Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry for the delay people, RL got hectic and I was still pondering the should I wait for a beta thing.
Good news... I think Ive got a beta. Someone offered and I'm just waiting to hear from them.
In the mean time, because the people who reviewed encouraged me to continue, I'm going to do just that.
But only here on the Spuffy realm.
And on a side note... I taught myself a little HTML (whoo hoo go me) so I can now post thoughts in italics.
Buffy halted abruptly at the opening to the fortune-tellers’ tent. Her bravado briefly deserted her as she again became aware of the tingling of her spidey senses.

The whole idea of having your fortune told had always wigged Buffy out big time, as if something deep down inside of her liked the thought of not knowing what was coming. Even as a small child at the carnivals and fairs her parents had taken her to, she had shied away from most of the fortune-tellers tents. The few times she had thought about it over the years, she had put her aversion down to her subconscious liking the whole ‘live in the land of denial’ thing. After all, her destiny was to be the slayer so she figured that her brain was probably just trying to cut her a break by not allowing her to get a heads up before she was called.

It was funny though, all those years she’d never thought to question how she knew which one’s were the real deal and which one’s were fake. She’d just known instinctively to avoid certain tents at certain fairs. Oh yeah, denial is my middle name. Her thought was accompanied by its very own mental eye roll, the irony of her currant situation not failing to hit home. Apparently, even back then, she had unknowingly sensed that such things were real.


“Oh well, best to just bite the bullet and get on with it,” she muttered, Armando’s laughter seemingly spurring her on in a way that no teasing from her friends ever had. She remembered one night, years ago in Sunnydale, when Xander, Willow, Riley and she visited a similar carnival. Xander and Willow both paid the small fee to have their fortunes told. She’d laughed off their attempts to get her into the tent by saying that she got all that sort of thing for free as the Slayer and that she’d rather blow the money on the tunnel of love. That, of course, had distracted Riley just like she’d planned, and he had all but dragged her away from the fortune-tellers’ tent.

Standing here now, she wondered idly if maybe her life would have turned out differently if she had let her friends talk her into having her fortune read that night. Maybe, just maybe she would have had warning about what was to come between herself and Glory… the whole dying thing. Even more importantly, she might have treated Spike differently if she had known he was more than he appeared to be.

What was it her Mother used to say? Something about wishes and horses and some sort of begging deal?

Oh well stalled enough, I guess, came the thought as she moved towards the tents doorway. C’mon, Buff you can do this It’s not like your gonna find out anything too earth shattering. I mean, what’s the worst thing she could say?
“I see the end of the world in your future…. beware the dark man,” she muttered mockingly. “Oooohh, scary…. Hell, I got the t-shirt.”

Armando, sensing her renewed hesitation, smiled at her before reaching down to take her hand, squeezing it gently as he wordlessly tried to convey his support. Together they stepped through the entrance and found themselves faced with a beaded curtain that hid the tent’s interior from curious eyes.

“Welcome to Madame Magda’s,” said a woman’s voice, echoing strangely from within the confines of the tent. “Step forward and be welcomed. May you find the answers you seek.”

As Buffy and the Immortal parted the beaded curtain, it seemed for a moment, to the Slayer at least, that she had stepped much farther away from the lights of the carnival than a few paces inside a gaudy tent. She looked around cautiously, her senses on full alert. She was quick to take note that the tent seemed a lot bigger on the inside than it did on the out.

Finally, her eyes came to rest on the woman she could only assume was Madame Magda. They widened in surprise as she took in the dark hair and eyes of the young and beautiful woman seated at the small round table in front of them.

“Uh hi… Wow, you don’t look like a fortune teller,” she blurted before she could stop herself. Good one Buff. She flushed with embarrassment as the woman threw back her head and laughed delightedly.

“Ah, so you are the American slayer… Buffy… So refreshing to meet someone whose heart is so open and honest,” she offered as she met Buffy’s startled gaze.

“Wow, you’re good,” gasped the slayer. “I’ve only been here a minute and you could tell all that just from seeing me?”

