Giles had been watching the confrontation, first with worry then growing trepidation, but with Angel’s words, he found concern turning to fury.
“How Bloody dare you… You self righteous pillock!”
Buffy, on the verge of loosing her own fury on her former love paused, her attention diverted by her watchers sudden outburst.
Eyes wide with astonishment she stepped back as Giles pushed between them, his face twisted in an expression she hadn’t seen since the early days of Angelus.
“Listen up you berk, because I am only going to say this once.”
Giles voice was as cold as his fury as he faced the vampire.
“I’ve made a bloody lot of mistakes in my life, but the one I regret the most is not trusting in my slayer. Judging her because of one stupid decision she made when she was sixteen years old very nearly cost the existence of every single person on this planet. Thinking I was better able to judge and decide how she should live her life and with who, is my cross to bear. But...”
He glanced at Buffy his expression apologetic.
“I know when to admit, I’ve been a total arse. You however”, he shot with a glare, “knew as well as any of us how badly Buffy felt about Spike’s demise, but you unlike I had intimate first hand knowledge about his resurrection. You knew he still had his soul… and I suspect you also knew how much he loved Buffy. Yet you failed to inform any of us that he was back. You made a decision that was not yours to make… nor, I am ashamed to say, was it mine. Yes” he admitted shamefacedly,
“I have known months that Spike was back, and to my eternal regret I chose to keep silent because at the time I told myself that I didn’t have all the facts. Facts which you were in full possession of.”
Hazarding a glance over Angel’s shoulder at the slayer, Giles winced, the look on her face was carefully blank, but her eyes glittered with fury.
Shoulders slumping he stared hard at Angel before continuing.
“I at least had the excuse of being her bloody watcher… No… more than that. She is my daughter, in every way that counts. So I hope that she will understand, if not forgive my blind spot when it comes to her wellbeing. However, I will say this Angel. If I had known that the man that came back, was the same one that sacrificed his life in the Hellmouth, I would have been the first one to tell Buffy about his return. Hell”, he offered blithely, “I would have brought her a bloody plane ticket and wished them both well. I was a stupid fool,” he stated, eyes turning to the younger vamp “I am not ashamed to admit it, here and now”.
Meeting the blond vampire’s eyes, he nodded.
“Spike is a champion, and a good man. Moreover he is everything I could wish for Buffy. And I will never again doubt that… or my slayer.”
Straightening his spine, his eyes swung back to lock with those of the now furious Angel, carefully avoiding the temptation to look at Buffy again.
“You knew Angel. All that we knew, and more. And yet you stand here berating her about her choices. Spike very nearly died in your pointless fight, and you still refuse to give him any credit.”
He stared hard at the vampire before continuing.
“For pity sake Angel, grow up. Stop living in the past. Everybody with eyes can see that they love each other, and that whatever you think the two of you have is long dead. As for her liaison with the Immortal?”
Successfully resisting the urge to check to see if his glasses needed a good cleaning, he cleared his throat before continuing.
“It was her decision to make and I trust her judgment. If Buffy thinks he was worthy of her attention, who are you to doubt her... or her choices.”
Angel growled low in the back of his throat, hands clenching tighter with the watchers words. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, Giles reached forward and poked him firmly in the chest with his finger.
Each subsequent forceful poke, underlining his next words.
“SHE,” poke “IS,” poke “NOT,” poke “YOUR,” poke “GIRL.”
When Angel’s warning growl made another appearance, Giles quickly retracted his finger, but refused to back down.
“You have no right at all to make decisions for her, and you certainly have no right to tell her what to do. Any claim you might once have had was forfeited the day you left Sunnydale.”
Pride echoed in his voice as he stared the vampire down.
“She is no longer a child; she is a woman and a warrior, seasoned by circumstances you have no conception of. To be frank I find your actions to be insulting, both to her calling and to Buffy herself.”
With those words, Giles turned his back on the strangely unmoving vampire, concerned only with the damage he had most likely done to his relationship with his slayer. Facing Buffy, eyes averted he addressed his next words to her.
“Buffy, I am most sincerely sorry. I know that it will not change what I have done in the past, and I fully understand if you no longer wish to have me in your life.” Clearing his throat nervously, he continued.
“I will not try to defend myself in any way. You are my slayer; I should have trusted you to know what was best concerning Spike. And I should have come to you when I first learned of his return. My actions, in hindsight, were at the best unthinking, and I have no excuse, other than my inability to accept that it has been a long time since you have needed or wanted my guidance.”
Raising his eyes, he braved what he knew would undoubtedly be her look of disgust and disappointment.
Instead of the condemnation he expected, he met a gaze that was brimming with tears. Confused, he glanced to where Spike hovered in the background, but he found the expression on the blond vampires face to be just as unfathomable.
Taking the opportunity while he had the vamps attention he addressed his next words to him.
“Spike… regardless of my earlier words, I wish to take this opportunity to apologize to you, publicly. I was blinded by council doctrine, and unduly influenced by my experience with Angelus. I was wrong to judge you the way I did."
He cleared his throat decisively.
"Especially, as I myself was there to witness the changes in you. I ask that you accept my apology, both for not seeing you clearly before the soul, and for turning a blind eye to the reason you got one." As the vampire opened his mouth to speak his hand came up, motioning for Spike to wait.
