need to protect her pet dictated that she destroy these latest interlopers.

A second of indecision later and she was moving swiftly across the room determined to crush the life from anyone who would threaten her will.



Willow’s tear drenched gaze jerked from Giles to the advancing form of Illyria and before she could even think, she had thrown herself between the God and the two Scoobies.



Head tilted to the side Illyria stared hard at the young redhead.

“Why are these mortals here, witch? Do you value your existence so little that you would practice treachery the moment my back is turned?
The vampire will be made whole… I Illyria have commanded it and you will not stand against me.”



“Whoa hey… just take it down a notch there Illyria, no one’s here to hurt Spike.” the witch defended “They just came to help.”

She took a nervous step back, even as she gathered her energy to defend herself and the others if need be.



When Illyria failed to respond, she swallowed hard, her mind going over all the possible spells she might be able to use against a pissed off former God.

It was with a sigh of relief followed by a sharp gasp of surprise that she registered Buffy and Angel’s entrance.


“Um Buffy you wanna lend a hand here?” she squeaked as Illyria moved threateningly towards her.



“Ok blue girl reign it in, they’re on our side” Buffy drawled as she took in the sight of a very tired looking Giles and a rather pale Xander.



Illyria’s eyes met the slayers and whatever she read there must have satisfied her. The former god king nodded once before sidestepping Willow to place her burden on the armchair next to Spike’s bed.



Buffy could see the questions in her watchers eyes, but before he could voice any of them, she turned to Willow.

“Okay Will’s we got it so let’s do this… Giles” she said turning back to face him.

“I know you have lots of questions but they’re gonna have to wait… Hey Xan. God you look like crap, good to see ya though” she offered with a grim smile, before turning back to the witches.

“So, Illyria and I got the heart, did you guys work out what we’re gonna need for the spell, and what else you need from me?” she inquired anxiously as she tried to avoid looking at the object of her worry.



Willow opened her mouth to answer but before she could, Buffy was off once again.

“Angel, we might still need you… You stay.” she ordered with a frown “But Giles and Xan, I think it’s best if you go and… where’s Dawn?” she asked, interrupting herself.


“She’s lying down”, offered Giles as he nervously sidestepped the slayers movement towards the door.


“Oh well that’s good” replied Buffy relieved that Dawn was not going to complicate her already complicated plans.

“Ok so Dawn is taken care of, which just leaves you two,” she noted leveling her gaze at the watcher and the one eyed carpenter.

“Right, I hate to be pushy guys but I need you to go stay with Dawn while we do this thing… And don’t even think of starting” she warned as she took in the sudden uncomfortable look on Xander’s face.

“I know neither of you two ever liked him, but frankly I don’t care. I lost him once I’m not gonna do it again, and if you two can’t deal? Fine, that’s your problem, just stay out of our way.”



“Um, Buff”… said Xander hesitantly.


“What” she snapped not in the mood for one of Xander’s interventions.



“I was just gonna ask is there anything I can do to help?” His eyes swiveled back to Spike’s body lying on the bed.

Swallowing heavily he met her angry glare.

“I-I could go rustle up some clothes or something for him” he offered.

“Not that bleach boy wouldn’t get a thrill about scaring me for life”, he said with a weak grin.

“It’s just that he might feel a little less exposed when you fix him if he actually had something to wear when he comes back to the land of the living. And maybe I could do a food run” he added glancing questioningly at Willow.



Willow smiled gratefully and nodded before turning her full attention back to Buffy.



Buffy’s eyes welled with tears as she looked at her oldest male friend.

She swallowed the sudden lump in her throat and forced a smile to her lips, gratefully acknowledging his support with her next words.

“That would be good Xan… though nothing with a Hawaiian motiff, or I won’t be held responsible for his actions”, she joked.

“Um… and the food… that would be good for later…. thanks.”



“No problemo Buff. There’s a diner just down the road, I’ll head out now and let the others know what’s going on, Giles can fill you in. he volunteered, seeing the question in her eyes.



Buffy’s eyes rested on her watcher, the look on her face unreadable as she waited for him to explain.



Giles cleared his throat nervously knowing that now was not the time to get into long-winded explanations about how and why he was in LA with a team of slayers.

“There is no need to be concerned Buffy, but I should probably tell you that Faith and three slayers are waiting downstairs, and before you yell, let me just say in my own defense that I did try to reach you before you left Rome.”


Seeing the hard look in her eyes he thought it probably best that he left off telling her that at the time of the call he had no intention off telling her about Spike’s return.

Best to leave the confessions until after whatever it was that Willow was planning to do had been completed. She did not need his latest betrayal taking her attention away from what really mattered.

When Spike was well, he would tell them both what he had done, and if she never spoke to him again… so be it.



Buffy’s lips compressed tightly as she studied the face of the man who deep down inside she still thought of as a father.

She knew there were things he wasn’t saying but an anxious glance at the vampire lying motionless on the bed was enough to push Giles related worries out of her head, as the sight of fresh blood caught her eye.



“Willow” she called worriedly as she moved to Spike’s side.

“He’s bleeding Will… it’s getting worse isn’t it?” she asked as she raised her worried gaze to meet the witches.



Willow frowned before moving closer to take a look at the fresh blood seeping through the bandages.

“It’s ok Buffy… We’re nearly ready” she stated after examining his wounds.

“Everything is set up, I just needed to read over the spell one more time to be sure.”

Taking in the panicked look on her best friend’s face she smiled with what she hoped was reassurance.

“We’re good to go Buff, and hey, even better, we have everything we need, including fresh sire’s blood” she finished as she met Angel’s eyes with a warning look.



With Willow’s words, Angel, who had not said a thing since entering the room, seemed to come out of the daze he’d been in.

His eyes traveled from Willow to Buffy to the figure lying on the bed before resting once again on Willow’s famous resolve face.


“Willow’s right Buffy, she has everything she needs” he confirmed. Knowing without being told that the witch trusted him to agree without asking for more detail.



“There” said Willow brightly, “everything is A ok… Now take your places, Tara will show you where to stand,” she added, as she turned to check that her earlier preparations were undisturbed.


Seeing that the circle she had drawn earlier was intact, apart from a small scuff close to the bed, she moved to correct the damage before turning back to face the others.

“Ok people” she said, taking a deep calming breath, “let’s get this show on the road”.

“Giles could you go sit with Dawn please?” Willow requested, throwing him an apologetic look.

“This spell is kinda major and only the participants should actually be here in the room. Tara will go with you” she said smiling at her newly returned love.


Tara nodded her head shyly before turning to leave the room, a thoughtful Giles in tow.

“Good luck guys”, she offered as she returned Willow’s smile.



Willow watched her as she left the room, marveling again at the fact that her lover was back.

Turning back to the others, the smile on her face faded as the enormity of what she was about to do hit her.

Moving to the head of the bed containing the vampire, with Tara’s book held firmly in both hands, Willow took a deep breath and began.





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