“Well, no,” admitted Magda pouting mischievously. “I am an old acquaintance of Armando. He and I go back quite a ways. And of course the gossip of the moment is dominated by both your names. You can not go anywhere in Roma without hearing of the Immortal’s new amore the Slayer.”

“Oh, of course,” Buffy agreed, her blush deepening with her embarrassment.
She turned to the Immortal and said brightly through gritted teeth. “I thought you said she was an old friend… as in the wrinkly and half senile type, not the’oh my God she’s so young and are those real type’.” She did her best to keep her voice down as she glared at him. After all, she had already embarrassed herself enough for one day.

Ah, my little slayer, she blushes so gloriously, noted the Immortal as he took in the rosy hue of Buffy’s cheeks. It made him want to catch her up into his arms and cradle her close for the rest of her days.

Magda’s next words interrupted his thoughts and caused a fresh wave of mortification in his girlfriend.

“Ah, our Armando,” Magda offered fondly. “He is always so diplomatic, no?” She laughed softly in a way that only a former lover can. “Oh do not worry Ma petit, as I said it has been a very long time. Turning to the man in question she smiled. “Madrid 1873, was it not mon-ami? And no, they are not real” She eyed Buffy’s chest speculatively. “I could give you the surgeon’s name if you are interested?’ she offered, gesturing for both of them to be seated.

“No-No that’s fine,” Buffy replied quickly. “So 1873 huh? That would make you…”

“Much older than I look” admitted Magda, grinning cheekily at the Slayer. Taking pity on the young slayer’s mortified expression, she explained, “I am half Sidhe, Buffy, so my lifespan is much longer than most. Though not as long as our friend here, of course,” she added, glancing at the Immortal with what Buffy recognised as melancholy understanding.

“My mother was human, a young gypsy girl, and my father was Sidhe. One of the fair folk.” She sighed melodramatically. “So here I am, long of life and gifted with the sight. Though I’m afraid to admit,” she offered, tone apologetic, “I’m more seer than fortune teller, for it is not fortune I see in people’s hands but fate.” The young seer’s expression became pensive with her words as though her years weighed her down in a way that had nothing to do with age. Looking up at Buffy, she smiled suddenly and her expression changed to one of curiosity.

“Now that is enough of my life story.” The seer’s tone became brisk and business-like as she met the slayer’s gaze. “You have come here to have your fortune told, have you not? Well, come. Sit. I will do my best to give you the answers you seek.”

“Oh well, actually … I-I really don’t have that many questions,” stuttered Buffy, fear flooding back as she noticed the fortune teller’s eyes were in fact not human, that her pupils elliptical like a cats. “You know maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,” she stammered as she attempted to get up from the table. Before she could even make it to her feet the half-Sidhe woman had grasped her arm gently but with a strength matching Buffy’s own. Pulling her back into her seat, she cradled Buffy’s hands in her hers, palms up resting them firmly on the table.

Buffy swallowed nervously. Glancing at Armando she tried to get his attention to let him know that she really didn’t want to be here but he, whether by design or accident, he failed to notice the glare she was sending his way.

Turning her attention back to Magda, Buffy’s eyes darted between the fortune teller’ --- correction, seer’s --- strange eyes and their joined hands. Magda’s gaze was focused on the palms of Buffy’s hands but as she watched the woman’s eyes seemed to loose focus, her gaze shifting to something only she could see.

It had grown so quiet within the tent that when Magda finally spoke Buffy nearly leapt out of her skin with fright.

“Ah,” breathed Magda, her voice as distant as her eyes. “You have lost so much… Watcher… lover… mother…and your life, all in service to this world. But you have also been given much…Strength… courage…good friends… a sister… and a love that burns for you beyond death.”

Magda’s eyes closed and she drew in a deep breath before continuing.