"No, let me finish…"He said firmly.
“You Spike, did something absolutely unprecedented; you knowingly went looking for your soul. And I failed in my duty as both watcher and man, by ignoring such an amazing feat. For that I am truly sorry. As to the revelation that you no longer have a soul… I believe your earlier actions speak for themselves.”
Spike tensed at Giles words, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
If he had needed to breathe, he would have been in trouble. The watchers next words found him abruptly breathless with shock.
“You could have quite easily killed Kennedy tonight.”
“No sad loss” muttered Dawn.
“Yes well, quite.” Giles coughed, suppressing a grin before continuing. “Not only did you fail to kill her, you also refrained from defending yourself against three unknown slayers. Therefore, I think it’s fair to say… Soul shmole.”
He smiled briefly at the look on Spike’s face, before his tone turned serious again.
“I see the man you are, not the monster you were. Souled or not, it seems to me you are as I said, a good man, and I am truly glad you are back with us. Anyway, apologies aside, I will collect the girls and be out of your hair as soon as pos….”
Giles didn’t get a chance to finish; the wind was nearly knocked out of him as he found himself being hugged by a teary Buffy.
“Oh Giles of course I forgive you.” she whispered.
Burying her face in his jacket, she tried vainly to control the sob she could feel threatening to burst out.
Looking up at him, she smacked his chest lightly, trying to get her emotions under control.
“That doesn’t mean you and I aren’t gonna have words Mister, we need to have a serious talk about trust and boundaries…but Giles,” she smiled at him her expression soft. “I know you only ever did the stuff you did coz you care. I’m not saying it was ok… just that I understand.”
Blinking away the tears still threatening to fall, she hugged him again.
“It means a lot that you apologized… to both of us. And it means even more that you really believe what you said... thank you.”
Angel had watched the whole exchange with growing disbelief. He could not believe that Buffy was ignoring him in favor of her watchers sickening words. How could the girl he had loved for so long, be so different from what he remembered?
“Buffy” he started, only to be pulled up short by Faith’s hand tugging on his arm
Temporarily diverted from his intended lecture, he turned to face the dark haired slayer.
“What” was all he managed before Faith interrupted whatever he had been about to say.
“Whoa big boy…time to back off. You really don’t wanna go there again.”
Eyes meeting hers, Angel was disturbed to notice that her gaze was not only serious but also vaguely threatening.
“Listen up Angel, you are so far from right at the moment, that you’re not even in the same country. Buffy has made her feelings clear, and you need to respect them.”
“But…”
“No buts Angel, you fucked up” she stated, her grip on his arm tightening.
“It’s like Giles said, it’s her life, and you are not part of that life. So I suggest you quit while you’re ahead… or at least still undead.”
Angel’s jaw dropped. Had everybody gone mad? Didn’t they see that he was only trying to do what was best for Buffy?
He turned back to see Buffy’s reaction to Faith’s words, and found her grim expression focused on him.
“Buffy you cannot possibly…”
“Angel” she cut in harshly.
“What Giles said… ditto times two for me. You need to get the hell away from me and Spike, before I forget that I ever loved you at all. Coz, right now, I’m having a hard time remembering even liking you, let alone anything else.”
She stared at him, the full glare of a pissed off damage bound slayer, and Angel felt his soul shrink in fear.
Eyes darting around the room, he found no help; every other person in the room was looking at him with some measure of disgust or anger.
Everyone that is, except for Spike.
Spike had a huge smirk on his face, which quickly turned to a genuine smile as his eyes fell on the still furious look on Buffy’s.
Angel, contrary to popular opinion, was not a stupid man. He knew when to pick his battles and this was not it. Without another word, he turned and went back to his office.
“Wow, I thought he’d never leave” Xander drawled, crossing the room to hug his friend.
Buffy giggled before slapping him.
“Be nice Xan, I think Mr Broodypants got the message. And what the hell are you doing in LA anyway?”
“Ahh… Buff, I could tell you a tale of daring and wonder, of secret rescue missions in the dead of night…” He sighed dramatically.
“But” He admitted with a grin “I’m too beat to even start. Oh, by the way” he offered turning to the remaining vamp.
“Good to see ya Dead Boy Junior, and I don’t believe I’m saying this but … thank God you’re here, cos I kinda missed your undead pain in the ass self. And… Oh yeah, what the hell was up with you not calling the Buffster?”
He glared, smacking the vampire in the chest with the back of his hand.
Spike for his part shook his head, before putting his finger in his ear and wiggling it around.
“Oi Red, you haven’t gone and done some wonky spell have you? Cos I’m either hearing things or I somehow ended up in one of those alternate dimension thingies.”
Face twisted in a sarcastic grin, he gasped in mock horror. “Fuck! Please tell me there’s still shrimp.”
Giles was the first to burst into laughter, the others quickly following.
The slayers, those that were still conscious and not frozen, kept darting bewildered looks at each other, none of them sure what had just happened.
Illyria, taking in the merriment on the faces before her, frowned. Turning away rather than confront them, she silently exited the building.
As the others gathered around, excited babbling and laughter coming from all parties, Buffy found herself smiling, the first real smile she’d had in what seemed like years.
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Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, keep em coming.
Waves to Jill.
Waves to Jill.