“I see three men in your life that you have loved with all your heart.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. That figures. Ok, standard ooglie booglie stuff so far, nothing that any cheap medium wannabe couldn’t have worked out given my age and local gossip. Both relieved and strangely disappointed Buffy waited for the standard “I see a dark stranger… and your going on a journey” spiel only to have the metaphorical stuffing knocked out of her with Madame Magda’s next words.

“The first love, lost to you” she looked up her eyes shooting open. “I see a curse... his curse. Ah yes, of course,” she nodded to herself as she looked down at their entwined hands. “He was not the one Buffy. You know this I think, in your heart.”

“Angel” whispered Buffy as the loss she’d felt at his abandonment swept over her once again, seemingly conjured by Magda’s unexpected words.

“Ah yes, Angelus. I should have remembered.” Magda replied solicitously. Looking up at Buffy she smiled compassionately. Her eyes pinned the slayer with the truth of her next words.

“He was your first taste of love, but he is not your destiny. Not like you believed him once to be. But I think, Ma cheri, you have known this yourself for a while.”

As Magda’s eyes dropped once again to study the Slayer’s palms, Buffy felt a strange sense of relief and freedom at the seer’s words. It was as though Magda had somehow given Buffy permission to admit to herself what she had shied away from ever since her resurrection.

Magda’s thumbs brushed lightly across Buffy’s palms as though she was wiping away the last of the slayer’s regrets. Her hands stilled and her grip tightened imperceptibly as she once again studied what only she could see.

“The second love I see is the love you feel for your watcher… more father to you than your own. But again I see your heart and your trust broken.
You find it hard to forgive him his trespasses… even knowing that what he did, he did for love of you.” She squeezed Buffy’s hands briefly, her expression sympathetic before continuing again. “Your heart it mourns the loss of faith, not the man. Ma petit, do not despair. He will surprise you again one day when you least expect it. Trust your heart Buffy. Your faith in him will be restored.”

As Magda’s thumbs repeated their earlier movements, Buffy felt the same sense of lightness that the Sidhe’s touch seemed to impart.

“Now we come to the third love…Hmmm. The third love… now, he is more difficult to see!”… she mused, brow furrowed in concentration. “Your heart it does not want to tell this tale. Your soul guards his memory jealously.
So much pain… so much passion… so much regret.” Head jerking up, her gaze trapped Buffy’s.

“This man you love… He was not one whose love you ever wanted, or thought you needed. I see two warriors brought together by hatred, destined to either destroy each other or be each other’s salvation. Ah, but the two of you… you danced with death from the moment you met.” The seer’s next words were filled with sorrow. “All you ever did was dance.”

The yearning Buffy thought she had managed to banish flooded back, overwhelming regret opening doors to memories so painful that for a moment she felt like she couldn’t breathe. Eyes filling with tears her mind travelled back to that first night in the alley behind the bronze. God, how she had hated his cocky grin, the way he had just come right out and told her he was going to kill her on Saturday night. All those years they had spent dancing around each other and neither had ever managed to take the other out.

Then, of course, he had gotten the chip. And even though she would never have admitted it at the time, that’s when it had started to change between them. Him first, of course, and then if she was honest… herself. Right about the time Glory took him and tortured him for the key’s identity. Then, just as she was starting to see him as something more, she’d died and come back more broken than even Spike could understand.

Magda’s voice jolted Buffy out of her melancholy memories. Trying to concentrate on what the woman was telling her, wondering if she had missed anything important, she very nearly missed something very important.

“Oh Buffy…” Magda breathed out in awe. “He was so much more than you ever expected. He loves you with every part of him… the demon within, and the soul.”

Magda looked puzzled for a moment then her eyes opened wide in sudden understanding. Glancing up to meet Buffy’s eyes, she giggled, “My you do have a thing for immortal men don’t you. William the Bloody. Such a romantic name to go with his romantic nature.”

Magda sighed. Suddenly without warning her eyes rolled back in her head and her body went rigid, her voice becoming strident.

“I see him…. There is an alley….Many demons surround him, and a dragon falls from the sky. The rain is pouring down and he is badly wounded badly…. Blood flows but the dragon, she falls. The blue warrior… helping him to his feet.
Oh my God,” Magda gasped. “There is so much pain…How he can still be standing?” she rasped brokenly, jolting out of her trance.

Turning tear filled eyes to the Slayer, she looked at Buffy in wonder before throwing the Immortal an apologetic look. When she spoke, her words were filled with surprised wonder.

”Buffy…He loves you so.” She breathed the statement out like a benediction. “He loves you so very much. Even through the pain and the grief of all that is lost there is still this bright burning spark within him that is his love for you. Ahh…to be loved by one such as him.” The seer’s voice trailed away as though she didn’t have the words to express what she was feeling.

Magda’s gaze once again travelled to Armando and she could see in his face the pain of acceptance. Whatever hopes he might have had for a future with the small blonde had been swept away by her words.

Buffy sat bewildered, her mind in turmoil over the Sidhe’s words. Everything she had said about Angel and Giles was true. And the fact that Riley didn’t even rate a mention sorta confirmed what she had realised after he took off for Belize. But it was Magda’s vision of Spike that had her stunned. That and the fact that nowhere in the whole of Magda’s disjointed ramblings had there been any mention of the vampire’s death in the Hellmouth.

As a matter of fact, she spoke only about him in the present tense, not the past. Spike’s been dead for nearly a year. So what do the dragon and the blue warrior in Magda’s vision mean? Surely, Spike would have told me that particular tale. After all, dragon fighting --- definitely bragworthy. Could it mean that maybe…..? No it couldn’t be. Could it?

A tiny spark of hope Buffy never knew she carried flared briefly… right before good old rational minded Buffy stepped in to smother it.

Oh. The portal… of course… The night I jumped…… wasn’t there a dragon that night? He probably didn’t tell me about it ‘cos of the whole being dead thing.

Crushing disappointment replaced the tiny flicker of hope that was still trying to take fire in her heart.

The Immortal had watched the hope flare then die in the slayer’s eyes. He knew that he had only to gesture and Magda would hold her tongue and Buffy would perhaps never find out the truth. But the look in her eyes would stay with him always. And he would know that the price of being with her was the cost of her happiness. As much as he wanted her, he wanted her to be happy more, so he did the only thing he could.

He spoke quickly before he had time to change his mind. “Magda tell her… Tell Buffy what your vision meant.”

The seer’s eyes darted to his, her expression questioning and full of compassion, before returning to the slayer’s grieving face.

“Buffy do you love this man? This vampire?” she questioned. Her eyes searched Buffy’s, She was reluctant to cause the girl any more grief than she had already known.

Buffy’s head shot up, eyes blazing with the strength of her emotions. Magda had her answer even before the word had passed the Slayers lips.

“Yes.”

As the seer watched, Buffy’s expression changed, new hope flaring with her answer. Magda sent a silent prayer to the Powers that be that it would not be in vain, that it was not to late.

“He’s alive.” said Magda gently. “Hurt, but alive.” She paused. “Well, as alive as a vampire can be” she offered, flippant words belying the seriousness of her tone.

“Where?” demanded Buffy, all traces of the girl buried under the determination of the slayer. The Slayer took over, while inside the girl crumbled under the twin burdens of shock and disbelief.

“I don’t know where exactly” replied Magda cautiously, the Sidhe part of her suddenly wary of the newly roused Slayer. This was no longer the sweet girl that Armando had brought to her tent. This woman in front of her was power. Light and dark perfectly blended. All of that power concentrated on one goal. To find her love.

“I saw an alley. A city. In the States. I can’t be sure exactly where,” she offered hesitantly. “though I think it was the West Coast. There was a battle. Your Spike was fighting. Demons, creatures….. Things I’ve never seen before.” She shuddered as her mind replayed the memory of the battle and the terrible creatures that had massed in numbers that seemed to her without end. “There were others with him…the blue woman and two other men. One dark, black I think. The other…? I couldn’t see his face, but I think the other wasn’t quite human.” She frowned, trying to put words to the brief glimpses of the fight that her vision had shown.

“I saw the dragon attack and the first man fell. The second man went to meet the dragon and your Spike… he leapt forward to help. And then it was over.”

She looked up into Buffy’s hazel eyes; they were brilliant green with unshed tears.

“Except for the woman,” Magda murmured. “And that was later…. After. She was wearing armour, all dark armour, and she was helping your man to his feet… though how he could even stand?” Her voice broke on that, a wave of horror overwhelming the seer as she remembered just what Spike’s fight with the dragon had cost him.

Buffy’s eye widened in shock. It was the only outward sign of her distress she showed as she turned to face the Immortal.

“Armando,” she addressed the man who was no longer her lover but perhaps still her friend. “I’m sorry I have to go… I need to be with him… I have to find him.”

Her face was calm but her eyes pleaded for understanding.

“Could you take me home? I have to tell Dawn and I need to call Willow. I’m gonna need her to do a location spell and then…then I’m going home. I’m going home to California,” she said, her voice a mixture of anger and determination.
“And when I get there, I’m going to find that stupid vampire. And when I do, I might just stake him myself.”

The Immortal noted the coldness of her tone, her stoic expression. Anger firmly in control, she was still unable to hide the joy and hope in her eyes. Watching her, knowing at that moment he’d lost her didn’t change the fact that he had never loved her more. This was the woman he knew she could be…

This was the Slayer.

“Of course, we will go at once,” he agreed, clasping and gripping her hands reassuringly. “I understand, Cara Mia. Anything you want. My plane is of course at your disposal, and any other assistance you may need.”
Bending forward, he placed a gentle kiss on the back of her hand. “You have but to ask,” he finished gallantly.

Buffy nodded once and turned to leave the tent as he paused to speak to Magda. The Immortal smiled before reaching out his hand to stroke the young seer’s cheek. “Do not feel bad for me, Cara. It is not your fault. Some things are meant to be.” Reaching down, he kissed Magda softly on the forehead before turning back just in time to see the flash of guilt in Buffy’s eyes.

Buffy was starting to come out of her daze, the Slayer in her receding as the girl in her was more able to cope with the shock of Spike’s continued existence. It was the Buffy part of her that saw the pain in her now ex boyfriend’s eyes.
She couldn’t help feeling a twinge of guilt for the way she had used him.
Because she knew now that was just what she’d been doing --- using him to hide from her pain, using him to help her not think about Spike. Now that Spike was back all she could think about was seeing him, touching him, telling him that she loved him. And instead of being pissed and unreasonable like most other men would be, the man whose heart she had just crushed offered her his private jet so she could run to the arms of another. Why is life so sucky?
Taking his hand she gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Boy Spike” she muttered “you better be worth it.”

I can’t believe I’m trading what most women would consider the man of their dreams for a rude obnoxious vampire. I must be nuts. She grinned, shaking her head in amazement. A smile curved her lips, as she pictured the look on Spike’s face if he ever found out what she’d just been thinking.

Shaking her self out of the daydream of Spike’s undoubted smugness, when and if, he ever learned what she had given up for him, Buffy remembered belatedly that there was someone else she needed to thank. Reaching forward as Armando released Magda, Buffy touched the other woman’s arm.

“Magda, I would say thanks but there isn’t enough thanks in the entire world to cover this one. So I’m just gonna say… if you ever need anything, and I do mean anything, you call. And if I can’t be there personally then half a dozen slayers will be.” She squeezed the Sidhe woman’s arm and gave her an intense look of gratitude before turning back to the Immortal, her face once again carefully blank.

“Are you okay? Are you ready for this?” he asked as they left the confines of Magda’s tent.

Buffy took a deep breath of the popcorn scented air, taking in the lights that now for some reason seemed just a little brighter. As she turned to walk toward the car park, she smiled up at him before looking away, her voice so soft that he barely caught her answer.

“Not yet. But I will be.”





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